A New Family
by Mariposa Prime
Summary: An autistic country girl, finally an adult and sick of being abused, runs away to the big city. In only a few hours, the initial plan to let the weather or the gangs in Chicago take her life are thwarted by an Autobot rescue team. How does she adapt? What happens when the girl decides to become one of them?
1. Prologue

Mentions of Young Justice…Planned crossover of Transformers and a little of ER, mainly focused on Protectobots and rescue work. Don't own anything but Mariposa and the plot! Lot of personal details!

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

Prologue

 **january 31, 2016, midnight**

I look around before adjusting the bag on my shoulder. This is it. I'm done. I spare one last glance at the farm I've lived on since I was born, then slip my duffel and messenger bag on the passenger seat of my old Dodge Spirit. It's time for a new start, in a new place. I've been verbally, emotionally, and physically abused for thirteen years, and I've finally decided enough's enough. I'm gone. A new name, a new identity, a whole new person. I'm moving on.

I won't tell you my real name, only that I am now going as Marianne Anderson. It's based off a Cybertronian name I chose from a fandom I follow, and another fan's surname for Wheeljack. I am autistic, and I love medicine and emergency vehicles. I used to work in one, until my disability became known, and I got fired. I lost my cert two years ago.

Mostly, right now, I just hope the rust-bucket that is my beloved Tinkerbelle can get me to Chicago.

 **January 31, 2016, 1:40 am**

I pull over to the curb and shut off the over-heating engine before locking the doors. While a part of me is wishing I had thought this through, most of me is just happy to be away from the man who has been abusing me for the last thirteen years. I'm finally free.

Now if only I had somewhere to go…

 **January 31, 2016, 5:30 am**

Two years ago, at this time, I was going through the worst day I've ever had. Two years ago today, I finally decided I was going to fight back. Now… to see what that sound was.

I look out the window, but see nothing. It's pitch black. I know I heard something, though.

"It's probably just someone visiting friends."

"Or someone's in trouble."

"Voices…" I whisper. I'm too scared right now to do anything else.

"There's someone inside, Hot Spot. I can't just abandon them. What if they need help? What if whoever's dying in there?"

"Great. Now I'm imagining things…"

I hear a tap as the car shakes slightly. " _Not_ imagining things…" Now I don't know whether to scream from fear—I am _terrified_ of aliens—or scream like a crazed fangirl because I have two Autobots—at least, I think they're Autobots—outside my car, pushing on it. Either way, I hit the switch and lean my head out the now-open door just enough to see what color their eyes are, then stick my head back in so they won't see me lose it—in a good way. "Oh. My. God. Oh my God. Oh-my-God-oh-my-God-oh-my-God-oh-my-God!"

"Excuse me?" I take a few slow, deep breaths, then open the door. "Are you okay?"

I nod, not trusting my voice. Apparently, I shouldn't have trusted my _body_ either, because the next second I find myself clinging to the nearest metal leg. I hear the sound of someone clearing their throat, and look up at what seems to be a red-orange and white bot. With rotors. ' _Blades. And not the nice one from Rescue Bots either. Oh, slag. I'm gonna die._ ' "EEP!" I pull my hands back quickly, and duck behind my now-destroyed car.

Another bot, this one red and white, leans over the car. "Blades won't hurt you."

"You—you're…" Between exhaustion, my excitement, and the dizzy spells I've been suffering from for a year, I'm starting to feel like I'm about to pass out. It's all I can do to find the ground before it finds me.

The red and white mech kneels to me before I can. "I need to get her to that Hospital."

"N-no. H-he'll find me."

"I'll take you to our place then. We'll protect you. It's what we do."

The blue mech sighs. I look up to see he's got red optics, but for some strange reason, I'm not scared. "Aid—"

Blades crosses his arms. "We can't take some human we just met home with us!"

The black and white mech glares at Blades. "We can't just leave her out here! She'll freeze to death!"

The silver mech leans against a concrete arch. "Where else _could_ we take her, where she wouldn't just run off?"

The white and red mech, whom I've now determined is First Aid, Medic in Training, transforms before opening the back doors for me. "Grab her bags, Groove. She's freezing." His next words, aimed at Blades and the blue mech, stun me to silence. "I'm the CMO now, and if I say she needs to come with us, she comes with us."

"Y-you're the CMO? B-but…" I blink back tears. "It really happened… God, no!"

"Miss?"

"Marianne." I sigh heavily. "He's gone, isn't he? Ratch? That bounty hunting fiend really did it?"

He's silent for a moment, and when he speaks, I can hear the pain in his voice. "It'll be two years in June."

"The same, in May, with my Mother." I sigh heavily. "Her biological son abused me, and I got punished if I told… The movies, and Ratchet, were the one thing that kept me sane most days."

"Oh, Mari…"

I shake my head. "That's why I don't want to go to the ER. I'm traveling under an alias, and haven't had the chance to legally change my name yet." I sigh softly. "He acts like compassion is a sin. I saved newborn bunnies last march, and he fed them to a cat—the same one he ripped from my hands two years before." I sigh heavily. The cat in question reminds me of something else. "Aid… Think you could at least help me get an Illinois EMS cert. I'd need to take the class again, but—"

"Anything you need. I'd even be willing to train you as an Autobot medic."

I look at my hands. "I'd rather be able to make that moot."

He pulls into a driveway, and lets me out. I grab my bags and step back to let him transform. "How?"

The blue mech holds up a hand. "First, we need to get a few things cleared up." I look at my feet nervously. "We'll let you stay here since Aid likes you, but you'll need to stay out from underfoot. One of us will take you to find what you'll need later, but for now, you need sleep."

I nod and lay on the couch. "You try to sleep on the side of the road in Chicago. It's frightening."

"She asked if I'd help her get an Illinois cert for EMS." He sighs before turning to me. "Why do you want to make my offer moot?"

I start playing with the strap on my bag. "It's one thing if I'm crying over him, because watching those movies helped me through the last thirteen years of emotional hell, but to see you hurting… I can handle it if it's me. I've been through a lot." I look up at the medic. "I can't if it's _you_ , or Optimus… It's times like this that I wish I wasn't just a human with a sensitive spine."

"A what?"

"My back's really sensitive, just along my spine, and sometimes my shoulders. I can't stand to be touched there, and it's always been that way." I yawn before pulling my orange knotted fleece blanket out of my bag and curling up into a ball on the couch.


	2. Settling In

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

Ideas based off Protectobot Beginnings by Playswithworms! Their stories are amazing!

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

Settling In

I've been living in this rather awkward new life for a week now, officially _and_ legally Marianne Anderson as of two days ago. It's surprising how different we act and live, and yet how similar at the same time. Most of the time, I have to sit around and watch them, or sneak around to do something, because they're too willing to help. It makes me feel kind of pampered, and even though I plan to make sure they don't keep treating me like a porcelain doll, I kinda like it.

The usual day starts—ironically—with my waking up even though they're trying not to wake me up. Always, someone either drops something or trips over something, and today…

I groan as I'm woken up by an angry outburst behind me. "We can't just wait around for them to attack!"

"Blades, we're not going out looking for a fight—not after what happened at KSI."

Right… I'd almost forgotten about that… They still have Ratchet's frame, too—even though it's still damaged from Cemetery Wind, and they caused even more. I sit up. "Why not?"

First Aid gives me a startled look. "What?"

"I didn't mean to start a fight." I sigh softly. "But if there's even a _chance_ in heaven to bring Ratchet back…" I sigh. "They may still have his frame. I doubt there's anything we can do, but _I_ have to _try_." I look down at my hands. "For Aid's sake."

"But—"

"I don't mean a _brawl_ , I mean a _rescue_." I glance down at the couch. "Besides, I still need a few things…"

"First Aid can take you. I'm sorry if we haven't—"

"No, no. You're all great. Trust me." I stick my head up over the back of the couch. "I'm not mad at any of you. I know you've been busy. I have been too—trying to find an EMS class near here—and I have, by the way—and trying to come up with a way to save the Autobots. With Ratchet gone…" I sigh softly. "Aid's hurting, Spot—maybe not physically, but emotionally, and I can't—I can't watch him suffer anymore. As I said before, it's one thing if it's me, because I can take a lot of slag, but it's another completely to see another person…so broken. Especially if they won't let anyone in." I wave a hand in the air. "Been there, done that."

Hot Spot steps over to me. "What?"

I shrug. "I…didn't have the best childhood, after my tenth birthday…" I look down. "And I've been punished for caring before, so I have to hide it. They'd act like I was faking when I was hurt or not feeling well, so I'd hide it. It's… Not easy to tell people, now. I'd just as soon handle it myself, than have someone else do it for me." I sigh softly. "That's why I went into EMS to begin with—to help people."

"Great. Another Aid."

I glare in the helicopter's general direction. "Take. That. Back." I scoff. "Just because I may hate to fight, doesn't mean I _won't_. If I hear one more bad thing about him, I'll…" I look around, my eyes landing on a discarded wrench. ' _Must've fallen out of Aid's tool kit…_ ' I pick it up. It's pretty big to me, but still small enough to handle. Must've been made for a minicon… "I'll throw _this_ at you."

I feel someone take it from me. "This isn't a weapon."

"But Ratchet—"

I giggle beside myself. "I know about that. Where did you think I got it from?" I shrug before looking up to the medic. "Sorry, about that. I kinda…inherited his temper…" After a fair amount of prodding, I poured the whole story out to the gestalt about the abuse I'd suffered, and the people who dished it out.

"Don't worry about it." He looks me over before moving back to the kitchen area. "You need to get dressed."

I look down before nodding. "Right. I'll—"

"You said you had a plan to get Ratchet's frame?"

I turn to a notebook. "Sort of… I'm not sure it'll work. You'll need a major distraction just to get inside, if I remember right from AOE." I flip to the page with several small diagrams around what looks like a floor plan of the building—I'd requested a tour the day after I got here. "It'll help you get Sides, Dino, Leadfoot, and anyone else they have. We'll need as much metal as you can grab, too. Aid and I don't have the seeds, and I couldn't bear the idea of hurting anyone if we did." I point out one. "We'd need someone back here with a big trailer, to collect the frames…" I point to the front. "And Aid commed Bee. They're coming out later today with the Yeager's. They'll help with espionage from here. Cade's got a job with Joyce—on my request—and he's got his own ID card. Joyce helped with the plan, but with the government still not really on-board…"

"We'll have to be careful."

"Right." I give him one more minute with the plan before putting the book away. "Because of the crappy human relations, I'd recommend not using a lot of force. I won't be there, mainly because I hate carnage, but I'll be a call away if you need backup." I look at my hands. The main part of my plans—this one, and the Revival one on the next page—hinges on getting all their sparks back, and that currently requires Optimus. He's got the All Spark in the Matrix.

"Wait…" I turn to the cruiser. "He tried to melt them."

"Right. I didn't forget." I look down. "Trust me, I wish I could get the pictures out of my head, Street." I sigh heavily. "Joyce may be a jerk, but he'll help, after Hong Kong. All I had to do to get a tour was mention Optimus Prime. He's been funding the Yeager's since they all got back, and they'll move into an apartment funded by him when they get here. Told me all about it when I went in to get the floor plans. He's paying for Tessa's college, too."

"How did you get insider information before—"

I shrug. "When you've got all day with nothing to do, you find a way." I smile. "I went for a walk a couple days ago, while you were all out doing God-knows-what as Defensor. I recognized the building and some damage outside from that heart-wrenching movie, and decided to see if there was any way to save Ratch. I've been thinking about it since I saw the movie, and seeing Aid's reaction…" I sigh. "I had to do _something_." I shrug. "That something only took a little thought, and some help from Joyce and his team."

"So why…"

I turn to the motorcycle. "Security cameras. After Optimus showed up here, they've been on high alert against Autobots and Decepticons alike. Some of the people working there are terrified of _you_ , let alone the _others_." I blink. "I meant Groove alone, not Defensor as a whole." I sigh before sliding off the couch. "Anyway, I'm not here for tactics, and I need to get changed. Aid and I need to get to the store before it gets too crowded."

 **With me and First aid**

Once First Aid and I pull out, behind the others, he sighs. "What was that about?"

"Remember what I told you?"

"About Aaron?"

I shake my head. "Not exactly. The parts where he'd read what I had on my computer." I sigh. "Extreme breach of privacy beside the point, do you know what I have on that thing?"

"Not really. You never let us see."

"Sorry. Force of habit." I sigh heavily. "Aid, I write stories, about Autobots and Decepticons, and the Chipmunks, and a few other series I like." I shrug. "It got me through a life of hell and an EMS course, what can I say?" I smile slightly. "Anyway, I make several things clear in all my stories." I lean back against the passenger seat. "First off, while I hate to fight, I _will_ fight for the weak. I'm a _lover_ , not a _fighter_ , but I'll _fight_ for what I _love_." I sigh when I feel him tense slightly. "That doesn't always mean with a gun, either." I smile. "I have enough compassion to look at that guy on the street and wonder why he's there, and wish I had something to give—enough to go into EMS without caring about the money Culver gave me. I wasn't an EMT for the traumas, or for the money—which wasn't a lot. I was there to make sure people wouldn't suffer. One call almost made me pass out, but I clung to my compassion like a lifeline." I smile. "And I have enough determination to make sure whatever I set my mind to _will_ happen. If it's for me, there's a chance it won't happen, but if it's for someone else, I won't stop until I reach my goal." I open a story—one of my crossovers—before turning the computer to the now—and recently—parked ambulance. It's from the Pacific Rim crossover I'd been working on.

He's silent for a few minutes as he reads what I'd highlighted. "Blades? Timid?"

I shrug. "Different series. Semi-based off you guys, but not fighters at all. I kinda miss watching it, but they're on hiatus right now, so it's moot. I'm watching for the new season, though." I smack the dash in frustration at the tears in my eyes, momentarily forgetting that I'm in an Autobot. "DAMN IT, HEATWAVE!"

"Hey, what's—"

I slide out of the ambulance. "Don' wanna talk about it." I sigh as a holoform follows me. "I'm serious, Aid. I'm not gonna talk about it."

"You still don't need to be alone. You—"

"I hit you, and I didn't mean to. Punching a pillow is okay, but punching you or anyone else isn't."

"You kind of reminded me of Ratchet, for a moment…" I shrug before stepping through the doors. "You know, you don't have to keep everything to yourself here. We're not going to get upset at you over it."

"Fine." I sigh heavily. "He killed himself—they all did. Rat—Ratch saved them, but…" I look down. "Aid, they drained their energon. They bled out, just to save the town they were serving. I-I handled it bad enough when it was just an episode. Think of how I'd handle it in reality, if I almost passed out over a TV show?"

"You're scared."

I nod. "Yeah… I can't lose you guys, Aid. Finding out the movies were real…" I shake my head when a thought about the series in question comes to mind and makes me smile for a moment. "God, that 'copter… fraggin' hotshot half the time, timid as a mouse the other half…" I shrug at the look I get. "Anyway, when I learned that the movies had actually happened, I was crushed, but one thought kept me moving."

"Saving him."

I nod. "Not for me, though. I've handled this and worse over my life, and I'll keep surviving." I sigh. "It was… how you sounded, both telling your brothers I had to go with you, and when you told me he was gone." I rub the back of my neck. "Aid, I made the plan they're using—and the subsequent plans I've got—to bring him—and everyone else I can—back, so we can win this war and have a life after it." I look down at my hands. "I may only be one person, Aid, but I'm not going to let that get me down. I won't let that stop me. One person—or one bot—I _will_ bring your race back—even if it means giving up my own life."

"You mean—"

"Yes. I'd die for you…for your brothers…any Autobot around… for Optimus… or for any human. I'd take the bullet for them, because I want them to have a chance to shine. My life is a small price to pay, after all…" I take a deep breath. "For any living creature."

How high does the sycamore grow

If we cut it down, then you'll never know

And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon

For whether we are white of copper skinned

We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains

We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

He gives me a look. "What? That's really how I feel. I'll only fight when it's my last option, now that it's an actual choice. I'd been forced to, with _him_ , and…" I sigh sadly. "It's sad, when you have to leave your own family, just to live the way you want, instead of having them live through you. I wanted to be a beauty queen; Mom never let me go into a pageant. I wanted to be in ballet; Mom put me in basketball after a year. I wanted to be on-stage; I was kept hidden. My one "day of fame", I had to be in a wheelchair because I'd tripped over a step!" I rub one arm with my hand. "I want to be a doctor, _he_ said I'd never make it. Even the CUTEMS director said that, when he let me go. That I "wasn't good enough"…"

"You wanted to be like us, from the start…"

I nod. The gestalt team knows about my love of cuddling, and I've tried to slip in where I could, but I'd never risk getting smooshed just to cuddle. "They say lesser beings are afraid of intimacy—"

"Where?"

"Young Justice. Organic version of a gestalt. Other planet in the show." I shrug. "Doesn't matter. They fear it, I crave it." I step over to pick out a bed, leaving the now-confused medic to figure out what I meant. I hate being cryptic, but I'm not out-right _asking_ for him to reformat me into a bot.

"What?"

I glance back to him. "I crave that closeness I see in you and your brothers. I want that, so bad I can taste it." I turn back to the beds before continuing. "I've had to distance myself from my family to survive, when I'm the kind of girl that loves to cuddle, and craves touch—not the bad kind, just to _be_ touched. To be able to reach out, no matter where I am, and _know_ I'm safe, because I can feel someone out there…" I sigh before glancing back to him, wondering if my words confused or upset him. "I just don't think I was supposed to be _human_ , Aid. I'm too different to them. I couldn't even hold a job in a facility based around _caring_ for people!"

"No one would approve of reformatting a human, especially with the bad publicity we've had lately."

"Being a government secret is a bad idea." I shrug. "'m just sayin'. It would've been better for them to just come out from the start, like in TFA or G1. Robots in Disguise is over-rated." I choose a bedframe before moving on to a mattress.

"There may be some way I can help…"

"Aid…" I sigh before using the credit card they'd given me to pay for the bed and mattress, as well as a few other things. They'd been discovered by one of the emergency teams, and have been helping out for some time now, getting a small salary, so I don't have to worry about "breaking the bank" over needing a bed. I've called my Dad on my old phone, and told him a truck would be coming for my things, so I'll have my own clothes still, which is good. I don't want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe—though a few new things would be nice, especially until my stuff gets here.

He waits until we're back in his vehicle mode. "I wouldn't be able to reformat you right now, even if it was allowed. Ratchet… Never got the chance to teach me how." He sighs. "But, there may still be a way to give you the experience." He scoffs lightly, almost reminding me of a cheerful version of the mech I know we both miss terribly. "Though I don't know why you'd want it."

I blink before staring at the steering wheel in shock. "What? Aid—"

He sighs. "Sure, it's comforting, not having to worry about where they are, or what they're doing, but it can be annoying sometimes, too." He sighs heavily. "I took a blast for them—point blank, from a disruptor cannon—back when we first got into the field… I still have some sensory issues and long-term damage to my joints…and my hands…" He sighs. "They—"

I rest a hand on the dash. "Hey. I understand." I—rather rudely, in hindsight—set my foot on the dash, my shoe—a gray and silver flat—on the ground.

"Why is there a bandage on your foot?"

"Nerve disorder. It's all over, according to my doctor, but no one believes it's there. I got berated about having a compression glove on my hand, because I "was faking", according to them. They thought I just wanted sympathy." I scoff. "I wanted to be out of pain, first off, and I knew the only way was the cloth braces, because the hard ones hurt my wrists." I wave to my foot. "Like that one. That's where it started. I don't want any sympathy, I caused the initial injury myself—never cross Fireflight with Hot Spot. You'll wind up with another event like that—but it was fine until _he_ shoved me onto the couch."

"They're kind of over-protective of me at times."

I sigh heavily, almost wishfully. I can't help but be jealous, with the life I've had. "That's not a bad thing, Aid…" I sigh again, the same way. "God, the times I've been hurt or sick, and had to take care of myself because telling someone I didn't feel good meant not being believed, even though I almost never lie. I mean, I know I have allergy issues, and I hurt a lot sometimes because of my nerves, but that doesn't mean I'm faking it for attention! I've told you all before not to pamper me. If I wouldn't do it myself, I wouldn't ask someone else to." I can't hold back the tears. "I cared, so much, but when I couldn't handle it—when my mother was dying, and I couldn't handle watching her fade like I'd had to watch Mam—they said if I ran, I couldn't go back home! As if my compassion for my dying mother was a crime! They—they treated me like I was a criminal, all because I needed things a certain way, and—" I unbuckle, even though we're still driving, and slide down before burying my face into the seat. "A-and a-all I-I wanted w-was to feel that—feel loved and sheltered like that…"

He sighs before looking around. Once he's sure no one's coming, he transforms and cups me in a hand. "It's okay. You're safe now." I can't help but curl into his hand. This is what I've needed when this happens—these meltdowns—and I've been forbidden to run to someone for so long I'd almost forgotten what being comforted was like. "I'll take you back home for now. We can finish your errands once you've had time to calm down."

I sigh before nodding, and curl up in the seat once he transforms back into vehicle mode.


	3. I'm a WHAT?

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

I'm a What?

 **Home**

First Aid walks in, carrying me in one hand. The rest of the team is back—which is surprising. I hadn't expected them for a few hours.

Hot Spot turns to us from the back door. "What happened?"

I shrug after Aid sets me down. "Meltdown. Hate 'em, can't help 'em. Wish I could, though."

"She ordered what she wanted at the furniture store, and they'll deliver them in a few days."

"Um…"

I look up to the wary fire-bot. "I can put it together myself. I told them to leave them outside the door." I sigh. "The mission?"

"Went fine."

"We put the frames in the medical bay."

I nod. "All right." I sigh heavily. "ETA on Bumblebee and the others?"

"Three hours. Said they needed to drop off the Yeager's first."

"Thanks." I sigh softly before grabbing my computer, then start for the stairs. The room they set up for me happens to be the one with a walk-in closet—of course, they don't really need closets, so it doesn't matter who gets the "master" bedroom. "Guess I'll get out of your metaphorical hair…"

"Why don't you come with me?"

I look up at the medic in shock. No one usually wants me around after I "melt down" on them like I did earlier. "I'll be fine, Aid. Really."

"I mean it." He smiles. "Besides, I may be able to help you with what we talked about."

I smile before running after him. "But I thought—"

He picks me up and sets me on his shoulder, computer and all. "Hold on tight, both of you." He sighs. "I haven't gotten the chance to scan you yet." I give him a look. "Ratchet wouldn't be happy about it, that's all." He sighs softly. "And, the results will tell me if there's any chance for you to truly get what you want, or if we'll have to show you what it's like on our own."

"Meaning…"

He sets me on a berth before stepping back so I can look around. There's a few cabinets, and another large berth, with a door in front of me and a tarp in one corner. He glances to me before turning to find something in one of the cabinets. "I'm going to scan for Cybertronian features, rather than only doing a routine medical scan. If I find something, it means you're a techno-organic, which means there's a chance one of our kind could form a spark-bond with you. It may not be as strong as what my brothers and I have, but it would give you a taste of what it's like."

I give him a hopeful look, but I have to know the other options. "And if I'm not?"

"Then I'll talk with my brothers about letting you stay with us sometimes, so you can at least have a grasp of being part of a gestalt."

"Stay with you?"

He shrugs, still searching for the… whatever it is that he apparently misplaced, this time in another cabinet. "While we've got our own quarters, we usually recharge together, in the room across from the one you chose. After almost losing them…" He sighs. "I guess I'm a little protective of them, too."

"Not a crime." I shrug. "Aid, trust me. I'm protective too—overly so, sometimes." I look down. "I wish I had my kitties…"

"Kitties?" He pauses for a moment. "Cats? You had a cat?"

"Two, actually. I almost lost one two years ago, because Dad didn't want her inside, but I couldn't just throw her out." I sigh heavily. "The other one was dumped in my lap. She's the sweet one. Miko's the frustrating one, but I still love her."

He looks down at me. "What happened?"

"I had to leave them behind. Miko doesn't travel well, and Winky hates riding in cars." I sigh heavily. "I'm worried about them. Mom had Winky declawed—they cut out her claws, it's a ten-part amputation. I got Miko after Mom died, so she's still got hers, but she's more wired than her "sister", too."

"Sister?"

I shrug. "They're my babies, Aid. I don't care if they're a different species, they're my babies."

He sighs before walking over with something I can't recognize. Too late, I realize I'm in an alien medical bay. It's not that I'm scared—quite the opposite, actually. I'm excited—so much that I'm about to jump off the berth and run around, trying to see everything at once. "You're not afraid of being in the same berth as us, are you?"

I give him a look. "I told you I wasn't." I tilt my head to the side. "I'm just a little confused… You don't—"

"No, no, no. We don't do _that_. We're _brothers_ , Mari. The only time our sparks are that close to each other is when we're combined, and it can't be prevented."

"Right." I rub the back of my neck. "Just had to ask. Prevents anything awkward in the future." He leans down and starts the scan before stepping away to look over the results. "So…" I slide over to the edge and start kicking my feet. I have more energy right now than I have over the last week—thanks, excitement. It feels like I've gone through six cans of mountain dew in the last hour.

He glances back to me. "You seem… excited?"

"First time in an alien medical bay, and I love the medical field. I wanna see everything!"

He laughs softly. "Reminds me of Hot Spot—except for the medical part."

"Excitable?"

"Energetic." He sighs. " _Very_ energetic."

I smile. "Sounds like someone I know…" I giggle softly. I'd always been the first EMT in the rig when I was still on the team.

"Really? Who?"

I giggle again. "Me." I smile when he stares at me in surprise. "I was the first one on the ambulance every time a call came in, and—except for that one time—I remembered what to do. None too bad—save one that thankfully—and sadly—was called off."

"Sadly?"

"First Mass Casualty event. Thankfully for the people, sadly for me." I shake my head. "God, I almost fainted from excitement on the way to my first call. I couldn't _breathe_ , I was so excited."

"Sounds like you'd be a good addition to the team—once you get trained."

"Isn't that up to…" I point toward the house.

"I'm the CMO, remember?" He sighs. "And I meant the Autobots. We could use another medic. Without…"

I nod. "I know, Aid." I look down before sliding off the berth.

"Where are you going?"

I sigh softly. "Just looking around. I'm not leaving."

He kneels to me. "You don't have to be defensive. We're not going to hurt you." He smiles. "And I'm not upset. It's all right." He stands. "Go ahead and look around, but don't get underfoot. I don't want to step on you." He hands me my computer. "And keep this little guy with you."

"Gladly." I sigh softly. "Wish he—er, it—was a bot. There was one before…"

"He's on his way, with Bee."

"I remember that." I look down. "But he's damaged. He lost a leg. I wish I knew how—but—"

"I'll see what I can do." He turns back to the screen. I hear the sound of metal hitting the floor. "Aid? Is something—" I run over and pick up the large cloth to find a battered wrench. "Oh…" I run a hand over it. "Must've belonged to Ratch…" I look up. "Aid? You okay?" I tap his leg. "Aid?" I shake my head. More than likely, he's talking with his brothers through the gestalt bond. "EARTH TO FIRST AID!"

He jumps before looking down to me. "Sorry…"

"Don't be." I sigh softly. "You okay?" I hold up the battered wrench and the cloth. "You dropped this."

He sighs before sitting behind me, then takes it. "This used to be Ratchet's favorite."

"I figured _that_." I smirk. "The one he threw, right?" He nods, causing me to giggle before sighing softly. "Wonder who he threw it at last…"

"A _door_ , actually. Sideswipe escaped."

Now I'm out-right laughing. It's only a moment before he joins in. "Guess it's a good thing I was good at dodgeball, huh?"

"Yep." He stands and steps into another room before setting it down, then returns to the computer screen, but instead of reading anything else, he glances over it before kneeling to me. He picks me up and sets me on his shoulder before setting my laptop behind us. "Do you know how to read this?" I shake my head lightly. It's in Cybertronian—I think the Autobot language. "But I could decode it."

"What?"

I wave toward my computer. "I downloaded the Autobot and Decepticon codes a couple years ago."

"Ah." He sighs. "Well, that may take a while. I'll just tell you what it says."

I look up at him. "Anything bad?"

He shakes his head before settling on the berth again. "Something good. You're not _just_ techno-organic…" I tilt my head to the side. "You're a Prime, Mari."

" **I'M A** _**WHAT**_!?"

"You're a—"

I shake my head. "I heard you, I just don't believe you."

"The Star Healer…in my medical bay…"

Apparently I'm not the only one surprised. "Aid? What—"

"We can save him… We can really—"

The door slams open, causing me to jump before cowering behind Aid's foot as four sets of legs appear. The slamming door caused a minor flashback, and I'm scared.

"Aid!"

"What happened?"

"Are you okay?"

"Where's Mari?"

He stands, being careful not to step on me. "I'm fine."

I take a shaky breath, one hand resting over my heart. "I'm not…"

Hot Spot kneels to me. "What's wrong?"

I take a deep breath. "I thought you-know-who found me."

He sighs. "We're sorry."

"We thought something happened to Aid."

I shake my head before looking over to where the others are cuddling into him. "Well, he's a little shaken up, but I don't think it's a bad thing—well, not a bad _reason_ , anyway."

"He told you—"

"About the disruptor blast and its effects? Yes. Trust me, I know. I understand the sensory issues too."

"You do?"

"I've had a few sensory overloads in the past myself, Spot."

"Triggers?"

"Sudden loud noises make me jumpy, first off, so no air horns please. I don't actually have triggers, because they come on suddenly, but I know how you could tell. I'll have on sunglasses, or I'll have my music off. They don't usually happen all at once."

"Tactile?"

I move my hand side-to-side. "I get a little more sensitive sometimes, but it's really hard to explain. I'm still learning about my condition myself." He nods, then glances up to Aid. "Go ahead. I'll be okay. I'm not a stranger to flashbacks." I look at my hands before glancing toward the tarps piled in one corner. "Hmmmm…" I wander over before lifting one corner, and freeze in shock. Ratchet's head, with the armor half-melted off from KSI and damaged from Cemetery Wind and Lockdown, is staring at me blankly—well, not exactly, but it feels like it is. I stumble back with a scream, then start to cry almost silently as the memories from the movie flood my mind.

The five almost sound like one mech. "MARI!"

Someone picks me up before holding me against their chest. "What happened?" It's First Aid. I shake my head before curling up against his chest. "Spot…"

"She—" He glances at the tarp, still slightly raised. "Oh, no…"

"What?" The others turn to him.

"She moved the tarp."

"The—" First Aid glances over. "The tarp." He sighs. "Why didn't you put them in his—in _my_ office?"

Blades sighs. "Sorry. We didn't think, Aid."

Streetwise scoffs before waving a hand toward Blades. " _He_ didn't think."

Hot Spot sighs. "I used to think things like this couldn't happen with us…"

First Aid sighs. "I'll get her inside. Maybe I can calm her down."

"Blades, Streetwise, move the frames into Aid's office before she comes back out here. Groove, check on the new base set-up. Mari's been trying to get it livable, but she—"

"I know."

"Where are you going?"

"To check on Mari. She was really shaken up."

"I'm really sorry, Spot. I didn't know she'd—"

He sighs. "Don't worry about it."

* * *

 **Inside**

I sigh and curl into Aid's chest. "You okay?"

I nod, but don't move from my spot. "Wanna cuddle."

In his favor, he only raises an eyebrow ridge. "I'm the only one here right now…"

"What's wrong?"

"Not anymore."

"She's all right, Spot."

"Just a little shaken. I didn't expect to see a head staring out at me like that." I look down. "And the fact that it was Ratch's…" I sigh softly. "I'd never had a bad call before…" I rub the back of my neck. "I mean, I did go out on a paramedic assist once, but it was medical, not trauma. I've… never seen so much damage before, Aid. I—I don't know if I can do this… I wanted to be a field medic when I first became an EMT—that and a doc, but…"

He runs a finger over my head. "You're a natural. I can tell." He sighs softly. "It's not easy for me, either, but…"

"We do what we must."

"Ratchet used to say that to me after a bad day." He looks down at me. "Where did you hear that?"

I shrug. "TFA's version of Ratchet. He said it to Omega." I sigh softly. "And one of the medical dramas I used to watch said that if you hang onto your feelings—your compassion—if you're gonna be a good _doctor_ —you're gonna get sick sometimes, but helping the patient is more important than how we feel." I look down. "But…" I sigh softly. "I almost fainted over practicals, Aid. If I can't even handle a little oral exam, how the slag am I supposed to be a doctor!?"

"Be patient with yourself, first of all. I've got medic programing and I didn't get here in a day." He sighs. "So, when's your class start?"

"Wednesday. Why?"

He smiles. "I want to make sure I'm free to take you in."

"Aid, you're an ambulance—" I giggle. " _And_ a Protectobot. Why wouldn't you be free?"

"I may be needed at the fire department, or one of the Autobots may need me."

"The class is _at_ the fire department, goofy." I laugh softly. "I figured whoever took me in would pretend to be a normal truck for the day and run with them while I worked on refreshing skills."

"Good idea." We glance up to the fire-bot behind us. "I'll be out in a few minutes."

I slide off Aid before starting for the back door. "I need to check on the suites for Bee and the others."

"Groove should be almost done by now."

I shrug. "All right." I glance over to them. "Sorry… about being so high-maintenance. I never wanted to cause so much trouble… I can—"

The fire-bot kneels in front of me. "You're not causing any trouble."

"But Blades—"

"Blades is going stir-crazy because we haven't had a battle in a while. It's not your fault. We may be close-knit, as a team _and_ as a family, Mari, but we're still different mechs. We don't get along all the time. Blades and First Aid disagree all the time." He sighs. "You should have seen the Aerialbots, though. Silverbolt's team was always fighting over something…"

"Like Briar and I. He got all the attention, and I had to handle myself most of the time. As we got older, he started hitting me, but I didn't have the _right_ to hit him back. I used to be desperate for siblings who rarely fought. You don't know how lucky you have it, Spot. Really…" I sigh before changing the subject. I don't want to talk about my old family anymore. "But Blades and Street—"

"Street wanted to put the frames in Aid's office so you wouldn't be upset. Aid was going to handle the worst damage, then have you come help with the minor, so you could get some training. Blades put them in the corner."

"Groove?"

He shrugs. "Just followed the others. Not everyone's used to having you around yet, but we'll get there."

"I know."


	4. Bumblebee

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Bumblebee

We start back toward the medical bay. "So… Star Healer…"

"I'll work with you if you need it, but I'd recommend having Hot Spot around when we do."

"Right… Healing fire."

"You—How do you know about her abilities?"

I shrug. "I've been dreaming about being a bot for four years, Aid—since before I finished my EMS training the last time. I stumbled over the abilities, and…" I sigh softly. "It's exciting, really, but I think there's something more exciting around here for me than just being a fire-bending techno."

"You mean the gestalt thing."

"Gestalt thing?"

We both look up to see Hot Spot staring at us. "She—"

"I crave the closeness other people fear." I sigh at his confused look. "I was telling Aid about something from a show I used to watch. One episode had an organic gestalt from another planet, and the girl on the team told this kid that lesser being feared intimacy, meaning closeness, because there's no secrets when your very souls combine in Defensor—" I sigh and trace a line on the ground. "I've always known I wanted to be an Autobot, but…" Why the frag is this so hard? "I wanna be a Protectobot, Spot."

He blinks at me for a moment. I think I surprised him. "I'd need to talk with Optimus and my brothers…"

Aid shrugs. "She only brought it up this morning—said she'd wanted to be like us from the time she met us."

"Correction." The two look down at me. "Since I _heard_ of you guys. I've known about Autobots since I was nine, Aid. I wanted to be a doctor at seven. I loved being a rescuer, and I can't wait to be one again. I love helping people! Hell, my favorite cartoon right now is Rescue Bots for Primus sake! I'm almost going stir-crazy myself because they're on hiatus and my DVR with its recordings is back in Indiana!"

"What?"

"I can't watch my favorite transformers rescue show—and I don't give a frag that it's made for four-year-olds. It's on hiatus, and I don't have my DVR, where I had it recorded—every episode, waiting to be watched and enjoyed over and over again. Briar's probably deleted them by now…" I shake my head. "I'm here, with the team they're based off of. I can last a few more months, at least." The two give me a look. "E-X-P-Y's, according to TV tropes. It's a character based off another. Which means…" I sigh heavily. "Even though they don't have a medic, they're based off your team—without the combining."

"They don't—"

"Air support _acts_ as medic because of Cybertronian EMT training. There's only four." I roll my eyes at the look. "They have a bulldozer, a fire truck, a helicopter, and a police cruiser—Boulder, Heatwave, Blades, and Chase respectively."

"Blades?"

"Blades." I smirk. "Hotshot half the time, timid the other half, and just as compassionate as Aid, all the time, with a handful of reckless moments." I smile. "He and 'Wave are my favorites in that series." I can feel the fire-bot staring down at me. "I like fire trucks, and he…" I blink back tears. Seeing Ratchet's off-line optics only made it more real. "He's a lot like Ratch, personality-wise." I take a deep breath, then let it out in a heavy sigh. "Boulder loves Earth, and everything about it. You couldn't help but love the big guy." I smile. "Chase. Is worse. Than Prowl." I shrug. "Sometimes, anyway. He doesn't crash, and he knows when rules won't help, but it's still frustrating sometimes. I know 'Wave feels that way." I look up at a very confused Hot Spot. "He's the leader, just like you, but he hates rules. Chase is obsessed with them, Blades is timid, but courageous—though he doesn't see _that_ —and Boulder doesn't really understand some things at first. All that, together…" I shake my head. "Their team dynamics are probably somewhere closer to what you've said about the Aerialbots than to you all personally." I giggle. "But they're still a team, at the end of the day, and all them—the Burns family included—they're partnered up with the family, and the youngest acts as a liaison because he's too young to be a rescuer himself—they're one big, dysfunctional family." I sigh heavily. "I'm sorry… I tend to ramble on about my "special interests"."

"Not a problem." Aid smiles down at me. "We may just have to start watching it with you, when the next season starts."

"We'd be able to start _now_ if we had my DVR…" I shrug. "Or if we could find it on DVD. I still haven't been able to, and it's three bucks per episode. I can't justify buying them like _that_."

* * *

I walk over to the newly-arrived bots, doing my best to keep my personal feelings about the samurai to myself. "Glad to meet you all in person."

" _ **Glad to be here. Who are you?**_ "

"Marianne, or…" I think for a moment. "You can call me Mariposa, if you want. I live with Defensor."

" _ **You can understand me?**_ "

"Yep!" I step over to the yellow mech and hug his leg. "We'll find a way to fix you, Bee. I won't stop until I figure it out."

" _ **You really don't have to…**_ "

"I want to." I turn to the others. "Crosshairs, Hound, you two can go with Bee and get settled." I look up at the samurai nervously before taking a deep breath. ' _He's not Lockdown. He didn't kill Ratchet. He redeemed himself the moment he joined us. Since when do I think US with Autobots?_ '

I step back slightly as the samurai kneels to me. "Is something wrong?"

I try and fail to blink back tears as the memories come back again, but shake my head. It's a few minutes before I find my voice. "Why did you do it?" He gives me a confused look. "Why did you lead Lockdown?"

He sighs. "I was a different mech back then…" He looks at the ground. "He killed my best friend, and injured my sensei."

I look at the ground for a moment before looking up at Drift with a knowing look. "He killed someone I looked at as family, and hurt someone whom I've tried to live up to." I step over and lay a hand on his arm. "I'll _never_ be able to forgive Lockdown for this, but…" I look up into the gentle optics. "But I _can_ forgive _you_." I look down when I feel Hot Spot and First Aid staring at me, and address the two without turning to them. "Ever since I learned he'd led Lockdown on a con mission, I've blamed him for Ratchet's death, just as much as I did Lockdown. I couldn't find it in me to forgive. Now…" I sigh softly before turning to them. "The first step to healing, in this case, is forgiveness. It took me a long time to be able to, and…if I'm allowed to be a part of Defensor…I don't wanna take that level of emotion into _that_. It would throw off the delicate balance you need to have, as a gestalt."

Aid kneels beside me as Drift starts for their base. "You don't know much about gestalts yet, Mari."

"I know." I sigh softly. "But I'm serious. If that level of emotion is dangerous in a drift, then it would be five times worse to have in a gestalt."

"Drift?"

The samurai glances back to us, but I shake my head, causing him to head inside. "It's off a kaiju movie. Two minds—two humans—combining their minds through a neural drift to operate these 200+ foot robots, to take down the monsters and save humanity. Taking a large amount of negative emotions into the drift means you could latch onto a memory, and you'd fall out of sync, then you couldn't operate the machine, and you'd die. I don't wanna be that to Defensor. I want healing, not vengeance." I whimper softly. "It's just…too real now, Aid. He's gone. He's _really_ gone. We may _never_ get him back!" I fall into the Protectobot's arms, once again a sobbing mess.

"You'll get through this." He sighs. "We both will." He sighs heavily. "It's late. I need to lock up, and you need to eat."

I shake my head. Meltdowns take what little appetite I usually have. "I'm fine."

"Mari, you've barely eaten anything since you got here…"

I look down. "'M jus' not hungry, Aid. I don' wanna force myself to, 'cause I might get sick."

"Sounds like you've done that before."

I nod. "Dizzy spells. They haven't been bad since I got here, though, so I'm not too worried. I think I've got PTSD from what Aaron did, and possibly from Ratch, though that was mainly a movie…"

"Seeing him off-line couldn't have helped with that." I shake my head. "Well, maybe I can sneak you into the cuddle pile tonight…" He glances up suddenly before setting me down. "Try to eat something. I need to talk with the others."


	5. Protectobot

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

Song belongs to The Band Perry!

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Protectobot?

 **House, Normal POV**

I look down before stepping into the house. I warm up one of my small Chicken Alfredo dinners before eating it, not wanting to seem ungrateful, even though I really just want to see the green medic back with us—even if I do hate the color.

I head into my room and change into a black batman pajama top and black pajama pants. After a few minutes, I sit in the corner, and hook my earbuds up to my smartphone before starting up my music app. Once I have the song I want, I start to sing along, softly; almost painfully.

I wanna wake where I was born and breathe the old air in

I need a haunt from a ghost that I knew way back then

Oh I hope they left the light on

I want someone who knows me just to say my name

To tell me though things are different now

Somehow I'm still the same

Oh I can almost hear them calling

I don't know if I'll be back again

Turns out they were right again

(get back to what you know, get back to what you do)

Gotta get back to me, Ooooo

If it's true, home is where the heart is

I guess now I'm homeless

(get back to what you know, get back to what you do)

Gotta get back to me without you

For two years I lived my life way out on a limb

I put my faith in you not knowing you were breaking me in

I hate feeling falling

I don't know if I'll be back again

Turns out they were right again

(get back to what you know, get back to what you do)

Gotta get back to me, Ooooo

If it's true, home is where the heart is

I guess now I'm homeless

(get back to what you know, get back to what you do)

Gotta get back to me without you

Oooooo

Oooooo

I added rain to your ocean

What did it do, it meant nothing to you

You made grief my chief emotion

Why'd you have to do what you thought you had to do?

Oooooo

Oooooo

Get back to what you know

I don't know if I'll be back again

Turns out they were right again

(get back to what you know, get back to what you do)

Gotta get back to me, Ooooo

If it's true, home is where the heart is

I guess now I'm homeless

(get back to what you know, get back to what you do)

Gotta get back to me without you

The slow death of the slow dance

Tailspin of a romance

Gotta get back and breathe the old air in

* * *

 **Medical Bay, Protectobots, Third POV**

"What did you need, Spot?"

"Optimus is still off-world, and Bee doesn't know when he'll be back, so it's up to us."

Blades turns to him. "What's up to us?"

First Aid sighs. "Mari wants to join us."

"She's a human!"

"Techno-Organic, Blades, and a Prime." Streetwise sighs before turning to First Aid. "But she's vorns younger than us, and I know she's got a lot of trauma."

Aid sighs. "Most of which was caused by her human family."

"It's one thing to take the human in, Aid, but to include her in Defensor?"

"She asked _me_ , Blades."

Aid nods. "She brought it up to me earlier, but she asked Spot."

Groove sighs from his place beside First Aid. "Who would we be to turn down a Prime?"

Blades scoffs. "She's never been trained!"

Streetwise huffs. "Where would she even connect?!"

Aid sighs. "We'd figure that out when she was ready. She hasn't even tried to transform yet."

"None of us were trained when we joined the Autobots, either." Hot Spot sighs. "You didn't see her, Blades. She was so…broken, but she made it a point to talk with Drift, even though she blames him for Lockdown. Even then…" He sighs. "She still managed to forgive him for everything. She cares just as much as Aid does."

Blades scoffs. "Which only gives another reason not to let her in."

Aid actually glares at him. "What do you mean?"

Blades crosses his arms. "She won't bring a new perspective."

Streetwise scoffs. "Blades, she's grown up as a human. That's more than enough of a new perspective, and she was an EMT." He turns to the medic. "Right, Aid?"

First Aid nods. "She's starting another class, to re-cert, in a few days. She's really excited about it." He sighs. "She's even harder to keep up with than Spot—and that's when she's dealing with a few minor medical issues."

" _Joy_."

Groove glances to Aid. "What else did you notice?"

Aid sighs. "My compassion, as Spot mentioned, and she's got PTSD, so she's as aware and alert as Street, and careful—really careful." He sighs. "And she's got Ratchet's temper, as you probably remember from this morning."

"Yeah…"

"I think we're ready to decide."

* * *

 **House, Normal POV**

I've been playing the same song on a loop for the last fifteen minutes, sometimes singing, sometimes just listening, but still feeling small and alone in the universe.

Oooooo

Oooooo

Get back to what you know

I don't know if I'll be back again

Turns out they were right again

(get back to what you know, get back to what you do)

Gotta get back to me, Ooooo

If it's true, home is where the heart is

I guess now I'm homeless

(get back to what you know, get back to what you do)

Gotta get back to me without you

The slow death of the slow dance

Tailspin of a romance

Gotta get back and breathe the old air in

I look up, hearing the door close downstairs even with my music up as high as it goes. I stop it and pull out my earbuds before putting my phone on the charger.

"Mari?" I look over to the bot at the door. "Hey, Spot…" I glance back to my phone, and the few things I bought—still sitting in bags and boxes without my new furniture. "What did you need?"

"We need to talk with you…"

' _Oh, no… They're gonna send me away…_ ' I stand. "Right behind ya, Spot."

* * *

 **Living Room**

I sit on the metal table while the others sit on the couch, with Hot Spot sitting on a nearby chair, the couch being full of other bots. I'm so sure they're gonna send me away that I'm close to tears already.

"You're probably wondering what's going on right now…" I nod slightly, keeping my eyes on the floor. "With Optimus off-world with the seed, we couldn't check with him before we made our final decision on your status with us." This time I glance up to the Protectobot leader. "With so few bots left on-line, we have decided to bring you into our gestalt bond."

I blink up at him. That wasn't what I was expecting at all. "You-you guys really want me around? Even after everything that happened today?"

Aid grins. "Of course we do."

I blink quickly, trying not to cry. It's not sad tears, though. For the first time in my life, I'm about to cry because I'm _happy_ —because something _good_ happened. "I-I don't know what to say…" Someone picks me up, and I cuddle into the hand, not caring who it is. "I-I guess all I can really say is… Thank you, for not giving up on me…" I look up to find warm red optics watching me. "Then again, I don't think you'd ever give up on anyone…" I run my sleeve over my eyes. "Even so, _thank you_."

"Don't mention it." He sets me on the floor. "Aid's going to teach you about combiners tomorrow. Right now…you need sleep."

I look at the floor before glancing up to Aid. "Um… can I—" Blades gives me a look that clearly says "duh!", causing me to shrug. "I'm tiny and squishy compared to you all. I wasn't sure."

Aid kneels to me. "Hey. I said I'd get you into the cuddle pile."

I can't help but smile as I follow them upstairs. I'm _home_. I watch them with awe—Groove and Streetwise, for some odd reason, just went in search of pillows—I think it's so I won't fall off, but I'm not too sure. I've grabbed my fleece blanket, of course. My stims don't go away just because I've got a new family, but I may not need them as much.

I look up when a hand slips into my line of vision. "Come on." I climb in, and Blades lifts me onto the berth. Once I'm on the berth, I climb onto the blue fire-bot. ' _I wonder if this is how Winky used to feel, climbing all over me…_ ' I shrug before settling by his chin. ' _A gestalt… I'm gonna be a sister to_ Defensor _…_ ' I glance over the others as they get settled, using Hot Spot's chin as protection until they stop moving. Aid's got his hands under his chin—something he'd explained to me when we were looking for furniture—and is curled into one side, almost underneath Spot. Blades is on his side, which I understand, because of my own sensitive back, and the sensitivity in doorwings and rotors, and curled against, and slightly on top, of Spot's other side. The two enforcers are lying across his legs. Following Aid's lead as well as I can with my bad foot, I inch down to where I'm curled between Spot and Aid before finally drifting off with my head beside his hands.


	6. Gestalt Lessons

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Gestalt Lessons

 **The Next Morning**

I stir, bumping my head on something warm and metal. My eyes snap open when I hear a whimper, and I look up. "Aid…" I glance to where I had hit my head. "Oh… Oops." I pat his hand. "Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He shakes his head. "Don't be." He glances at me with a confused look.

I rub the back of my neck. "I just…I don't know why I wound up under your chin. It just felt right."

"You're fine." He smiles. "How did you sleep?"

I grin. "Better than I have since I was little enough to climb in bed with my parents." I shrug at his look. "I absolutely _hate_ to be alone, but I've had to be to protect myself…" I smile as the other bots start moving. "Now I don't have to anymore."

He nods. "I need to get some energon, and you need breakfast."

"Morning."

"Morning, Spot." I finally sit up and stretch. I hadn't wanted to wake the others, after all. "Morning, Guys." I wait for Aid to set me on the ground, then start for my room. "I'm gonna get changed. I'll meet you downstairs, Aid."

"Don't forget, we've got your gestalt lessons as soon as you finish breakfast."

I nod and turn for the door before turning back to give Aid a look. "Would it be safe for me to try some energon?" The five give me a look. "I know it's dangerous to humans, but I'm not completely human."

"After your first transformation, you can. Don't risk it before that." Aid sighs. "And try to stick with low grade until you know how it affects you."

"And no high grade."

I start for my room. "I'll assume that'll be explained in your gestalt lessons."

"Yep."

I pull on a yellow tunic sweater and jeggings, then grab my blue-green coat before pulling on socks and my wedge boots. Once downstairs, I warm up a scrambled eggs and sausage frozen meal, then curl up on Spot's foot to eat, getting strange looks for a moment before they shrug me off, and I finish my breakfast in peace.

I throw the cardboard tray away, then glance up to Aid, who simply nods before following me out to the medical bay.

* * *

"Guess you're having a good day?"

I nod. "Don't have to hide anymore. I don't have to pretend to be a loner so I'll be safe." I smile. "I just am. I won't get punished for having compassion, I…" I look down at the memory.

"You what?"

"I won't have to watch another innocent die because I was too afraid of Aaron to say "No"." I shake my head. "Let's not let Aaron the Abuser ruin what could be a perfect day."

He nods before sitting beside me on the berth. "Gestalts are really simple to understand once you know the basics." He sighs. "I know you've researched our kind. What have you learned so far?"

I rub the back of my neck. "First off, I really hate the 'con ones…" I shudder. "Devastator. Is. _Creepy_."

"Besides that."

"I heard that there's never only _one_ survivor."

He nods. "We usually go all at once." He sighs. "We were separated for several vorns when we were younger. We'd—Wheeljack, Ratchet, and I—really thought they were off-line."

"So you're the exception…"

He sighs. "Determination. It's the only way to survive alone. Even then, I only held on because they'd told me to…"

I squeeze one of his fingers. "It's all right. They're back now."

"I know." He looks down at me. "I knew this wouldn't be easy, Mari, but you need to know what you're getting into." He sighs. "As you mentioned yesterday, there's not much secrets, though I'm able to block more off because of my position as a medic."

"Confidentiality."

"Right." He smiles. "The bonds are a two-way street. They'll be able to sense you, same as you'll be able to sense them. That means pain and illness as well as thoughts and feelings."

"If one gets sick, they all do, right?"

"Yep, and that goes for crashing too." He turns to me. "And don't get me started about what would happen if one of us were to carry…"

I hold up a hand. "Don't." I make a face. "I get the picture, and I'd like to keep my breakfast where it belongs."

"Squeamish?"

"Sort of… Sometimes… It's been a while since I've had to deal with that kind of thing." I look at my hands. "I'm a little nervous about the EMT thing, because I know Chicago's dangerous, which means worse EMS calls, and more…" I shudder, and make a face. "Ugh." I sigh. "I don't know if it's the body fluids, or the patient's pain, that's the worst part." I shrug. "I may be autistic, but not all of them lack empathy—it just slams into them like heavy metal does with a baby."

He looks down at me. "Selfishness would be a survival instinct, not a purposeful act." I blink up at him. "Silverbolt. The day my sensory grid came back on-line… We were sharing quarters, and he had to snap at his brothers to get them to listen."

"Let me guess. Too loud, and you over-reacted."

He nods, smiling slightly. "I ran. Tore out an energon IV line and knocked the stand on top of my brothers… Scared everyone into following me… caused everyone to purge when it got to be too much for _me_ …"

I scoff lightly. "Sounds like _fun_."

"Yeah… It wasn't an _enjoyable_ experience, but it was a _helpful_ one when it came to patients."

"Guess I need to work a little more on strengthening myself against suffering—not to weaken my compassion, but to balance my compassion for patients with my ability to stomach what's wrong with them." I shrug when he gives me a look. "Can't go making the rest of you sick if I can't handle a call."

"We wouldn't blame you if it did happen. Groove, at least, would hold his own either way, and I've handled worse in the med-bay. Street would understand you more, and Spot and Blades are kind of in the middle." He sighs. "Now, how 'bout you try getting to robot form?"

I nod, and slide down his leg before looking up to him from the floor. "How?" I listen closely to his explanation before following them. When I look down, I'm about the same size as Aid, but feminine, with a light pink frame, and doorwings. I look down at my hands, turning them over. They look almost like Ratchet's—silver, with pink fingers instead his green. I smile over at Aid. "Well?"

He steps closer and looks me over. "A Praxian frame… Medic details…" He snags a doorwing, causing me to cringe.

"Ow…"

"I'm sorry." He sighs. "I need to check the sensors. I'm almost done." He smiles at me. "Everything checks out. Want me to take you back inside so you can see it?"

I nod. "And… Could you explain the whole "bond" thing?"

"That…" He rubs the back of his neck. "Would be the awkwardness you were trying to avoid." He sighs. "But there's a certain way to go about it, just like there is when one takes in a minicon, and it won't create a second spark." He sighs. "Then we'd have to figure out where you'd go if we combined." He looks me over again. "Though, with your frame being similar to my own—mine without the doorwings—I'd assume we'd switch out. If I was needed in medical, or we needed to protect you… Either one of us could take the left side."

"So long as I wasn't a foot." I cringe. "Just the thought makes my nerves act up…"

"So _that's_ why you were doing that…" I give him a look. "Your foot. You almost put it under my armor during the night."

I rub the back of my neck. "Sorry…" I shrug. "Though I did warn you about the RSD. I never realized I'd do that in my sleep…"

"RSD*?"

"Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. It's a nerve disorder. I've been coping all right, but… the doctors said it was in my back too…"

He sighs before grabbing a scanner and running it over my back, then scans the rest of me once I sit down. "I'm picking up damaged sensors in your wrists and your foot, but your back was just Praxian sensitivity." I raise an eyebrow. "Simply put, your spine and shoulders were trying to compensate for your missing appendages, and probably have been since you were born."

"That sounds about right."

He nods. "All right, let's get you inside so you can see your frame." I step over to the door only to squint over the mostly cloudy, but still too bright sky. ' _Come on, eyes, not now!_ '

I feel a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?" I shake my head and point to the door before covering my eyes. "Oh!" He closes it before turning to me, slipping his visor off as he does. "Try this."

"But—"

"I'll make you one if it helps. It won't take more than ten minutes."

I shrug before slipping it on, then nod. "Better than my sunglasses were."

"Good." He slips it back on before gathering a few things, and soon hands me an almost identical visor. "Keep it on you. I can't keep taking mine off." He sighs. "Sorry if that sounded rude, but…" He rubs the back of his neck.

I shake my head. "You're fine. I saw how you were squinting when you took it off. You need to keep that on." I shrug. "I've had optical sensitivity for a long time, Aid. Goes along with my own hyper-awareness. I know how it feels."

"What?"

I shrug. "Between ADHD, Asperger's, and PTSD, I'm over-stimulated, and in sensory overload almost constantly…" I rub the back of my neck. "Don't tell Spot."

"Why not?"

I shrug. "Because it's not too bad most of the time, and Spot knows I have sensory issues, and how to tell when it's bad. I don't want you guys thinking you have to tip-toe around me constantly." I sigh softly. "Now that I think about it, that may be why I need cuddles so much…" Aid gives me a look. "I'm comforted by touch, and constantly over-stimulated and stressed from the overload of detail and information. I've had to use music in the past, and I still pick up too much to be good for me. Little details about cartoon characters that mean absolutely nothing in the whole scheme of things, and I can't get them out of my mind!" I sigh softly. "Like Wave's eyes in _Today and Forever_ , or Robin's vest in _Performance_ … A flower pattern in tulle… Alvin's thumb in AATC…" I shake my head. "How does Street do it?" Aid gives me a confused look. "How does Streets stay so hyper-aware without being so stressed out?"

"You'd have to ask him."

* * *

We step inside together. "You two almost look like twins."

"Hi, Streets." I glance over to see everyone in the living room. "Hey, guys…no work today?"

Hot Spot shakes his head before stepping over to us. "Is she ready, or…"

I smile. "As I'll ever be…" I sigh. "Can I find a mirror first, though?"

* * *

I turn to one side. "Wow…"

"You like it?"

Now that I can see myself, I can see more of what my head looks like. I have a red chevron, and red details on my sides, which I hadn't noticed out in the medical bay. The visor blends great—which is both good, and hard to believe—I didn't know Aid had the right colors in the medbay to match my frame when I just reached it today. "Better than I imagined…" I shift, trying to get a better view of my doorwings. "Definitely better than what I'd imagined." I'd been picturing something like Sari Sumdac on TFA, not my being the same size and frame type as Aid, with doorwings and a chevron being the only differences.

"Spot went back down to get the others. We're ready when you are."

I nod. "Looking forward to training with you, and my EMS class…" I sigh softly. "Maybe target practice, so long as it's only wood or metal, or hay…"

"You don't want to fight?"

I turn to the medic. "I love guns, so long as they're not pointing at a living being, or something mimicking life. It's the shoot-to-kill part of fighting I don't like." I rub the back of my neck. "But I have to be ready, in case you're in danger. I have to be able to fight _back_." I sigh softly. "I'm a lover, Aid, _not_ a fighter; but I'll _fight_ for what I _love_ , and I love _you guys_. If you're ever in any danger, don't doubt that I'd shoot that gun, if _only_ to get you to safety." I rub the back of my neck. "Not sure I'd be able to walk away without trying to save the person after, though…" I sigh. "Wow, this is an upsetting topic."

He nods. "Let's go find Spot before you get yourself worked up." I give him a look. "It'll be easier and safer if you're not near a meltdown."

"Ah…" I nod. "Awkward enough if I'm _not_ in tears."

He sighs. "And just plain _sad_ if you are."

* * *

We step back into the largest berth room before stepping over to Hot Spot. I look up to him—he's still taller than me, but not as much as he had been—and nod. "Let's do this."

Aid sits beside me. "I'm right here. I'll talk you through it…"

"Aid… I-I—"

He sighs softly before putting an arm around me. "It's a deep merge, but we know what we're doing. We won't hurt you."

"I-I'm not scared you'll hurt me… I'm just…" I sigh softly. "I've never—" I shake my head. "I guess I'm just nervous. I know it can't be undone, if things don't work out…"

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and look up to find Spot smiling down at me. "We wouldn't have gone through with all this if we thought it wouldn't work out." He sits beside me. "We don't have to do it now, if you're not ready."

"I want to…really…" I sigh heavily. "It's just… I know that a Cybertronian's spark is their very soul, and… I'm still a little unsure about this "merging" thing. I know it's not—that you're not going to do anything to hurt me, but…"

Aid sighs softly. "Want me to walk you through it?"

I blink slightly. "Could you?"

He nods. "We'll have you open your chest plating, then, one at a time, we'll merge. Spot would start, since he's the oldest, and our commander. Then Groove, then Street, then me, and Blades last. It should take anywhere from five to ten minutes each." He squeezes my hand lightly. "Combiners have the strongest sibling bonds possible, so it'll be intense, but I promise, we won't hurt you."

"Feel better about it now, or do you want to wait?"

I sigh, and shake my head. "I'm ready now…"

* * *

 **Half an Hour Later**

I sit on the edge of the bed and rest a hand over my now-closed plating. Silence isn't so… silent, now. ' _I wonder if this is how Mako felt…_ '

~Who's Mako?~

~ _Sorry. I was just thinking…_ ~ I smile at him. ~ _She's a character in Pacific Rim. She had her first drift during the movie, and it's like… Well, like_ this _._ ~

~ **Do you still have the movie?** ~

~ _It's with my things, so it'll be here sometime today or tomorrow. I'll play it for you then…_ ~ I blink. ~ _Well, maybe not Aid. A lot of death…and a lot of trauma._ ~

~ _I can handle it. It's just a movie._ ~

~ _Aid,_ I _couldn't handle it one time._ ~

~ _ **What part upset you?**_ ~

~ _Their first drift together—Raleigh's ghost drifts pulled him out of phase, then Mako got caught in a memory, and almost shot Cherno's pilots with a—_ ~

~ _ **Mari?**_ ~

~ _I'm fine. With a plasma cannon. It reminded me of my Transformers movies, which made me think of Megatron, which reminded me of Optimus dying, then Ratchet saving him, then Lockdown…_ ~

~ _Sounds like you got caught in one too…_ ~

I shrug. ~ _Several, actually. I'm just glad I can pull myself out of it if I have my music._ ~

~ **You keep it with you, right?** ~

~ _It's on my phone, Groove. I never leave home without it._ ~ I sigh heavily. ~ _But it dies on me sometimes, so I'm kind of sunk then._ ~ I rub the back of my neck. ~ _And I hate crowds, so it's kind of lose-lose then…_ ~

~ _ **If that happens, we'll be here.**_ ~

I smile up at him. ~ _Thanks, Spot._ ~ I suddenly grin. ~ _Hey. This will help when I have my non-verbal moments._ ~

~ _Excuse me?_ ~

~ _It's not that I can't talk then, but that I don't want to. If I'm really upset, or tired, or Ratchet-level cranky, I won't feel like talking. If I'm forced to, then we have a problem._ ~ I shrug. ~ _This bond, will help. I can talk about what's upsetting me without needing to talk._ ~

~ _ **Then we'll be here when you need us.**_ ~

~Anything else we'll need to know?~

I nod as we start down the stairs. ~ _I get carsick sometimes._ ~ I shrug at their looks. ~ _It's a sensory issue, guys. I can't help it. Usually, it's because I'm doing too much, or thinking too much, while I'm riding. I could take something, but it causes drowsiness, and that may affect the rest of you._ ~

~I'd rather be tired than nauseous.~

~Nauseated _, not nauseous, and same here._ ~

~ _ **What?**_ ~

~ _Nauseated means you're about to purge, nauseous means you'll make someone else purge._ ~ I shrug. ~ _Same diff in a gestalt, but…_ ~

~ _ **You're worse than Street!**_ ~

~ _I am not!_ ~ I cross my arms and glare at Blades. ~ _Just because I know things, and like to show it off, doesn't mean I'm as "bad" as someone else._ ~ I shrug. ~ _I just love facts._ ~

~Good to know. Maybe you could—~

~ _I'd gladly help any of you with anything._ ~ I smile. ~ _I've got a lot of information on my computer, Street, and I'm always looking for more because of my stories. How-to pages… Movie and TV show information… Stuff about my condition and other issues…_ ~ I grin. ~ _Even Cybertron and her people._ ~

~ _What about that rescue show you were telling Spot and I about?_ ~

I smile. ~ _Yep! Character bios and everything._ ~ I scowl suddenly. ~ _I hate High Tide!_ ~

~ _ **Who?**_ ~

~ **And what, while we're asking?** ~

~ _Rescue Bots, one of my favorite Transformers TV series. They're based off you all, without the combining, and…_ ~ I sigh heavily. ~ _God, I miss it…_ ~ I shake my head. ~ _And High Tide's one of the later additions. He came in at a time when they really needed a "mega-bot"._ ~

~ _ **A what?**_ ~

~ _A bot the size of Defensor. He came for water rescue training, and ultimately helped them re-cap an oil well when an undersea earthquake caused the old cap to break off. Primus, that mech was so—_ ~ I growl. ~ _Frustrating! I hated that guy!_ ~

~What about the others?~

I grin in Blades' general direction. I can't help it. ~ _Heatwave—a fire-bot and the leader, Chase—he's an enforcer, and kind of like Prowl, as well as being the closest thing they have to a Second in Command. Boulder—he's a bulldozer, and he loves everything about Earth._ ~ I smirk. ~ _And Blades…_ ~ I stare off in the distance, thoughtfully. ~ _That mech put him on my overall favorites list for good. Primus… They're so different…_ ~

~ _ **How?**_ ~

~ _Not a brawler, for starters. He's timid half the time, a hotshot when he's not, and always as caring as Aid._ ~ I sigh softly. ~ _I could probably count on one hand the reckless things he's done…_ ~

~ _ **Well?**_ ~

~ _There was the shark sub he carried out to sea and got hooked on his winch… Going to blow up a meteor with Bumblebee when it had been proven that a virus-causing toxin was on it… Flying through ash after helping erupt a fake volcano, just because Cody was in danger… Grabbing a boulder the size of a house with a scoop claw before testing the thing…_ ~ I blink. ~ _Those were just in season one. Holy cow._ ~

~ _ **After that?**_ ~

I shrug. ~ _Got jealous of Dani, had a few hotshot moments, nothing really reckless._ ~ I rub the back of my neck. ~ _Used his rotors as a snow blower in season three…_ ~

~ _What happened with the meteor?_ ~

~ _He and Bee contracted the virus, of course. Bee had gotten a sample, Graham used their tech and found the cure on the Sigma. All was well that ended well._ ~ I sigh softly. ~ _Three of them wound up shrunk once, and Chase seemed kind of lost, but they never showed why he would._ ~ I quiet down for a moment. "God, I miss that series…"

"Why?"

I glance over to Blades. "Because, they're on hiatus. I still haven't been able to learn when it's gonna start back up again, but I really wanna see it again."

* * *

* Also known as CRPS, or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome…


	7. Trauma Revealed

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Trauma Revealed

"So…" I rub my arm. "What's next for the day?" All I get is five rather uncoordinated shrugs, which is odd considering they're a gestalt. "We could go see the other bots…" I sigh at the blank stares. They look bored. "Or, Aid and I could check on Brains." I sigh before leaning against the wall. "I don't know about you five, but I hate it when there's nothing to do. I don't have Rescue Bots, I don't have my movies, and I'm too keyed up to be able to focus on my writing. I'd look over my EMS book, but _guess what I left behind_?" I'd just realized my mistake the night before, while I was waiting for Defensor to get done discussing my status. I sigh. I'm starting to work myself up, and they don't need that—I don't need to push my frustration, which is nearing meltdown level, onto the others, but I don't know how to block them off yet. "I'll just…" I shake my head. "I don't know!" I look around. Nothing to clean. ' _Great. I'm actually bored enough to_ want _to clean. That's never happened before._ '

~ _ **Bored enough to**_ **what** _ **?**_ ~

~ _Sorry…_ ~

~ _Don't be._ ~ Aid sighs. ~ _I have to start medical exams on Bee and his team in an hour, if you want to help…_ ~ He smiles. ~ _It could be good help with learning our anatomy, and you'd be getting some hands-on training, too._ ~

I shrug. Medical training's actually pretty important, even though I'd never out-right ask him for it. ~ _I'd definitely learn where_ not _to shoot…_ ~

~ _ **That's…not really a good thing to say to Aid…**_ ~

~ _We've been talking about my hatred of killing since yesterday, Spot. It's just…_ ~ I sigh. ~ _I know I'll need to learn to shoot, maybe even to kill, but I don't want to. maybe medical training—which I do really want—will help me learn what places to not aim for, and where to aim to stop them, but not kill them._ ~

~ **I understand what she means, Spot. I had to fight because Aid didn't want to.** ~

~ _And I have to fight._ ~ I sigh heavily, my grief leaking over the bond no matter how hard I try to hold it back. ~ _I had to watch Ratchet die—maybe on film, but I_ watched _it_ _happen. I'm not proud of the way I felt, or how I still think, when it comes to Lockdown, but for the first time in my life, I wanted to kill someone. I hated that feeling, but I hated the mech, too. Hating someone is killing them in your heart. I can't do that—I_ won't _do that._ ~ I look up at them, feeling like tears are about to spill over. ~ _I can't bring myself to kill, but I can't bring myself to forgive._ ~ I sigh softly. ~ _I have to fight, if for nothing else, then for Ratchet's legacy—for_ Ratchet _. He was a combat medic—something I've wanted for the last two years—something he_ inspired _me to do._ ~ I wipe the tears off my face before turning away. ~ _I never got to know him—not like Aid has—and I regret that. I regret not having the courage to run earlier—that I never took the time to find you guys before. Maybe I'd have been able to save him if I had…and maybe not…but at least I could have tried. I regret not being there for him…_ ~

I feel strong hands pulling me close, before the others crowd around me, watching out for my doorwings. ~ _ **Don't.**_ ~

~ _ **Didn't that show you watched say anything about that?**_ ~

I nod. ~ _To paraphrase, we're here now, and we're gonna make a difference._ ~ I sigh. ~ _Blades said that they hadn't been there to save Cybertron, so they wouldn't let the Burns lose their home._ ~

~See? You're here now. That's all that matters.~

~ **And we'll do whatever we can to help you.** ~

~ _Even if you try to push us away. You're a part of us now. We're not letting you hurt._ ~

I sigh. ~ _Aid…_ ~ I shake my head. ~ _I was forced to feed seven newborn and orphaned rabbits to a cat because my birthdad didn't approve of my wanting to save them. Dad bought me ducks, but they weren't the same, and…_ ~ I sigh. ~ _Coyotes got them. I went out to find them, armed, but I couldn't see well enough. They ate my ducks…and a cat ate my newborn bunnies that I'd only taken with me because I couldn't just…abandon them. They were so tiny, and one was hurt, and they were so soft, and fit in my hand, and I couldn't just let them die!_ ~ A sob suddenly breaks out, and I burry my face deeper into what I think is Hot Spot. I'm too upset to care, and the bonds are too new to tell the difference. ~ _I called number after number, then took them to the humane society, but they couldn't take rabbits, so I took them to the sheriff, but he told me to go to Mishawaka, and I couldn't drive on the highway in my Tink, and Briar was gonna take me, but Aaron met me at home, and cussed me out for caring, and not being able to leave innocents to die! Oh, God, Aid! I can't go through that again! They were just babies! Just newborn babies! Innocents!_ ~ By now, I'm a sobbing mess, for the second time in two days. I don't know if I'm working myself up, or if it's just the stress of running away from my birthdad that's made me unable to keep it together.

~ _ **Easy. We're not going to make you kill anything if you don't want to. Aid was the same way with the training drones.**_ ~

~ _I need to learn, though…_ ~

~ _ **Not if it'll upset you like this—**_ ~

I feel a familiar hand on my doorwings. Only one mech has touched them so far, so it's not hard to know who it is. ~ _I'm getting the same stress readings from her that I saw in my records, Spot…_ ~ He sighs. ~ _From the drone…_ ~

~ **How is she even still standing?** ~

~ _ **I'm holding her up, first off.**_ ~ He shakes his head. ~ _ **I think she might be going into shock.**_ ~ He shifts. ~ _ **Emotional shock, not medical shock.**_ ~

~ _She's already got PTSD, Spot. Emotional shock is a precursor._ ~

~ _ **That slagger deserves to rot in the pit for this!**_ ~

~ _BLADES!_ ~

~ _ **Well he does!**_ ~

~ **Neither of you are helping the situation.** ~

~Aid, get a sedative. We may need it. Spot, get her to the couch, but don't let her go. Groove, go find that blanket she had last night. It may calm her down.~ A new hand rests on my doorwings, but it's no less gentle. ~We're right here.~

Hot Spot sighs over the bond. ~ _ **We could combine with her, but I'm not sure how she'd react to that. We'd combined with Aid when he did this, but…**_ ~

~ _Anything's better than having to sedate her, Spot…_ ~

~ _ **We'd have to take her outside. It's not big enough in here.**_ ~

~ _She needs to feel us._ ~

~ **You wouldn't be connected if she is, though.** ~

~ _We wouldn't be anyway. We'll have to do our sibling bonding in the medical bay, or during her classes. We get along better than anyone but the two of you anyway, Spot, and that's because she loves fire trucks._ ~

~ _ **Excuse me?**_ ~

~ _When she first met us, she trusted you, and me, but not the others. Me because I was the one to comfort her, and you because she feels safe around fire trucks. She used to sit on one during her training before, when she'd need to study, or think about something. She felt safe there, and she feels the same thing when she's around you._ ~ He sighs over the bond. ~ _She'd taught herself not to trust red-eyed mechs or femmes because of the cons, and you've got red optics._ ~

~ _ **I know, Aid.**_ ~ He sighs. ~ _ **Groove, Blades, Street: come outside.**_ ~

~We're going to form up?~

~ _ **She needs it.**_ ~

' _They-they really care… They really love me…_ '

* * *

 **Outside**

I notice the temperature change with my doorwings, but otherwise don't acknowledge that we're no longer inside. While unable to communicate through this Aaron-based trauma _fiasco_ , I can still hear and sense everything around me.

"Protectobots, form Defensor!"

I feel Aid's hand on my doorwing. I guess he noticed it helps me focus. " _We did it by instinct the first time. You may be able to, too. It's not hard, but it may be confusing at first._ "

It's like my spark and frame know what to do, even when I don't, and soon, I realize I'm in Aid's spot—not that I'd really ever seen him there in person. ' _Wow…_ ' I sigh when I don't get a response, but don't try to move from where I'm snuggled against their—our—spark. I guess they did the same for Aid when he'd been traumatized after "killing" a drone. ' _Wait a minute…_ ' I seek out the bonds. ~ _Wow…_ ~

~ _ **You okay?**_ ~

~ _I will be._ ~ I sigh over the bond. ~ _Sorry about losing it like that on you…over baby_ rabbits _no less. I feel so silly…_ ~

~It obviously left you traumatized, or you wouldn't have reacted like this.~

~ _ **When did he do that?**_ ~

~ _Be a year in March. Living wasn't safe then, and caring was down-right deadly for what I cared about. I am sorry about losing it on all of you. It started out as a good day…_ ~

~ **You're fine, Mari. We're not upset. Aid's easily traumatized over senseless killings too.** ~ We shift back to our normal forms. ~ **We've done that for him too. Don't feel bad about needing that closeness.** ~ Groove lays a hand on my arm.

Blades glares at something behind me. I know he's more mad about what happened—the why behind it—than he is at me for needing this. It's not my fault I'm traumatized. I didn't ask to be abused and neglected. ~ _ **Didn't anyone comfort you after he killed them?**_ ~

I shake my head. ~ _Where Aaron's involved, I never get comforted. It's a crime to comfort the one who does such a heinous crime as having compassion on an animal and arguing with a human._ ~ I scoff. ~ _I argue with the animal too, when it makes me mad—I argue with my computer for spark's sake! I was just too worried about the bunnies to get angry, and my compassion wouldn't let me leave them behind. When Aaron found out I'd had the heart to save them, he cussed me out, then fed them to the cat he stole from me._ ~

~ _So that's the first time anyone's comforted you over their murder._ ~

I nod. ~ _They say_ mercy killing _, I say_ murder _. All I needed to save them was a ride to Mishawaka, and Briar was gonna drive me. Instead, they got fed to a cat because I couldn't fight my abuser. I was helpless to fight, and those babies paid for it with their lives. I can't let that happen again, Aid. I_ won't _let that happen again._ ~

~ **Technical pacifist?** ~

~ _Wish it was actual like Aid…_ ~ I nod. ~ _But yeah. Maim, not kill, and I'd prefer not to maim either._ ~ I rub the back of my neck. ~ _More like a Trigger Happy Technical Pacifist. I can talk the talk, but I can't walk the walk._ ~

~ _ **What?**_ ~

~ _I talk like you and Hide, but I act like Aid and Groove. I can talk a blue streak about wanting to end someone for the way I've been treated, or how someone else is being wronged, but I can't actually carry out my thoughts._ ~ I sigh. ~ _Like… I wanted to kill Lockdown for what he did to Ratchet. I wanted to hurt Drift for being over Lockdown. I even wanted to hit Aaron with a bus when Bobby brought it up in an interview._ ~ I giggle over that. ~ _But killing Lockdown is moot, even if I still wanted to, Drift has been forgiven, and hitting Aaron with a bus would get me imprisoned._ ~ I shrug. ~ _Besides, it wouldn't do any good anyway… He'd be fixed up in the hospital and be right back to abusing me in a few months._ ~

~ _So no running anyone over with a bus._ ~

~ _No bus-based murders…or attempted murders. That's not me anyway, that's Blades._ ~

~ _ **Hey! You brought it up!**_ ~

~ _As an example._ ~ I sigh. ~ _If I didn't have the spark to shoot the fiend when he tried to kill my bunny babies last year, then I wouldn't have had the spark to hit the miss-clock with a bus._ ~

~Good point.~

~ _Can we get off the topic of organic murder please?_ ~

~ _Sorry, Aid…_ ~

~ _You're fine. I think Blades is getting ideas, though._ ~

~ _ **The half-clock traumatized my sister! What am I supposed to do!?**_ ~

~ _Be the bigger mech and let it go. I wish I could, as a matter of fact._ ~

~You will someday, with our help.~

~ _Thanks, Street…_ ~ I cuddle into him. ~ _I wish I'd met you guys two years ago. I might not be traumatized now._ ~

~ _ **Maybe it's better this way.**_ ~

~ _What?_ ~

~ _ **We almost lost Aid in our first battle. We weren't even supposed to be in the field yet, but we ran in when Ratchet got hurt.**_ ~ I give him a look. ~ _ **We wouldn't have found your car last week if you hadn't run. I doubt you would have run if you hadn't been traumatized.**_ ~

I nod. ~ _Why run if everything's fine?_ ~ I sigh. ~ _Fine is pushing it, but… Why run if I was able to tolerate being on the same property as the man who hurt me so many times, and was allowed to because my compassion was seen as weakness? Why run if his identical-in-personality-son wasn't mistreating me as well? Why run if my Dad wasn't being forced to retire, leaving me with too much work on top of the stress of the two, my negligent birthmom, and insistent neighbors who want me to babysit for free? Why run if it wasn't my very last option?_ ~

~Last option?~

~ _Take all of the above, and add to it that Aaron and Stacy kept mooching off Dad, that Briar still lives at home and eats him out of house and home, and that I'm too damaged, between my neurodevelopmental disability and my post-traumatic stress, to_ get _a job, much less_ keep _one._ ~ I sigh. ~ _Oh, and that no one realized how objective I am about the abuse I've suffered. My attention to detail means I tell it like it actually happened, complete with 100% true details, not how Aaron_ thinks _it happened, or his lies to disguise his abuse._ ~

~ _ **You came to us in your lowest point, and you needed us, more than even**_ **I** _ **was willing to admit at the time.**_ ~

~ _And I've opened up to my greatest change. Life's better now._ ~

~Excuse me?~

~ _Legend of Korra quote, from Aang. He's a pacifist too. He said: "When you reach your lowest point, you are open to the greatest change". I'd reached my lowest point, when I met you, and I opened myself to the greatest change any human could—I became a part of Defensor today._ ~ I sigh softly. ~ _The healing has begun. I just hope it keeps on going like this._ ~

~ _All you needed was the love a family brings._ ~

~ _ **And we'll always be here for you, no matter where you are.**_ ~

I can't help but smile. "You guys are the best."

" _ **Excuse me? What's going on over here?**_ "

We look over to see Bumblebee a few feet away. Blades sighs. "What?"

" _ **I thought I saw Defensor with a pink arm a few minutes ago.**_ " He points to me. " _ **She's pink, but last I checked, she wasn't a Protectobot.**_ "

"I am now, Bee. They added me a couple hours ago." I rub the back of my neck. "I got re-traumatized over a bad memory, and they did that to snap me out of the mute rut I fell into."

Spot sounds almost spark-broken. "She wouldn't even talk with us over the bond, Bee. Last time that happened with one of my gestalt, Aid got hit with the disrupter cannon and had his bond blocked. I could barely sense her, and she's new to this. She doesn't know how to close herself off like Aid does, and humans don't have medic programing like we do."

I pat his arm. "Easy, Spot. It's all right. I do that sometimes, when I get really upset, but I don't know why. It may be part of my Asperger's, or it may be a defense mechanism, I don't know, but I couldn't tell you why I do it. I could hear all of you, but I just couldn't answer. Quiet was a good way to hide, back home, to the point that I'm terrified of it now." I hug him. "You guys proved that you really love me—not fake, I-love-you-cause-you-do-things-for-me love like I get from my birthparents, the I-love-you-but-I'm-too-scared-to-do-what's-necessary-to-make-you-feel-safe that I get from Dad, or even the I-love-you-when-it-works-in-my-favor that I get from the rest of my human family. It's real, honest-to-goodness, unconditional, sibling love, and I've never had that before. I've felt it, for my family, but it hasn't been shown to me." I sigh. ~ _Leaving home, was the hardest thing, I've ever had to do, but I found something better than all the money in the_ world _could buy. Family._ ~

Aid sighs. "I'm taking her into the medical bay so we can get started on the yearly exams. She's going to need an overview before we can start seeing patients."

"Then we'll fix Brains, then start working to repair and revive Ratch." I smile. "After that, we'll get to work on everyone else."

" _I'll_ start repairing Ratchet. You don't need to see him off-line again. We don't need shared nightmares through the bonds."

"I'll be fine, Aid." I smile. "I don't have nightmares when I'm not alone. I'll have all of you." I shrug. "You're calm all day, so you revisit the worst parts of the day in recharge. I react right away, so it doesn't usually leave me scarred—so unless anyone we're dealing with is named Aaron or Lockdown, I'll be fine, and Lockdown's probably still in Hong Kong, we only have Autobots here, and Aaron's still in Indiana." I cross my arms. "Besides, I need to learn to use my fire, and what better way than repairing and reviving?"

He smiles as we step into the medical bay. "I just had to be sure. You did have a pretty bad reaction to that memory."

"I'll survive, Aid." I smile. "I have something to live for now, where I didn't before." He gives me a nervous look. "Even then, the closest thing I had to a _plan_ was "run to Chicago and either get shot on the streets by a gang or freeze to death before morning", and you five prevented that." I smile. " _You_ prevented that. I owe you my life."

"Just don't let it end too soon, Little Sis. That's all I ask."

I hug him quickly before turning to skim through the English translation of the Cybertronian medical text he'd handed me when we walked in. "Don't worry. I'm not _depressed_ , just _traumatized_. I wanted out, and it was the only way back then." Wow. Eight _days_ is "back then" now. "Now I have a family who loves me, no matter how I act, and gives me the closeness I've craved since Mam died." Now that we've got the gestalt bond, they're gonna find out about how close I was to my now-dead legal grandmother, so it's no use to hide it anymore. "You guys may have truly saved my life, Aid. _Thank you_."

* * *

 **That Night, Berth Room**

I cuddle into Spot, smiling even though I feel close to tears. It doesn't take long for them to spill over.

~ _ **What's wrong?**_ ~

I shake my head and try to wrap my arms around the entire group at one time. ~ _I…I finally feel whole again… I finally feel like myself again, after thirteen years…_ ~

Aid wraps his arms around me. ~ _I've been there…_ ~

~ **We all have…** ~

~ _I was so afraid I was dreaming…that they'd be gone again when I woke, if I let myself recharge…_ ~

~ _I don't want it to just be a dream…_ ~

~ _ **We're not going anywhere. Recharge. We'll be here when you wake up.**_ ~

~We promise.~

~ _Till the end of time, just like they are for me…_ ~

~ _"I'll always be here for you. You can always find me in the Drift."_ ~ I start crying even harder, but smiling at the same time. We'd just gotten done watching the movie, all curled up together on the couch—Aid and I both sitting on Spot, with the others on either side. ~ _It's from Pacific Rim…_ ~

~ **We remember…** ~

~ _You can always find us in the bond, Mari._ ~

~ _ **Except we're alive. Stacker's dead.**_ ~

I can't help but giggle at that, even while crying. ~ _Just don't die… I couldn't handle that._ ~

~ _ **Silver said it eons ago, Mari. If we go, we'll all go together. We wouldn't let you go alone.**_ ~

~You've had a long day. We're not leaving you.~

~ _Thanks, but—_ ~

A white-silver, almost pearlescent hand slips into my darker one before squeezing it lightly. ~ _I won't let you go, if that's what you need._ ~

~ _But Aid…Your hand'll get smooshed…_ ~

~ _I can handle it. I've done it before._ ~

~ _Thanks…_ ~ I smile. ~ _Then I won't let go either._ ~ I shift onto my back and sigh softly before starting to sing.

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

If you can't cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let go

~ **You know that song?** ~

~ _ **Obviously…**_ ~

~ _It's one of my favorites. I…didn't know you guys listened to country music—or any Earth music, for that matter._ ~

~ **We'd sing sometimes, back when we were considered sparklings.** ~

~Spot's always off-key, though.~

~ _Definitely know what that's like… I don't do it much anymore, though—unless I don't know a song well enough…_ ~ I sigh softly before "singing" through the bond. It's weird—a good weird—to be able to think a song to its tune, and have someone else hear it. ~ _It's like a storm/That cuts a path/It breaks your will/It feels like that…_ ~

Except they don't _just_ hear it—they join in. ~ You think you're lost/But you're not lost, on your own/You're not alone…~

~ **I will stand by you/I will help you through/When you've done all you can do/If you can't cope/I will dry your eyes/I will fight your fight/I will hold you tight/And I won't let go…** ~

~ _It hurts my heart/To see you cry/I know it's dark/This part of life/Oh it finds us all/And we're too small/To stop the rain/Oh but when it rains…_ ~

~ _I will stand by you/I will help you through/When you've done all you can do/And you can't cope/I will dry your eyes/I will fight your fight/I will hold you tight…_ ~

~ _ **And I won't let you fall/Don't be afraid to fall/I'm right here to catch you/I won't let you down/It won't get you down/You're gonna make it/Yeah, I know you can make it…**_ ~

' _That actually wasn't too bad…_ '

~ _ **Cause I will stand by you/I will help you through/When you've done all you can do/And you can't cope/And I will dry your eyes/I will fight your fight/I will hold you tight/And I won't let go…**_ ~

I smile as I shift off my doorwings, and cuddle into Spot again. ~ _Oh I'm gonna hold you/And I won't let go/Won't let you go/No I won't…_ ~

Aid slips his hand back into mine. ~ _We mean it, too. We'll keep you safe._ ~

~ _I know… Mam used to say I was her princess, when I thought I'd never be anything, and then she was gone, and I was alone…_ ~

~ _ **You're not alone anymore.**_ ~

~ _ **And even if someone tried to hurt you, they wouldn't get to you without going through us first.**_ ~

~ _Spot's not_ that _bad, Street… I've been worse than that before._ ~

~That was the best we've heard…~

~ _ **Come on, you guys!**_ ~

~ _Yeah! Be nice to the big guy!_ ~ I nuzzle into him. ~ _I've only been singing again for the last five years, anyway… I still have off-key days._ ~

~ _ **Days?**_ ~

~ _Bout with pneumonia two and a half years ago, and trying to sing through it. I'd been the best soprano in the church choir—the only one at one point—and it took me a year to get my voice back well enough to sing in church. I still have bad days…_ ~ I smile slightly. ~ _But I'm all right—not many medical issues…Exercise-induced asthma and the dizzy spells I mentioned are about it—that, and my RSD and autism…_ ~

~ _You—_ ~

~ _I have an inhaler that I take when I leave the house. I don't take unnecessary risks, Aid. It's only bad when I run too much… I get a cough when I get nervous, but it's connected._ ~

~ _ **Just…don't keep it from us?**_ ~

~ _I'll keep an optic on her, Spot._ ~

~ _And I'll let you in. It may take a while—and I don't like people to see me cry—but I'll get there, Spot. Hiding was a defense mechanism. I'll get used to having a caring family, but it may take a little while._ ~

~ _ **I'll try to be patient…**_ ~

~ _He have a problem with that?_ ~

~Not really…~

~ _He's not as patient as I am, but he won't push you. If you need time, you'll get it…_ ~ Aid sighs. ~ _But don't hide it if you're hurting, or if you've been hurt. I really upset him doing that…_ ~

~ _I won't…_ ~ I sigh softly. ~ _I need cuddles if I'm hurt, Aid… Just…don't touch my left foot. I'll faint, and so would you._ ~


	8. Finally Moved In

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Finally Moved In

 **The next day, morning**

I shift out of the rather-comfortable cuddle pile, still in my bot-form, and trying my hardest to not wake the others. ' _Speaking of the others…_ ' I glance over them. They're all still out, but it is still early—early for me anymore, anyway, but they'd been called in on an emergency at three in the morning—I'd barely woken up when they'd left, and, though I'd been on top—wow, that sounds dirty—the night before, I wound up underneath everyone this morning, which made my doorwings hurt… ' _Ow…_ ' I shift my doorwings slightly as I start down the stairs. ' _Maybe Aid can do something—when he gets up, because I'm_ definitively _not waking him right now._ ' I check my watch and sigh. ' _Six in the morning… Damn. My delivery won't be here 'til ten, and the moving truck is supposed to be here at eight._ '

"Hey."

I glance down, then shift back to my human form for the first time since yesterday—I feel safer as a bot, but I need to get used to being safe as a human unless I wanna work for EMS as an ambulance—which I don't. I kneel before running my hand through what looks like glowing blue hair. "Hey, Little Guy. What's wrong?"

He doesn't have the weird and creepy brain connection headband on anymore, but we're still working on his leg—I may have an affinity for medicine, but that hasn't clicked with Cybertronian anatomy yet, which means Aid's having to rebuild his leg on his own. Because of that, Aid and I brought him inside with us, so we could help him. "Just tryin' ta get some energon."

I nod, then hand him some out of what I had grabbed to try myself—Low Grade, as Aid had told me—which wound up sitting in front of me when I returned to human form. "Just ask one of us next time, Brains." I sigh, deciding not to stay in human form so early—I hate it now, after all—and shift back into my bot-form. I help him onto their couch before sitting beside him with my cube. "Guess Wheelie didn't make it…"

"Haven't seen him."

"Me neither, and we've got the frames from KSI, which means if he is alive, he's still running around Chicago." I smile. I like that idea better than the Wheelie's-dead-and-still-under-the-Chicago-river one.

"And if he's not?"

"Then we'll— _I'll_ —go under the river to get him, and we'll bring him back. I know he's your friend, and he could be a great symbiote…" I run a hand over his head. "Just like you could…"

"Shockwave only wanted something living to get intel, and…" He sighs. "Soundwave told Wheelie he'd make him one of his if he succeeded at getting the shard."

"And he didn't, so he didn't get the position." I smile. "He did something better, anyway. He changed sides, which was very brave of him."

The minicon beside me sighs. "You going anywhere today?"

I shake my head. "Sorry, Buddy. If I do, it won't be 'til after my deliveries get here, and then I've got too much to do…" I sigh softly. "And I really need to get some work done on my stories before I wind up being a _non-functioning_ Protectobot." I sigh softly. "Or, more honestly, one who functions like a child." I sigh softly. "I wish we could re-make it sometime, so I didn't have to be in human form to use it, but that would be weird, and I wouldn't have it for my class, or when we're out." I lean back against the couch.

~ _Mari?_ ~

I laugh softly. "Well, Aid's up, and I think a little scared…" I sigh. ~ _I'm fine, Guys. I'm downstairs with Brains._ ~

~ _You're sure?_ ~

I sigh softly. No, I'm not sure, because my doorwings still hurt, even against the couch, but I don't want them to feel bad. Still, I can't lie because of my Asperger's. ~ _Alive…_ ~

~ _ **You're not**_ **fine** _ **.**_ ~

I sigh over the bond. ~ _You kinda…lay on my doorwings, but I'll live. Aid said they were more sensitive than Prowl's when I told him about it. It's not your fault, I should have moved._ ~

~You were recharging. We shouldn't have laid on you.~

~ _Lain, not laid, and I'll survive. Briar always poked me in the back, anyway. I'm used to hurting there. Honest._ ~

~ _ **You shouldn't be. We know better.**_ ~

I blink. He sounds like the one off Rescue Bots now. ~ _I'm fine, Big Guy. I don't blame any of you, and I'll be fine in a few hours. You'll just have to be more careful, because I can't protect them like Aid can his hands._ ~

I feel a hand on my shoulder. ~ _At least you're better at telling us when you're hurting than I am._ ~

I shrug. ~ _Asperger's. Lying's hard for people with my condition, and I prefer not to. I've only lied about one thing that I can remember…_ ~ I glance down to my left foot. ~ _And that because I knew it was stupid before I did it, but I did it anyway, and I didn't need them adding insult to injury. That reminds me—never hop up stairs on one foot when you're lost in thought. It will_ not _end well…_ ~ I sigh. ~ _That's how I initially broke my foot. The nerve damage came from Aaron._ ~ I sigh over the bond. ~ _Also from the human voice of experience: don't catch yourself with your hands when your feet slide out from under you, and never drop a fully cooked TV dinner if it's got something that was just boiling inside._ ~

~ _ **Excuse me?**_ ~

~ _My wrists, and my foot. The first story is how I broke my foot, the other two were my wrists. I have RSD in my right hand from a second degree burn after dropping a TV dinner and scalding myself on formerly-boiling liquid from the corn. When that hand was in a brace from possible nerve damage—I hadn't had a real scan on them until Aid got to it yesterday morning—I was at a college dance, in a dance studio with really slick floors, and my feet slid out from under me. I tried to catch myself, and I wound up hurting my other wrist. I keep braces upstairs for them, but they're not bugging me right now._ ~

~ _ **Good to know. Just…don't try to keep anything from us. We won't get upset like your old family would.**_ ~

~ _I don't want_ you guys _upset over my past, first off, and I don't want you guys feeling guilty if you hurt me accidentally. I don't blame you for anything. Compared to my old family, even being used as a bed is nothing._ ~ I laugh softly, having noticed the others. "You guys wouldn't even _let_ anyone hurt me, let alone do it yourselves. I'm safe here."

I hear Aid sigh. "I hope that's low grade."

I nod. "I remembered your warning. I'm not taking any chances." I shrug. "It's unusual, but it's not unpleasant."

"I need to finish with Brains' leg, but you can come out with me if you want."

"Energon first, Aid."

I can't help but laugh. "I was just about to say that, Spot." I glance down to my little companion. "Well, you need to go with Aid, which means I'm gonna be busy for a while."

"Doing what?"

I glance up to the motorcycle with a sigh. "My furniture, and my stuff from home is supposed to be here today. I'll have to start unpacking, and…" I sigh heavily. "It might take all day…"

"We can help…"

I glance over the four before staring at the blue fire-bot. "Spot…" I sigh. "You're all a bit too big for handling human stuff."

"We can use holoforms." I blink as four identical human men appear in front of me. "Wow…" I sigh softly. "Weren't for Groove and Spot's eyes, I wouldn't be able to tell any of you apart." I smile. "Thanks for the offer, you guys."

"But you don't need us?"

"Actually, I'd be grateful." I smile. "But it'll be…" I glance at my phone. "An hour yet. I'll let you all know when it's here."

* * *

 **One Hour Later**

~ _Guys, it's here!_ ~

~ _ **We're on our way. Need help bringing anything in?**_ ~

I pause for a moment and look over the still-growing pile of boxes and toats. ~ _Yes, actually. There's literally a mountain of cardboard and plastic out here._ ~ I think about that. ~ _Well, a mountain to my human form, anyway. I'm out front with the truck right now._ ~

~How are you using the bond in your human form?~

~ _Still techno-organic, Street, which means I'm still a Protectobot. I'm just in a different form right now._ ~

"Is that all?"

I nod to the men. "Yes, thank you." I sigh heavily. ~ _I hate talking to strangers!_ ~

~ **You have to in our line of work.** ~

~ _I know, I did, and I plan to when I get there again, but that doesn't mean I can't hate it in secret—well…not so secret now, huh?_ ~

~ _Is everything okay?_ ~

~ _Fine, Aid. I just hate talking to strangers. Not something that can really be dealt with—even when one has a gestalt full of brothers._ ~ I smirk when I remember something. ~ _It really fits, now that I think about it…_ ~

~What does?~

~ _The term gestalt, to combiner teams. They combine to form something greater than the sum of its parts._ ~

~ _ **Unless you're talking about Devastator.**_ ~

~ _True…_ ~ I laugh softly and quickly change forms when I sense them behind me. "Hey, Guys."

"Hey." They look at the mountain of boxes and toats skeptically.

"Our grandparents and great-grandparents spoiled us. I never wanted for _stuff_. I wanted for _love_." I shrug. "Besides, I've got you all now. I'll never want for anything again."

* * *

It takes almost an hour just to get everything inside. Once the last box is set down, I kneel beside them. For the most part, I'm keeping it inside, but they've got a shed out back in case I don't want to keep something inside.

The first box I open is full of books—I wouldn't doubt it. Even with my Cybertronian frame, it was almost too heavy. "That's a library box." I check another. "So's this one, and…" I remember having about three large toats worth of books, so I check a third. "So's this one." Streetwise, Groove, and Blades move over. "Hold up." I grab my EMS book. "Now, they can go."

While they're doing that, I turn to the next box and open it. "Cat things…"

"Cat things?"

"Two cats." I sigh. "But I didn't see their carriers…"

He points to an old off-white dog crate that seems oddly quiet. "What's that?"

"Pet…" I slap my forehead. "DUH!" I laugh softly. "Pet crate." I sigh. "How's Aid with animal medicine?" He gives me a look. "If Aid's not good with animal medicine, I need to find a vet for them, because I'm good with cats, but not _that_ good."

"He can diagnose, but it may be too hard for him to treat them…"

I kneel beside the crate. "Could you call him in?" I shrug at the confused look. "I don't want to startle him. I'm new to the bond, you guys aren't. He'd expect something from you guys, but maybe not from me. Besides, I've already done that once."

"Ah…" ~ _ **Aid, we need you inside.**_ ~

I crouch in front of the crate and look in at the miserable-looking cats worriedly. "You two okay in there?" A single pitiful meow comes from the crate. "Oh, baby. It's all right." I stick a finger through the side. "I'll get you two out of their soon enough. Just hang in there a little longer."

~ _What's wrong, Spot? Did Mari get hurt?_ ~

~ _ **No, Aid. She's fine. She wants you to check on her pets.**_ ~

~ _I'm on my way. Is there anything wrong with them that you can see?_ ~

~ _ **She hasn't taken them out yet…**_ ~

~ _Ah…_ ~ He sighs over the bond. ~ _She said they don't travel well. She may be worried about one or both making a mess…_ ~

~ _And I don't have their litter box set up yet._ ~ I make a face. ~ _Disgusting chore, if you ask me, but worth it if you love your pets._ ~

~ _ **Just keep them in your room.**_ ~

~It'll keep them from getting hurt.~

~ _They're used to it, Guys!_ ~ I look up from the crate when Aid walks in. "Hey."

He shuts the door, then kneels beside me. "How do they look?"

"Hot, tired, and scared." I sigh heavily. "And drooly—don't ask." I sigh when I get their confused looks. "They drool, when we go on car trips. They absolutely hate traveling."

"Which is why she called me."

I nod. "Because going to the vet is out of the question, when I don't have a job, and they've just been on a trip for the last two hours. No more car trips until tomorrow at least." I open the crate and grab the youngest first. "This is Miko. She's the reason I'll have to keep their water and litter box in my bathroom."

"Excuse me?"

I shrug. "She splashes in the water dish. It's annoying." I shrug. "But she's so cute I can't throw her out."

" _Meow…meow…meow…meow…meow…_ "

"I know, I know. You hate being held. It's only for a few minutes."

She pushes against me, stops, and then looks up to see Aid. " _Hhiissss_!"

"Now stop that. Aid's not gonna hurt you." I scratch her on the back, that being the only place I can reach.

" _Roooooowwwww!_ " She slashes at him.

Aid laughs. "Now, now. That can't hurt me, Little One." He turns to me. "She's a little dehydrated, probably from the drooling, but she's fine otherwise."

I nod, and check the door before setting her down. "The next one's mellow, but she hates new things, so be warned." I nod toward Miko. "At least this one doesn't have claws in the front."

"What?" He glares at me. "You had her declawed!? How does she defend herself?"

"Quite well, actually, and _no_ , my mother did." I shrug. "She's my Kitty Soft Paws, and she's protective of me—to the point that she'll lay on top of me when I'm upset."

"Cuddle pile."

I nod. "With me." I shrug. "As the only kitten in her litter, I wouldn't doubt that she'd get a little lonely." I smile slightly. "Looking back, those were the best nights…and days…I could ever ask for." I open the crate and pull her out. "This is Winky."

"Mrow?" She looks up at Aid and growls.

"Now, now, Little Missy. Aid's not dangerous."

He checks her over carefully. "Same as Miko, but—" He looks down to find her licking his hand. "What the—"

"She does that—they both do." I set her down and quickly get the litter box, food, and water set up before returning to the boxes.

The next box I open is full of clothes. I sigh heavily before starting to put them away. "You don't have to stay, Aid. I'm sure you were busy…"

He sighs before nodding. "I need to get back to Brains…"

I nod slightly. "Then go. He needs your help more than I do right now."

"You're sure?"

I nod. "He needs that leg more than I need another set of hands. Go on. We can handle this."

"All right." He sighs. "Come down to the medbay when you're done. I may need your help."

"With Brains?" That seems strange to me. He's not that much of a troublemaker.

"With Ratchet. I'm going to start teaching you today."

"Really?" He nods. "YES!" The cats run for cover. I giggle sheepishly. "Oops… Sorry, girls…" I get a glare from both of them from the open closet door.

"They could give Ratchet a run for his money…"

"Really?" I glance back to my furious cats. "You really think a cranky cat would be worse than Ratchet?" The two share a look before shrugging. "You're a lot of help." I glance back to the boxes and groan softly before sighing. "Back to work."

* * *

Cat names have not been changed.


	9. Medic Beginning

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro! Playswithworms Protectobot Beginnings used as their pasts.

Valentines' Day belongs to Linkin Park; What Can I Say belongs to Carrie Underwood; Not a Day Goes By belongs to Lonestar; Travelin' Soldier belongs to Dixie Chicks

100% true AN: I have actually been abandoned, recently (8/9/16), by the person who adopted me, and is my legal guardian as I am an adult child (Autism is a neuro-developmental disability, meaning a mental disorder). I cannot take care of myself, so Stacy has stepped in for the next few days. I am now at the mercy of abusive and negligent people, who have barely registered that I need Rescue Bots to sleep at night, or WiFi so I can talk to what little friends I have on this site. I don't know what I am going to do. If things get bad, I may have to find a group home for myself, because I have nowhere else to go. I am one step closer to an official diagnosis of PTSD as well. If anything, this has made the Complex PTSD worse. I am not sure where to turn, or what I will do next, but I refuse to give up. I am, after all, a survivor.

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Medic Beginning

 **2:00 pm**

I walk over in bot form and push the door open before looking around for my older brother. "Aid?"

He looks up from the scanner he's holding before turning to me from this side of the furthest medical berth. "You're done already?"

I shrug. "It doesn't take long when you have five sets of hands working on the same thing." I walk over to the berth, and find a rather sorry-looking, torn apart version of Ratchet. "Oh…" I glance up to him. "You okay, Aid? I-I can—"

"You're not trained yet. I'll be fine."

"At least take a break and get some energon." I glance back at the frame before looking up at him. "You knew him personally. I didn't. Go ahead and take a break. I won't hurt him in the time it takes you to get a cube."

"Mari…"

~ _I can tell you're not okay, Aid._ ~

~ _I miss having him around, Mari._ ~ He sighs. ~ _I'm not supposed to be the CMO, he is… It's his title, his position—_ ~

I step over and lay a hand on his shoulder. ~ _And he wouldn't have passed it to you if you didn't deserve it just as much as he does. You'll get the chance to give it back, but until then… You set the tone. Now, get some energon and pull yourself together. I'll be fine._ ~ I glance over to the frame. ~ _Besides, you don't know how deeply_ I _care for_ him _, either. You only know the surface—the reactions._ ~ I turn away and rest one arm above my other elbow, my doorwings falling toward the ground. ~ _Before today, you didn't know I hid in the shadows beside the movie theater and cried for the first time after losing my mother because they killed him off. You didn't know I've spent the last two years in anguish if anyone mentions Lockdown. You didn't know that, every time I thought of the mech, I wanted to end him, even though he was already gone. You didn't know I only started liking neon green because of his memory—it's one of my favorite shirts now._ ~ I sigh softly. ~ _Before today, you didn't know, that I can't listen to Linkin Park's_ _Final Masquerade_ _,_ _Powerless_ _,_ _Castle of Glass_ _, or_ _Waiting for the End_ _without seeing the movie in my mind, hearing Lockdown's voice, or crying my spark out in grief._ ~ I look down before queuing up a song—Valentine's Day, by Linkin Park. I can't sing right without the music sometimes, and it's frustrating. ~ _And this one, right now, is spark-wrenching…_ ~ I start to sing along.

My insides all turned to ash, so slow  
And blew away as I collapsed, so cold  
A black wind took them away, from sight  
And held the darkness over day, that night

And the clouds above move closer  
Looking so dissatisfied  
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

I used to be my own protection, but not now  
Cause my path has lost direction, somehow  
A black wind took you away, from sight  
And held the darkness over day, that night

And the clouds above move closer  
Looking so dissatisfied  
And the ground below grew colder  
As they put you down inside  
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

So now you're gone, and I was wrong  
I never knew what it was like, to be alone  
On a Valentine's Day

I leave the rest of the song playing, and turn to him before laying a hand on his shoulder. I'm grateful for my autism right now, because even though I'm near tears, I'm able to keep it together for Aid. ~ _We're both grieving, Aid. I promise, on my honor as the Star Healer, that I won't let anyone hurt him, and I won't do anything to ruin our chances of bringing him back._ ~ I sigh softly. ~ _And Aid…_ ~

~ _Yeah?_ ~

~ _Let Spot and the others in. Don't push them away because of your pain._ ~

~ _You pushed us out of yours…_ ~

~ _I don't know what to think right now, Aid. That's all._ ~ I wave a hand toward the remains of the green medic on the far berth. ~ _I know I love him—that's not up for question—I just don't know_ how _I love him…_ ~

He gives me a confused look. ~ _Meaning?_ ~

~ _Before my mother died, I looked at him as a father-figure—anything else was frowned upon._ ~ I glance back up to him. ~ _But now… I don't know if it's changed to a romantic love, but I've been getting…signs, that it might have. He just…slipped in, Aid… And now he's gone…_ ~

~ _Like Sunstreaker did when my brothers were missing…_ ~

~ _Right. He made a seriously crappy time more bearable. I wasn't getting any palpable love from anyone, but I was still able to feel love, even after the hell two years ago—I could still feel—I wasn't numb because of my trauma—because I felt something for who I used to believe was just a movie character. Watching him fall…_ ~

~ **Must have felt like having your spark torn out.** ~

~ _Hi, Groove. Yes. Hence the sobbing beside the theater after the movie ended, both times I went to see it._ ~ I step over to the frame and lay my hand on his. ~ _Piercing words/eyes of red/watched your tail lights in the rain/empty heart filled with regret/I know we were both to blame. And I'm not sorry that it's over/but for the way we let it end/so I said all I had to say/in letters that I threw away._ ~ Aid leaves the med-bay to give me some time, leaving me alone with the frame. I continue the song through the bond, but start singing out loud as well to fill the otherwise palpable silence.

And you should know, please believe me  
I've picked up the phone a thousand times  
And tried to dial your number  
But it's been so long, it's never easy  
It's like trying to spin the world the other way  
What can I say?

How did it come to this?  
I think about you all the time  
It's no excuse  
But I wish that I never made you cry  
I'm not sorry that it's over  
But for the way we let it end  
I couldn't find the words to say

And you should know, please believe me  
I've picked up the phone a thousand times  
And tried to dial your number  
But it's been so long, it's never easy  
It's like trying to spin the world the other way  
So what can I say?  
What can I say?  
What can I say?

I hate to think all you had of me  
(I said all I had to say)  
Is a memory I left you,  
Space between what was mean to be  
(In letters I threw away)  
And the mess that it turned into

And you should know, please believe me  
I've picked up the phone a thousand times  
And tried to dial your number  
But it's been so long, it's never easy  
It's like trying to spin the world the other way  
It's like trying to spin the world the other way  
What can I say?  
What can I say?  
What can I say?

I sigh softly before running a hand over the damaged head, then lay a hand on his. "When we get you back, Big Guy, I'll fight for you. No matter what happens, if it comes down to it, I'll fight for you, and I'll fight for Defensor, even though I hate to fight, because I'll _only_ fight for what I love." I run my finger over the damage from KSI as a soft sob finally breaks free. "Oh, Ratch!" I can't stop the tears, let alone keep my emotion out of the bond, so I know the others will be here soon. "Primus… Why… Why take him from us? We weren't _ready_ …" A lone tear lands on Ratchet's hand as I lift it. " _I_ wasn't ready…"

I can sense my brothers nearby, but I'm not worried for once, if someone hears me. They won't interrupt me like Briar would, or cuss me out like Aaron would. They're just…listening.

Got a picture of you I carry in my heart  
Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark  
Got a memory of you I carry in my soul  
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold  
If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine  
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you  
After all this time you're still with me it's true  
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside  
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night  
Thinkin' you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right  
And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark  
Wishin' you were next to me, with your head against my heart  
If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine  
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you  
After all this time you're still with me it's true  
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside  
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days  
Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you  
After all this time you're still with me it's true  
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside  
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

~ _ **You okay?**_ ~

~ _I will be…_ ~ I sigh over the bond. ~ _Not a meltdown, Spot. Just… Finally letting the grief I've carried for two years flow. I'd had to hide it before, so no one would think the death of my mother—which I'd been expecting, and accepted beforehand—was why I was crying, when it would have really been a certain neon green medic._ ~ I sigh softly through the bond. ~ _I cried, Spot… I cried for him… I cried for Aid, even though I didn't know he was on Earth… I cried for Optimus… I cried for Bumblebee, cause he'll never talk again… Now…_ ~ I sigh heavily through the bond. ~ _Now I'm waiting for him… I'm waiting for the love of a traveling soldier…_ ~ I smile down at the offline frame sadly. "I'm waiting for you, Ratch… I'll wait forever if I have to." I smile sadly and start to sing.

Two days past eighteen  
He was waitin' for the bus in his army greens  
Sat down in a booth a cafe' there  
Gave his order to the girl with a bow in her hair  
He's a little shy so she gives him a smile  
And he said would you mind sittin' down for a while  
And talkin' to me I'm feelin' a little low  
She said I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go

So they went down and they sat on the pier  
He said I bet you got a boyfriend but I don't care  
I've got no one to send a letter to  
Would you mind if I sent one back here to you?

I cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
Too young for him they told her  
Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waitin' for the soldier to come back again  
Never more to be alone  
When the letter says a soldier's comin' home

So the letters came  
From an army camp  
In California then Vietnam  
And he told her of his heart  
It might be love  
And all of the things he was so scared of  
He said when it's gettin kinda rough over here  
I think of that day sittin' down at the pier  
And I close my eyes and see your pretty smile  
Don't worry but I won't be able to write for a while

I cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
Too young for him they told her  
Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waitin' for the soldier to come back again  
Never more to be alone  
When the letter says a soldier's comin' home

I sigh softly before continuing softer.

One Friday night at a football game  
The Lord's Prayer said and the anthem sang  
A man said folks would you bow your heads  
For a list of local Vietnam dead

I take a deep breath and choke back a sob. Now I'm the little girl with the bow in her hair—relatively speaking. I don't have a bow, and I don't really have hair at the moment.

Cryin' all alone under the stands  
Was a piccolo player in the marching band  
And one name read and nobody really cared  
But a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair

I cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
Too young for him they told her  
Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waitin' for the soldier to come back again  
Never more to be alone  
When the letter says a soldier's comin'

I cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
Too young for him they told her  
Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waitin' for the soldier to come back again  
Never more to be alone  
When the letter says a soldier's comin' home

I blink before looking back at the frame in front of me. ~ _I think… I think I'm ready for those medic lessons now, Aid…_ ~

~ _I'll be there in a minute. I still need to get some energon…_ ~

~ _You were supposed to get that eight minutes ago!_ ~

~ _I know, but I was worried about you._ ~

~ _I'm okay now._ ~ I smile sadly. ~ _And hopefully, I'll be okay for forever soon enough. I have you five, and I'll have Ratch too._ ~

~Bumblebee said Optimus would be back within the week, and that he might have some of the others with him.~

~ _See? Okay forever. I'll have Defensor, Optimus, and Ratchet. What else would a femme need? Family, a good job, and someone to love._ ~ I blink. I left Optimus out. ~ _And having their favorite Prime around too doesn't hurt anything…_ ~

~ _ **What about friends?**_ ~

~ _I'll get those soon enough. Bee's nice, and, now that I've forgiven Drift, who knows? If Optimus brings other Autobots, I'll have the chance to make friends there, too._ ~

~ **As long as you're okay…** ~

~ _I'm fine, Groove. Spot?_ ~

~ _ **What is it?**_ ~

~ _We may need you…as backup…in case something goes wrong._ ~

~ _ **And how would that happen?**_ ~

~Fire-based healing abilities in a closed medical bay, with an untrained person using it. She may accidentally set the medical bay on fire.~

~ _Thanks, Street._ ~ I sigh over the bond. ~ _That's exactly why Blades._ ~ I rub the back of my neck, even though they can't see me. ~ _Except I'm scared of fire, too, which complicates things. I want a trained professional backing me up if things go south._ ~ I blink. ' _What does it mean when things go south…_ ' I shrug. ' _Who the frag cares? Not me!_ '

"Mari?"

I glance over my shoulder, having to move my doorwing when I realize it's in the way. "Aid?" I turn to him. "What did you need?"

He sets a cube on the counter before turning to me. "The next few days, we're going to see how powerful your flames are. If you really want to help with Ratchet, it'll be the easiest way. You already know about our biomechanics and anatomy, now we need to start applying it to actual patients."

"Didn't we do that with the medical exams?"

"We both know I did most of them while you read through the data-pads I gave you. Now…" He glances back over the tools on the counter before turning back to me. "Your fire can replace several tools, but not all of them. Just because something is slower, doesn't mean it's outdated."

"Learned that from Animated too." I grin. "I'm just glad to get the chance to learn. I don't care about the difficulty levels."

"Good." He glares at me half-heartedly. "I can cannibalize some of my parts and energon on the battlefield, but don't let me catch you doing that. We don't need you hurting yourself."

" _You_ can, but _I_ can't?"

" _I_ have redundant systems for that very reason. We don't know about _you_ yet." He sighs. ~ _Spot, we're ready to get started. Where are you?_ ~

~ _ **On my way. Did you get your energon?**_ ~

~ _And a cube for Mari, just in case. She's never used her fire before._ ~

Spot steps in before shutting the door. He rests a hand on my shoulder and smiles down at me. ~ _ **Don't worry about a thing. I'll be right here if anything happens, and we won't let you get hurt.**_ ~ He turns to Aid. "What were the two of you talking about? I can sense the tension in here."

I rub the back of my neck. "Aid told me not to take parts from myself for others' repairs, and I was about to go off at him for doing it himself."

"Ah…" He sighs. ~ _ **We hate it when he does that too, but he has redundant systems. He can handle it better than, say, Blades could.**_ ~

~ _Or Ratchet?_ ~

~ _ **Nope. He can too, but Aid was created with medic programing, and we were all created to be mostly defensive. You may be able to do that too, but we haven't gotten a full scan of your systems yet, and none of us want you doing anything that might hurt you before we have Ratchet back. We just got you, and we'd like to keep you around for a few years.**_ ~

~ _ **Besides, having Aid weigh half of what he should isn't something I want to see again…**_ ~

~ _I was_ fine _, Blades. If you recall, Ratchet said the same thing when we got back._ ~

I turn to Spot. ~ _Touchy subject?_ ~

~ _ **Yep…**_ ~ He sighs. ~ _ **We're all protective of Aid, though. After the disruptor cannon… We almost lost him, Mari. I don't think I could handle that again—not alone…**_ ~

~ _Don't blame ya. I understand perfectly._ ~ I look up at him. ~ _You had your gestalt, though… You still have us…_ ~

~ _ **Our friends. Superion's vorns older than us, so they're helpful when something's too hard for me to grasp.**_ ~

~ _Except you took on a new member, and they're still only five._ ~

~ _ **Yeah…**_ ~

I lay a hand on his arm. ~ _Hey. Maybe they're with Optimus? Maybe_ they're _the ones he's bringing to Earth with him?_ ~

~ _ **Maybe…**_ ~

~ _Cheer up, Big Guy. I don't like seeing you this way…_ ~ I look up at him again before huffing, then wrap my arms around him in a hug. "I don't need to see you as down as Wave can get, Spot. I just don't. It starts a whole torrent of memories from the series, and not all of them are good…" I shrug. "Some are funny, but seeing Wave upset is _not_ my favorite part of the series, and he's prone to despair."

He nods, and laughs slightly as I step back. "You sounded like Aid for a moment there."

I shrug before nuzzling into him. I'm so glad I don't have to hide my need for closeness anymore. "I know. I may be better at disguising my compassion as something other than jerkiness or anger than anyone else, but I can't do it when I'm worried, and…" I sigh softly. "I _really_ don't like seeing you like that."

"Got to agree with you there." He sighs before turning to Aid. "Where—"

Aid points to the corner by the door. "Try not to get in the way, but stay where you can help if anything gets set on fire."

I follow the finger before giggling. "You do realize you just told your older brother _and_ gestalt commander to stand in the corner, right?"

Aid gives me a surprised look. "I—" He glances to where he's pointing. "Huh. I guess I did…" He laughs slightly. "I didn't mean the corner, though. Just out of the way."

"He'd certainly be "out of the way" in the corner."

"Yep." He sighs. "But I don't really want my brother in the corner."

"Good to hear."

We both turn to Hot Spot before sharing a look—and a laugh. We'd both managed to forget the mech in question was watching us. "Oops…"

Aid turns to the berth and explains, very simply, how to activate the inferno. Once I have it down, he starts pointing out places to use it—mostly on the bullet wounds right now—while he starts working on replacing armor. Really, minus the external damage and his leg, the only other problem would be his spark, which—sadly—would be my job. Without having his in the vicinity—since it was with Lockdown—Aid had to install a new chamber itself, but hopefully—key word being hopefully—we— _I_ —can restore him to the mech he used to be. ~ _No pressure, huh?_ ~

~ _Mari?_ ~

~ _I did it again, didn't I?_ ~

Aid turns to where I'm finishing on a fifth bullet hole. ~ _Yep._ ~ He pats my arm before returning to the armor. ~ _What's wrong?_ ~

~ _I'm the only one who could possibly bring him back, and, even if I wouldn't know the difference between the two, if I screw up, you'll know if he's not the same Ratchet. What if I can't find the right spark—I mean, we're using a different chamber—you've already got it in, actually—and he may not be the same because of it._ ~

~ _It's a new spark chamber, Mari—never used before—and you'll do fine. I believe in you._ ~

~ _At least one of us does…_ ~

He stops before walking around and pulling me in for a hug. ~ _You're doing great, even with very little training. Trust me._ ~

I wait until he steps back, then look at the table. ~ _You had to rebuild Brain's leg on your own…_ ~

~ _I would have anyway. You're not trained enough to handle repairs on that level yet._ I _wasn't even ready for that my first day on the job._ ~ He sighs softly. ~ _Don't punish yourself for learning. You'll get there, it'll just take a while._ ~ He glances at Ratchet. ~ _Maybe I shouldn't have started you on such an important case, but I needed an extra set of hands, and Blades isn't as interested as you are._ ~

I shake my head. ~ _Don't beat yourself up just because I'm insecure._ ~ I sigh heavily. ~ _I'm just nervous. I've never even used a defibrillator outside the classroom and exam, and now I'm actually reviving a mech… It's a little nerve-wracking…_ ~

I feel another hand on my shoulder. ~ _ **Don't be nervous. We won't let a few mistakes stop us from being here for you.**_ ~

~ _ **We messed up enough when we first joined the Autobots.**_ ~

~ **We weren't even supposed to be on the field the day Aid almost died.** ~

~We were sure we'd lose him, but he's fine now.~

~ _I even told you I threw myself into the blast to protect everyone inside the base._ ~ He sighs. ~ _I've even messed up in the med-bay before, early in my training. Ratchet got mad, of course, but he never let a mistake keep me from learning._ ~

~ **I stuck rocks in every data port I could reach.** ~

I can't help but giggle. ~ _Primus, Groove!_ ~

~ _ **Don't get me started about Hot Spot's first time transforming to vehicle form.**_ ~

~ _ **Blades…**_ ~ He sighs. ~ _ **Don't get me started about the first time you were away overnight.**_ ~

~ _Sounds like some stories… First, what happened to Spot?_ ~

~ _ **I…fell in a hole because I couldn't find my brakes.**_ ~

~ _Blades?_ ~

~ _ **I cried like a sparkling, okay!? There was a storm, and we couldn't get back that night. The Aerialbots are jerks sometimes!**_ ~

~ _How old were you guys?_ ~

~Less than a vorn.~

~ _You_ were _a sparkling, Blades. Don't get embarrassed over being a baby. We all were at one point. Trust me._ ~

~ _ **What about you?**_ ~

~ _No one ever told me any, Blades, so I don't know._ ~ I sigh. ~ _Any other stories?_ ~

~Groove's what humans call an adrenaline junky. Loved it when the Aerialbots would pull crazy stunts when he'd ride with them.~

~ **Street!** ~

~ _And motorcyclists don't take their lives in their own hands everyday by riding one? I expected that one… Didn't know for sure, but I expected it._ ~

~ _ **You okay now?**_ ~

~ _I am. Thanks, guys…_ ~

~ _ **It's our job, Mari. We're your brothers.**_ ~

~ _And I hope it stays that way forever…_ ~


	10. EMS Class

I don't own anything but Mariposa!

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

EMS Class

 **WEDNESDAY, 5:45 PM**

"Mari!"

"I'm coming, Aid!" I run down the stairs with my old EMS book and laptop in a damaged purple messenger bag with a pencil bag and an old, cheep notebook, wearing the yellow tunic sweater and jeggings, and my wedge boots.

He herds me out quickly, with the excuse that we're running late, and transforms in the drive before opening the door for me. I wait until we're on the road to comment on it. "Um… Aid?"

"Yeah?"

"We still have ten minutes before that excuse would work on me. I like to leave early."

"Oh…" He sighs. "You're still keeping things from us."

I cross my arms and give him a mock glare. "You're one to talk."

"I know." He sighs. "And I know Spot doesn't like it. You're still new enough to being one of us, that you shouldn't even know how to block a bond, let alone transform or combine…"

I shrug. "Guess I fit right in here, then… Combining before you're a year old… Your first battle… Spot's problem with the hole…"

"Okay, you have a point." He laughs. "We all had our moments growing up, and you will too…"

I look out the window. "I don't block the bond."

"You don't?"

"I keep things to myself…" I sigh softly. "It may have been my saving grace, as I grew up—the reason I'm only traumatized, and not dead… The reason I survived long enough to meet you…" My mind flashes back to that morning, where I'd been talking to fake bots in the fantasy world I live in—a regressed trait a lot of autistic adults have, combined with a trauma shelter of sorts. I usually spent time with Ratchet, Red Alert, Ironhide, Bumblebee, and the Lambo Twins, or Optimus himself…I don't know if it was jealousy, or timidity, that kept me away from Defensor in the fantasy, but I regret it now—and they weren't even REAL. "God, Aid…" I shake my head. He's probably getting it through the bond. "Life was simpler, when it was only a fantasy…but I'd never go back."

"We're not mad." I blink at the steering wheel. "We're not in those movies, right?" I shake my head. "Then you were just sticking with what you knew."

"Didn't know Sunny…or Red…"

"You wanted to be part of a combiner, not just know them, right?" I nod weakly. "And we're pretty tall when we're combined—bigger than Optimus…" I nod again. "We know how intimidating we can be to humans, Mari."

I smirk at that. "You just won't accept it."

"Right! Someday, they'll see we're not dangerous like the cons."

"Just huge." I shrug. "Then again, it's easy to tell I'm one of the few not scared, with how I reacted to Blades when I met you all…" I sigh. "So the fact that I avoided you guys in the fantasy is actually kind of strange…" I rub the back of my neck as he stops outside the firehouse. "But I don't know if I actually was a little intimidated—because you're huge together, when Gipsy's not much smaller—I think she's taller, actually—or because I was jealous because you all had someone to love, and I was out there on my own…" I open the door. "But I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd always known you guys, now… With Ratchet…" I blink quickly, trying not to cry. "With Ratchet down still…I need you guys, and…I don't want regret like that keeping me from letting you all in… I…I guess I'm just scared…"

"You don't have to be, and we'll give you as much time as you need. Don't worry about trusting us right now."

"But I do trust you!" I hug the side of the ambulance, not caring if someone thinks I'm weird. He's my brother!

"I know… Don't worry about letting us in until you're ready. You've been through a lot, and you're still…" He sighs heavily. "You need to get inside before you freeze. I'll be out here when you're done."

"I'm still a what?"

"You're still like a sparkling to our kind, and we don't know if you'll age like a human, or like our kind." He sighs. "Ratchet may be able to help with that once we have him back, but…"

I nod. "Stay safe, Aid."

"Why would I—"

"I just have a bad feeling, and I can't put my finger on why. Stay safe out here, and keep in contact with your brothers. Let me know if something's not right, and I'll be out here as soon as I can come up with an excuse." I sigh heavily. "I have to go." I hug the warm ambulance one more time before running to the firehouse. "Love you!"

* * *

I run inside and take a seat before pulling out my book and the notebook before getting a pencil out of the case. I can hear my brother's talking, but I don't pay them much attention as I start to sketch out what I think is coming—Cemetery Wind… Lockdown… Or the Decepticons themselves. 'I hate being psychic!'

* * *

AID'S POV

~ _Guys, stay alert. Mari said she's got a bad feeling about something, and I've never heard her so serious befo_ _r_ _e_. ~

~ ** _You're sure she's not just panicking?_** ~

~ _She didn't have the same tone as she does when she's panicked… It's like she was in her element… She told me to stay safe, and—_ ~

~ **You're in the parking lot by the firehouse. Where would you be safer?** ~

~ _ **Besides being here with us…**_ ~

~Something's coming…~

~ _Right now?_ ~

~No. It's at least a few hours away. But I can tell Mari's onto something.~ I can feel him smiling over the bond. ~We need to make sure she follows her heart more, Aid. She may be better at this than I am…~

~ _ **It's not easy on her, Street. I can tell she's barely keeping herself together right now…**_ ~

~I didn't say—~ He sighs over the bond. ~I didn't mean it like that. I meant she needs to trust herself more, instead of trying so hard to prove she's right. She's going to wind up hurting herself…~

~ _ **Like you do?**_ ~

~ _Stop picking on him, Blades!_ ~ I sigh heavily. ~ _Mari's nervous enough without you guys talking about this!_ ~

~ _ **You—**_ ~

~ _ **He passed a warning on. Mari wants us to be ready if someone shows up here, and we will.**_ ~

* * *

NORMAL POV

I scoff lightly. The teacher just came in, and it's time for my first class to start, but my brothers are coming in loud and clear over the bond, keeping my ADHD mind off the lesson. ~ _GUYS! I NEED TO FOCUS HERE! CLASS IS STARTING!_ ~ At least my need for a distraction means I'll hold onto more of the lesson than I would normally.

~ _ **We'll keep it down.**_ ~

I blink when I realize what triggered Aid to snap. ~ _…D…did I start another argument…_ ~

~ _ **I handled it, Mari. They both want to protect you, but they have different ways of doing so.**_ ~

~ _Like on the battlefield… Doesn't mean I didn't—_ ~

~ _ **Blades was teasing Streets over the bond.**_ ~

I sigh softly. ~ _…And I'm an advocate against mistreatment…BLADES! LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE! THEY'RE ALL YOU'VE GOT!_ ~

~ _ **Get back to your class, and pay attention. We want you with us on missions…**_ ~

~And follow your heart. Trust yourself. You don't have to prove anything to us.~

~ **We'll protect the house. You just worry about learning what you can.** ~

I sigh heavily. ~ _Just don't kill anyone… Love you guys…_ ~

~ _ **We'll keep the others safe. Don't worry about it.**_ ~

~ _Don't get yourselves killed, either. Don't push yourself too hard, Street, and don't be too hard on your rotors if it's cons, Blades. I've never fixed rotors before, and I've had enough of overheating cars to last me a lifetime and a half._ ~

~ _You won't be alone in there, Mari. I'm here too._ ~ He smiles through the bond. ~ _And Ratchet will be soon, with your help._ ~

~ _ **All right, she needs to focus on her class.**_ ~

The bond goes quiet, but I can still feel them, so I'm not too worried. Still, I felt better when I was able to hear their voices, but I can't let them know that. I need to pay attention. Spot wants me out there with them, and I need my EMS training or I can't be. Luckily, this is just a formality so I can get recertified.

I return my full attention to the teacher as he starts going through the introduction and starts the same movie I'd watched before, about the Practical Exam—this time without the dizzy spell and near-fainting, thank God. I want my brothers aware.

Within a few minutes, I'm so in my zone I can't even tell my brothers are out there. The only sign they are is the warmth against the portion of me that is still Cybertronian—one that's grown since the last time I was human… ' _Should I be worried? I'm more Cybertronian than I was before… Awh, I'll ask Aid tonight. If it is, I'll go back to using my human form unless we need my bot form…_ '


	11. Attack!

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Attack!

 **10:00 pm**

I glance behind us as Aid pulls onto the street. Something doesn't feel right… The sirens click on, and, though I usually get a thrill from their sound, this time's different… Something's not right… "Aid?"

"Trouble at home."

I blink. "Cemetery Wind?"

"I don't know."

' _Oh, God. Not again. I-I can't lose my family. Not again, and not to those slaggers._ ' I sigh softly. ' _There's one way I can insure they'll be safe, but can I really do it… Can I really hurt someone, like that?_ ' I close my eyes and try to control my breathing. We haven't revived any of the mechs we'd saved from KSI yet, but we've been working to get Ratchet back first. Knowing what's in the medical bay, we have to move fast. I lay a hand on my chest. ' _I always said I'd do the same for them, that they'd do for me—even when "they" meant Optimus, or Heatwave from Rescue Bots. They'd save me, even if they had to end someone else. I'll save them. I_ have _to._ ' I steel myself for what I know will be challenging—not because it's something I've never done—which is true enough—but because I've never killed… and I never wanted to. ' _I would give my life. I would make that sacrifice… I_ will _, for_ them _._ '

I look at the black vehicles as we pull up to the house, and let out a shaky sigh. "You okay?"

"Fine, Aid. Go hide."

"I need to get to Spot."

"Then do _that_!" I sigh. "Sorry…"

"Don't worry about it. You need to hide before they find you."

' _I have something far more important to do…_ ' I run into the house and up the stairs before grabbing a red velvet pouch and my pink rifle. I quickly unlock it before loading it with a determination I haven't felt since I called the police on my birthdad. ' _Caught in the action of kill or be killed, no greater gift has man than to lay down his life for his brother._ ' I run down the stairs before diving in front of Defensor with the gun pointing at the lead human. I haven't seen him before, though. Guess they got a new leader after Savoy fell from the top story.

"What are you doing!?"

I line up the shot, trying not to cry. They're depending on me. These guys will kill them in a heartbeat. "You don't think about right/you don't think about wrong/you just do what you gotta do/to defend your own." I check my aim. "I would give my life/I would make that sacrifice." I fire, hitting the leader's arm and causing him to drop the bot-killing gun he's holding before dropping my own along with the pouch I'd brought to reload if necessary. I only hope I can get away before I start crying…

* * *

 **Third POV**

"Retreat!"

The Protectobots return to their original forms before sharing a look.

Hot Spot stares after their attackers. "She chased them off…"

First Aid looks more than a little upset. "She hurt one…"

"Wish she'd killed him…"

"Wait." They all turn to the motorcycle. "Where'd she go?"

"She ran inside."

Aid sighs. "Let me talk with her first."

* * *

 **Normal POV**

I'm under the largest berth, with my knees to my chest as I cry. ' _That… Was the hardest thing… I've ever done… Why didn't I aim for his leg? I know I didn't kill him… but I was far too close to his heart… I don't think I could do_ that _… but… I—_ ' I hear a door shut across the hall. Someone's close—very close…

"Mari?"

It's Aid. ' _Thank Primus. That means no one's hurt bad enough to need a medic. I wonder if anyone got to the main base? No. Bad Sheyenne. Focus._ '

The door opens, and I can hear a relieved sigh. "Mari…" He kneels and peeks under at me.

I wave slightly before resting my head back on my knees. "'m 'kay, Aid…"

"No, you're not. I can tell." He sighs. "Come on out. They're gone now."

I shake my head, but still crawl into his hand. He sits on the edge of the berth before setting me down, and watches as I run to the corner before curling into it face-first. "He's okay?"

Aid blinks. "Who's okay? Spot? We'll be fine, Mari. We're still on-line."

I shake my head. "The man I—the bad guy…" I can't even admit to shooting him.

"Oh…" He sighs. "I-I don't know… They retreated."

"How's she doing?"

I glance behind me before turning back to the corner a little too quickly. "Ow…"

"She's really shaken up…"

"Like you were?"

"Worse. Her first shot was a _human_ , Groove. You remember her story…"

I crawl over and curl into his side, clinging to him. "I broke a promise I made…"

He runs a finger over my head. "We know, Mari."

I look up and gasp before running a hand over a familiar—and frightening—hole on Aid's armor. "They got you anyway…"

"What?"

I look up at Groove to find more, and start to cry all over again. "I-I did i-it, cause I-I couldn't watch a-all of you fall l-like R-Ratch did, bu-but th-they— _they hurt you anyway_! I couldn't _protect_ you!" I look at my lap. "I only hurt _him_ to save _you_ , but the slagger still hurt _you_!"

Aid looks up to Groove. "How bad are the others?"

"Not much worse than I am. We managed to shield the others, though. No one could get past us."

"Tell them to meet me in the med-bay. I'll be down soon as I get her settled."

"No." They look down at me. "Not without me."

"What?"

I sigh, a few tears rolling down my cheeks. "I could've lost you guys. I'm staying with you." I look at my hands. "Besides, you might need me." I nod to the hole. "You're hurt too."

* * *

I look around at the other bots once Aid sets me on the medical berth before nodding, satisfied that they're all still semi-okay, even though they're hurt. Groove is in front of Aid, Spot's on the other side, and Streetwise is sitting on the other side of the berth, on Groove's right. Blades sets my gun and the pouch beside me before sitting on Groove's left. I pick it up and get the shell out before locking it, then set it back down and inch away from it before turning away. I don't even want to look at it right now. I'll get over that soon enough—I did after Aaron told me to shoot him, after all, and I will again. Technical pacifism and actual pacifism are still similar, but I'd rather be the latter than the former.

"I'm sure they'll get him to a hospital, Mari." I look up to find Hot Spot staring down at me. "I doubt that really matters to you right now, though. It didn't matter to Aid."

"Did I—"

He sighs before shaking his head. "It happened when we were in combat training."

I nod before sighing. "I broke a promise, Spot… I made a promise to myself that I'd never turn that thing on a living being after _he_ told me to shoot him if he abused me again, and I did… I-I shot someone today. I actually _shot_ someone."

"You kept us from being KSI's newest source of Cybertronium."

I shrug him off. "So what? I still hurt someone." I sigh. "Not that saving you guys wasn't good, because it was my goal, but…"

"But you didn't want to hurt someone."

I nod. "I just couldn't lose you guys—not like Ratch…" I start crying again, this time clinging to the fire-bot instead of Aid. "Too close. Too close."

"Too close to what?"

I look down. I can't find my voice to explain. It takes a moment to remember the bond—I'm not an original, after all. It'll take a while to remember it. ~ _Rescue Bots…_ ~

~ _ **What about them?**_ ~

~ _Too close to_ _Today and Forever_ _. Too close to losing…_ ~

~ _ **We're still here.**_ ~ I nod, and hug his arm before starting to climb it. "What are you doing?"

I peek into a hole with a flashlight. "Same thing as Aid—though I'm not really trained yet. I'm checking to make sure you're not hurt too bad." I shrug when he gives me a look. "Better than moping over Rescue Bots while talking to a better rescue team." I pause to think about that, and whimper. " _Way_ too close…"

I take a deep breath and cover my hands in the blue inferno once I'm sure there's no serious damage underneath the plating. "Hold still…" I heal the hole, then repeat the action with the twenty others before glancing over to see which I can "attack" next, before choosing Aid, who's working on Blades now—Groove's still cuddled between him and Streetwise.

All too quickly, I find myself feeling weak. I know why—I haven't had any energon since before I left for class, and I'm using the inferno a lot right now. In moments, Groove's holding a tiny (to them) cube out. It's similar to the one I filled for Brains, except a little bigger. I sigh heavily. ~ _Not yet, Groove. I'm not done with Street!_ ~

~ _Drink it, Mari._ ~ I give Aid a look. ~ _I can finish with Street. You need that energon, or you'll collapse on us, and we don't need that._ ~

~ _Right. What happens to one happens to everyone._ ~ I sip from the cube before sighing. ~ _Still unusual…_ ~

~ _It will be for a while._ ~

~ **You'll get used to it soon enough.** ~

~ _Just stay in bot-form, right?_ ~

~ _Right._ ~ He pats my head with a finger before turning back to Streetwise. "Still, you do need to go easy on it. We don't have an endless supply right now."

"I'll remember that." I look up at him. ~ _How low are you guys?_ ~

~ _We'll be fine for a few months, but I want to give Wheeljack the time to get a solar refinery built before we get close to running out._ ~

~ _Good…_ ~ I sigh softly. ~ _I don't think I could handle watching you guys fade after watching 'Wave and Ratchet…_ ~

~ _ **We'll be fine.**_ ~

~ _ **Wave?**_ ~

~ _Heatwave. Rescue Bots. They drained their energon for the town they protect. They survived, but_ only _because of Ratchet._ ~

~Makes this even harder, right?~

~ _Right… No Ratchet, and the five of you almost getting killed by Cemetery Wind? I doubt I'll get through that if it happens—iron will or not…_ ~

~ _If anything happens to us, I want you to keep going. You mean everything to us._ ~ He steps over and lays a hand on my shoulder. ~ _Don't give up on life if we're gone. Do everything you can to live your life to the fullest._ ~

~ _Man, this conversation got really dark, really fast…_ ~ I giggle beside myself. ~ _All right, Aid. I'll do my best._ ~

* * *

 **Berth Room**

It's another twenty minutes before Aid deems everyone repaired enough for recharge. We pile on together, with me on top as usual because of my doorwings, my head under Spot's chin as has become normal—and even _I_ don't know why I do that. I sigh softly before starting to sing in the silence.

We may shine…  
We may shatter…  
We may be picking up the pieces here on after…  
We are fragile…  
We are human…  
And we are shaped by the light we let through us…  
We break fast…  
Cause we are glass…

I switch to the bond, going even softer as I sing the second verse. ~ _I'll let you look inside me/through the stains and through the cracks/and in the darkness of this moment/we'll see the good and bad/but try not to judge me/cause we've walked down different paths/but it brought us here together/so I won't take that back…_ ~ I pause slightly, then leave the tune, choosing to whisper the rest in the bond. ~ _We might be oil and water/this could be a big mistake/we might burn like gasoline and fire/it's a chance we'll have to take…_ ~

~ _Do you really think you're broken?_ ~

~ _Aid… I shot a guy today, for almost the same reason I was told to shoot my birthdad. I went against everything I believe I am. I was a true pacifist, until tonight… Tonight, I would have killed that man if it meant keeping you guys safe. I went outside with_ that _as my plan._ ~

~ **Mari…** ~

~ _Groove's a technical pacifist. He didn't want to fight, but he does, so I won't have to._ ~ He sighs over the bond. ~ _We're at war, whether we like it or not, and we're field medics, Mari. We're out there, in the middle of hell. Mechs will die sometimes, no matter what we do—even if we're not the ones firing the gun._ ~

~ _I don't think willingly firing the gun fits into that, Aid…_ ~

~ **You did it to save us, though. We'd do the same for you, if we had to…** ~

~ _And you still got hurt, too… I wasn't good enough…_ ~

~ _ **You could use some training, but you did fine for being as young as you are.**_ ~

Streetwise sighs before glaring at the copter. ~Blades, you're not helping!~

~ _I took too long aiming, and he got Aid. I didn't get here quick enough to keep the rest of you from getting hurt. I—_ ~

~ _ **You did your best. That's all we ask.**_ ~

I slip off the pile, and sit on the edge of the berth, my doorwings pointed to the ground.

I did my best, it wasn't much…  
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch…  
I told the truth, I didn't come to fool you…  
And even though it all went wrong…  
I'll stand before the Lord of Song…  
With nothing on my tongue but…  
Hallelujah…

I feel someone shift before sitting beside me, his arm around my back. "We've been through something similar with Aid. If you don't want to fight anymore, we won't make you."

"I-I…" I sigh softly. "I have to know how… I promised Ratchet…I'd fight for him…"

" _We_ can fight for him. Don't…don't force yourself to go against who you are. We'll fight. I told Aid I wouldn't let him be in that position again—that he wouldn't touch another weapon as long as I'm alive if that's what it took…"

I sigh softly. "You don't have to go that far, Guys. I like weapons, I just don't like pointing them at something alive. That gun I used…it's mine, from back home. I got it for Christmas when I was seventeen."

A white leg slips into my line of sight as Aid settles on my other side. "Your fire won't kill, and Groove and I could teach you Circuit-Su."

I scoff softly. "Third degree burns are just as bad, if not worse, Aid. They'd be in pain…" I shake my head. "I'm not using my fire on humans, and that's final. Cons…maybe. I don't know yet." I close my eyes, and sigh softly. "I want to be my own person, now, and who I am… I-I can't do that again. I'll have to, someday, I know, because I'm a prime, but…"

I hear a soft scoff to my right. "I'm still your commander, you know."

I giggle. "I know… I'm not undermining you, Spot, I just…" I sigh softly. "My beliefs are so contrary to what I've been taught, growing up, that I don't know what to do…" I rub my arm anxiously. "I may never know what's right…"

"You're more stubborn than Aid."

I shrug. "I'm alive, aren't I?" I glance up when I feel their surprise through the bond. "Child Abuse kills. Those who survive are prisoners of their past, for the rest of their lives. It may be that I survived because I'm too stubborn to give up." I sigh heavily as an idea comes to me. "I'll train with Hide, when we get him back, and I'll get a cannon, but I won't use it until _I'm_ ready. If the war ends before then, then so be it."

"You'd have know how to use it, though."

I turn to the copter with a mock glare. "Hence the training with Hide." I smirk. "Thought you heard that somewhere, didn't ya?"

"Come on." Spot tugs lightly on my arm. "It's late, and we need to recharge."


	12. Homesick

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

Nightmare was my reality 2.5 years ago.

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Homesick

 _It's 5:30 a.m., on a frigid January morning. I'm sleeping on a memory foam mattress pad simply because, right now, it's easier to sleep in than an actual bed. Of course, in my Transformers series fantasy world, I'm not alone, but that doesn't matter to anyone but me. I walk into my parents' room, like I do every other day, and help my Mother get dressed. She's got end-stage kidney disease, and I know she's dying. No one wants to believe me when I tell them. Once she's dressed, we move into the living room. Because of my birthfather—and Mom's real son—I can't go back to bed until they leave. I've only had two hours sleep._

 _I can hear the sound of what I assume is a four-wheel-drive truck, trying unsuccessfully to get out of the snow—which is at least five, if not six, inches deep. Aaron steps into the house and storms into the living room. "My truck's stuck."_

 _I giggle slightly. I can't help it. A four-wheel-drive truck, which can't logically get stuck, is, ironically, stuck in the snow. It ain't the first time that old blue Silverado got stuck in the snow, either. I can remember a time where my cousin Luke and I had gone back to the woods in search of a better sledding hill, and I didn't hear my phone ring because we were having so much fun._

 _"It's not f***in' funny!" He glares at me. "Get dressed and go help your brother."_

 _I turn to Mom for help, but all she does is motion for me to obey. Apparently I broke yet another unspoken rule—the one about me being Cinderella before the ball again, I have to assume. God, but I hate being abused. It's too bad no one around cares enough to listen to my cries for help._

 _Ten minutes later, I'm in the driveway, wearing my brown snow pants and a red coat, with pink mucking boots I had gotten to feed our now-dead chickens. Ironically—again—I forget socks in my already serious emotional state. If I'd been Prowl, by Primus I'd have crashed for sure!_

 _I try to tell Briar, my Aaron-act-alike brother, about the injustices done to me, only for my cries for help to once again fall on deaf ears. Now, though, those deaf ears have a mouth, and they won't stop using it. I throw down my shovel and start running. I'd rather die than stay trapped inside this rapidly breaking shell—then again, I've felt that way since I lost Mam ten years ago…so…_

 _I barely make it parallel to a power pole before I fall to my knees. Not only am I half asleep, but I wasn't made for such manual labor, and I'm already dead-on-my-feet from what little I've done so far. I can see some kind of vehicle out the corner of my eye, but I'm too tired and upset to bother paying attention to it._

 _"I just wanted you to help me."_

 _Great. The fragger just came out and saw my sorry attempt at running. Primus, if he's not Megatron in human skin. My determination to stay alive out-weighs my common sense, and I go back to my abuser, almost willingly. By now, I've learned how to disguise my fear as contempt._

 _He sees my supposed contempt and throws a shovel full of snow on my head. I can see the dirt in the show even as I'm brushing it off my head. Primus, but I hate being dirty! I look in the pink and black shovel—belonging to my aunt—and find a single snowball. Instantly, I throw the snowball catapult-style at him, only to have a second shovel full of snow thrown in my face this time. It's by a sheer force of willpower that I don't cry. He, like the cons, sees that as a weakness._

 _Briar then pulls his truck free and leaves for work._

 _I turn to the violent man as he glares at me. I'm getting to the end of my strength. The only thing keeping me from breaking down now, is a slim hope. A hope, that's quickly vanishing._

 _"You have this driveway clear by the time I get home, or I'm going to drown you, and if you go back to bed, I'll throw water on you until you drown."_

* * *

 **Real World**

I whimper, but otherwise stay still. The others are curled up around and under me—Hot Spot under the rest of us, Blades on the right, Aid on the left, and Street and Groove draped over top. I'd curled on top—as usual, because of my doorwings.

* * *

 _I run into my room the second they're out of sight. One hand's holding my Intensity III while I pack with shocking abandon. Primus help me not forget anything I need!_

 _"Hello?"_

 _Damn. It's my best friend. She's only thirteen, and I want to protect her innocence. "I need to talk to your mom." Damn it! My panic is more than evident in my voice._

 _"Mom's in the shower. What happened?"_

 _Frag it all. They know about Aaron. That's why I called her to begin with. "Aaron. He threatened to drown me in a bucket of water!"_

* * *

 _"I'll be walking. I can't stay here. If he gets home…" I trail off. She's smart enough to know what my abuser will do to me. I hang up with her before updating Dad, then settle in for a long walk._ _She picks me up halfway to her house, after rescuing her stranded husband. He'd gotten a flat on his way to work._

* * *

 _We barely walk in before both their house phone and my own cell go off. Aaron's on mine, while Mom's on theirs._

 _Mom and Aaron call us, causing Violet's mother to take me home. She does, causing me to curl up on April's couch. I'm exhausted, and Jackson wants my pillowpet, so I try to wave him away, to no avail._

 _Not five minutes later, Aaron storms in and starts yelling at me in front of April's kids, claiming, amongst other things, that everything I own that is now on April's couch belongs to him. He then tells me to shovel the five-foot drift to the other side of the drive, so I dial 911 before he comes out._

 _"911. What's your emergency?"_

 _"My Birthdad—this morning, he-he threatened to drown me, and now he's forcing me to move this drift because I called a friend for help. She—she said I needed to call if he started in a-again."_

 _"I'll send a unit out."_

 _"Thanks. B-bye…"_

 _As I prepare to call Dad, Aaron comes out, causing me to slip the phone away quickly. It wouldn't do for me to lose my communication with everything else, and that's usually the first thing he takes._

 _I start shoveling, mentally praying—no, begging—God will have him still violent when the cops pull up. Of course, he's not, but rather sitting in the van watching me. The second that cruiser pulls up, I run over and duck behind the chunkier officer, knowing he'll provide the most protection._

* * *

I start awake with a sharp gasp, then rub the back of my neck when I find myself curled into the other Protectobots. "That's a first…" I've never had a nightmare when in a group before, and I've never felt this lonely with such an attentive family before.

I sigh and climb out of the pile carefully before starting down to the living room, then turn on the TV, settling for Rescue Bots before leaning back against the couch. I need a good distraction.

* * *

 **Third POV**

Blades stirs, and stares after the femme for a moment before glancing back to the others. They're still recharging, and haven't even noticed she's gone. He sighs before following her.

* * *

 **Normal POV**

While this is the first time I've had a nightmare that bad, it's not the first time I've missed my old family since I got here—that started moments after I left. Even so, I don't wanna go back to them. I'm safe now—even if I do miss my old country home, and my grandfather's house. Besides…

I feel just like I'm living  
Someone else's life  
It's like I just stepped outside  
When everything was going right

I sigh heavily. "I never thought I'd start to miss him like this…"

"Miss who?"

I start before glancing behind me, shrugging when I see Blades. "My abuser. I just—" I sigh heavily. "First actual memory-based nightmare I've ever had, and it reminded me of how much I miss my human family…even the mean ones." I look down as he sits beside me. "I don't want the others to know, though…"

"We won't judge you."

I sigh. "I know, Blades, it's just…" I sigh softly. "I love having understanding brothers for once, but…" I laugh drily. "I see what Aid meant, when he said gestalts could annoy each other just like normal siblings do." I lean on him slightly. "It's not the no-secrets thing that bothers me, either—that, or the need-for-alone-time I get sometimes—"

"I think we all have that at some point. Groove's a loner at spark, after all." He sighs. "Why'd you leave, instead of just waking us up?"

I shrug. "I never wanted to wake my parents either. If I couldn't climb in without waking someone, I'd usually just curl up on the floor, so they wouldn't get mad."

"We won't get mad, and Spot's gonna be worried sick when he wakes up and you're not there."

"You're not there either."

He shrugs. "I followed you."

"Obviously."

"Hey, I was _worried_. Aid does the same thing after we have bad calls now, and after the really bad battles and missions before that. He's fine during the day, but—"

"It all comes back at night. He told me." I sigh softly. "I'm calm when it counts, too, but I usually crumble right after whatever's over. I react right away afterwards, where he holds off until recharge." I shrug. "Hence my being down here. Not even two weeks after I meet you guys, and… I almost lost you all last night."

"We're fine, Mari. We've survived worse."

"It just…" I rub the back of my neck. "Brought everything back, from Ratchet, too. I saw the movie a little over a month after I lost my mother, which means only six months after I had to call the police. It all ties together, Blades. Almost losing you guys may have caused that nightmare, because it was still so fresh the last time I saw Cemetery Wind, and… He told me to shoot him… God, Blades… I know you don't see things the way I do, but I don't think I can do that again."

"At least you didn't completely freeze up again…" I glare up at him half-heartedly. "I—" He sighs as he finds the remote and switches off the TV at a point where his counterpart is complaining about flying yet again. "It scared me, when you did that. Spot was trying to comfort you, and you just kept getting worse."

I glance down. "It was the bunnies. They were so tiny, and innocent, and soft—I can still feel their little ears, and see the tooth marks on the one…" I sigh softly. "Their mother had been eaten by a dog, and someone had just left them at Family Dollar. I couldn't leave them there, but no one let me care. I was supposed to be hard and unfeeling enough to shoot the animal who just follows instincts… Like he does, so often…" I look down at my lap. "Like I did yesterday…" I sigh before looking back up to him. "I try every day to not be him, Blades, and usually I do a pretty good job…" I lay my head on his shoulder. "But yesterday only proves that I can just as easily go his route…" I whimper. "His…Megatron-like, cowardly route…" I sigh. "I'm like Aid, yes, but some days it's a battle not to do what he would—not to follow my head, instead of my heart." I turn and bury my head into his shoulder before starting to cry softly.

He sighs before hugging me, then turns to me once I calm down. "Ready to get back to recharge?" I nod. "Good…" He smiles down at me. "Just… Don't tell Spot I can be as soft as Aid…"

"Hey. He probably already knows." I shrug. "You guys function best out of all the combiners because of your shared mentality. You've all got a soft side, it's just that some have it bigger than others, and some of them hide it like Ratchet or Heatwave. You'd take a con out with your rotors, but I'm sure you'd be just as good at EMS if you tried." I shrug when he gives me a look. "Rescue Bots counterpart. You have a few similarities to him."

* * *

We climb back into the berth. I curl into Hot Spot carefully, trying not to wake him… Even though he's already awake. "Where were you?"

Slag. "Downstairs. I'm okay now, though. Just a nightmare."

He shifts. "You should have woken us up…"

Blades sighs. "She woke me up."

"I didn't mean to…"

Hot Spot sighs before glancing from me to Blades. "You took care of her?"

I sigh. "He's not just a brawler, you know… We wouldn't meld so easy as Defensor if he was."

"I know." He glances to Blades. "He's just never admitted to it before."

I shrug. "I can make the bad guys good for a weekend…" I nuzzle under his chin with a smile. "But right now, I wanna 'charge."

* * *

 **Third POV**

As she drifts off, Hot Spot and Blades share a look. "What. Did she. Just say?"

"I think it was from one of her songs…"

"I know that." Hot Spot sighs. "She's never done that before, though."

Blades sighs. "She'd better not make me go soft on the cons…"

"Don' wanna… Dey 'serve i', kill Wat'et."

The two share a look before laughing softly. "She won't kill 'em herself, but she's not gonna try to stop me either."

Hot Spot nods slightly, not wanting to wake the femme now recharging with her head under his chin. "We need to cycle down before we wake the others."


	13. Kittens

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Kittens

 **The Next Morning**

I sigh softly as I step outside. It's warmer than it has been—not that it really matters, because it's still winter—but the snow's starting to melt, and it's starting to feel like spring. I know it's only 35̊, but to me, it feels almost warm.

 _Meow?_

' _Speaking of spring…_ ' I look around for my cats before spotting a long-haired calico looking up at me fearfully. ' _She looks like a baby still…_ ' I kneel to her and pull out the bag of treats I've started carrying in a compartment on my frame, then hold one out to her. "Here you go, Little One."

She takes it and runs for the entrance to the medical bay. I look closer when I see something curled in the snow, almost in a little pile. "Oh. My. God." I'm suddenly aware of how cold it is out here, to them. ~ _AID!_ ~

~ _Mari!? What's wrong? Where are you?_ ~

~ _Outside the medbay. I'm fine, but…_ ~

~ _ **Mari? What's wrong, Little Sis?**_ ~

~ _Kittens. It's way too cold out here, and they're curled up on cement… We have to do something, Aid. They can't survive like this!_ ~

~ _I'm on my way. Try to keep them warm._ ~

~ _Okay…_ ~ I kneel to them and hold my hands over the small pile, not even trying to count them while they're still out here in the snow.

~ _ **If you can't—**_ ~

~ _I lost a three week old kitten once, Spot. I can't watch another kitten die…not like this… It was heart-wrenching enough being told to give up on him the week before. I-I can't lose another kitten!_ ~ It's all I can do to keep my pain out of the bond as everything from Frosty's short life comes back to me, my helplessness at the forefront. ~ _I can't…_ ~

I feel a hand on my shoulder. ~ _And we won't let you…_ ~ He looks over them gently before sighing. ~ _Groove, I need a couple of Mari's old towels._ ~

I take a deep breath and let it out. Now that I'm past the initial grief over my lost kitten, I'm in my element. ~ _And bring some water, and some of Winky's food. The mom's gonna need it._ ~ I scoop the pile up gently, whispering comfortingly to them as I do. ~ _They're less than a week old…_ ~ I reach up and take the towels from Groove and make a small, but soft, nest in one corner of the medical bay. ~ _Spot, think you could find the mom? She's small, and tri-colored…_ ~

~ _ **I'm on it.**_ ~

~ _Just don't scare her._ ~

* * *

I smile down at the kittens curled up together in the nest, barely paying their nearby mother any mind. She's warm, and safe, and I don't think she minds being indoors. The next few hours will tell us more on that. I shift down to human form and run a finger over the nearest head.

~They're so little…~

~ _They're supposed to be, Street._ ~

~ **You're sure you know what to do?** ~

~ _I've raised an orphaned kitten before, and, though_ he _didn't make it, the ones I helped with three years ago did. Besides that, I've cared for a nursing mother before. We don't need to do much unless Mom disappears, and it's not that hard._ ~

~ _ **Do they always recharge like that?**_ ~

~ _ **They look kind of like a gestalt, curled up like that…**_ ~

~ _Yes, and I know. They can't regulate their temperature at this age, Spot. They need the warmth, and the best way is to curl up with Mom._ ~

~ _But she's—_ ~ Aid motions to the mother, who's exploring the medbay.

~ _Mother cats are usually really good with their babies. It's rare for one to be abandoned._ ~ I sigh softly as I look at the back of my arm. ~ _I've been scratched, bit, poked, treed…and cuddled, for intervening._ ~

~ _Poked?_ ~

~ _Winky's mother, Brownnozer, was so quick in her attacks, she'd only leave tiny poke-marks, rather than long scratches. Leia would scratch—leave long, painful, bleeding cuts, Lily would bite…Sparkle would tree me…_ ~

~ _ **Tree you?**_ ~

~ _And there's the embarrassing story from my childhood…_ ~

~ _ **Thought you couldn't remember any?**_ ~

~ _Thank the kittens._ ~ I giggle in spite of myself. ~ _I'd grabbed one of her kittens, and as I said, mother cats are protective… Well…_ ~ I break off into another fit of giggles. ~ _The kitten was meowing so bad—he was scared, which is normal when a kitten that young is picked up by what is, to them, a giant hand—and she started after me._ ~ I send them the image of the angry, almost all white calico cat running after me, then my climbing onto a picnic table. ~ _I only wanted to hold him, but I gave him back. She was fine once she had her baby back, but I was sad… I wanted kitty cuddles 'cause I couldn't have other cuddles…_ ~

Spot reaches down and picks me up. ~ _ **We're here now…**_ ~

I shriek at the sudden hand lifting me. I'd been too busy "cat-grannying", as Mom called it, to notice him. ~ _Whelp, now I know what the kitten felt…_ ~

~ _ **Sorry…**_ ~

I shake my head. ~ _You're fine. My fault. I wasn't paying attention._ ~

~ _ **That's no excuse for me to scare you.**_ ~

~ _Startled. I was only startled._ ~ I nuzzle into his hand. ~ _You're sneaky for being so big._ ~ I giggle. ~ _At least I didn't fall in a hole…_ ~ I shrug. ~ _Did get stuck in a tree, though…_ ~

~ _ **How'd you—**_ ~

~ _Cross seeker-like sky hunger—I like to be up high—with a fear of heights—I hate looking down…makes me dizzy…_ ~

~ _ **Like Silverbolt?**_ ~

I nod. ~ _Or Prime-verse Blades. He's acrophobic too…_ ~

~An acrophobic helicopter?~

I want to snap at him about TV Tropes and Acrophobic Birds being a thing, but it's so quiet in here my ears are ringing, and I don't want to break the silence. ~ _Silver's an acrophobic bird, so's Aligned's Blades._ ~

~Acrophobic bird?~

~ _Get on the internet and look up TV Tropes. You'll find a mention of Silver, and you'll find their Blades, too._ ~

* * *

 **Midnight**

I sigh softly and slip out of the pile before starting for the stairs. I have to check on the babies. Once I'm outside, I shift down to my human form, rubbing my arms against the chill. "Shoulda grabbed a coat…" I sigh heavily before starting for the medical bay, and the litter of kittens I had moved to the area next to the door, inside and out of the cold. They're only a few days old, and I can't let them die.

I kneel beside the nest Aid and I had set up, only finding one small calico inside. "Damn…" I look around before grabbing an abandoned blue cloth, and quickly wrap the trembling thing into it before sticking her into my shirt. It's okay, Little One. It's okay. Let's get you inside before you freeze."

* * *

 **Inside**

I run for the library, barely remembering to shut the back door in my rush. I quickly find the book I'm looking for—the one with the emergency kitten formula recipe—and turn to the page before running to the kitchen. I step over to the human-sized corner they'd set up with my favorite treats, and a few kitchen supplies, and pull out a bowl before mixing the recipe. Once it's together, I carry the bowl and an eyedropper I'd found, and settle on the couch. After turning on the TV and playing all the recorded episodes of Rescue Bots, I pull a little into the eyedropper, then feed the now-warm kitten one drop at a time while listening to my favorite cartoon.

Once the kitten stops eating, I head into the kitchen and clean up before finishing with the kitten, then walk back over to the couch and set her on my lap. I'm too tired to bother with finding a bed for her right now, my cats hate newcomers, and I can't take her back into the berth room with me. She'd get smooshed.

 _"It just ran out of energon."_

I look up to the TV screen with a soft gasp. I didn't realize the season three finale was the first two episodes on our new DVR.

 _"So, we can't steer now?"_

 _"Or move. We're stuck here."_

 _"We're not stuck, we're falling." They all scream._

 _"Inconvenient."_

 _"We'll fall out of the sky if we don't get those windmills moving."_

 _"Hurry."_

 _"Dad, we can't keep this up much longer."_

 _Charlie turns to his children sadly. "I know, son, but if we fail, we'll fail giving it our best try."_

 _Chase glances down at him. "Spoken like a true Rescue Bot."_

 _Heatwave sigh softly. "Chief, we have an alternate power source. Energon can buy you time."_

 _"No. You can't give us your energy to keep the dome up. That would mean—"_

 _"Cody, you taught us everything we know about humans, and that includes doing whatever you can to protect those you care about."_

 _"Being a Rescue Bot is about serving, saving, and protecting those in need."_

I whimper softly. I can't help it—I'm barely keeping myself together as-is. I hear someone come downstairs, but don't bother to pay them any attention. I know I kinda snuck out, but I'd had a bad feeling about the kittens—and I'm glad I did, in hindsight.

 _"That's the what, but your family gave us the reason why."_

 _"I can't let you sacrifice yourselves for us."_

 _"With all due respect, sir, it's not your call." Heatwave turns to his team. "Rescue Bots, roll to the rescue."_

"Rescue Bots, roll to the rescue…" I blink back tears and pause the show long enough to get myself back together—right as they're starting to show where they're all hooked up to the dome. "And keep rolling on…"

"Everything okay?" I glance up to find Blades standing over me, and nod. "Then why'd you come down here?" He glances over me. "And why are you in your human form?"

I sigh softly. "I had a bad feeling about those kittens we found, and went out to check on them. She abandoned the smallest one, Blades. I…I can't come back to berth, because she'll get smooshed." I sigh. "And, I'll have to get up every couple hours for the next week or so, so we have to find a safe way to keep her with us, and we can't do that tonight."

He sighs before sitting beside me. "I'll stay with you."

"You don't—"

He glances at the TV. "I don't think I've seen this one before…"

I glance up to him before crawling into his lap, kitten and all. "Don't think you'd want to…" I rub the back of my neck. "I've been researching, into this continuity…" I sigh softly. "Defensor's in a book that goes along with it, Blades, meaning…" I blink. I'm closer to crying than I had been over the Rescue Bots giving the lives no one knows they have. "Blades, _you're_ in Aligned…Spot's in Aligned…Aid's in Aligned…Groove…Street…" I shake my head before nuzzling into him. "And Optimus tells them they're the last rescue squad in the first episode…"

"We're offline…"

I look up into red optics. "Hi, Spot… This isn't what it looks like."

"You're not down here crying over our not existing in this show?"

I blink before sighing. "Well, I wasn't _at_ _first_. Blades showed up, and it reminded me of what I'd been looking into…" I nod to my lap. "I had a bad feeling about the kittens, and I have a sixth sense, so I had to check on them. She was the only one in the nest we made…her mom abandoned her, Aid…"

"The poor little thing…did you—"

"Fed her, made sure she pottied, washed the eye dropper, and stored the emergency formula in the fridge." I reach over and hit the play button.

"Whatcha watching?"

I glance up at them. " _Today and Forever_."

"What?" Spot settles beside me.

"You don't wanna know." I motion to the screen. Aid reaches over with a gentle hand and takes the kitten from me.

 _Kade turns to Heatwave. "Almost home, Heatwave. Just hang in there."_

 _"Just remember…you're gonna owe me big for this."_

 _"Heatwave? Heatwave." He reaches up to his comm. "Dad, the bots can't take much more of this. They're getting too weak."_

 _Chase leans back against the dome brace as Charlie sighs. "I know, son, but we have to respect their choice. As much as we hate it."_

 _In the third quadrant, Boulder falls to his knees. "Buddy, you okay?"_

 _Dani's climbing up to Blades' face as his hand goes limp. "Cody, how close are we?"_

 _"Nearly there."_

A sob slips out as I turn and burry my face into the living equivalent of the mech I'm currently crying over—first time for everything, I guess… Usually I'm crying over Heatwave. He just sits there with one finger on my back, watching as the island is returned to its place.

I glance back when I hear the soft splash, still quietly sobbing.

 _Kade looks up to Heatwave. "Heatwave? Come on, you bucket of bolts. Wake up." He climbs to Heatwave's face. "What's the point of saving our home if you're not gonna be here anymore?"_

 _Optimus walks over. "You would've done the same for him, Kade."_

Aid sighs softly. "Primus…"

 _"Our medic has seen to the Rescue Bots and given them several energon transfusions."_

 _Cody looks up to Optimus. "Are they going to be okay?"_

 _A voice comes from around the corner that makes the Burns Family turn in shock. "About time you showed up."_

 _Cody runs over and peers around the corner to find the four of them sitting on crates. "Noble."_

 _"Chase decided to "entertain" us while we were recovering by reading us police manuals."_

 _Boulder looks down at them. "With footnotes."_

 _Blades raises a hand, the infusion tube still connected with energon flowing into his frame. "In all of Earth's languages."_

 _Chase holds up a finger. "Did you know there are similar laws in every culture? Mankind truly is a fascinating species."_

 _Blades facepalms._

Comically, the one I'm on does as well, which—thankfully—makes me laugh. "Thanks, Blades. I needed that." I pause before laughing harder. I just quoted Aligned Ratchet…again.

"The medic…"

"Is Ratchet, Aid. Heatwave has Medix, but he's only in the toys and books…not this." I wave to the TV.

Spot turns off the TV, then runs a finger over my head. I'd forgotten I was still in human form. "You're upset."

I sigh softly. "Wave almost died, Blades almost died… I'd be lying if I said I wasn't—"

"You were upset when we went to berth, Mari."

I look down slightly. "I've been researching Aligned." I wave to the now-dark TV. "The continuity, with Rescue Bots, and Prime, and RID 2015…" I sigh softly. "It's got three books, and two games that tie into it…a-and Defensor's in the books…a-and maybe in the games…"

"Mari?"

"Defensor's in the books, even i-if you're not mentioned as separate entities, a-and he's not in Prime, a-and Optimus t-tells them in the first episode, of Rescue Bots, t-that th-they're th-the l-last Rescue team, which means Defensor's offline, a-and—" I cling to his finger as he picks me up. I shift to my bot form and cuddle into his armor after he sets me in his lap.

"We're right here…"

I nod, but continue. "I-I was thinking today… What would Blades be like, i-if he was the last one… Th-this one… H-he's got courage, and he's stubborn, for being so scared…he's a hotshot…reckless at times…"

Streetwise steps up behind the couch. He'd gone into the kitchen for something while I was talking. "You're trying to figure out if they're the same mech." He sets a warm cube into my hands. "It's warmed sweet-en. It should help you relax."

I nod. "Because Defensor's _in_ Aligned, Street. _You're_ in Aligned. There's only one thing that would have happened, if Wave's team is the _last surviving rescue squad_."

"We died…"

I nod. "Maybe leaving one behind." I sigh softly. "I got the tip from a fanfic, which is why I'm doing so much research on them…" I blink quickly, trying to fight off tears. "But just the _idea_ that he could be the last of a gestalt… It's tearing my spark in two…"

Streetwise settles beside me. "What clues have you found?"

"Reckless moments… Shock about their "not being active"… His fear of flying, which only comes up because of the fan-written story I read… He's cuddly, when no one else cares to cuddle…"

"He craves the closeness others fear, just like you did?"

I nod. "Right. I was attracted to him from episode one, because he reminded me of myself." I sigh softly. "And I got to thinking, while I was feeding Jasper…" I'd decided to name the little calico Jasper, since I've already got a Miko, and it stems from the Aligned continuity as well. "How much would our Blades change, if he had been the one left on base, and Aid had gone to the moon prison? Would he be afraid…especially of losing what he had left? Would he still want to fly, after the ship you were coming back on was hit, or would he become as scared as Silver? Would he have a change of spark about brawling, and choose to change his ways, like their Blades—who had wheels on Cybertron—said in Echoes—the fanfic—that he liked being a copter at the same time he'd hated it, because it had been Groove's form." I sigh softly. "How would his personality change…if he was the last of his kind?" I drink the warm energon while watching Blades' uncharacteristic borderline panic—at least, uncharacteristic for the one with us.

"I don't know, Mari. I-I…" Blades sighs heavily. "Aid wasn't the only one lost, over the vorns we spent away…"

I look up to Spot as I hand Street the empty cube. ~ _How'd you handle it, without…_ ~ I don't even want to think about other rescue bots off-lining right now. I just watched Wave's team fall again.

~ _ **We took turns, grieving. As long as we didn't all fall apart at once, we could survive, and maybe make it back.**_ ~

~And we did, vorns later, only to learn Aid had blocked all memory of us…~

~ **He panicked, and pushed past us, to get to Ratchet… It really hurt…** ~

~ _It was the only way I could stay alive… Ratchet needed me… I hated the thought, but…_ ~

I pat his hand with one hand while squeezing Groove's with the other. "You're all together now, and I'm here too. It's okay… You got through it… No more grieving…" Aid simply stares at me. "What? I was the rock for Mom and Pap at Mam's funeral. I can be the strong one now, too."

"You were about to cry over another version of Blades."

I shrug before turning to Streetwise. "I've been that way off and on since last September, goofball. Being autistic means I'm stoic. I won't react the way others would expect me to."

"So…" He sighs. "You weren't reading a story off your phone yesterday?"

"Actually, I was, but it was connected to my research." I sigh softly. "Echoes, Street. I was reading Echoes." I look over to the helicopter beside me. "About my copter-related questions… My spark tells me he'd kinda do a 180̊, then maybe another 90̊ when they came back—still a brawler, but not as eager to fight as before—but my mind tells me that's stupid, because what battle loving mech suddenly turns pacifist?"

Blades sighs. "I don't know what to think…"

I sigh softly. "It's a theory I have with theirs, Blades. Don't put too much stock into it." I shrug at their looks. "It's a theory I'm still trying to prove, and I might never be able to." I sigh heavily. "I need season four… I need more episodes, slag it! I don't have enough information!"

"And you look exhausted. Come back to berth."

"The kitten… She needs fed during the night for at least the next week…"

Aid sighs. "I'll get up with her, and we'll work out a night feeding schedule tomorrow." He shrugs when I give him a look. "I've done it before, Mari. I can do it again."

I look around, suddenly remembering I don't have Jasper anymore. "Where's Jaspie?"

"I've got her. She's safe." Aid sets her in my hand before I panic any worse.

Streetwise turns to me. "He cried, when we thought we'd lost Aid. He just…broke down…sobbing…" He sighs softly. "Like you did, when you shot that guy night before last… Because Aid was alone, if he was still alive…alive, and alone, and the bond broken…"

I sigh and put an arm around the cruiser as we step through the door to our shared berth room. "I'm the one who's supposed to be upset about this, Street…" Blades turns to give me a look. "Street gave me the last piece to the puzzle." I sigh softly. "I needed to know how he'd react, to losing a brother. Multiply that reaction by four, and…"

Aid steps in with a small white basket and a couple more cloths. "He might never get back to who he was, even if they came back…" He sets the basket in the far corner before putting Jasper into her new bed.

"A 270̊."

"A 270̊?"

"180̊ plus 90̊. He'd go from being a brawler, to more like Aid, then go half-way back to himself if they came back—still a street fighter, but less likely to go all-out as he does now."


	14. Moments with Aid

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

I'm sorry if this isn't up to par. I was in the middle of this chapter when I was abandoned by my father.

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Moments With Aid

 **Valentines' Day, 4:00 am**

I shift out of the cuddle pile silently before sneaking downstairs. It's Valentines' day—my first one as a Protectobot, and I want to do something special—not the possibly dangerous way, like putting food coloring in Energon—that's a big NO—but I'd love to be able to make something for them… I just don't know what…

I can't help but smile when I find some party decorations stashed away—probably from some celebration eons ago, but just the right colors for this project. For the last finishing touch, I quietly run upstairs and grab five red and one pink heart-shaped glass bowls the same dimensions as a normal-sized energon cube, and a pack of paper lace hearts. After setting each new dish at a seat and taping the hearts to the cabinets, I slip soundlessly out to the medical bay. Ratchet's almost ready to be revived.

"Hey, Big Guy. It's me again." I take his hand in mine, ignoring the multitude of welds on his leg, courtesy of my brother, and the ones on his helm where the armor had been melted away by KSI. "Aid says we'll be able to bring you back today… Primus, I can't wait to see you alive, in person…" I smile weakly as a tear rolls down my face. "These last few hours are agonizing, but they probably are for you, too. Here you are…you've been happy in the well for two years, and now we're gonna pull you back out again." I sigh. "When I put it like that, it almost makes me decide against reviving you…" I smile gently. "But Aid still needs you, and I need you…and the Autobots need you…"

"Mari?" I feel a hand on my shoulder. Ratchet's hand slips out of mine, back onto the metal berth with a clang that causes me to jump. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing, and you're still _mostly_ human."

"Hey, Aid…" I glance over my shoulder at him. "If that's the case, why are you out here?"

"Couldn't recharge…"

I scoff slightly. "I never should have played AOE last night…"

"You too?" I shake my head, only to get a glare from Aid. "You don't get up until six at the earliest, now you're not only up, but if the new design in the kitchen tells me anything, you've been up for at least half an hour already—and that's assuming you've got more energy than Spot usually does."

"Excitement…" I sigh heavily. "And you got me."

He sighs. "I'll go back if you'll come with me."

I sigh before standing and turning to him. "All right." I sigh softly. "What _really_ upset you, about the movie?"

"They kill without thinking…" He steps over and lays a hand on his mentors—the one I had just dropped. "Even Lockdown did…"

I smile slightly and lay a hand on his. "We'll remedy that soon enough, Aid."

"That's what set you off, when it came out, isn't it?"

Since I had forced myself to be a rock for Aid during, and after, the movie, so the normally unshakable medic could let himself grieve, they weren't able to learn what part of the movie upset me the most. "One of them…Optimus taking off into space with that stab wound wasn't really comforting, you know, but…" I run a hand over Ratchet's head. "Losing him, was really the hardest part, and I had read about the possibility three months before—on my birthday, no less…"

I look at my feet as Aid steps over and pulls me in for a hug. "We'll get through this. We only have a few hours before we revive him."

I shudder slightly. "Before I revive him. You don't have the blue inferno."

He laughs softly. "No, I don't." He lays a hand on my shoulder. "But I plan on staying out here with you when you revive him. Spot might too…" He smiles sheepishly. "Never thought I'd be the one to take someone back to our berth…"

"If you'd stop sneaking off like this, no one would take anyone back to our berth…"

The two of us turn around to see Hot Spot standing in the doorway with a worried look and his arms crossed. I rub the back of my neck. "Sorry, Spot…" I sigh softly. "I never should have put Age of Extinction in last night…"

His arms fall to his sides. "Mari…" He crosses the room before laying a hand on my shoulder. ~ _ **You okay?**_ ~

~ _I am now… Decorated some…talked with Ratch and Aid…_ ~

~ _We're so close to being able to bring him back, Spot… She's a little nervous…_ ~

~You found them?~

~ _ **Mari keeps changing her hiding places. Found them both where Aid started going when we moved in here.**_ ~

~ _ **Slag! I was sure she'd still be in the living room!**_ ~

~ **After watching that movie? Blades, she was more likely to be found with Ratchet than watching Rescue Bots!** ~

~ _Blades, I was—well, I was in the kitchen, but then I needed to see Ratch, and I used to go hide in the shed back home when things got to be too much. I never wanted to meltdown in front of anyone… That's why I run…_ ~

~ _ **Mari…**_ ~

~ _Now you all get my volatile emotions anyway, so all I'm really doing by hiding is causing more trouble for all involved._ ~

~That was fast…~

~ _Not really. I know you guys care about me, but it's a tough habit to break. I'd always hide from Aaron, then I'd hide from Dad when he caused me to meltdown._ ~

~ _Now you're hiding from us when you're upset…_ ~

~ _And I don't want to…_ ~ I'm a little surprised when Hot Spot picks me up before starting back for the house with Aid beside him, but not as much as I would be if Dad hadn't done the same thing every Sunday morning when I was little.

~ _ **I want the two of you to recharge. Ratchet can wait a few more hours.**_ ~

~ _But…_ ~

~ _ **Mari…**_ ~

~ _I wanted us together for breakfast…_ ~

~ _ **We'll wait for the two of you, Mari. You both need to recharge.**_ ~ He sighs. ~ _ **Guess I should have expected Aid to start disappearing again after Mari started doing the same thing.**_ ~

~ _She's always done it, she just never had someone as attentive as us around before._ ~

~ _Dad used to search for me… But then he'd upset me more, so I had to be creative when I hid… He never wanted to listen to what I needed, just to force me to follow his wishes…_ ~

~ _ **Oh, Mari…**_ ~

~ _Don't, Spot. I'm okay…_ ~ I nuzzle into his shoulder. ~ _I have what I need now…_ ~

He sets me down on the edge of the berth before Aid and I, then the rest of us, clamber back on top of him. I drift off against his chest, listening to his spark.

* * *

 **Valentines' Day, 8:00 Am**

Aid and I wake up curled into each other, the others nowhere to be found. As usual, his hands are under his chin, while I'm on my side with one hand under my head and the other around Aid. I've quickly learned that sensitive hands are normal for Cybertronian medics, and, even though I'm used to pain, it still almost takes me down. Still, I'd rather have them wrapped around my brothers at night, then under my chin like Aid's.

I still don't know how many times I've woken up in the middle of the night in pain from someone pinching or laying on my hand in their recharge, or the usual human issue of my hands being asleep, but I'd rather have that, than still be curled up against a sleeping bag stuffed with blankets.

I pull my hand back and rub it lightly before moving to the equally sore wrist, using pressure to ease my pain. "Did I—"

I shake my head. "If you did, it would have been because I had it draped over you to begin with."

He smiles slightly. "Want me to help?"

"If you want to…" I hold my other hand out, having finished with the one I'd been working on. "Watch the wrist, though. It's not as bad as my foot, but it still tends to give me trouble."

"I remember, and I'll be careful." He starts rubbing it before continuing. "Why risk it?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why do you put your hands where they could get hurt when they're so sensitive?"

I sigh softly. "I'm still afraid you'll all leave…"

"We're not going to leave you." He sets my hand on my knee before putting an arm around me. "We're your brothers. We'll be right here when you need us."

"Thanks, Aid…" I push myself up before rubbing the wrist I'd done myself. "Slagit…"

"Mari?"

"Ow…"

" _Ow_? What happened?"

I shake my head and start for the door. "Just my slaggin' wrist again. Nothing you need to worry about…" I rub the back of my neck with my good hand. "Just wish my braces were Cybertronian sized…"

"I could see what we have in the medbay…"

I smile at him over my shoulder. "Thanks, Aid…let's—"

"What's going on?"

I turn to the fire-bot with a sigh. "Slagged wrist's acting up…" I hold out my right hand.

"Did we do that?"

I shake my head. "I'm the one who insists on clinging to you five, not you guys… I'll live." I shrug. "Aid's going to see what he can do—" I turn to the mech in question. " _After_ breakfast."

"You want us out there when you bring him back?"

I force myself to stay calm, because of course I need them close, I'm their baby sister, and the bonds are so new, and I'm so young, that it's hard for me to handle being away from them, but I don't want them to feel forced into it. "I'll be fine…"

~ _ **Mari…**_ ~

~ _Really. You've all got things to do, and I'll just be in the way…_ ~

~ _ **We can do it later. If you need us…**_ ~

~ **Don't close yourself off, Mariposa. We're here for you…** ~

~ _ **Aid does that enough for both of you.**_ ~

~ _Blades…_ ~ Aid sighs heavily.

~We didn't do anything like what you're doing to yourself when we were sparklings, Mari. Wheeljack didn't even try to separate us until we were several orns…~

~ _And even then, it wasn't for very long. You threw yourself into you medical training, and you've pushed yourself so far your nerve condition is starting to flare._ ~

~ _I'm used to it, Aid, and it flares when it fragged well pleases, whether I'm moving a lot or not._ ~

~ _ **I don't want to be there when she finally breaks. It won't be pretty…**_ ~

~ _ **BLADES!**_ ~ Hot Spot sighs heavily before turning to me. ~ _ **Just…just let us know, when you're hurt…**_ ~

~ _I did, and I will, Spot._ ~ I hug him tightly. ~ _Trust me. I'm sensitive to pain—I can tolerate a lot, but I'm still sensitive to it—and I just can't handle as much as Aid can…_ ~

~ _I can't handle that much either, Mari…_ ~

Hot Spot sighs softly, his arms still wrapped around me. ~ _ **And don't…it took us over a vorn before we were ready to be apart for more than a few joor at most. Don't force yourself to handle something you can't… You're still really young by our standards, and we don't mind crowding into the medbay if it means you'll be more secure. You wouldn't be forcing us into anything, because we want to be there for you. We're your brothers, Mari. We won't abandon you…**_ ~

~ _Want you…_ ~

He smiles down at me. ~ _ **Then we'll be there. Just let us know when you're ready.**_ ~

~ _Okay…_ ~


	15. Bringing Ratchet On-Line

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

Last finished chapter...

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Bringing Ratchet Online

As soon as we're finished with our morning energon—from the heart-shaped bowls, of course—Aid takes me out to the medical bay and motions for me to sit on the berth while he gets a scanner. After not finding any new damage, he huffs softly before searching around for something he can use to make a soft brace.

He returns within a few minutes with what looks like a rubber version of a human's shape wear. "Aid…"

"I saw the braces you'd been using…I just assumed…" He sighs softly. "Did I—"

I shake my head before taking it from him to get a better look at it. "It just looked weird to me at first…"

"The ones you use in your human form looked painful…and you said it was your wrist…"

"They are, and it is." I shrug and set the black ring on the berth. "I usually had to cushion the spots between my fingers with band-aids. It was annoying, and they pulled some of my skin off if I had to wear it for more than a few days—the band-aids, not the braces—but the elastic Velcro stuff at the wrist is amazing at supporting my wrist while still allowing me to move it."

"Then we'll see how this works…" He slips it on my right wrist. "If it doesn't help, then we'll try something else." He sighs heavily. "How's your foot been? I've been trying to make something you can use for it…"

I smile gently. "It's all right for now, Aid. I'll let you guys know if it starts acting up." I glance out the window. "I'm surprised it's doing so good, actually, with all the snow outside…"

"Snow makes it worse?"

" _Cold_ makes it worse." I smile. "But it's been fine so far—achy, but that's normal, so I'm not going to mention it to Spot. No temperature changes means no flares, and I can handle the minor aches for now. I'll let Spot know if it gets worse." I shrug at the skeptical look I'm getting from the gentle medic. "I live in pain, Aid. There's no reason to worry Spot if it's not severe. So long as I can walk without a brace in place, I'll be fine." I stand and walk over to the berth Ratchet's frame is on and start glancing over it. "We need to finish with Ratchet."

* * *

 **10:00 am**

I glance over Ratchet's frame for any sign that he had been attacked. When I find none, I smile at Aid before turning to help him put the tools away. Once everything's put away, I turn back to the berth with a nervous sigh. "Moment of truth…"

"Mari?"

I shake my head. "I'm just nervous, Aid."

"Want me to get Spot?"

I shake my head. "I got it, Aid." I smile over at him. ~ _Spot?_ ~

~ _ **You're ready?**_ ~

~ _Yeah…_ ~

~ _ **We're on our way. What's wrong?**_ ~

~ _Nerves…_ ~

~ _You don't lie well…_ ~

~ _I know. Autism… Most times I love it, but now…_ ~

~ _ **Mari… Tell me…**_ ~

~ _Spot…_ ~

~ _He won't be mad if you do, and you'll feel better._ ~

~ _It's about the RSD…_ ~ I sigh over the bond. ~ _I'm in constant pain, but it's not too severe most of the time, so I usually don't bother telling anyone unless it gets bad and I can't do much. Of course, it has to be on the days when I really want to be active. Too much sitting bugs me._ ~

~But you're always—~

~ _Not_ in _active. My hands and mind are always moving—the latter,_ really fast _. I almost can't keep up with it!_ ~

~ _ **Why didn't you tell us earlier?**_ ~

~ _I told you I had it, I just didn't tell you the symptoms. During a flare, mine is usually ice cold to the touch, but it could be really hot too. Every descriptive word out there for pain applies to it, too… It's not fun, Guys, but I've learned to live with it. Aid's seen me on one of my not-so-good-but-not-severe days, when he took me into town…_ ~

"You never told me you were hurting!"

I shrug to the medic as the others walk in and close the door. "I'm always hurting, some days are just better than others. I've been on the edge of a flare for the last month— _before_ I got out here."

"Why did you keep that from us?"

"I didn't want to worry you. Chronic pain is…well, _chronic_ , Spot, and there's nothing you can do about it, so there's no reason to tell you when all it will do is make you feel helpless. I don't use prescription painkillers unless it's severe, and even then, I won't touch them without prodding. I rarely take anything for it—because I rarely need anything for it." I hug the fire-bot before smiling up at him. "I may be like Aid, but for the last eight years, I've been alone with the pain, and I'm used to it now. There's nothing anyone can do, and I've been addicted to Lyrica twice, so I'm not taking that again."

Aid turns to me. "What's Lyrica?"

"So far as I know, it's a medication given for chronic nerve disorders, to help the nerves fire less so you're not in as much pain. It's easy to get hooked on it, though, so I quit taking it." I shrug. "It may be best for us to look it up later…"

~ _You didn't have any problems getting off it, right?_ ~

I shake my head before hugging the medic. ~ _Didn't even notice the symptoms the first time… You witnessed the second time without knowing…_ ~

~ _ **We WHAT!?**_ ~

I hold my hands up in front of me. ~ _I wasn't a part of you then, and I left them at home!_ ~

Aid sighs. "Why didn't you just get another prescription?"

" _Because_ , it was doing nothing for me, save leaving me addicted. I left it behind on purpose, Aid."

"Doesn't withdrawal last for at least two weeks?"

I close my eyes and look at my feet. "…Yeah…It's my first day, where I feel okay…"

Aid sighs. "We're really sorry you had to go through it alone…"

Spot lays a hand on my shoulder. "We never noticed…"

"Insomnia—usually have that one—was eased by sleeping on Spot the second week, and I don't usually sleep much anyway. Digestive issues—"

"I've noticed that one…"

" _Weren't_ serious, Aid. I don't eat much normally—and I don't usually have a lot of variety either." I rub the back of my neck. "I'm usually as active as Spot—at least in my mind, if not in reality, so not being able to concentrate was a big issue." I shrug. "Nothing serious, though—no seizures—it's used to treat some types, Aid—no trouble breathing that wasn't connected to asthma, and no suicidal thinking."

"But you—"

"That was get-me-out-of-here-before-he-kills-me, Groove, not I-want-to-die, because I want to _live_ , Damnit!" I shrug. "Besides, I took my last one before I left the house. I wasn't withdrawing from it then…just terrified, and wanting to be safe." I glance to Ratchet's still-off-line frame with a sigh. "We need to bring Ratchet back…"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Blades, don't harass her." Spot sighs heavily. "Is there anything else you haven't mentioned?"

I rub the back of my neck. "I'm still dealing with tension headaches and dizzy spells, though I'm in a point where it's not so bad."

"What causes them?"

I turn to Aid. "Anxiety and stress…reverse order. It ties in with my trauma." I sigh. "I haven't had a panic attack since moments before I found out who was pushing on my car, I haven't had a really bad headache since the night before we first merged… I'm okay now. Ratchet's the one who needs us…"

"Mari… Did we cause that?"

"Anxiety over believing I was about to be kicked out caused it, not you all personally." I hug the fire-bot before smiling up at him. "I was fine by morning…" I sigh softly. "Well, at least I was _before_ I bumped it on Aid's hands… _That_ hurt for a little while." Aid opens his mouth. "Not your fault, Aid. I did it, not you." I sigh softly. ~ _Whelp, here goes nothing…_ ~ I step over to Ratchet's frame and hold my hands together and close my eyes, then take a deep, calming breath, as I've done hundreds of times in my fantasy world. Unlike all those times, my hands become covered in an azure blue flame, the calming effect easing any remaining anxiety over reviving the older medic.

I lay my flaming hands around Ratchet's spark chamber, and hold them there. I know this isn't going to be easy, but I'm willing to give my life for him, if that's what it takes. My arms start shaking, and my brothers step over to try and pull me off before I hurt myself, but I refuse to let go. There's something more powerful than even determination powering me right now: love for my brothers, love for the Autobots… Love for the medic under my hands.

After a full minute, I let the fire fade out and step back. My ears start ringing, and I can feel myself fading, but not even the willpower of a Green Lantern can keep me conscious.

* * *

 **Third POV**

"MARI!" Hot Spot dives forward and barely manages to catch his youngest sibling as she plummets to the cement floor. Once he's sure she's safe, he lays her on the ground. "Aid…"

First Aid kneels to his sister and starts checking vitals and examining her as the medic on the berth stands unnoticed behind him. "I think she just exhausted her reserves, but I can't be sure."

The femme on the ground groans softly, seemingly coming to.

* * *

 **Normal POV**

My audios are the first to come back. " _Mariposa!_ "

" _For the love of Primus, Hot Spot, back up so I can examine her!_ "

' _That voice… I_ know _that voice…_ ' My eyes flutter open, revealing my brothers crowded around me, all with worried looks… And Ratchet hovering over me, his expression unreadable—of course, that's coming from someone with Autism.

"Welcome back to the land of the on-line." He leans back before sighing. "Help her onto the berth so I can make sure she didn't hurt herself."

Groove and Streetwise help me up, and, though I don't need it, help me to the berth. "Thanks, Guys…" I smirk at the returned CMO. "One, I'm fine. I just pushed myself too hard. Two, I should be saying that to you."

He starts scanning me with a built-in scanner. "While I am glad to be back, and grateful to you for bringing me back, I do not think untrained medics should be reviving mechs when their stress levels are through the roof!"

"Mari?"

I shake my head. "Normal levels for me, Guys…"

"Explain."

I turn to Ratchet with a sigh. "One: I'm not good with strangers. Two: I only got here two weeks ago, and I've only known I was Cybertronian and been a Protectobot for one of the two. I'm taking an EMS class, which is really stressful, and I'm training to be a Cybertronian field medic, which is equally stressful—both are a lot of fun, though." I sigh softly. "I broke a promise to myself barely three and a half days ago, I am Autistic, and I have PTSD." I take a deep breath. "Besides all that, I just got done telling my brothers I went through withdrawal under their noses without them knowing."

"You did _WHAT_!?"

I give the nearly irate newly-revived medic an emotionless look. "I got off a medication I had a script for, but was addicted to, cold turkey, by leaving the meds back at my old house. I have been clean for two weeks, and am mostly, if not completely, through the process, with no assistance from any medical professional, human or Cybertronian."

"Aid…" Ratchet sighs. "I assume you have been training her, since I was off-line?"

"Yes, Sir." He smiles brightly at me. "She's done really well, too." He steps over and sits beside me before running through what he's taught me so far, then nods to Ratchet. "She's fine, but _you_ haven't been checked yet."

"I am functional, First Aid. You did well in repairs—"

"I only repaired your leg and put a new spark chamber in so Mari wouldn't have to see you without it."

" _Aid_ … Tell me you did not allow a newspark medic assist in repairs at barely a joor old?"

I glare up at him with my arms crossed. "I'm 23, Mister." I scoff. "'M not a week old…"

Ratchet leans over to me before continuing more gently than he had been with Aid. "Objectively, your frame is only a week old, and your spark is not even a vorn of age, making you a newspark in an adult frame, same as the Protectobots were."

"Either way, I chose to start my medical training now, and I love it, so you're not making me quit." I smile. "I helped with yearly medical exams too, and I've read through the same medical texts as Aid."

Ratchet sighs heavily. "You can continue training, but _I_ will be the one to teach you." He glances to where my brothers are standing to find one of the three missing. "Where did Groove go?"

I smile up at him, letting my childish side out now that we've gotten through the necessary exams. "Inside. He's feeding Jaspie."

" _Jaspie_?"

Aid sighs. "Jasper, actually."

Spot steps over. "She's an abandoned kitten Mari took in three days ago. We've all been helping raise her, so Mari doesn't stress herself out over an organic newspark."

Streetwise sighs. "She's still recovering from a life of abuse, and she's got PTSD from it."

Blades crosses his arms. "We already almost lost her once because of the damage her human family caused."

Ratchet looks from them to Aid and I. "Damage?"

I shrug. "Emotional damage, not physical damage."

Groove steps in with Jaspie and her bottle, both so tiny in the protectobot's hand, that they're almost unnoticeable, and the way he's holding his hands is kinda funny. Aid sighs. "She almost went into processor lock within three hours of merging with us, because her biological father made her feed a litter of baby rabbits to a cat, and talking about Lockdown caused a severe flashback."

"She was forced to kill…" Ratchet turns to Aid with a soft sigh. "Sounds familiar…"

Aid sighs heavily. "Spot gave her the same talk he gave me, but she still insists on weapons training."

"I have to defend you five. You's all I gots…"

Ratchet huffs before turning to Spot. "Does she usually regress like this?"

Aid shrugs. "When she's scared or upset, so she says. We've never actually seen it before now. I think it's connected with her disability, but people with her condition are so different, I can't know for sure."

"I wanna be ready to save them if I have to, even if that's on the battlefield."

"How is she working in Defensor?"

Spot turns to him. "We've only combined with her for a few minutes, but it's a strong connection, and she's fully on our side."

"Mariposa?"

"Mariposa _Prime_ , and I try every day to be like Optimus." He gives me a surprised look. "I fully believe that freedom is everyone's right, and I believe that fighting is only a final option, to be used after every other option is exhausted. That being said, I will protect what I care about, and I prefer that "Till all are one" not be "one with the All Spark", and will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. After all, I plan to be a medic first, and a soldier second."

"Mariposa Prime? First Aid—"

"She's the Star Healer, Ratchet. We found her…"

"And apparently claimed her." He turns to me. "I assume you have yet to meet Optimus?"

"In person… He's off in space with the seed, but he's on his way back." I look at my lap. "I'm kinda excited, but I'm nervous too. He's my role model, after all…"

He nods. "So the sibling bond between them has yet to develop…" He turns to Hot Spot. "You need to be ready. Once she learns to block her bonds with the five of you, she will when she and Optimus talk. Their conversations _will_ be officers only."

He smiles weakly. "I'll try, Ratchet."

I rush over and hug Spot before looking up to him. "It's all right. I won't block you forever." I nuzzle into his chest. "Needs you…"

"She seems really clingy…" He sighs. "I expect that with a gestalt, but I had assumed you were working with her on distance."

Hot Spot shrugs. "She's good at short term, short distances, but we haven't gone past three hours, or one mile. She prefers to recharge on my chest plates, even in her human form, though I haven't seen it since she started her class…"

Streetwise nods. "We're assuming it comes from her past full of abuse and neglect, but I think she's just naturally cuddly, from some of the things she's said over the bond."

I nod. "Some autistics crave touch, some hate it, cause it hurts. It hurts me sometimes, because I'm really sensitive to touch, but I craved it…" I hold up the rubber-braced wrist as I look up at Ratchet. "Now I haves it."

"Yes, you do." He pats my shoulder. "Groove, get her a cube of low grade."

"I have—"

I smile up at him. "Put Jaspie in her bed an' do it. It's not good for little kittens to be handled so much before their eyes open…"

Aid shrugs to a surprised Ratchet. "She has a lot of compassion for animals and bots especially…" He sighs. "I haven't seen her with humans yet, but I assume I'll see once she starts clinicals in her EMS class…" He shrugs. "She even insisted that she didn't want to train with drones when Hide starts training her…you know, once he's revived…"

"And she will be softer than usual with sparklings and younglings because of her Praxian heritage, even if she was more like Blades."

Hot Spot smirks. "She has her moments, Ratchet."

I nod and grin up at Ratchet. "You hurts my _family_ , I hurts _you_!"

Ratchet sends me a weak smile. "I need some time to look over the medical files, and, since I am sure you have the other frames in my office, I will need the medical bay to myself for a few hours."


	16. Odd Side Effect

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

* * *

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Odd Side Effect

 **Medical Bay, 1:00 pm**

I follow Aid into the medical bay, then run over to where Ratchet's sitting on one of the medical berths, looking over a datapad, leaving Aid by the cabinets. "Hey, Ratch! What're you doing?" I make a face at a new smell—and, being 23, I don't normally get that on my _own_ property. "What's that smell?"

"What's—" He moves closer to me before sighing heavily. "Someone's been purging, recently." He moves toward the cabinet where they keep the scanners.

I blink up at him, confused, before sighing and sending a worried glare to the medic on the farthest berth. "And Ratch was the only mech in here…" I tense up, and my doorwings start to tremble. It's all I can do to hold back the majority of the panic, and not completely flip out on my brother and the maybe-sick CMO.

Aid nods and sends a sense of calm through the bond. "Which is why I'm getting a scanner. I still haven't done his medical exam."

I rub the back of my neck. "Right."

"Don't panic until you have a reason to." He sighs. "And you shouldn't have a reason to."

Ratchet sighs heavily as Aid takes the medical file before closing it. "I am fine, Aid. One minor upset is not cause for panic."

"It _is_ for my _baby sister_ , so I'm doing this whether you _want_ me to, or _not_."

~ _Aid? You okay?_ ~

~ **He doesn't get angry like this often, but when he does…** ~

~ _Ah…thanks, Groove. I take it he's got a temper?_ ~

~Yeah…~

~ **Really** _ **long fuse, though…**_ ~

~ _ **Even I don't get him worked up**_ **that** _ **bad…**_ ~

~ _So…don't threaten his family, or…_ ~ I can't help but smirk, even though they can't see me. ~ _Same here. I'm usually very sweet and quiet—got snapped at once for being_ too _quiet in the back of the ambulance, actually—it takes a lot for me to try and defend myself, and—bad judge of character, even while hyper-aware—I usually do that when I shouldn't open my big mouth, but…_ ~ I sigh over the bond. ~ _But you hurt my family, and I'll_ almost _turn into Blades!_ ~

~ _Really?_ ~

I shrug to the medic who just went off at Ratchet. ~ _Really. I hate to kill, but if it's the only way to save my family, I'll do it—I'll regret it later, but I'll do it!_ ~ I cross my arms and glare at the medic. "Just let him scan you, Ratch. You'll get to finish reviewing charts after you're taken care of." I watch Aid run the scanner over him nervously. ~ _You're sure he's gonna be okay?_ ~

~ _Of course he is. I know what I'm doing, Little Sis._ ~

~ _ **Aid?**_ ~

~ _She's just worried about Ratch, Spot. We're okay._ ~ He looks over the results before shaking his head. "This can't be right…" He starts fiddling with the scanner.

"Aid…"

"Spark echoes…"

I step over to my brother and slip the scanner out of his hand and set it on the counter before laying my braced hand on his shoulder. "Treat your patient, not your equipment." I sigh softly. "What does a spark echo mean?"

"Normally it means that a mech or femme is carrying, but Ratchet's been in here since we revived him, and he's not seeing anyone…"

I shrug lightly, pushing my panic back so I can reason with my brother. "So he _shouldn't_ be carrying. That doesn't mean he _isn't_. You keep everything in here in perfect condition, Aid. I sincerely doubt it's the scanner…" I look down at my hands, then remember a supposed result of my power I had come to when I was still living in a fantasy world, and the proximity of said power to his spark. "Aid… I think I know what happened…" He turns to me as Ratchet walks past us, the latter scoffing softly at me before turning to put the scanner away. "Hey! Hear me out, Doc!" I sigh softly. "The blue inferno comes from Primus, right?" Aid nods, causing me to continue. "And Primus is your creator?"

Ratchet scoffs from his place, back on the berth on the other side of the room. "Everyone knows that."

Aid sighs softly. "She's never been to Cybertron, Ratch."

I nod. "And not everyone here on Earth knows about Primus. I'm just trying to verify things before I say something I'm not entirely certain about." I sigh softly and turn back to Aid. "So…since it's from Primus, and Primus is a creator, wouldn't it stand that using the inferno close to a mech or femme's spark would _create_ a second spark?"

"It makes sense…" Aid turns to me. "You came to that on your own?"

I nod. "I've had a lot of time to think about its effects, and…if it can revive, then it can create, and if it can create…"

"The scanner isn't broken…"

"Which means he's not really sick…" I smile. "And I won't be the youngest around here anymore!"

" _Mariposa_!"

I cringe at the CMO's yell before turning to Aid. "Four? months of Hell?"

"Four months? Yes. _Hell_? Doubt it."

"But he…"

Aid rests a hand on my shoulder. "He's not going to be this cranky all the time, Mari. Maybe for the first month, but he'll level off after a few weeks." He sighs softly. "He's probably not feeling good right now, or he has a helm-ache, both of which make him crankier than he usually is."

I nod, then stand. "I need to tell him what we know."

"I can—"

"I'm not letting Mr. Cranky-Bot ruin your relationship with him, even if you are used to his attitude!" I huff before rubbing my arm. "Sorry, Aid… I may be the youngest, but—"

"You're an advocate against mistreatment, I know."

I nod before hugging him. "And you're so…sensitive…" I sigh softly. "My cousin Eli is too, and I did everything in my power to make sure no one ever treated him like this—him, _or_ his siblings."

"Siblings?"

"Older sister—Liv—who's emotional, and…kind of a diva. He's got a little brother too—Jack—who's too smart for his own good, added to being four and hyperactive…" I shake my head. "Except for the "four" part, it's like dealing with Spot!" I giggle before shrugging. "Guess that's why I'm the only one who can keep up with him…" I shrug. "Whatever. I need to get to Ratch before I forget. Sometimes, I hate being flightier than Flight!" I pause. "And I've never even met him!"

* * *

I walk over to where Ratchet's again sitting on the edge of the farthest berth, looking over the patient files on a datapad. "Ratchet?"

He looks up at me before switching off the datapad. I guess he's already learned I love reading over peoples' shoulders. "What do you want?"

I force myself not to glare at the obviously cranky medic. "I just want to talk with you, about what Aid found on the scanner."

"Why is Aid sending you?"

I sigh softly. "I volunteered. I don't want anyone yelling at him. I can take it better than he can."

"Mari… I do not yell without a reason."

"I _know_ …it's just… You're cranky today. I can handle yelling a little better than the others can because I got it all the time growing up."

"Mari…" He stands with a heavy sigh. "You may think you can handle it, but I have dealt with abused younglings."

I cross my arms and glare up at him. "I'd rather shutdown or meltdown on you or Spot than have Aid closing everyone off _again_." I rub my arm nervously. "He was the first person on this planet to make me feel worthwhile." I pause before rubbing the back of my neck. "Well, not counting my EMS mentor back in Indiana, but I'll probably never see him again…" I sigh heavily. "If he hadn't come along…if they hadn't come along…" I shake my head, trying to shake that thought out. "Ratch, I wouldn't be standing here today, because I'd have died on the streets of Chicago that first night!" I throw my arms in the air, then huff softly and cross them across my chest. The simple action brings back old memories, but I force myself to continue through them. "You don't know the hell I went through before I met them, Ratchet. Death was my only escape, and I was too strong to go through with it." I shake my head and get back to the original train of thought. "I can't feel that again…I need Aid…"

He sighs before patting the berth beside him, an almost hurt look on his faceplates. "What did you need to tell me?"

"I-I didn't—" I sit beside him and hold his hand lightly. "Don't cry for me, Ratch. I survived for a reason, and I can get through this…" I smile when I remember what Aid and I had learned. "Th-the inferno…we think it might have created a second spark… Aid saw some spark echoes, and…" I sigh softly. "Ratch… if I'm right, you're carrying."

To my surprise, he actually smiles. I'd been expecting him to lose it, like Aid just did a few minutes ago. "It is not unheard of, Mari, but it has not happened to a normal mech for hundreds of vorns."

I pause for a moment to think about that. "It's like a virgin birth, right?"

He nods, surprised I get it. "The carrier is not _always_ a virgin, though."

I cross my arms and smirk. I can't help but quote _Transformers Prime_ right now. "TMI, Doc!" I sigh heavily at his unamused look. "It doesn't matter. Primus sent you back to us, which must mean it wasn't your time yet. You have a second chance at life, and I don't want you to waste it." I pat his hand before standing. "Don't push yourself too hard. We need you."

"Well, you need medical training if you plan to work out here."

"Aid can do it! He's done good so far! I helped fix you, and I saved you!"

He runs a hand over my head, as if soothing a small child. "I know you did, and I promise, you did a very good job, and he did teaching you as well, but I am the senior medic, and Aid still has to finish his own training." He nods to Aid before sighing heavily. "Who do we need to revive next?"

"Hide's."

He gives me a look before turning to Aid. "Ironhide." He rubs the back of his neck. "She doesn't feel regressed, so I don't know what that was…"

I glare between the two. "Hide's _frame_." I huff. ~ _Don' wanna talk, Aid!_ ~

~ _It'll make things a little harder, with Ratchet back, but we'll deal with it._ ~ He starts toward Ratchet's office. "I'll—"

"Get your brothers." Aid gives him a look. "Ironhide is too heavy for you to carry on your own, I doubt Mari can handle much weight if manual labor caused her to collapse when she was younger, and I am in no condition to attempt lifting Jazz, let alone someone Ironhide's size."

Aid sighs. ~ _Spot, we need some heavy lifting._ ~ He sighs through the bond. ~ _And stick with the bond for now. Mari's in a non-verbal phase. She may not feel right about using the bond if we're not._ ~

I nod, silently agreeing with my brother. ~ _Huh-uh. 'S weird…_ ~

~ _ **Blades and I are on our way.**_ ~

~ _Streets? Groove?_ ~

I watch them step through the door, barely glancing at me as they walk to the back room. ~ _ **They're in the main base helping Bumblebee and Drift get quarters ready for Optimus' team.**_ ~

Blades turns to me at the door. ~ _ **Before you ask, Hound's on patrol, and Crosshairs is with the Yeager family for the day, so they needed help.**_ ~

~ _Op'mus?_ ~

Hot Spot's head peaks around the doorframe as the mech smiles at me. ~ _ **He contacted Bumblebee an hour ago, they should be here tomorrow.**_ ~

~ _I getta meet Op'mus? Tomorrow?_ ~

~ _ **Yep.**_ ~

I can't help but bounce in place as I watch them lay Ironhide's frame—and severed head—on the berth Ratchet had been laying on before now.

I turn when I feel Aid's hand on my shoulder. ~ _Try not to use as much power in your reviving, and we might be able to prevent this next time._ ~ I blink up at him. ~ _Unless you think it'll start to bring our race back, because that's a really good idea._ ~

I shake my head. ~ _Not yet, Aid. May not be safe. Wan' my own family too, but not yet. I not ready, and it not safe. Galvy's still out there. War's still raging…_ ~

~ _ **Your family's still out to get you…**_ ~

~ _That too…_ ~ I shake my head. ~ _Wait till war ends, then rebuild race. Not smart to do before war ends._ ~ I smile. ~ _But when war ends, watch out! We have lots of Autobots then! I no let anyone be one with the All Spark, an' we haves sparklin's too!_ ~

~ _ **Mari…**_ ~

I cross my arms and glare up at Spot. ~ _Autobot like autonomous robot, not like faction! No war means everyone Autobot!_ ~

~She has a point…~

~ _Blames Ratch. He say it in'a movie!_ ~

The three turn to stare at Ratchet, who looks confused. "What?"

~ _Opt said "Autonomous robotic organisms", Ratch said "Autobots for short"…or something like that…might be paraphrasing…_ ~

* * *

 **Third POV**

Ratchet turns to Aid with a heavy sigh. "Aid?"

Aid turns to him. "Mari regressed through the bond, talking more like a human four year old." He smiles at me. "She's coming out of that now."

Ratchet sighs softly. "Still non-verbal?"

"That could last a while. We're still getting to know her, but she warned us against making her talk when she gets like this, or she'll snap. She told us it usually happens when she's upset, tired, or cranky, but…"

"What set her off this time?"

"I don't know…" He glances at Mari as she watches their two brothers leave the medical bay. "She doesn't seem cranky—we'd be able to tell through the bond—and she's not tired enough to warrant something she explained only happens when she's been awake for more than a full Earth day." He sighs heavily. "What were you two talking about?"

Ratchet sighs heavily. "She still wants you to teach her…"

Aid nods, then sighs softly. "She's upset with your rules, but she doesn't want to melt down in your medical bay, so she won't let herself talk." He scowls in the CMO's general direction.

"Aid…"

He shakes his head slightly before smiling back at Ratchet. "Don't. I'm not mad at _you_. Her human family caused this. As long as we treat her right, she'll learn that we won't go off if she doesn't want something." He shrugs. "Even if it _is_ your medical bay."

* * *

 **Normal POV**

I turn back to the two, having heard every word. ~ _But Ratchet melts down worse than I do…_ ~

Aid laughs softly. ~ _You're right, he does, but that's only if people bother him on a bad day. If Sides' pranks backfire, or Wheeljack blows something up, expect him to go off at someone if they argue with him._ ~ He smiles. ~ _But I know how to defuse him when he gets like that, so you have nothing to worry about. I could even show you how to do it yourself, since we know how you feel about him…_ ~

~ _Thanks, Aid… Love you!_ ~ I hug him before starting over to the medical berth where Ironhide is, and run a gentle hand over the mech. ' _We'll have you back before you know it, Big Guy. I'll make sure of it._ '


	17. Optimus Returns

I only own my OC's!

* * *

Optimus Returns

* * *

 **February 15, 2016**

I inch my way out of the pile and check the time. "Five AM!? Seriously!?" I shrug and start downstairs. "Eh. Guess I can get a few chores done before Prime gets here." I freeze in my tracks about half-way down the stairs. "Optimus is coming home! Oh, my God! I have to make this house presentable!" I pause and blink. "Primus if I don't sound like Blades off Rescue Bots right now…" I giggle. "Primus, that mech…half the time I'm wondering if he's actually the blood knight…then again, he did lose Aid for a while…" I walk over to the dispenser and get me a cube before starting to drink it as I look around the mildly cluttered room. "Still… It's strange, seeing him act like Blades." I blink. "It's strange seeing Blades act like Blades. O~kay… I'm losing my mind."

"Mari?"

I blink and look up. "Streets? What are you doing up?"

"You're up. I figured I'd make sure you weren't hiding from us again."

I shake my head. "My brain decided I needed to be up at five this morning. Then I remembered Optimus was coming today, and…well, I got a little too excited…now I've got to keep myself semi-sane until tonight, so I don't fangirl over Optimus when I'm in front of him."

"Like you did with us the first time we met?"

"Guilty as charged." I shrug. "Why are you up?"

"I just got back. I was called in to assist on a police chase."

"Strange, I didn't hear the front door…"

"Right before you came down. I was trying not to wake you guys up…"

"You didn't wake me up, Streets." I smile up at him. "I woke myself up, and I wasn't happy about it, either."

"Spot know you're down here?"

"Um…I didn't wanna wake him up…"

"I'll let him know when he gets up. You and Aid may want to check up on Ratchet before you open the med-bay."

"Bad night?"

"Heard him purging when I left, and he was again when I got back…"

"Oh…" I look down at my hands.

Streetwise lays a hand on my shoulder. "It wasn't your fault, Mari. Things happened, and—"

"It was _my hands_ thatdid it."

"I don't think she wants to be comforted right now, Street."

"What's wrong?"

"Hey, Blades, Aid…" I sigh heavily. "Ratchet's sick…" I whimper and run to First Aid. "And it's _my fault_!"

I start crying, causing the medic to wrap his arms around me. "Street, go tell Spot Mari's upset. I'll do what I can until you get back. Blades…"

"I get it. Don't hurt anyone."

"N-no one to h-hurt… I-it's m-my f-fault… If I hadn't been so desperate to revive him—"

"He told you yesterday that he was glad to be back, and grateful you had the strength to do so."

" _Thanks_ , Streets…"

"Doesn't help?"

"Nope." I shrug off Aid's arms and slump onto the couch as Hot Spot walks in.

"What's wrong, Mari? Was it a nightmare?"

I shake my head. "Something Streets said."

"Streetwise…"

" _No_ …"

"Mari…"

"Spot, Streets said Ratch was sick, an' it's all my fault because I used too much power yesterday, an' I'm worried about him, an' I don' wan' him be sicks, an—" I give up and just cry on him.

"Ah…" He sighs. "Aid, you need to check on Ratchet before you open the med bay." He starts for the door. " _After_ you have some energon. Streetwise—"

"I got called in for a police chase. The rest of you may have gotten in the way. Chief only asked for me."

"Okay. How did you know Ratchet's sick?"

"I could hear him." He says like it's obvious.

"Primus." He sighs. "Mari, it'll be okay. Ratchet's going to get through this. He's strong." He looks up. "Groove, where's the kitten?"

"With Blades. I can—"

"I got it!"

"Be careful, Blades! She's fragile!"

I blink, and giggle softly at the conversation. "Aidie, he's not gonna break the kitty. He's more careful than that!"

"Aidie?"

Blades steps over and hands me the kitten and her bottle. "Here you go, my Lady."

I giggle. "Fanks, Bwades."

"Regressed?"

I nod before holding the bottle for the tiny kitten. "Num-nums time, Little One. Open up for nummy nums…" I make a face at the kitten, who won't open her mouth. "Gwove! Make her ea' num-num! She no do for me, an' she always do for you!"

Blades chuckles as Groove takes the kitten and bottle, earning three glares and a really disappointed look. "What? She sounds cute when she's regressed and angry."

"She kind of does, now that you mention it…"

I giggle. "Stweets missded somefing!"

"Well, we'll have to snap her out of this before Optimus gets here this afternoon."

"Op'mus coming!"

"Preferably _before_ she starts acting like an overcharged sparkling."

"Spot would be the only one who could keep up with her then…"

"Yikes…" Blades shakes his head. "I don't even want to _imagine_ her like that."

"Thankfully you won't have to." Hot Spot smiles down at me. "I don't think she'll want to do that in front of Optimus."

"No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!"

"Calm down, Mari. It's all right."

"Don' wanna be 'gressed roun' Op'mus."

"We'll help you if we have to. Just calm down. You're getting too excited."

"I twy…"

"Good girl."

* * *

 **Noon**

I slip into a new, long sleeved pink lace dress that goes down to my knees before glancing in the mirror. "Almost perfect…" I reach down for the two pink scrunchies I have, and put them on my wrists before undoing my usual braids and brushing my hair. After re-braiding it, I pull them together with another hair tie, then start twisting until the braids that had reached my butt are up in the bun, then use the scrunchies to hold it, slipping in bobby pins where it threatens to fall. "Now, for my shoes…" I sit on my bed—which is unused at this moment, and is solely there in the event I get sick—and pull on a pair of seamless socks before zipping my feet into black knee-high boots.

I glance at my dress coat, hanging on the back of the door, before reaching for my phone. I go onto my YouTube app and select a song before starting to sing along, hoping the music will calm my nerves—mainly because I don't want to meet the Prime in a wrinkled dress.

I have often dreamed of a far off place  
Where a hero's welcome would be waiting for me  
Where the crowds would cheer, when they see my face  
And a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday, I can go the distance  
I will find my way if I can be strong  
I know every mile would be worth my while  
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road to embrace my fate  
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you  
And a thousand years would be worth the wait  
It might take a lifetime but somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back, I can go the distance  
And I'll stay on track, no I won't accept defeat  
It's an uphill slope  
But I won't lose hope, 'till I go the distance  
And my journey is complete, oh yeah

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part  
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart, oh

Like a shooting star, I will go the distance  
I will search the world, I will face its harms  
I don't care how far, I can go the distance  
'Till I find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms

I will search the world, I will face its harms  
'Till I find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms

I stand and stare at my reflection in the mirror. ' _But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part, for a hero's strength is measured by his heart._ '

A knock on my door snaps me out of my thoughts. " _Mariposa? The ship is about to make landfall._ "

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. ' _I can do this. This is where I'm meant to be. I can go the distance._ ' I pull on my dress coat and button it before tying the belt. "I'm on my way, Drift." I pull the door open and step out before giving the samurai a nervous-yet-excited smile. "Let's go."

* * *

We pull up into an empty field. I slide out of the Camaro—first time not riding with my brothers—and watch as the small team transforms and turns to watch the skies.

I shift to my Cybertronian form and look up to the sky as what looks like a large, black teardrop descends from space. Before I have the chance to voice my nervousness, Hot Spot steps up behind me and lays a hand on my shoulders. ~ _ **It's okay. You'll do fine. We're right behind you.**_ ~

~ _Thanks, Spot…_ ~

The ship finally lands, and the door opens slowly to reveal Optimus with a bot on either side, slightly behind him. The one on the right has pointed wings, telling me it's a jet of some sort, with silver armor and a red chest. The one on the left has doorwings, and is black and white—this one, I recognize, and immediately salute the mech at attention.

The three step down the ramp, revealing the others Optimus has found—four other jet-mechs, two Praxians, and Red Alert and Inferno. I can feel my brothers' joy and relief while I stare straight at the red and gray Praxian mech in front of me.

I snap out of it after a minute, and take a deep breath to steel myself before walking over to the three at the bottom of the ramp. "Welcome back, Optimus Sir. I hope the journey was a pleasant one."

"It was…" He gives me a confused look.

"Oh!" I barely refrain from facepalming. "I'm Mariposa Prime, Star Healer." The jet-mech gapes, while the black and white mech gives me a confused look before dropping like a stone. I dive for the Praxian mech—whom I've now, without a doubt, determined is Prowl—while Ratchet runs forward with a swear. I hit my knees—hard—with the mech's head cradled in my arms, and his wings braced by my knees. "Thank Primus…" I look up at my brother-in-arms sheepishly. "Guess I should have broken that more gently…"

"Prowl does this all the time, Mari. It is not your fault."

"Mariposa…Prime? I believed I was the last…"

I look up at him, wishing I could be on level ground with him, while wanting to keep Prowl's wings off the frozen ground at the same time. "I just learned who I was a week ago myself, Sir."

He kneels to me. "You don't need to call me Sir. You are my sister."

Prowl stirs, and I help him sit up. "Are you okay, Sir?"

"Yes, Mariposa." He glances back to me. "I apologize, Miss."

I shake my head. "Don't. I understand." I stand and help him to his feet. "Welcome to Earth, Commander."

Hot Spot turns like he's about to run to me. ~ _ **You okay?**_ ~

Streetwise cocks his head to one side. ~You fell really hard…~

Aid steps toward me quickly. ~ _You'd better sit down so I can—_ ~

~ _I'm fine, guys. I just…couldn't let him fall…_ ~

The jet-mech raises an eyebrow ridge before glancing between my brothers and I. ' _Silverbolt…I should have known…_ ' I smirk to the jet-mech beside my brother-in-arms. "Silverbolt, I presume?" He nods. "Mariposa Prime, newest Protectobot. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Mari?" I glance back to Hot Spot. "We'd better get them back home before…"

"Cemetery Wind. Right…" I turn back to the new arrivals. "All right, we're moving this reunion back home! We'll lead you there so you won't get lost, but stay close. There's enemies afoot." I turn to Red Alert. "Don't worry. We're safe. They won't dare come back to our property."

"Back?"

Blades smirks. "She shot their leader for attacking us."

"They know we'll fight back if they dare try to hurt us." I shift down to human form and climb into the Camaro after motioning for them to follow me.

* * *

' _He lives in me… He lives in me. Primus, he lives in me!_ ' I slide out of the Camaro and step back to let him transform. Once we step inside, I slip off my coat and hand it to the first hand that appears—Spot's, as usual. I smile up at him before walking through the base we've set up. "We've got two offices to the left, Red and Inferno's quarters on the right… Optimus, yours are on the left by the offices, we've got the next one on the right set up for a revival I have yet to complete…Ratchet is on the left by you, Optimus…Mirage is set to be on the right once he's back-to-life, same for Wheeljack and 'Hide on the left…Prowl, you're on the right—Jazz will be back within the month—Blue, you're on the other side of Prowl's…Then there's a washrack on the right, a movie room on the left, and—" I wave toward the hall to my left. "Smokey, you're in the back, then we've got a psychology office straight ahead for you…then Drift, Crosshairs, Hound…" I stop at the end and wave toward the door. "And the Aerialbots in here."

"How did you manage to plan that out?"

I shrug. "Same way I planned out the 'Raid-KSI-for-Frames' plan, Blades."

"You mean when you weren't contemplating if we were in "Aligned"?"

I shrug. "Actually, I had this planned _before_ I pulled that one back out." I turn back to the others. "Med-bay is the other building in the yard. You'll be able to find Ratchet, Aid, and I there any time during the day, and there's a small training space behind it. You can find the six of us at any time if you come up to the house."


	18. Meeting the Aerialbots

I only own my OCs!

I will not be able to post again for a while, as I am in hiding from my abuser, and I will not have access to wifi constantly. I will post as I can. please enjoy!

* * *

Meeting the Aerialbots

I watch my brothers leave before turning to Bluestreak and Smokescreen—Prowl has already gone to his office. "So…"

"Did you know you were going to be Praxian?"

"No. I wanted to be, though." I smile and sit on the couch in the media room before patting the seat beside me.

Bluestreak turns to me after sitting on my left. "How did you meet the Protectobots?"

I look down. "I ran from an abusive family. It started when I was three, picked up at ten, again at seventeen, and by 20 I was calling the police." I sigh heavily. "I don't like thinking about them…"

Smokescreen turns to me from the right. "Why is the government after us?"

I sigh heavier if possible. "The Decepticons destroyed Chicago. I learned of it through movies, but…"

"Can I see it?"

I glance to Bluestreak before nodding. "As long as Blue's not in earshot." I smile. "He can go up to the house and see my cats while we're watching it."

"What if I wanna watch?"

I force myself to keep a neutral expression. "Bluestreak… I don't want you to relive Praxus because of me…not when I relive my abuse in my own dreams."

"Wait… What happened?"

"Think Praxus, Smokey. Blue—think anything _but_ Praxus!"

"Praxus…" He blinks in shock before giving me a horrified expression. "What the frag!?"

I nod sadly. "At least it's rebuilt in the last seven years…" I sigh heavily. "Because trust me, I used to live about an hour or so away from here, and I'm glad they kept it secret! The movies were hard enough on me without seeing it in person."

Bluestreak gives me a confused look. "What happened?"

"The Decepticons happened, Blue. To Chicago. Seven years ago." I sigh heavily. "Blue…I'm trying to protect you here, okay?"

"I know… But I feel like I need to know."

"Sentinel Prime made the government ditch their alliance with the Autobots… Sent them into space on the Xanthium… Starscream blew it up… Then the Decepticons went to Chicago, sealed it off, practically leveled it… Then the Autobots arrived—they'd been hidden and splashed into the Atlantic." I sigh heavily. "We saved the day, but lost the war…" I shake my head at their looks. "Five years later, Chicago's rebuilt, and the Autobots are hunted like criminals alongside the Decepticons. We had to revive Ratchet, Blue… I'm still shaken over that…" I blink as a quote runs through my head unbidden. ' _Never is here._ ' I grab my head with both hands, not wanting to interrupt my brothers' time with their friends.

"Mari?"

"'m fine. This happens sometimes."

"What happens?" Smokescreen lays a hand on my shoulder. "Mari?"

"I told you I had PTSD. I didn't tell you that the last movie made it worse—that watching Ratchet be killed was just as bad as the abuse I suffered growing up." I sigh heavily. "I was alone here for a week—figuratively speaking—before I had the bond with the Protectobots. The day before we formed it… I saw Ratchet's decapitated head under a tarp. It made it all more real to me than ever before… I can't go through that again…I have to keep you guys safe—even if I don't _want_ to fight…I _have_ to…to keep you all _safe_."

"Primus… You've gone through a lot for us, haven't you?"

I nod, and smile at the white Praxian. "And I'll go through more if it'll keep you all alive." I sigh heavily. "I need to go find my brothers. They've had enough "no sister" time for now."

"You're just a sparkling." I blink at him. "You've only been able to reach this form for a week, right?"

I nod. "Ratchet's already pointed that out to me, Smokey."

"You're already doing so much."

I stand, and move to leave the two to settle in. "I have to—it's the only way to protect you all."

* * *

I step into the house at a loud laugh from Hot Spot. Just the sound causes me to smile. ' _Good. They're enjoying themselves for once…_ ' I blink. ' _Wait, didn't I say Optimus would have Silver with him last week when Spot was down?_ ' I laugh, calling their attention to me.

"What's so funny over there?"

I shake my head. "Just realized I called it again."

"Called what again?" I shake my head, causing the black jet-mech to lean my head up to him. "What did you call?"

The smallest jet-mech scoffs. "And what did you mean "again"?"

I sigh before smiling to show I'm not upset. "I'm hyper-aware—not as much as Streets, but enough to where it assists my sixth sense—psychic for those who are confused. I just remembered that I told Spot you guys would be with Optimus when he was getting mopey last week."

"Come on, Mari."

"Join us."

I smirk before walking over to plop myself unceremoniously on Hot Spot's lap. "So…"

"You already know Silverbolt… So…" He starts pointing in an arc, starting with the shortest one who snarked at me. "That's Slingshot." He moves to the black one. "That's Skydive." The finger moves toward the last two. "Fireflight, and Air Raid." He turns back to the group. "Anyway…" ~ _ **You okay? Seemed like you were about to cry while you were gone…**_ ~

~ _Yeah… Just telling the new arrivals what happened here… Ratchet came up, and…_ ~

~ _ **We're here, Mari. It's okay. You're not alone anymore.**_ ~

~ _And Ratchet's back._ ~

~ _Because of me, Aid. That's not easy on me… I can hear Lockdown's voice in my head sometimes…_ ~ "So… What's going on in here?"

Hot Spot looks down to me with a soft smile. "We were telling them how you came to us."

"Oh…" I sigh heavily. "I really should have thought that through…" I shrug. "Things are better because I didn't, but I still have no idea why I ran to Chicago in the middle of the fragged night, in the middle of the fragged winter."

"She was so scared, when she came to us." Streetwise sighs. "She barely did anything that first week here…"

I sigh. "I went on walks while they were on duty, I made a plan to save Ratchet, walked down to the mall so I could get a couple outfits, and I spent the rest of the time working on stories. I'm a writer." I shrug. "So I wasn't entirely inactive, but there wasn't much I felt safe doing—felt like I had to look over my shoulder everywhere I went but here." I sigh softly. "Then…"

"Then she told me what was really going on—why she was so quiet and secretive… Why she acted so timid and jumpy…" Aid sighs heavily. "She said she'd die for us…willingly…like she wanted to die right there, if it meant we'd be able to be ourselves on this planet."

* * *

 _"You wanted to be like us, from the start…"_

 _I nod. The gestalt team knows about my love of cuddling, and I've tried to slip in where I could, but I'd never risk getting smooshed just to cuddle. "They say lesser beings are afraid of intimacy—"_

 _"Where?"_

 _"Young Justice. Organic version of a gestalt. Other planet in the show." I shrug. "Doesn't matter. They fear it, I crave it." I step over to pick out a bed, leaving the now-confused medic to figure out what I meant. I hate being cryptic, but I'm not out-right asking for him to reformat me into a bot._

 _"What?"_

 _I glance back to him. "I crave that closeness I see in you and your brothers. I want that, so bad I can taste it." I turn back to the beds before continuing. "I've had to distance myself from my family to survive, when I'm the kind of girl that loves to cuddle, and craves touch—not the bad kind, just to be touched. To be able to reach out, no matter where I am, and know I'm safe, because I can feel someone out there…" I sigh before glancing back to him, wondering if my words confused or upset him. "I just don't think I was supposed to be human, Aid. I'm too different to them. I couldn't even hold a job in a facility based around caring for people!"_

* * *

I look up to the Aerialbots. "I told him that I craved the closeness others fear…meaning I wanted to be a part of them…"

Aid sighs softly at the memory. "She wanted to feel like she was somebody's world—like she'd never felt before in her life."

I look up to the ambulance beside me with a gentle smile.

* * *

 _"They're kind of over-protective of me at times."_

 _I sigh heavily, almost wishfully. I can't help but be jealous, with the life I've had. "That's not a bad thing, Aid…" I sigh again, the same way. "God, the times I've been hurt or sick, and had to take care of myself because telling someone I didn't feel good meant not being believed, even though I almost never lie. I mean, I know I have allergy issues, and I hurt a lot sometimes because of my nerves, but that doesn't mean I'm faking it for attention! I've told you all before not to pamper me. If I wouldn't do it myself, I wouldn't ask someone else to." I can't hold back the tears. "I cared, so much, but when I couldn't handle it—when my mother was dying, and I couldn't handle watching her fade like I'd had to watch Mam—they said if I ran, I couldn't go back home! As if my compassion for my dying mother was a crime! They—they treated me like I was a criminal, all because I needed things a certain way, and—" I unbuckle, even though we're still driving, and slide down before burying my face into the seat. "A-and a-all I-I wanted w-was to feel that—feel loved and sheltered like that…"_

 _He sighs before looking around. Once he's sure no one's coming, he transforms and cups me in a hand. "It's okay. You're safe now." I can't help but curl into his hand. This is what I've needed when this happens—these meltdowns—and I've been forbidden to run to someone for so long I'd almost forgotten what being comforted was like. "I'll take you back home for now. We can finish your errands once you've had time to calm down."_

 _I sigh before nodding, and curl up in the seat once he transforms back into vehicle mode._

* * *

"She was so embarrassed about falling apart on me like that…" I look down at my lap as Aid continues. "She thought we'd turn our backs on her just because she'd gotten a little emotional over her past…"

* * *

 _Hot Spot turns to us from the back door. "What happened?"_

 _I shrug after Aid sets me down. "Meltdown. Hate 'em, can't help 'em. Wish I could, though."_

 _"She ordered what she wanted at the furniture store, and they'll deliver them in a few days."_

 _"Um…"_

 _I look up to the wary fire-bot. "I can put it together myself. I told them to leave them outside the door." I sigh. "The mission?"_

 _"Went fine."_

 _"We put the frames in the medical bay."_

 _I nod. "All right." I sigh heavily. "ETA on Bumblebee and the others?"_

 _"Three hours. Said they needed to drop off the Yeager's first."_

 _"Thanks." I sigh softly before grabbing my computer, then start for the stairs. The room they set up for me happens to be the one with a walk-in closet—of course, they don't really need closets, so it doesn't matter who gets the "master" bedroom. "Guess I'll get out of your metaphorical hair…"_

 _"Why don't you come with me?"_

 _I look up at the medic in shock. No one usually wants me around after I "melt down" on them like I did earlier. "I'll be fine, Aid. Really."_

 _"I mean it." He smiles. "Besides, I may be able to help you with what we talked about."_

 _I smile before running after him. "But I thought—"_

* * *

"I was too scared to bring it up with Spot at the time."

"Why were you afraid of me?"

I look up at him in shock. "I wasn't afraid of _you_!"

"But you just said…"

"I meant I was afraid of rejection. I was too scared of being rejected to ask you. I was actually horrified at myself, when I blurted it out later that day."

* * *

 _"Gestalt thing?"_

 _We both look up to see Hot Spot staring at us. "She—"_

 _"I crave the closeness other people fear." I sigh at his confused look. "I was telling Aid about something from a show I used to watch. One episode had an organic gestalt from another planet, and the girl on the team told this kid that lesser being feared intimacy, meaning closeness, because there's no secrets when your very souls combine in Defensor—" I sigh and trace a line on the ground. "I've always known I wanted to be an Autobot, but…" Why the frag is this so hard? "I wanna be a Protectobot, Spot."_

* * *

"She started telling me about something similar to us that she'd seen in a movie, as an example of her not wanting to bring a lot of emotion into our bond…"

"She was worried she'd mess up our connection if she brought her anger at Lockdown over Ratchet's death into the bond."

Aid shakes his head. "She fell apart on us over it again, too. That was an emotion-heavy day in general…"

Hot Spot gives Silverbolt a sad, almost heartbreaking look. "What happened next…reminded me of when we could have lost Aid…"

* * *

 _"But I'm serious. If that level of emotion is dangerous in a drift, then it would be five times worse to have in a gestalt."_

 _"Drift?"_

 _The samurai glances back to us, but I shake my head, causing him to head inside. "It's off a kaiju movie. Two minds—two humans—combining their minds through a neural drift to operate these 200+ foot robots, to take down the monsters and save humanity. Taking a large amount of negative emotions into the drift means you could latch onto a memory, and you'd fall out of sync, then you couldn't operate the machine, and you'd die. I don't wanna be that to Defensor. I want healing, not vengeance." I whimper softly. "It's just…too real now, Aid. He's gone. He's really gone. We may never get him back!" I fall into the Protectobot's arms, once again a sobbing mess._

 _"You'll get through this." He sighs. "We both will." He sighs heavily. "It's late. I need to lock up, and you need to eat."_

 _I shake my head. Meltdowns take what little appetite I usually have. "I'm fine."_

 _"Mari, you've barely eaten anything since you got here…"_

 _I look down. "'M jus' not hungry, Aid. I don' wanna force myself to, 'cause I might get sick."_

* * *

"I couldn't just let her keep going like that—feeling like she had no one to care about her…" Hot Spot sighs. "She hardly even ate to begin with most days, and she was dead-set on going to berth without eating."

Aid sighs. "Thankfully, I managed to talk her into it, and we all met up in the medical bay."

"I didn't want her in the bond at first." Blades chuckles. "Now I know how stupid that was."

' _The slow death of the slow dance… Tailspin of a romance… Gotta get back and breathe the old air in…_ ' I sigh softly as I look back up at the group. "I was so sure they were going to kick me out… But instead…" I reach up and wipe a few tears off my face. "Instead, I found my true family…"

"It hasn't been easy since then… We've had a few hiccups, getting her settled in with us… But we wouldn't trade it for the world." I stand and start for a back room. ~ _ **Mari?**_ ~

~ _I just need some quiet, Spot. Little too much new-ness…_ ~

~ _ **All right. I'll be right here if you need me.**_ ~

* * *

I step into the peaceful silence of my office and shift down to human form before sitting in my special-order office chair. I open my laptop and start working on a story with some peaceful music playing over the computer's speakers.

I look up when I hear a knock. "Yes?"

A white faceplate peeks around the corner. "Hey. Can I come in?"

I turn around and smile as I try to remember which Aerial this is. "Flight?" He nods. "Yeah, sure. Come on in." I wait until he's settled on the floor before shifting back up to my bot form and sitting in front of him. "Did you need something?"

"Just to get away from my brothers for a while. They kind of…pick on me…because I'm kind of…"

"Flighty?" He nods sheepishly. "Don't worry about it. I'm the same way sometimes—well, actually…most of the time." I laugh. "Tripped up a step because I was hyper and daydreamy…"

He sighs heavily. "A lot of the Autobots think I'm a menace in the air because if it. I just like to look around as I fly."

"I look around when I drive… Not smart, but I do." I chuckle. "I'm surprised I made it to Chicago in one piece to begin with!" I smile and lay a hand on his leg. "There's one thing you need to remember when they get like that."

"What's that?"

"No matter what they say, you're perfect just the way you are." I smile up at him. "It's actually something I learned when I got out here. Back home… I was always tormented because I'm child-like and a dreamer—I lived in a fantasy world to escape the hell I lived in then, and they hated it—thought I was nuts." I sigh heavily. "I regress from time-to-time, too—you know, act like a little kid?" He nods. "They'd make fun of me, or out-right abuse me for it. Here…" I chuckle softly. "I regressed just this morning, from excitement over meeting Optimus, and they didn't even bat an optic—they just sat there and enjoyed it—well…" I giggle. "Blades kind of laughed, but that was because "She's cute when she's regressed and angry."."

"What happened?"

I shrug. "My foster kitten wouldn't take her bottle. She only does for Groove, and it drives me nuts sometimes…" I smile. "We're their hope, Flight."

"What?"

"You and I—the childlike ones with the sparks of dreamers. We're the ones that make the darkest times seem a little more bearable to the rest of them. We're their hope, when things seem hopeless, because we never stop believing in the future."

"I guess you're right." He stands. "Ready to go back to the others?"

"Sure." I smile and pull the door open. "I really just needed some time away from new-ness. I've got a condition called Autism, and sometimes I just need a break from…well, from life, I guess."

* * *

"Hey, Flight! Finally find your way back?"

"Hope you didn't run into a wall on your way back!"

"He's such a space case, he probably ran into them all."

I clear my throat and cross my arms at the two unruly Aerials. "Stop picking on him. He's all you've got!" I huff. "Besides, I'm just as bad as him, and I manage to get around without walking into walls." Blades and Hot Spot snicker a little, and I do as well once I catch the memory they're laughing about. "Doors are another story all together, but _walls_?"

Fireflight gives me a look. " _Doors_?"

"I tend to get so wrapped up in what I'm saying—or thinking—that I forget the doors aren't going to open just because I'm walking toward them. Thankfully, it's only happened with Blades and Spot around, and I know how to laugh at myself." I shrug. "Used to walk into refrigerators all the time back home, too…door frames…tripped over my own feet and everything else possible…" I shake my head at myself. "But I know how to laugh at myself—that's a good thing to learn, Flight. When they're laughing _with_ you, it doesn't hurt as much."

Hot Spot turns to me worriedly. "As much?"

"There's still the pain from walking into a door to deal with, you know."

"I thought you meant it upset you."

I shake my head. "Nope. You're good, Big Guy."


	19. Panic in the Streets

**I only own my OC's (Story took a different path than I expected, so be warned!)**

* * *

 **Panic in the Streets**

 **February 16, 2016**

"Mari, wake up."

"Mhmm?" I blink up at Hot Spot. "Wha's goin' on?"

"Ship crashed downtown."

I sit up and sigh as I scrub my face with a hand. "What time is it?"

"Ten in the morning." He chuckles softly. "You weren't kidding about sleeping all day if you get to bed after ten."

"It's the PTSD." I stand. "What's the sitrep?"

"Small Cybertronian ship's down almost in the Chicago river. There's panic in the streets. The Alderman's freaking out, called us in to handle the situation. You know Cemetery Wind's not far behind when Cybertron is mentioned, so we'd better hurry before they hurt someone."

Now that I'm fully awake, I give Hot Spot a horrified look. "Call Silver. Get Superion to back you up. We'll need Defensor to run interference, and Ratchet's not leaving this property while he's sparked, so I may need Aid if it's bad. I'm not trained enough for solo work yet." I blink. "Sorry if I seem to be taking command—"

"Don't worry about it. You're a prime. You're supposed to. You're not undermining me, Mari." He sighs. "You were saying?"

"Right…Superion, Defensor, no Ratch…Aid…" I smile. "Okay. Get Optimus and the rest of the warriors just in case we need a strike team, though I doubt we will. Have Prowl handle the Alderman. Let's roll."

* * *

We pull up to the ship, and I climb out and transform before the others follow suit.

"Protectobots, form Defensor!"

I'm so caught up in watching my brothers combine that I miss Superion's combination. I look up from Defensor when a large hand rests on his shoulder. I take a deep breath before addressing the titans. "Keep the bystanders safe, and watch for cons or Cemetery Wind—especially the latter. I don't need another panic over that, thank you." I sigh and turn toward the ship, which is listing into the water, about to fall in. "Hold up, Defensor!"

"Mariposa?"

"Can you put it on solid ground? It's about to fall in, and I can't check for survivors if it's in the water."

"Certainly." The large hands that used to be Blades and First Aid delicately move the ship onto the grass. "It looks like an escape pod…"

"Thank you!" I step over, and enter an over-ride code Aid had taught me. "It's so…small…" I shrink down to human form and crawl inside with a little trepidation caused by a fear of getting stuck. I gasp in surprise when I find a human-sized orange and silver mech. "By the All Spark…" I run a hand over the off-line mini-mech, brushing the dust away and revealing a red Autobot symbol. "Holy…" The mech's optics snap open, causing me to scream, which in turn, causes the minicon to scream.

"Is something wrong?"

I turn to Defensor sheepishly. "He woke up."

Aid splits off and runs over to me before looking into the pod. "We need to get him back home. Can you load him up if I transform?"

I shake my head and back out. Once I'm out, I shift up to bot form and pick up the minicon. "Comm Ratchet and tell him we have a minicon. Aerials—" I shake my head. "Defensor, tell Superion he can head back to base, and—" I shake my head again and simply transform around the minicon before starting for home. ~ _Spot, I got the casualty, and I'm heading back home. Prowl should have the Alderman covered by now, and he'll be able to calm the masses better than we can._ ~

~ _ **Get him home. We'll see you there. I need to make sure no one was hurt in the crash.**_ ~

* * *

I pull up the drive and speed into the med bay.

"What the frag are you doing Mari?"

I transform slowly, revealing the little orange mech still held protectively. "Minicon. His ship crashed downtown. Aid and the others are making sure no humans were hurt in the crash, then they'll be home."

"How are you doing with the separation?"

"I'll be fine. I'm more worried about the little guy right now."

"Hand him here."

I shake my head and lay him on the medical berth gently. "It'll be okay, Little One. You're safe now. We'll get you fixed up good as new."

* * *

It doesn't take long to have the little fellow up and moving, though it takes a little longer when he requests that we get rid of the wheels strapped to his waist. It takes Ratchet about half an hour to fix the little guy's rounded feet before releasing him to my care.

"Now, then…let's get you inside."

"Aren't you going to show him to the base, like you did the others yesterday?"

I shake my head as footsteps approach me from behind. "She's taken to him for some reason. We'll keep him with us."

I glance behind me and grin before hugging my oldest brother. "Spot!"

"Hi, Mari. Why don't we get…"

"Fixit."

Spot nods. "Fixit, up to the house. I'll send you and Aid out after what he'll need, and the rest of us will make sure he's taken care of while you're gone." I raise an eyebrow. "Aid's been the same way since before we came to Earth."

"Okay." I blink up at him. "I want a symbiote…"

Hot Spot simply nods. "Then you can have one. Right now, we have to get Fixit settled in."

* * *

Aid and I head into town and pick up what we'll need before returning home. I quickly set up a red metal twin bed for the minicon before making it with red and white sheets and a red blanket and red and yellow quilt, then head downstairs to find him and Hot Spot sitting on the couch together.

I take him up to show him the room before showing him around, then leave him back in the Living Room with Spot and head back out to help Ratchet and First Aid in the medical bay. It's pretty surprising when the little orange minicon joins me shortly after I meet up with the two. While I go through my lessons with Ratchet and Aid, the little guy looks around, then steps over to talk with Ratchet. After a moment, Ratchet takes him into his office, leaving Aid and I alone.

~ _When are you going to ask the little guy about symbiosis?_ ~

~ _What?_ ~

~ _I can tell you care for him that way—especially with how you reacted to finding him in the first place. So when are you going to ask him to be your symbiote?_ ~

~ _I… I can really do that? He won't think I'm being pushy, or…or too forward?_ ~

~ _Of course not! Not if he's as sweet as Spot says he is!_ ~

~ _Excuse me?_ ~

~ _ **Mari, he's as pacifistic as Aid is, and such a sweet mech, but he's**_ **lonely** _ **. We spent the entire morning talking while you and Aid were getting that bed and the other supplies for him. He just wants a place—they treated him like a slave, Mari. He's been through the pit and back to get to us, and now he doesn't know what to do…**_ ~

~ _You mean like I was when we met…_ ~ I sigh softly through the bond. ~ _Spot, I want him as a symbiote more than I can even find the words to say, but I'm so scared that he'll reject me…_ ~

~ _ **He'd be about as likely to turn you down as the five of us were, Mari, and we didn't.**_ ~

~ _I still thought you were going to…_ ~

~ **Mari, we're here for you. Don't worry about whether or not we'll stay, because we won't leave. Worry about proving that** _ **you**_ **won't leave to the little guy now. We'll be right here no matter what happens to you.** ~

~ _ **And we'll back you up with him too, if we need to. We won't leave you.**_ ~

~ _ **You don't have to pay us back for taking you in… We'd never want that… Just pay it forward.**_ ~

~Besides, Mari. He's really, really nervous about all this himself. The two of you need each other.~

~ _Guys…_ ~ I shake my head, trying not to laugh. They've barely met the little guy, while I'd had him as mine in the fantasy world for a month before I met them. He'd been the only part I really missed after I got the five of them. ~ _I get it, okay. I got it. Stop doubting things and just ask the little guy if he wants to be a symbiote. I'm not doubting_ him _, Guys. I'm doubting_ me _._ ~

~ _ **What?**_ ~

~ _I don't know if I can do this for real, Spot. I don't know if I have the ability to care for someone other than myself right now, and…even though I already love him like he was from my own spark, I can barely take care of Winky, Miko, and Jasper, let alone myself! How will I take care of a minicon too?_ ~

~ **We're all helping you with Jasper, and we have for the last five days, since we found her.** ~

~ _I think she's about ten days old, so we've got this kitten thing down by now. Jasper's going to get easier to take care of, and we can't wait to see her running around the house._ ~

~ _The other cats will be jealous of her then…_ ~

~ _ **Then we just let the other two out as well. We can't rightfully leave that door closed now can we—not if Fixit's going to live in there?**_ ~

~He has a point, Mari. We'll just have to watch our step, and we'll make sure the others know to watch theirs as well if they come up to the house.~

~ _All right… But I still don't know how the pit I'm supposed to ask that kind of question… I kind of…blurt it out to you…the last time…_ ~

~ _ **It's not going to be that hard, Mari. We've done it.**_ ~

~ _With me, I just—_ ~

"What's going on, Mariposa?"

~ _Oh, Primus… What do I say? I don't want to freak him out!_ ~

~ _ **Just stay calm, and be gentle with him. He's had a hard life…**_ ~

~ _So don't jump at the little guy. Got it._ ~ I step over to where the little orange minicon is waiting in the doorway, and crouch to him in my bot form. "Hey."

"Hi."

I sigh softly. "Feel like going back up to the house for a few minutes?"

"I-I just got Ratchet to let me help you guys…"

"And you can, Bitty, just as soon as we're done." He gives me a nervous look. "Hey. I just want to talk with you, okay? I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Okay…"


	20. Fixit's Story

**I only own my OC's!**

 **Lot of dark in this one, guys...**

* * *

 **Fixit's Story**

I lead the minicon up to the room we'd be sharing if I hadn't become a Protectobot, and sit on the bed in my human form before patting the spot beside me. He hesitates a minute before hopping up beside me, and turns to me expectantly. "What did you want to talk t-to m-me about?"

"Calm down, Little One. It's all right. I'm not going to hurt you. As a matter of fact, I was going to offer just the opposite, okay?"

He gives me a surprised look. "Wh-What?"

"I've been thinking about taking on a symbiote long before I even knew I was Cybertronian, Fixit, and I knew exactly who I wanted, but I could only dream he existed for the longest time…"

"M-Mari… Are you…" He looks up to me hopefully, and I watch a tear roll down his cheek, and have to hold myself back from wiping it away. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. It's all right, Little One…" I grab a tissue and wipe the tear away gently. "I could only dream he existed…until today. I'm _really_ new to this, but I would be so…so pleased, to have you as my very first minicon."

"D-do you even know my story? Or about my glitch? Because I-I'm damaged goods, Mari."

"No to the story, and yes to the glitch." I sigh softly. "And I'm damaged too, Little One. I am too. But Defensor took me in anyway, and encouraged me to do the same. I'm really scared of rejection…"

He looks up at me sadly. "Me too…"

"Hey. It's all right, Bitty. I'm not going to leave you, okay? I'll be right here, no matter what happens."

"What if you change your mind…after I tell you my story?"

I run a hand over the minicon's head gently. "I don't think I could, Fix. I've been hoping to find you since I moved in with the Protectobots, and though it's not even been a month yet…and I just met you this morning… I can't lose you."

"…Okay…" He sighs heavily. "I started out as a nurse in Iacon, working with some of the medics who were under Ratchet before the war. Now, the Council…they treated us like braves—naves—"

"Slaves?"

" _Yes_. Thank you. Forcing an obsolete mass-crash—"

"Calm down, Little One. You're getting yourself worked up already…"

"Sorry…"

"Don't be, Bitty. Now, did you mean class?"

"Yep. Minicons, among other frame types, were treated as an obsolete _class_ of Cybertronians who were either too vocal about the Caste System, glitched, a sympathizer to the slaves, an animal-former, a war-build, had an outdated frame design, or knew too little in comparison to the amount of energon they needed to function. Several also still looked at Minicons as if their sparks name-dame—"

I run a gentle hand over his back, trying to help him calm down, and hoping I can prevent him from either glitching or crashing. "Came."

He nods slightly. "Came, from Unicron—he's the destroyer of worlds. We didn't, though. We come from Primus like everyone else…and—what was his name… _Micronus_ _Prime_ was the progenitor of our race, not Unicron." Fixit sighs heavily before continuing the story. "So they treated us like property instead of people if we met any of those criteria; and I met most, if not all, of them. We minicons were already at a point in the war where we had to decide if we wanted to become Decepticons, or stay Autobot, and the council didn't make it easy by doing what they did. It was either starve, or join Megatron…"

I shake my head. "I can't believe Optimus would let that happen, Fixit! He's always been about freedom being everyone's right!"

" _Optimus_ didn't. His predecessor, _Sentinel_ , did."

"I've heard of that glitch. He defected to the 'Cons when he left Cybertron with the pillars, gave the order to exile the Autobots, gave the order to destroy Chicago—that's where we are, by the way; Chicago—and just overall made me both furious and despondent at the same time—and that was when it was only a movie. When I'd learned that it had really happened…well, I was more focused on the fact that we'd really lost Ratchet, but still…I was broken… And Defensor still doesn't know that, either, so…"

"Don't tell them, right?"

"Until I get the chance to, and I'm not too focused on telling them about hating what happened to Cybertron and Chicago five years ago. It's in the past now, so it's not coming up unless we watch the movie."

Fixit sighs sadly. "I have a degree in engineering too, and they just…just threw me away… They sent me to work on the _Alchemor_ , a—"

"High security prison ship sanctioned by the Autobot council—the _corrupt_ Autobot council."

"Yes, that one." He sighs heavily as I run a hand over his back. "Anyway, so I'd been working on the _Alchemor_ for a while, and settled in on the ship—it was almost full, but we hadn't taken off yet…nor were we allowed to leave it—when…"

* * *

 _Fixit's rolling down the hall of the_ Alchemor _, checking the pods in his sector for damage, and their contents for signs of life, when a mech, Camshaft, rolls up beside him. "Want to hang out in the quarters with me later?"_

 _"Sure!"_

* * *

"I had no reason to doubt his motives, Mari. He was my best friend… He knew my spark was too powerful to risk anything—that I spark easy, but can't carry to term—so I rarely interface with anyone unless I really care about them… I've lost four bitlets already…" Fixit leans into my side and sniffles, causing me to hand him another tissue. I have a really bad feeling about where this story is going, but I won't stop him for anything. I know how it feels—that fierce _need_ to get your story out after you're finally freed from the situation. "But… When I got to our shared quarters—um…all the caretaker and guard minicons were forced to share the same room on the ship, because all but one of the others had stasis cells filled with the prisoners we had to guard, and that one was for the overseer, so the remaining pods that would have been stored there were lining the secondary halls. Those were the ones I had to monitor."

* * *

 _Fixit rolls over and sits beside Camshaft on the berth. "So… what are we going to do?"_

 _Camshaft turns to him with a smirk. "I wanna 'face."_

 _Fixit gives him a horrified look. "No."_

 _"Come on!"_

 _"I spark too easy, and I can't carry to term. You know that better than anyone else on this ship, Camshaft. No."_

 _"I'm not gonna spark ya, Fixit. Everyone else frags on their off shifts!"_

 _"You're only going to hurt me._ No _."_

 _Camshaft scowls at Fixit before pushing him back on the berth. "You made me do this, Fixit." He unfastens the clip holding his wheels around his waist and pulls their model's nigh-useless legs out. "Take 'em off."_

 _"N-_ no _."_

 _"_ Do it _, or I_ will _."_

 _"I. Said._ No _!"_

 _"Fine. Have it your way." Camshaft unfastens the clip and jerks the wheels off to the other side of the berth before straddling Fixit. "I just wanted to have some_ fun _with you! There's nothing else to do on this prison!"_

* * *

"Holy Primus, Sweetspark! You mean he really…"

"Yep." Fixit's tone is really…bitter, dangerously bordering on dark. "He raped me, Mari. I couldn't stop him…" He sighs. "I started having symptoms of carrying just a few days later, but of course, I had to do my best to hide it, or they would have thrown me away yet again. Around that time, we had our last inspection, and…I was late to my shift because of the nausea."

* * *

 _"Fixit."_

 _"C-Council-Femme Rosebud! I-I—"_

 _"You've been late on your rounds for the last three cycles. Do you_ want _me to send you to the scrapyard?"_

 _"N-no…I-I'll t-try h-harder… I-I promise…"_

 _"You'd better." She stalks off, leaving a trembling minicon in her wake._

 _Fixit runs a shaking hand over his pale faceplates. "You've got to pick up the pace, Mech, or they'll throw you away again." He gags suddenly, and barely makes it to a waste bin before purging his tanks with a noisy retch. He straightens and runs a finger over his chin to make sure there's no energon visible._

 _Schematic and Camshaft approach, talking—well, more like Camshaft is bragging—about what had happened. "I can't believe you got the little glitch to interface with you! He won't 'face with anyone!"_

 _Camshaft chuckles. "I know, right? It was a fight just to get him to unwind for a few breem!"_

 _Fixit whimpers from his hiding place, and looks at the floor as a couple tears drip off his chin. He manages to wipe them off right before the two roll past. "Hey, Fixit."_

 _"Wanna get some energon?"_

 _Fixit covers his mouth with a hand and shakes his head quickly. He swallows hard against the rising nausea before moving his hand. "I can't. I'm…I'm still not done with my rounds."_

 _"Oh…well, I'll see you around then."_

 _"You too!" He waves after them before sighing. "Do they really think I'm a glitch?"_

* * *

"I made it a point to avoid them after that, since I wasn't allowed off the ship, and I spent most of my time on the bridge or in the bathroom when I wasn't doing my rounds. I was fueling only because I had to, and most of it would come right back up no matter what I tried." I run a hand over his back before just deciding to pull the 1.5 foot shorter than me minicon—I'm five and a half feet—into my lap. He cuddles in as close as he seems to dare—which is barely anything right now—and his tears, which had been dripping on his legs, are now dripping onto my shirt. I pull out a few more tissues and hand them to him before grabbing one of my plush throw blankets and laying it over his shoulders. "I just knew I was carrying—and that I was going to lose my bitlet—either because of a lack of medical care—I…I was the only medic on board—or because of the usual reasons—but I already loved it…so much… The symptoms only got worse, and before long, I could barely move without feeling like I was about to purge… They had sent one of the lower council-femmes—our overseer on the planet—with us, and she made sure to lash out at me any time she caught me still in my berth during my shifts…"

* * *

 _Fixit's sitting on the edge of his berth, having yet to officially get up because of his now-frequent nausea._

 _"FIXIT!"_

 _"C-Council-Femme Rosebud!"_

 _"Why are you still in berth!? The work-cycle started two breem ago!"_

 _"I-I'm sorry. I-I'm sick, Ma'am… Tank virus."_

 _"Then why are you not in the infirmary where you belong?"_

 _"Because I'm the only medic here, Ma'am. I figured I'd try to 'charge it off…"_

 _"Get to the infirmary, NOW, and don't return to quarters until you are able to complete your shifts."_

 _"Yes, Ma'am."_

* * *

"I went to the med-bay, like she'd told me, and took the chance to actually scan myself, to check for—and on—my bitlet…to see if it would be strong enough to actually survive, or if I was just going to be mourning a fifth sparkling…" His voice breaks then, and I pull him in, and hold him while rubbing his back through the blanket, letting him cry for as long as he needs to. While he does, I choose to simply move the tissue box closer, so he can grab them if he needs them. "It was there—beautiful as always—but not looking any stronger than the others had…" He trails off for a moment, and takes another tissue before attempting yet again to dry his eyes. "I deleted the scans, but I knew, if it would have any chance at all, I'd have to get off the ship, but…with Rosebud…and the risks of miscarrying just from using an escape pod… But…I had to get away. I knew it would be a death sentence for my bitlet, but I just…I couldn't take the stress anymore, Mari…"

* * *

 _In the middle of their off-shift, Fixit sneaks from the med-bay to the escape pods, and sets one of the minicon-sized ones to launch toward the nearest planet before slipping inside. After the door closes, but before the pod launches, he lays a hand over his chest gently. "I'm sorry, Sweetspark. I love you… May Primus keep you…"_

* * *

"And that's how I got here… You and your brothers found my pod, and you brought me here with Ratchet…" He sighs heavily, his shoulders shaking violently with repressed sobs. "I'm too scared now…to ask Ratchet to check for my bitlet… I'm pretty sure it didn't survive the trip to Earth…it was so weak, Mari… Its chances…"

"Oh, Fix…" I pull him in for a gentle hug before leaning him back so I can talk to him. "It's going to be okay, Little One… I'll be right here, no matter what happens." I smile down at him. "Now, we need to go see Aid, okay?"

"W-why?"

"Because you need to have your spark scanned before we do this, and I need to get tips on forming a symbiote bond, because I've never done it before."

"Oh…" He whimpers sadly and curls in on himself, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his chin on his knees, just like I usually do when I'm upset. "Please… C-can't we sk-skip the sc-scan… I-I d-don't want t-t-to see th-that it's g-gone!"

"Oh, Little One…" I pull him in for a hug, and hold him there for a moment. "I'll be right here for you, okay? And if it is gone, then I'll help you get through it; but I don't want you to give up before we know anything, okay? She could be just fine."

"Sh-she?"

I run a gentle hand over his head. "I don't want to call her an it, all right?"

"A-all r-right… I always w-wanted a f-femme…" He slides off my lap before starting for the door. "L-let's g-go…"


	21. Settling InAgain

**I only own my OC's!**

* * *

 **Settling In…Again**

 **med-bay**

Fixit and I step into the med-bay. I'm back in my bot form by now, which makes it easier for me to carry him if he needs me to. "What's going on, Mari?"

"Hey, Aid." I sigh softly. "Fixit needs a spark scan, and I need someone to explain how to form symbiote bonds."

Aid quickly steps over with a scanner, and boosts Fixit onto the berth before starting to scan him. "You would do the same thing we did with you, unless there was some extenuating circum…ooohhh…" He sighs softly, and steps over to me. "Did he know about—"

"Sparkling?" Aid nods. "Yes. He was really scared he'd lost her."

"He really could have, Mari. He could have. It's weak, but holding steady for now." He sighs heavily. "If you hadn't already made up your mind about him, I'd be trying to push you toward a symbiote bond. He needs one more than ever, or the sparklet _won't_ survive, and his spark _won't_ be able to handle _another_ loss."

"But…how…"

"You'll have to take it slow. Even a light merge could hurt _both of them_ at this point, which means we'll have to keep him close for the next several weeks. Once the sparklet transfers in about two weeks, we'll be out of the danger zone, but that doesn't mean we couldn't still have a traumatic end to this carriage. I'll have to teach you about docking for sure. He's _going_ to _need_ you through this, Mari. You have to stay strong… We'll be here for _you_ , but you've _got_ to be here for _him_."

"I already promised the little guy, Aid. I'm not leaving him for anything." The two of us step back over to him. "Aid, could you bring that image up again?"

Fixit shakes his head before looking up to me with pleading eyes, still more tears starting to roll down his faceplates. "P-please d-don't…"

"Of course, just give me a moment…" Aid looks down at the scanner and hits a few keys. "There."

I run a gentle hand over the minicon's head, then use a clean cloth from the counter to wipe the tears away. "Fixit, it's all right, Sweets… Just relax…" I reach over and take the scanner from Aid before showing him the image on the screen. "See? It's okay…"

He runs a finger over the image of the weak-but-obviously alive newspark on the screen as fresh tears roll down his face. He looks up at me with a watery smile. "Mari, she's okay!"

I nod, tearing up a little myself. "Yep. But we'll have to be very careful for a few weeks, okay? You have to stay with us in the big room for a while."

"O-okay… M-my bitlet?"

"We're going to do our best, Sweetspark, okay?" I scoop the minicon into my arms gently and start toward the door, planning to take him back to the house. "For now, we need to get some energon in you, okay?"

"Don't wanna purge anymore…"

"Oh, Sweetspark…" I sigh softly. "That's unavoidable right now, but you need to eat something, or she won't make it, and I don't want to see you hurt like that again, so…"

"I-I'll eat…"

"I can get him some medical grade if he needs it."

Fixit turns to him from my arms. "Th-thanks, First Aid…"

"Fixit?" The three of us turn to Ratchet as one. "What's going on?"

Aid sighs. "Fixit's going to have to stay with Mari for the next several weeks, but I don't want him working for at least the next two—not if he'll have to be on his feet."

"Aid…"

"High-risk carriage, Ratchet. I just confirmed, and he's two weeks in."

"We're going to be working on revivals for a few weeks yet, so he can go on light duty, but I'll still need him to help out a little, okay?"

"I-I can do it."

Ratchet nods. "Have him take it easy today. That crash-landing couldn't have been good on the sparklet…" Aid hands over the datapad chart he'd been updating for Fixit. "Or for his _own_ spark… _Primus_ …"

"…Ratchet?"

"You've lost _four_ _sparklets_ in the past?" Fixit nods. "Fixit, all you would have needed to carry safely to term was a stable bond with someone—preferably a symbiote bond, of course, but any connection would have worked just fine."

"No one ever w-wanted me before…b-because of m-my g-glitch… I-I c-can't t-talk r-r-right…"

"Fix, Sweetie, calm down, okay? You're getting all worked up again, and that's not good for _your_ spark, or for your _bitlet's_ , okay?"

"I _know_ …" He gags suddenly, and Aid rushes over with a bin moments before the minicon purges on me. After he purges—into the bin thank God—with a harsh-sounding retch, I help him shift so he can lean over the bin Aid's holding, but with my hands now _completely_ full, I can't really comfort him through it, so I have to leave that to Aid for now.

Ratchet, rather than Aid, steps over and lays a hand on Fixit's back at another violent retch, trying to calm the trembling little mech. "Easy, Little One… Easy… Just get it out… You will feel a lot better…"

Fixit sits up with a heavy yet relieved-sounding sigh, and runs his arm over his mouth. "Th-thank you…"

"Don't mention it." Ratchet shrugs. "You are not the only one going through this right now. I am due around two weeks after you are."

"Really?"

"Yes. Though mine was sired by Mari's inferno." Ratchet waves us toward the door. "Now, you need to get him inside. It is far too cold out for him at this time, and his spark is not strong enough to handle the temperature change while growing that sparklet. Make sure he gets a cube of medical grade before he recharges, and Fixit?" The minicon, now thoroughly exhausted from both the tears and purging, and still trembling slightly, turns his head to Ratchet and gives him a bleary-eyed look. "I want you to at least _try_ to keep it down, okay? I know it won't be easy, because I have been having problems with that myself, but it is very necessary."

"I'll try."

Aid hands me a small cube of medical grade energon. I turn back to the door before stepping through it, cringing when the little mech starts trembling worse, especially since I have no free hands to even try to keep him warm. "Just hang on, Little One. We're almost there…"

"I-I'm c-c-cold…"

"I know, Bitty. I know. I'm hurrying as fast as I can…" I quickly step into the back door and slam it with my foot, causing Hot Spot to turn to me in shock.

"What's wrong?"

"Fixit's freezing." I set the medical grade cube on the counter before pulling him in front of me. "I need you to run upstairs and get me one of those plush blankets at the foot of my bed, then I need another ride, and he comes with us. It's an emergency."

"What—" Hot Spot shakes his head and rushes up the stairs after the blanket. ~ _ **Mari, what's going on?**_ ~

I slip the energon cube into the microwave to warm it up and tap in the time before turning my attention back to the shivering minicon in my arms. ~ _Fixit's sparked, two weeks in, and it's a weak spark. His own spark is really damaged from past miscarriages, so it's pretty weak too, and he's having trouble regulating temperatures because of the sparklet. We_ have _to keep him with us if she'll have any chance of surviving, because he_ needs _that symbiote bond, but we can't form it fast because it could kill the sparklet. Aid wants Fix off his feet as much as possible, so we'll need to get things set up for the little guy ASAP._ ~

~ _ **Got it. I'll see if I can get Optimus to come with.**_ ~

~ _What?_ ~

~ _ **I'm taking you, but we'll need the trailer so we can get everything home today. If it's as bad as it sounds—and I'm going to talk with Aid about it too—then we need to find a way to get what you need home now. We wouldn't have time to wait for it to be shipped here. Aid.**_ ~

~ _What's wrong, Spot?_ ~

Hot Spot steps over and lays a dark pink plush blanket over my shoulder. I glance up to him and mouth "Thank you" before setting Fixit on his feet and wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. Once he's bundled in the blanket, I pick him back up, and get the now-warm energon cube out of the microwave with a towel before handing both to the minicon in my arms. He immediately starts drinking it, guzzling about half the cube before looking up at me with a small smile. "Getting warmer now?"

"Yeah…" He yawns before turning back to his cube. "I'm tired…"

"Try to get some rest, Sweets. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"M'kay…" I look up from the minicon and start to tidy things up with one hand, taking care of clutter and wiping up a small energon spill in the microwave before the next user incinerates the machine with it. While I work, I turn my attention toward the bond, and listen to my brothers discuss the situation.

~ _ **I need to know how serious Fixit's condition is. I'm taking Mari back into town to get some more things for him, and…**_ ~

~ _Five carriages, first four ended in miscarriages, current one is high-risk, even if the newspark wasn't as weak as it actually is. Fixit could die if he loses this sparkling, Spot._ ~

~ _ **So it**_ **is** _ **as serious as Mari says, isn't it?**_ ~

~ _I want to put him on berth-rest for the entire carriage, but neither Ratchet or the patient in question would allow it to happen…_ ~

~ _ **Why not?**_ ~

~ _Fixit's just gotten Ratchet to let him help out in here, Spot, and… And he's really insistent on pulling his own weight here, so… I'm worried about them, though…_ ~

~ _ **It'll be all right, Aid. He'll get through this. Mari won't let anything bad happen to the newspark, and I know she won't let anything happen to Fixit. She's already really protective of him…**_ ~

~ _ **She has been since we found the pod this morning, Spot…**_ ~

~ _ **I know, Blades.**_ ~

~ _ **We're taking him in too, aren't we?**_ ~

~ _ **Mari is, so…yes. Don't complain to her, though. Fixit—**_ ~

~ _ **He could die without us. I'm not going to argue.**_ ~

~ _Wow. Someone alert the media. Blades is actually showing compassion._ ~

~ _ **Shut up.**_ ~ Blades laughs through the bond. Obviously he knows what I'm doing, and doesn't have much of an argument for once. ~ _ **Just because I love to fight doesn't mean I don't have any compassion. I just don't like Cons.**_ ~

~ _I don't like Cons either, Blades, but I don't like to fight either. Reminds me of when I had to defend myself back home…_ ~ I look down at my arms to find Fixit dozing off with the almost-empty cube still in his hands. ~ _Guys, you need to see this. It's just adorable…_ ~

~What is?~

~ _Fixit's asleep—well, I don't know if he's sound yet, but he's definitely out—and he's still in my arms, and curled up in a blanket, and…_ ~

~ **Adorable. I got it.** ~

~ _ **Are we still going soon?**_ ~

~ _As soon as you get Optimus, and he gets his trailer._ ~

~ _ **Do you know what you want to get?**_ ~

~ _A little pillow, two big pillows, a few more plush blankets, another bed for him in my office, a human-sized couch for my office, a chair his size…_ ~ I pause for a moment. ~ _A bucket to keep with him and trash cans for the living room, my office, the library, and my room just in case he can't get to the bathroom before purging. I also want to get three more litter boxes for the cats, and…I think we need to remodel the downstairs bathroom so that a human can use it as well, just in case Fixit needs it._ ~

~ _ **I'll get onto the remodel as soon as I can. What are we going to do with Fixit, though? He doesn't have a holoform yet, and Ratchet won't allow him to have one until after he sparks…**_ ~

~ _They know about us now, Spot, so he can go as-is._ ~ I think about that for a moment. ~ _We'll have to keep him bundled in the blanket until we can find him a coat, though… Aid himself said he can't regulate his temp that well right now, so…_ ~

I hear the door open and shut behind me, and look up when I feel a hand on my shoulder. "You ready to go?"

I nod. "Yeah…" I sigh softly. "Could you take him so I can go back to human form?"

"Sure." I lay the tiny-looking minicon into Spot's arms and return to my human form—which is wearing a black and white striped sweater and jeans—before taking the minicon back in a bridal hold. "All right. Let's go."

"What about…"

"I'll wake him up when we get there. He's exhausted, Spot…"

"I'm sure he is." The fire-bot leads me out front before transforming and letting me in on the passenger side first. I climb up carefully and get Fixit settled in before walking around to the driver's side. It makes me feel closer to Spot when I take that seat.

* * *

 **Furniture Store Parking Lot**

I climb up on the passenger side of the truck and open the door before leaning inside. "Fixit, Sweets, wake up."

The minicon stirs before looking around nervously. "Where are we?"

I reach over and take his hand. "We're outside a furniture store, in Spot. Optimus came with us so we could take everything home tonight."

"Wh-why are we here?"

"We need to get a few things for you."

"Oh…okay…" He moves to curl back into the seat, only for me to boost him onto the ground. "Mari… I'm tired!"

"I know, Sweetspark…trust me, I know… But you have to stay close to me right now, okay?" I lay a hand on his shoulder gently. "Now, you have to tell me if your chest starts hurting, okay?"

"Okay…"

"And you have to make sure you take it easy. If you start to get any more tired, you need to let me know, and I'll have Spot get a chair, okay?"

"Okay…"

"All right." I put an arm around him and lead him into the store. "How are you feeling, besides tired?"

"A little queasy, but it's not too bad right now…"

"That's good." I turn to my oldest brother. "You need to go get another flat cart, and get the bathroom stuff. I'll stay with Fixit." I stop to think. "And sorry if I'm taking charge again… I'm really not trying to undermine your authority…"

"You're fine, Mari." He glances up to the markers on the ceiling. "Where will you be?"

"Beds and Bedding, for now. I don't know about later." I stop and pick out a sturdy-looking wooden twin bed before taking one out and laying it on my own flat cart. It's barely even noon, but I feel like I'm going to be up until midnight putting all this stuff together.

I choose a mattress before getting another white fitted sheet, and a red top sheet and pillowcase before grabbing the new pillows—making sure to get two long pillows for him to sleep on if he wants to. After that, we go to find a new couch and chair just big enough for Fixit to use—the chair matches his armor, and the couch is his favorite color. On our way to find Hot Spot, we stop and get several different colored trash cans and a red bucket, then sigh heavily. "Stinkin' furniture store doesn't have cat stuff…" I shake my head. ~ _Groove?_ ~

~ **Yeah?** ~

~ _Would you be able to run to the store and get me three litter boxes for the house? That way, the cats won't mess in the house when they're allowed to roam. I'll need more litter for them, too._ ~

~ **I got it, Little Sis. Anything else?** ~

~ _More of the plush throw blankets. I get the feeling we're gonna need them. We'll need at least three, preferably more, and… Grab a couple red mugs, just in case… And if you could find a men's coat that'll fit him…_ ~

~ **I'll have them home in about half an hour…** ~

~ _Thanks… Sorry I had to ask…_ ~

~ **Don't be, Mari. You've got your hands full. What's Spot doing?** ~

~ _He's getting stuff to add human fixtures to the bathroom downstairs._ ~ I glance down to find Fixit sitting on the flat cart. Behind us, a man is pushing a cart holding the couch and chair we'd selected for Fixit. ~ _Meet me at the registers when you're done._ ~

~ _ **Any other stops after this?**_ ~

~ _Nope. Groove's getting the blankets, cat boxes, and litter for us, and I think this little sleepy-head needs to get to bed…_ ~ I look up as he walks up behind me. "You got everything?"

"I think so."

"All right, then. Let's pay for this stuff and get it into the truck so we can get home."

"Is that a transformer?"

I glance from the cashier, to the minicon, and back to the cashier. "Yep."

"Is it dangerous?"

"Nope." I swipe my new credit card before glancing back to the cashier. "Fixit here is an Autobot, and they're the good guys."

"Some of us are starting to figure that out, but it's still not easy to believe…especially after what their kind did to our city…twice."

I look down at the memories from the movie. Even knowing that Defensor wasn't here then, I still can't help but imagine what would have happened to them if they were… "Mari? You okay?" I look up to Spot and nod. "Chicago?" I shrug. "Mari… Don't… Don't leave us out. I know you don't mean to, but we still don't like it when you leave us in the dark like this…"

"It's not you guys… It's Sentinel… Fix told me a lot of what he caused on Cybertron, and… I can't believe it, Spot… I know it happened, but…I don't want to believe it…"

"It's okay, Mari."

"You're one of them."

I turn to see the cashier's frightened expression, and sigh heavily. "Again, Autobots. Not dangerous. Good guys." I huff. "And they're Cybertronians, not "transformers"."

He sounds really unsure of the whole situation. "Really?"

"Really." I shake my head. "Ever needed police?"

"No."

"Ambulance?"

"Nope."

"Firetruck?"

His eyes widen, and he nods. "About two weeks ago, when my apartment caught on fire. Why?"

"Was the main truck blue?" He nods, causing me to smile, and point back to Hot Spot. "Then it was him. His name's Hot Spot. He leads the Protectobots."

"Mari, we need to get Fixit home."

"I know." I sigh softly. ~ _I know you hate it when people think of Defensor as equal to the Cons, so I'm trying to remedy that. Besides, you need to comm Optimus, and let him know we need his help to load the trailer._ ~ I turn my attention back to the cashier. "The Protectobots become Defensor. He's big, and his eyes may be red, but he's _not_ a Decepticon. I can personally vouch for him, because I live with them. They're not going to hurt anyone."

"I'll take your word for it. Need any help loading the truck?"

"We've got it. I think you've had enough of a shock today." I push my cart out behind Hot Spot, and follow him to Optimus' trailer. We quickly load up the trailer in our bot forms, then I take Fixit from Spot and get him settled into the passenger seat, then walk around to the driver's side before climbing in. "Let's get home."

* * *

Once we pull into the drive, I slide out and walk around to get Fixit, but instead of waking him up this time, I simply pick him up in my bot form and carry him inside before laying him on the couch. Once I'm sure he's settled, I turn back to help Hot Spot and Optimus bring things in. "Need any help?"

"Your hands…"

"Are more than capable of carrying furniture, guys." I flex my wrists a couple times, the rubber brace Aid had given me for my bad wrist still in place and helping with the achiness I usually have in it. "I can do more in a brace than I can do out of one most of the time."

Optimus sets the red couch down and sighs before laying a hand on my shoulder. "We know you are more than capable of helping us, but Ratchet and First Aid both insist that you focus on Fixit at this moment."

"You can arrange it once we've gotten it inside, okay?"

"Okay…" I glance over to the sleeping minicon who is still wrapped up in the dark pink blanket. "Watch for Groove. He should be getting home soon."

"I will."

I watch them for another moment, directing them to where the new purchases go—the red couch to my office with the dark wooden bed and the new mattress, the orange easy chair and matching footstool to the living room, and the toilet and sink Spot had bought to the bathroom downstairs. Then Hot Spot moves to get started installing the new purchases in the bathroom while I assemble and make the bed in my office before moving the little guy inside and tucking him into the new downstairs bed so I can shut the door and muffle the sounds of construction.

Spot's done by the time Groove gets home. While the two of them check to make sure it's installed properly, I get the new plush blankets put away on a shelf before setting up the new litter boxes and releasing our cats to roam. Once we're all secured, I finish a small project in my bathroom—making a little counter just high enough for Fixit to use—and get one of the extra jars of Blades' polish set up on it for the little guy, with his own personal red towels and washcloths settled in the cabinet under it.


	22. Advice

**I only own my OC's!**

* * *

 **Advice**

Once I'm finally done, I step into my office with one of my many books from our library, and settle on the couch to read.

Rather than read my book, I glance over to watch the minicon recharge, and think back to the talk Aid and I had while Spot and Optimus brought the new furnishings in.

Aid had taken half an hour from the med-bay to explain docking—simply attaching a minicon or laying them against your spark to fuel them in emergencies—which can be used to strengthen a symbiote bond or form one in this special—and actually rather common in the past—case.

He looks so small and defenseless when he's asleep, and even though I know he's _not_ defenseless, I still feel a desperate pull to protect him from whatever could hurt him, while at the same time, feeling like I should just let him live his own life and not try to hold him back… ~ _Spot…_ ~

~ _ **What's wrong, Little Sis?**_ ~

~ _It's…hard to explain…_ ~

~ _ **Talk to me, Mari.**_ ~

~ _First, are you done putting that toilet and sink in?_ ~

~ _ **Yep. Groove and I made sure it was secure, and I've got it hooked into our plumbing, so we're good!**_ ~

~ _Good…_ ~ I sigh heavily through the bond. ~ _Would we be able to go out back…maybe to the base?_ ~

~ _ **Mari…**_ ~

~ _I want to talk with you and Silver both…_ ~

~ _ **Oh… This is about Fixit, isn't it?**_ ~

~ _Y-yeah… I don't know how I'm supposed to…to do this…this… Um…leadership thing…_ ~

~ _ **You don't know how to lead a single minicon?**_ ~

~ _Oh ha ha, Spot. You know as well as I do he's only going to be the first of many… And…and I want to do it right… I don't want to make him think I don't care…but I don't want him to think I'm sheltering him either… and I'm just…lost! I'm lost, Spot!_ ~

~ _ **Calm down, calm down. It's all right. I've been there before. It's okay. I'm sure Silver will be able to help you.**_ ~

~ _You're sure he can?_ ~

~ _ **If he can help a newspark mech figure out leadership dilemmas when he'd just about lost his brother… He'll have no problem helping a newspark Symbiote carrier that's**_ **part of a gestalt** _ **figure out what she's doing.**_ ~ He stops outside the door and taps lightly. ~ _ **Come on. You can bring Fixit if you want… It won't bother any of us… Least of all me.**_ ~

I shift up to bot form and pick the sleeping minicon up before laying him against my chest—in a docked position even though he's asleep—and putting the dark pink blanket over him. ~ _You…_ ~

~ _ **I met Silver the day after Aid was hurt by the disruptor cannon, Mari. I was at a pretty low point at the time…I didn't know what to do, and there was a big chance we could have lost Aid… We weren't even a vorn yet, but…but we almost lost a part of ourselves…**_ ~

~ _Hey, it's okay…_ ~

~ _ **And I can tell he's already like…like one of us, to you… It's like he's another part of us, and we could lose him, just like we could have lost Aid…**_ ~

~ _Spot…_ ~

~ _ **And he's a medic too…**_ ~

~ _Nurse, actually. Medical_ assistant _. But you do have a point._ ~ I stop and give the mech an awkward hug at the door to the main base. ~ _This is bringing everything back from when you almost lost Aid, isn't it?_ ~ He nods. ~ _And I can feel your emotions, Spot. Don't cry for me, okay? I'll get through this. We all will. (singing)_ _Just have a little faith and you'll see_ _._ ~

~ _ **Okay, okay. I get it. Now it's my turn to calm down.**_ ~

~ _Yep._ ~ We step up to the Aerials door, and I step up to knock on it lightly.

" _Who_ _is_ _it_?"

" _Flight…_ " Silverbolt opens the door and smiles at the three of us. "Hey, Spot. What's going on?"

"Mari needs some advice, and she wanted to talk with both of us, so…"

"Want to go somewhere else? My brothers might try to interrupt…"

"As usual." Spot deadpans with a smile.

"We can go back to my office." I shift the recharging minicon in my arms slightly, causing the blanket to slip. The base is warmer than outside, but it's still not warm enough for the little fellow, so I quickly attempt to catch the blanket without running the risk of dropping the minicon, but it slips through my fingers. Before I can adjust enough to pick it up, Spot grabs it and helps me re-cover the minicon before he gets chilled. "Thanks…"

"Don't mention it."

* * *

 **my office**

"This is really nice, Mari."

"Thank you." I sigh heavily. "Credit goes to Hot Spot, though. They set it up for me." I shrug. "But I only have the one bot-sized chair…"

"We can sit on the floor, Mari. We don't need chairs."

"Okay…" I lay Fixit on the couch before returning to human form and settling beside him, and pull my fleece blanket close. I need it, with the stress I'm under right now.

"Now, what's going on, Mari?"

I sigh softly, and run a hand over Fixit's head as I think. "I'm…" I shake my head, causing Spot to reach over and lay a finger on my leg. I rest my braced hand on it lightly. "I'm going to be working on forming a symbiote bond with the little guy here, and…" I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees before putting my chin on my hands. "He's at the beginning of a high-risk carriage, and…and I'm already scared of losing him…"

"He's the one we helped rescue this morning, isn't he?" I nod. "He's really cute."

"Thank you. He's also really sick, Silver. Aid said if he loses the sparklet, he won't survive it, and… And part of me says I need to do everything I can to keep him safe, but…"

Silver smiles slightly. "But the rest of you doesn't want to shelter him too much, and insists he should get to be his own person." I nod. "That's a typical problem with a gestalt leader, Mari. We want to keep them all safe, but every one of us feels that pull to answer our callings as well… It's not easy, but we do it because we have to." He sighs. "I'm sure that's not what you want to hear, but I have to say it before we go much further."

"I understand." I sigh heavily. "I just…don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore… I thought I'd gotten everything figured out, after Aid told me I was a Prime, but…" I sigh heavily. "More times than not, I catch myself doing or saying something that undermines Spot's leadership… And he's always been okay with it, but I feel so guilty about it…and…"

Silver turns to Spot with a startled look. "She's been taking command?"

"Not _a lot_ , Silver. It's only happened three times, and it's always been in times of stress…it's like she's a natural-born leader, even if she doesn't think so…"

I nod. "The first time…I'd just shot a man for attacking them, even though they'd wanted me to stay inside, and…I was so scared that I'd lose them that I couldn't follow the orders I'd gotten through Aid… Then…"

"She started beating herself up… Actually, I don't think she's really stopped…" I shake my head. "She's just as pacifistic as Aid, Silver, but she's got this…hero complex… Like she has to fight for those who can't… I tried to tell her the same thing I had Aid, and she…well…"

* * *

 _I feel someone shift before sitting beside me, his arm around my back. "We've been through something similar with Aid. If you don't want to fight anymore, we won't make you."_

 _"I-I…" I sigh softly. "I have to know how… I promised Ratchet…I'd fight for him…"_

 _"We can fight for him. Don't…don't force yourself to go against who you are. We'll fight. I told Aid I wouldn't let him be in that position again—that he wouldn't touch another weapon as long as I'm alive if that's what it took…"_

 _I sigh softly. "You don't have to go that far, Guys. I like weapons, I just don't like pointing them at something alive. That gun I used…it's mine, from back home. I got it for Christmas when I was seventeen."_

 _A white leg slips into my line of sight as Aid settles on my other side. "Your fire won't kill, and Groove and I could teach you Circuit-Su."_

 _I scoff softly. "Third degree burns are just as bad, if not worse, Aid. They'd be in pain…" I shake my head. "I'm not using my fire on humans, and that's final. Cons…maybe. I don't know yet." I close my eyes, and sigh softly. "I want to be my own person, now, and who I am… I-I can't do that again. I'll have to, someday, I know, because I'm a prime, but…"_

 _I hear a soft scoff to my right. "I'm still your commander, you know."_

 _I giggle. "I know… I'm not undermining you, Spot, I just…" I sigh softly. "My beliefs are so contrary to what I've been taught, growing up, that I don't know what to do…" I rub my arm anxiously. "I may never know what's right…"_

 _"You're more stubborn than Aid."_

 _I shrug. "I'm alive, aren't I?"_

* * *

I sigh softly, catching the memory instantly. "I'll have to fight, Silver, even if I don't want to, because I'm a Prime… Mariposa _Prime_ … But I hate the idea of hurting people… And it's not like I'm trying to undermine him…"

"Then she took command this morning."

"She did?"

"The mission was all her plan, Silver. I didn't even…"

I think back to that morning.

* * *

 _Now that I'm fully awake, I give Hot Spot a horrified look. "Call Silver. Get Superion to back you up. We'll need Defensor to run interference, and Ratchet's not leaving this property while he's sparked, so I may need Aid if it's bad. I'm not trained enough for solo work yet." I blink. "Sorry if I seem to be taking command—"_

 _"Don't worry about it. You're a prime. You're supposed to. You're not undermining me, Mari." He sighs. "You were saying?"_

 _"Right…Superion, Defensor, no Ratch…Aid…" I smile. "Okay. Get Optimus and the rest of the warriors just in case we need a strike team, though I doubt we will. Have Prowl handle the Alderman. Let's roll."_

* * *

I rub the back of my neck. "Guess I did seem a little… Overzealous… This morning…"

Spot shakes his head, and smiles over at me. "It was a good plan, Mari. Things might have gone to the pit without you. Street might be hyper-aware, but Silver's the one with a tactician, not us. It could have cost us precious time having to go through Skydive for a plan, because he doesn't know Chicago yet."

"That's true… What about the third time?"

"At the furniture store a few hours ago, but I was kind of leaving that up to her because it was for her minicon."

I shrug. "I just…wanted to make sure he had what he'd need… That he wouldn't have to struggle through this any more than he has already…"

"I understand, Mari. You're just worried about the minicon, and you don't know what you're going to do. We've all been there before." Silverbolt sighs before turning to Spot. "Did she have any siblings, back at her old home?"

"I had a brother, but…he's more like a Con than a bot, though…"

"Single carriage?"

"Yep."

"Did she act like this before you added her to Defensor?"

"I haven't changed much at all since I joined Defensor, Silver… Leaving home was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, though…"

Silver turns to me, his eyes wide with shock. "Were you close to anyone? A friend…cousin?"

"Best friend. We had a twin connection…"

"Same age, older, or younger?"

"Younger. By seven years."

"Wow…" He turns to Hot Spot. "We need to get those two together…and see how they act when they're together."

"What… What's going on here?"

Silver turns to me intently. "How did you sleep, before you came here?"

I tilt my head to the side, but answer him anyway. "Um…" I sigh heavily. "I had to curl into a corner on the floor sometimes, because I couldn't sleep alone…I'd cuddle with the wall…or a sleeping bag full of blankets…I needed a lot of them anyway… I told Aid this last week…the morning before we formed the bond."

"Not the part about the corner, Mari." Hot Spot sighs. "She _did_ tell us once that she hadn't been able to sleep unless she'd climb in bed with her parents growing up, so…"

"And your room back home?"

"Cluttered. Worse when I was little, but still pretty bad before I left…"

"Hot Spot… Are you getting this?" He nods, seemingly speechless. "You already felt close to the Protectobots when you met them?"

I nod. "I'd been part of them in my fantasy… Then I got out here, and…it became my reality…"

"Primus…" Silver shakes his head. "If I hadn't met you guys before she was around, I'd insist she'd been a part of you from day one…" Silver sighs. "How long had you known your friend?"

"Since I was seventeen. I'm almost twenty-four now, so…seven years."

"So she is…"

"Almost seventeen now."

"So you met her when she was ten. Was her side of the connection just as fast, or…"

"We met in May, we became friends in October, and we noticed the connection at the same time, within days of becoming friends. Either we'd wear the same color, or the same style, but without planning it—though we planned it for fun sometimes… We had the same likes and dislikes… We were like twins separated at birth, Silver, and…and I miss her, so bad right now…"

Spot reaches over to me and lays a finger gently on my lap. "Mari… Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"I…I didn't want you to think I didn't like being with you… I wanna go back, but only to see _her_ , and… And I can't… I can't throw myself back to the lions just to see…" I trail off, not wanting to say what I'm thinking. ' _My sister…_ ' I shake my head. "And we can't bring her here without her mother's permission—not until she's eighteen, and…" My voice breaks, but I manage to not start crying in front of them.

"It's okay, Mari. It'll be all right." Hot Spot turns to Silverbolt with a heavy sigh. "We'll get through this, Silver… Mari's really strong emotionally, as you can probably tell, but…"

"We _need_ to see the two together. How soon is her spring break?"

"Not 'til mid-March… It feels like it's going to be forever 'til I get to see her again…but…"

"It's only a month away, Mari." He turns to Silverbolt. "We'll see what we can do. Hopefully, she'll be allowed to come visit for the week, but we can't be sure yet…"

"Her parents are really strict with her… Not mean…just… They never let her spend the night at my place, and I only got to once at hers, back when Aaron threatened to drown me in a bucket of water when I was twenty…"

"We'll do our best, Mari. I know you want to see her, and we're not sending you back to your old family, either." Spot sighs. "Anyway… The two of you have quite a problem—one I haven't even fully figured out—but I can help you through it. You'll never get over the worry and fear when they get hurt… You will panic, especially if it's bad, but Spot and I will be right here for you if you need us, okay?"

I nod, then blink up at Silver. "W-what if…" I trail off before starting again. "What if…she is… _actually_ …connected to me? What would I do? I already know I can't be without Defensor, but…if…" I look down at my lap. "If…"

Hot Spot moves closer before cupping a hand around my back. "You won't lose us, Mari. Even if it turns out we've only got _half_ of you, you won't lose us. You're still our little sister."

"Have you guys had any…actual signs? Like…if someone felt something, and the other picked it up…"

I pause to think, my eyes lighting up when I remember a moment during an almost-unforgettable four-month fight from our second year as friends. "Back when I was eighteen—I'd had to re-take my senior year, and another girl—one I knew as a fair-weather friend and a cliquey brat—was trying to take her from me. I felt like I had to protect her, and tried to prevent her from getting close to the girl, but I failed at every turn. Made myself really sick trying to save her from the girl—nausea, headaches…and I triggered my asthma a lot as well, Spot…" I reach down and finger the mostly-green bracelet on my unbraced wrist—one of two I always wear anymore. "She gave me this, about a month in… Then her mom told her she couldn't be my friend… Then we were allowed to be together again after a weekend…though I don't know why she changed her mind… Then I threw this at her because I couldn't get her to stop running from me. I was hurting…and I got bitter and angry over it all, and I just… Didn't want to see her with the girl anymore…because she'd be hurt…" I sigh heavily. "She'd told me about two weeks before Christmas break, that she'd been having problems with her stomach, but she didn't go into detail…and I was nauseated all the time, especially after I ate…because of the stress I was under…" I shake my head. "She still gave it back to me, after everything, and… I still wonder if I deserve her…after all that…" I turn to the minty-green one in front of it. "I bought these last August, and she's got one just like it back in Indiana. They're—at least to me—a sign of perseverance…of rebuilding and…and staying together no matter what happens between us." I shake my head. "Regret is…is a real emotion with me, anymore, but I still believe, with all my heart, that she would have been hurt if I hadn't fought for her."

"Mari…" Silverbolt leans toward me intently. "Did she have the same symptoms as you then?"

"We never discussed it, and…we've never really wanted to before… So I don't know, but I _think_ so…"

"And your sensitive spine? And hands?"

"Never talked about it… Guess we should have…"

"Was the protectiveness you felt for her the same as what you're feeling for Fixit now?" I nod.

Hot Spot stands with a sigh. "I'll need to go talk with Aid about what we've learned. If she still needs advice…"

"I'm good, but thanks…" I turn to Silverbolt. "And thanks for helping me, Silver."

"You're welcome, Mariposa…"


	23. Nightfall

**I only own my OC's!**

* * *

 **Nightfall**

 **Aerialbot Quarters, Third POV**

Silverbolt steps into his room, trying to be silent. They'd actually given him the time to talk with Hot Spot, which usually doesn't happen, so he's hoping he won't be greeted by a full-out fight. When he steps inside, he finds Skydive reading, Air Raid and Slingshot arguing about something completely random, and Fireflight looking over a few new rocks.

Flight pops his head up moments after the door shuts. "Hey, Silver!"

"You're back!"

"How's Mari?"

Silver blinks. "You guys stayed quiet, because _Mari_ needed to talk to me?"

Skydive shakes his head. "We could tell you were dealing with something important…"

"I was dealing with something important when I first got to talk with Hot Spot, and you guys interrupted us _then_." Silverbolt shakes his head. "Guys, they're going to be dealing with a lot, so I don't want you picking any fights with Blades—or any of them—for the next several weeks, all right?"

"Got it."

"All right…"

"Good. Spot's talking with Aid about something we may have discovered about their little sister."

"What's wrong with Mari?"

"She's fine, Dive. Just worried about her minicon." Silver sighs heavily. "Except we've learned a few things about her past, and now we're suspecting that her human body is a disguise… You know, that she was originally one of us, and was put here to be safe from the Decepticons…"

Skydive puts his book down, catching the slight excitement through their bond. "Which would mean she never really was human…"

Air Raid and Slingshot immediately turn from their argument, curious as well. "And?"

"And what?"

"What's got you so excited?"

"We still have to observe the two together, and we can't do that for a month at the very least… But if Spot and I are right… The ten of us aren't going to stay the only Autobot combiners."

"But she's part of Defensor!"

"She is, but that doesn't mean she can't have her own siblings besides them… She was added on, Slings. She's not part of the original Defensor, and obviously they didn't know where she'd come from before now, so…"

"This must have come as a total surprise to all of them…"

"I'm sure it was, Dive…because it came as one to me for sure. I can only imagine what they're thinking right now…"

* * *

 **med-Bay, closing**

"Aid?"

"What's wrong, Spot?" He sighs. "Ratchet's in his office, if you're looking for him."

Spot shakes his head. "Silver and I were talking with Mari earlier…"

"I know. Did she get the advice she was needing?"

"Sort of…" Spot sighs. "And…Silver's suspicious."

Aid pauses in his work and turns to his brother quickly. "Of Mari? Why?"

"She was acting like she usually does—you know, like she's a good leader but doesn't realize it herself—but Silver… He started interrogating her about her human family and friends, and how she'd lived before she got here… Aid… She's got to be gestalt."

"Of course she is! She's our sister!"

"Aid… If we're right… She was gestalt _before_ she came to us."

"But…she… She never said anything to us…"

"She probably didn't _know_ _about it_ herself. Needed a lot of blankets…cuddled a wall or a stuffed sleeping bag when she felt alone…kept her room cluttered…"

"Climbed in bed with her parents…"

"She mentioned that she felt like she had to protect an underage friend—the same way she feels about Fixit… The same way Silver feels about his brothers… The same way I feel…about you…and the rest of our family… That she misses her badly because of their separation… She even said they had a twin connection…"

"Was that after Silver started grilling her?"

Spot nods. "She told us about a fight they had a few years ago, and how they overcame it… Aid, they were _both sick_ because of _Mari's stress_."

"Oh, Primus… What if she goes through that again because they're apart now?" Hot Spot shrugs. "Ratchet!"

"Aid, please. I've had a helm-ache all after—" Ratchet freezes in his tracks when he sees Aid's worried look, and Hot Spot all but bouncing in place. "What is going on in here?"

"Mari's gestalt."

"She is—"

" _Before_ she got to us."

Ratchet's eyes widen in shock. "What?"

"Really. She is." Hot Spot practically beams. "Silver was suspicious, after he found out she'd planned our mission this morning. He kept grilling her, and a gestalt-level connection with her best friend came out. She's scared we'll turn her away because of this… We won't, of course. It's just means another sister for us…"

Aid nods. "But the girl's still underage, and… There's no way we can get her out here for more than a visit until she's old enough to leave her family…and that'll be over a year at the very earliest…"

"She had a severe reaction to the stress of being separated back when she was eighteen… Nausea and headaches…made her asthma worse…"

"You are worried about her."

Hot Spot nods, starting to tear up. "I don't want to see her go through that, Ratchet. She already barely eats anything… And if she's doing that _because_ of this…I-I _need_ to _know_ , Ratchet… _I need to know_ if our baby sister's sick because she's been separated from her…well, her _sister_. We can be _almost_ everything she needs, but…we can't be this girl… We can't be her _other half_ …"

* * *

 **Normal POV**

~ _Don't cry for me, Spot. I'll be okay…_ ~

~ _ **MARI! How's Fixit?**_ ~

~ _I managed to get some energon into him, now we can only hope it will stay down…_ ~

~ _He'll be okay, Mari._ ~

~ _And Spot?_ ~

~ _Excited about learning that you may be half of combiner twins… Scared that you're not eating much because of your stress reaction… Upset that he won't be able to get her here for good until next summer…_ ~

~ _I'm kind of scared about the first, because I've had problems with the whole "keep them safe/answer the call" thing before…I almost lost her because of that, Aid… And I have no problem with the length of time before the third can happen, as long as I'll get to talk with her. Spot…_ ~

~ _ **Have you been eating less than you should be because of stress?**_ ~

~ _Yes and no. Yes, I've been a little queasy since I got completely off the Lyrica, so I haven't been eating as much as I probably should, but I'm making sure I get my 'gon, so don't worry. No, I don't think it's_ just _because of Claire. I've been going through a lot, with Ratchet's revival, becoming a Protectobot, meeting Optimus and the Aerials, and finding Fixit… And I'm still dealing with the stress of having to leave home the way I did… So it's not just that I'm away from her, okay? And I'll be fine. I'm strong enough to get through this… I've done it before, after all…_ ~

~ _ **We need to get you on the phone with her after supper, then… I'd rather do it before, but…but I think Blades' has ours ready and waiting in there, so…**_ ~

~ _Yeah, and he's already at the table with Streets and Groove, so… I came to the Med-bay earlier for some medical grade for Fix, so he's already done, and sitting in his new chair with one of the blankets Groove picked up, watching an episode of_ _Battle Bots_ _I found on TV._ ~

~ _ **Aid and I'll be in soon, so just hang in there… It'll be all right.**_ ~

~ _I'll bring some more medical grade in when I come in, but we only have so much, and we'll need it just in case of emergencies, so we'll have to see if his tanks can tolerate low grade tomorrow, but for now…_ ~

~ _Thanks, Aid…_ ~

* * *

The four of us look up as Spot and Aid step in the back door. "Hey, guys…"

"Hey…" Spot turns to glance at the place we put Fixit's chair, even though we can't see it over the bot-sized blue couch. "How's he doing?"

"He's all right so far. I think he might be trying to recharge again, so…"

"Good. He needs his rest."

"Blades has been quite a big help since he woke up. Fix purged a little, but he said it wasn't too bad this time…"

"He…he probably had it a lot worse than this on the ship." Aid sighs. "I'm sure a ship like that only served medium grade, and he needs at least low grade while he's carrying, if not medical grade."

"Medium or high grade…"

The five of us look toward the floor for a moment before Spot leans down to boost Fixit up into some kind of booster the others must have had someone make while I was talking with Spot and Silver. "Want anything?"

"D-do you have any g-gummies?"

"Gummies?"

"Ratchet had recipes for energon-and-metal-based candies and cookies. I took over making them after we lost him. We keep some in the med-bay, but most we stored in the pantry for when someone wanted them." Spot stands before Aid has the chance, pulls down a large container filled with blue shaped treats, and sets it in front of me. I pull out one shaped like a butterfly before giving Aid a confused look. "I bought some new pans the day after you got here, so you wouldn't just find unappealing, off-cut cubes…"

"Why he can make a perfect cut in the med-bay, but can't in the kitchen, is beside the point…"

" _Blades_ …"

"That was rude, Bro. Really, really rude." I take a few more before setting the handful in front of Fixit before giving him a smile. "Eat up, Little One." I take one for myself before putting the lid on the container. I really want to try these…

"Thanks…"

Hot Spot puts the container back and returns to his seat. "Now, then. I think we need to discuss something."

Groove's head pops up from where he was leaning on the table. "Spot, what's—"

Streetwise stares at Spot in surprise. "What do you mean—"

Blades holds his hands up placatingly. "I didn't do anything!"

Hot Spot chuckles. "Guys, calm down. It's nothing bad, just…a little surprising."

Blades relaxes and lays his hands back on the table. "All right. Shoot."

"Mari came to Silver and I about something today… She's kind of nervous about hovering over Fixit too much…"

"I don't want to be a burden…"

I smile across the table at the minicon. "Fix, you're fine. If anything, I'm worried _I'll_ be the problem with _you_ , because I'm scared I'll hover over you and make you feel like I'm babying you… Because I want to protect you…"

"Oh…"

"Anyway…something came up while we were talking." Spot shifts slightly. "And Silver started questioning her… We think she might be part of a combiner herself."

"But she's—"

"Her own, Blades."

"So we took someone else's sister?"

"Not exactly…" Hot Spot glances over to me.

"Guys… I was in the dark about this, okay? I didn't know…that needing heavy blankets was more than just an Autism thing…that…that needing clutter to feel secure, or cuddling with walls or stuffed sleeping bags to sleep…was a sign of being gestalt… I didn't realize that being able to accidently match my best friend constantly was a sign of a gestalt connection… or that…when she told me she'd been queasy while I was nauseated from stress…that it was us having the same symptoms…or that our ability to all but read each other's minds…could be…a gestalt connection…"

"So there's another…femme?"

"Yes, her friend—and maybe sibling—is a femme, Groove. I'm hoping she'll be able to visit us over her spring break. Silver wants to observe them together, so we can see just how alike they really are. Until then…" Hot Spot sighs and steps over to the sink with his cube. It's still at least a quarter of the way full, but I think I'm the only one who noticed… "Mari's got to call and see if she can talk with her, and I want someone to keep an optic on her, and let me know how she reacts."

"I'll do it."

"Thanks, Street." Hot Spot sighs. "I think I'm going to put one of Mari's movies in…if any of you want to watch." He turns to me. "Mari… Which one was—"

"Chicago?" He nods. "Dark of the Moon."

* * *

I look up the number on my phone before dialing using the house phone. I fiddle with the phone cord—they'd installed an old-fashioned corded phone just for me to use in human form—while I wait for someone to pick up. " _Hello?_ "

"H-Hi, Mr. Wilson. It's Sheyenne. Could I talk with Claire, please?"

" _Hold on…_ " I hear him call for her, then smile as she takes the phone. " _Hello?_ "

"Hey, Claire…"

" _Where are you? Your Dad said you'd left home…_ "

"Um…" I rub the back of my neck, even though she can't see me. "I'm in Chicago…"

" _Why?_ "

"Originally, to get away from the abuse I was getting… But then I found something I never could have imagined was real…not even in my wildest dreams…" I smile, my eyes lighting up. "I found the Cybertronians, Claire. Defensor…and Fixit… Ratchet… Optimus…"

" _Really? Were they like you'd imagined?_ "

"Better than I ever could have. I guess all we dreamed in dreams really does come true…"

" _Sounds like it…_ " Her tone brightens, and she sounds like she's smiling. " _I've missed seeing you in church… Are you going anywhere there, or…did you stop going?_ "

"I haven't been able to find a good one, and I've been way busy with the bots, so…"

She steps away from the phone for a moment when she's called, then comes back quickly. " _Mom wants to know how you're doing._ "

"I'm fine—better than fine. I finally have a family that loves me, and they're doing everything to help me." I sigh softly. "How's Dad been doing?"

" _He's been all right, from what I can tell. He's been sitting with the Grahams in church, so…_ "

"He'd been talking about them a lot at home too."

" _Why did you leave, anyway?_ "

"The abuse…and I felt like a burden, Claire. I couldn't burden anyone like that anymore…not with Briar and Aaron forcing Dad to take care of them, and me always drawing the short straw…" I sigh heavily. "Claire… When I got here, I wanted one of the gangs to just put me out of my misery, but…but I found a new future instead…and… I told them about how close we were…before I left Indiana. Well… Clairina…" I'm starting to shake like a leaf, nervous about what she might think, and desperate to be in the same room as she is. "They think we're gestalt."

" _They think we're what?_ "

"They think we're a combiner, like them… Our twin connection…the telepathy-like mental connection we have…the fact that we both thought we were going to puke when we found that mutilated chipmunk a few years ago…"

" _I felt sick after eating back then too…_ "

I can't stop the smirk from forming. "That was my main problem because of the stress then… I wanted to protect you, and your mom wanted you around Faith, and…" I shake my head. "All my energy was going toward fighting for _you_ … I had almost none for day-to-day life…"

" _You were pretty good at acting, then… I never noticed…_ "

"You were chasing after Faith for the worst part of it, Goofball!" I shake my head. "Silver was asking if your back is sensitive…or your hands…"

" _My back is…I don't know about my hands, though…_ "

I pause and think about my bad foot. "If you can tickle your own hands, they're probably sensitive. That's how my foot is…"

" _I can…_ "

"Pacifist, or warrior?"

" _Huh?_ "

"If you were in the middle of a war, and you had to be a warrior, or work behind the scenes as a medic or something…"

" _I'd have to fight, if they're right about us…but…I don't really want to… I'd want to be a medic, though…_ "

"I wouldn't want to either… But I've got promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep…" I look up to Streetwise and cover the mouthpiece. "Did you hear what she said?"

He nods. "She even sounds close to you… Not the same vocal tone or pattern, but that could be because you were raised in different families…" He sighs. "I think we've got our confirmation, and Fixit's trying to get your attention, so…"

I sigh heavily, and uncover the mouthpiece. "I've got to go, Claire. It's movie night… And my new minicon wants me to join them, so…"

" _Goo—_ "

"Hold on. Ask your mom if you can visit over spring break. If you can, call me back."

" _Hold on, let me write down the number… Okay, I got it!_ "

"Good. Spot and Silver want to observe the two of us together…I guess they want an official confirmation…"

" _And…If it's confirmed?_ "

"Then we'd invite you to move in with us after you graduate from high school… Claire, they're really great people, and they can't wait to meet you." I sigh softly. "One more question. What did you wear to school today?"

" _Striped sweater and jeans…_ "

I laugh softly. "We did it again, girl…even this far away…" I sigh heavily and dab at my eyes with my sweater sleeve. I hate goodbyes. "But I do have to go now, so…"

" _Bye…_ "

"Bye…" I hear the click on the other end, and stare at the phone for a minute before returning it to the cradle, then look up to Streetwise sadly.

"You okay, Mari?"

I return to my bot form and shake my head, causing him to reach over and pull me in for a hug. "I miss her, Streets…"

"I know, Mari. It'll be all right…" He leads me over to the couch before letting me sit between Spot and Aid, then settles in the armchair Spot had used the day they decided to choose me.

"How did she react?"

"Claire, or me?"

"Claire. I can tell you didn't handle the end of it well…"

"I don't know… She doesn't show much verbally…" I sigh softly. "But she _was_ sick when I was, her back _is_ sensitive, and she proved her hands were too while we were talking…" I smile up at Spot. "And she'd be like Aid and Groove if we had to fight… Like I am…"

"And you did it again…whatever that means…"

"Blades…" I laugh softly. "We both wore a stripy sweater and jeans today, and we're a state apart!"

The copter laughs with me for a moment before looking down to me. "You used to do that a lot, didn't you?"

"Except for the fight…yes."

"Fight?"

"Four months of heartache as I fought to protect her, and she ran off to hang out with a girl her age—a controlling, cliquey, brat of a girl named Faith. I could love the worst person on the street corner, or in the jail…I could love someone who killed or forced someone…I love those who no one else would care about, like the homeless or addicts…frag it, Guys, I love inanimate objects, just like Aid does! I have a soft spot for the _Con_ gestalts…but… I can't bring myself to love _that bitch_." The other Protectobots tense at my language. "There's no better term for her, guys. She's a bitch—a friend-controlling, friend- _stealing_ _bitch_." I shake my head. "The stress made me sick, my nausea made her sick… It was a fiasco and a half…"

"Mari…no one can take your sister from you. Remember that for me, okay?"

"Okay, Aid…"

"Will she be allowed to come?"

"We don't know yet, Spot…" I turn to the screen at the worst possible moment, and watch the Xanthium get blown to pieces, supposedly with all the Autobots inside. It's all I can do to whisper " _No_ …" I bury my face into Spot's shoulder while clinging to my minicon in desperation.

"You okay?" I shake my head. "Shutdown?" I shake my head again.

Aid lays a hand on my back. "Is that the worst part?"

I shake my head. "Next, Chicago's gonna look like a half-destroyed Praxus—done by the cons of course—then the main battle happens, and…" I stop and simply hug Spot as tight as I can. "And 'Jack gets killed…"

"Wheeljack?" I nod, causing Blades to turn to me. "Who does—"

I turn to the street brawler with a sigh. " _Did_."

Blades growls, his voice dark. " _Who did it_?"

"Soundwave…and Barricade."

Blades clenches his hand into a fist. "I'll kill them."

I turn to him, my hands up in a placating gesture. "They're already _dead_ , Blades! They already _paid_ the _ultimate_ price for their crime! They don't _need_ to pay anymore!"

"Primus…" Aid leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and burying his face in his hands. Since the scene of them sealing the city off just came on, I don't know if it's over the senseless deaths, or about the two Cons who died five years ago. "Will it ever stop?"

"Aid?" I lay a hand on his back. "Hey, it's okay…"

"Will we _ever_ see a planet _not_ consumed by war and death?"

"Oh, Aid…" I turn him toward me and hug him gently. "It's all right. We're all here, and 'Jack'll be back before we know it. We're almost done fixing the others, and I'll be bringing them all back in a few days' time, okay? It's going to be okay…"

* * *

About half an hour later, while we're starting to get things together so we can head up to berth, I glance into Fixit's chair and find the little guy recharging soundly, curled on his side under the new white plush blanket. I crouch and pick him up carefully, leaving the white blanket in the chair. "Spot… What are we going to do about Fixit? He needs a blanket, and we don't have one big enough in our room…"

"Aid got a gestalt-sized blanket from Silverbolt. They had spares on the ship. We got one each, and another for all of us to use. They're not very _soft_ , but they are _very_ warm. Fixit will be fine."

"Thanks, guys…"


	24. Morning

**I only own my OC's!**

* * *

 **Morning**

 **February 20, 2016, Main Base, 7:00 AM**

Hot Spot steps into the rec-room in the base and steps over to where Silverbolt and his brothers are sitting at a table with their energon cubes. It's the first chance he's had to visit since the minicon's arrival, with a heavy snowfall and cold spell causing a lot of emergencies the team had to assist in. Hot Spot pulls a chair over and joins them. "Good morning."

Silver turns to him, setting his cube down as he does. "What's up, Spot?"

Hot Spot smiles. "Silver…I know you still want to get the two together to confirm, but… She called the girl, the night Fixit got here, and…"

The other four Aerials, who had been either reading, arguing amongst themselves, or staring off into space, perk up at the unfinished thought, as Silver simply nods, urging him to continue. " _And_?"

"We've got as much confirmation as we'll get until she's able to visit."

"Really?"

"What happened?"

Spot shrugs. "The girl confirmed she'd had the same symptoms as Mari during that "fight", and that both her back and hands are sensitive. But that's not all we learned."

Fireflight's eyes light up, and he beams up at Hot Spot, looking like he's about to launch himself up at the Protectobot commander. "Well?"

" _Flight_ …" Silver shakes his head before turning back to Spot. "What else did you learn?"

"They still have their "twin" connection, even at this distance. I wouldn't be surprised if the girl's wearing red today, with what Mari's chose in human form."

"That's…impressive."

"They've got to be gestalt, right Silver? We're not alone anymore?"

Hot Spot laughs, shaking his head. "What do I look like?"

I giggle under my breath, trying to stay as quiet as I can. Spot doesn't know I followed him, and I don't want him to. ' _The big blue boy scout, AKA Superman…_ '

Fireflight shrugs. "I meant Superion _and_ Defensor."

"Then you were a little unclear, Bro."

"Actually, he was _a lot_ unclear." I step over to the table in bot form. "But I knew what he meant. Hey, guys!"

"How are you doing?"

I blink at Slingshot. "Fine… Why do you ask?"

" _Your sister._ "

I facepalm. With the last three days—and nights—filled with caring for Fixit through severe morning sickness connected with a high-risk carriage, as well as helping in the med-bay as usual, I'd actually forgotten that call from Tuesday night. "I've been busy lately, Slings. It makes it easier to handle when I stay busy, and… Fix's a godsend, all right."

"Mari…"

"Hot Spot, I'm fine. I'm just too busy worrying about Fixit…" '… _And you…_ ' "…To think about Claire right now. I know she's safe with her family, and I can promise you I'm fine."

"For now… If what Aid when through without his brothers is any sign of what's coming for you…"

Fireflight looks down at his cube. "I don't want to watch another Protectobot suffer… He didn't let us see his pain, but I know what it's like when one of us is missing, and… If I'd lost everyone…"

"That's just First Aid, and…" I sigh and pull a chair over before sitting beside the spacy flier and leaning into him. "And while I may be like him—a lot like him, actually—I'm not as prone to closing myself off when I'm upset. I need those cuddles, Guys."

They give me a look before turning to Hot Spot, who holds up his hands in a placating gesture. "We've already been through this with her. She's got a Sensory Processing Disorder with her Autism, and she needs us when she's overloaded." He sighs. "And while she doesn't tell me things right away, and she tries to be like Aid…" Spot trails off for a second before continuing softer. "She always comes to me after a few hours. Worst one was a week, and considering how we reacted to it when she finally told us, I can't really blame her for hiding what she did."

"But…she hid her connection to that girl."

"Claire." I sigh heavily. "And I didn't "hide" it, okay?" They glare at me. "Silence meant protection back at my old home, okay? I'm still getting used to being safe enough to tell people what's going on with me. Aid and I discussed that the evening before Cemetery Wind attacked here… Before…" I trail off and lean over to Spot. I still feel guilty over hurting that man.

Air Raid stares at me. "What's wrong with her?"

Slingshot, surprisingly, goes against his core personality. "Hot Spot… Is she okay?"

"She's just as emotional as Blades, just without the love of battle, Guys, and… She shot a guy just 10 days ago…and she's still grieving over it, even though the guy didn't die."

I look up to Hot Spot. "H-he didn't? Y-you're sure?"

Spot pulls me into his arms with a smile. "Aid had one of the paramedics he works with ask at the hospitals, and he had his wound treated, and was released that same night. Through-and-through, clean shot. Should be almost healed by now."

"Good…"

"And she doesn't block the bond like Aid used to—and he still does that when things get really bad, but not as often since we got back to him… She's just used to keeping things to herself…and we're giving her time to work through it."

"There's only one person I've told everything to so far…and that's Claire."

"Everything?"

"The abuse, the pain I had through our fight— _during_ the fight, but we still talk about it from time to time—things I enjoy, things she enjoys, our shared loves…" I shrug. "Everything." I turn to Spot worriedly. "Why haven't you eaten yet?"

"He hasn't had his energon yet today?"

I shake my head. "He came right out here…after we got up…"

"I'm fine, Mari. I just wanted to talk to Silver first, in case another call came in for us. I'll be in for my cube in a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay…" I hug him before starting toward the exit. "I'll be in the med-bay with Aid and Fix… Since we're getting ready for the revivals and all… But you'd better get a cube before noon, Buster."

* * *

 **Third POV**

The six watch her leave before turning to each other in shock, then back to Hot Spot curiously. "Does she always do that?"

Hot Spot nods, smiling over his sister's behaviors. "She's just worried about me, Guys… I wouldn't be surprised if she'd done that with Claire in the past… Point is…Mari, Aid, and Blades can be overpowering when they're worried—especially Mari and Blades, because Aid at least won't hover _too_ badly—and I've been kind of nauseous lately…"

"Spot…"

"I'm trying to keep it out of the bond, but… Mari's just as hyper-aware as Streetwise some days, and… She's been _watching me like a hawk_ since Tuesday."

"Why?"

Hot Spot shrugs. "I wasn't able to finish my evening cube, and I think she noticed…even while she was hovering over Fixit."

Silver sighs and turns to the Protectobot. "Spot… If you're getting sick…"

"I'll go to Ratchet if it gets worse, okay? I promise." He sighs before standing. "But I've got to get back. I'm supposed to keep an optic on Fix if he can't handle his med-bay duties, and…he's been struggling lately."

Silver turns to Hot Spot with a mildly worried look. "How are they doing so far… With the bond, I mean?"

Spot smiles. "You'd be surprised. Aid said this whole spend-time-with-them/docking method takes a long time, but they're already so close, Silver… It's as if she'd carried him herself… And… He's acting better—stronger—and Aid said his spark, and the sparklet's, are already getting stronger, but…it's making him a lot sicker, too, which means we've been taking care of him 'round the clock, along with our busy week, call-wise." He sighs and turns toward the exit. "I'd better get up to the house before the others need me…"

"Make sure you get some energon, Spot…"

"I will, Silver."

* * *

 **Med-Bay**

I turn from where I'm helping Fixit get settled again—he's been purging off and on all morning, and trying to recharge in between, but with both berths and every empty space filled with an off-line-but-repaired frame, we haven't had the room for him to sleep, which means he's been sitting in the corner closest to the heater with a med-bay blanket over him.

"Spot's back inside, if you want me to take Fixit to him…"

I shake my head. "I've got it, Aid…" I sigh heavily. "If Ratch gets out of the bathroom before I'm back, let him know where I went." I bend down and pick up the minicon, blanket and all, before starting for the door.

"Where are we going?"

"Inside. You'll actually be able to lay down in there."

"But… I wanted to be with you…"

"I know, Bitty, but you're sick right now, and you need to get some rest. You can come out in a couple hours, if you're feeling better, okay?"

"Okay…"

I nod, and open the back door. Hot Spot's at the table with a cube, but the color's off…it doesn't look like any of the energon we've got inside. "Spot?"

"Hey, Mari."

He moves to stand, but I shake my head. "I'll just put this little guy in his chair and head back out. We're doing revivals today, so…"

"What time?"

I raise an eyebrow ridge. "Huh?"

"What time are you getting started? You'll need us, won't you?"

"Oh… Yes, actually." I shrug. "We were going to get started right away, but Ratchet's purging right now, so I don't know…"

"Let us know when you're ready. Street and Groove should be back from patrol soon, and I'll need to show the Aerials around Chicago while we've got the time, so…if you could start around…ten?"

"I'll let Aid and Ratch know…" I sigh softly. "Will I need to take Fix back out with us?"

"Street and Groove should be back in time to take over… Blades is doing his patrol with Slingshot and Air Raid while I show the others around…"

I sigh softly and set Fixit in his chair before covering him with the white plush blanket, even though he's still wrapped in the med-bay one. "Will Streets be okay…watching him…or will Groove have to?"

"Mari…" Hot Spot abandons the cube and steps over before wrapping his arms around me. "We don't have to do anything, Mari. We're your family…we _want_ to help you out."

"I know…it's just…my responsibility… But I'm so busy anymore…that…"

"We're aware of that, Mari, and it doesn't bother us to help out with Fixit." Hot Spot sighs. "And I don't know if Street would be able to handle it, especially with how sick Fix is today, and…"

"Spot, are you sick too?" He shakes his head. "You look a little paler than usual…and you haven't really been eating…" My eyes widen in surprise. "Is this from me?"

He starts to shake his head before suddenly glaring at me. " _Mari_ …"

"I'm handling it, okay? _I'm okay_. I just…I get queasy when people purge…and Ratch and Fix are both sick…and I'm stressed too, which means I've got a little nausea myself, to begin with… I'm worried about you, Spot… You haven't eaten that much since Tuesday morning, and…"

"And you're worried. I understand." He lays a hand on my shoulder. "I'm a little nauseous—"

" _Nauseated_."

He rolls his eyes. "Nauseated, but it's not that bad right now, and I already promised Silver I'd see Ratchet if it got worse." He huffs. "Would you stop that?"

"Stop what?" He gives me a look, causing me to smirk. "All right, I'll stop being a vocabulary Nazi." I laugh. "Those two are interchangeable in a gestalt, anyway." He raises an eyebrow ridge. "Nauseous means you make other people sick to their stomachs, nauseated means you personally feel sick to your stomach."

He nods. "I get it. I haven't made anyone else sick yet, so it's nauseated."

"Yep." I sigh softly. "You were saying?"

"I decided I'd mix half a cube of low grade with my usual energon today, to see if it would help, and I've been feeling a little better, but…not by much, so…"

"It didn't work, and you need to see Ratchet." He nods. "I'll stay with Fixit until Street and Groove get home, then I'm leaving with the Aerials, and Blades should already be in the air with Slingshot and Air Raid. Hopefully, we'll be back by ten. We're going in V-modes, so it shouldn't take us too long."

"I'll be waiting…"

"All right…" He turns to the couch before glancing back to me. "I'll be fine, Mari. I'll see Ratchet tomorrow, okay?"

I turn to him with my hand on the doorknob. "Why tomorrow?"

"Because we'll be working on revivals all day, and you said Ratchet wasn't feeling well today, so I don't want to bother him."

"All right, but…you really need to go to him if you're feeling sick, Spot… I don't want you to suffer…"

"I'm fine, Mari. Trust me."

"I'll try…" I smile up at him. "But you still need to see Ratch…"

"I will, okay?" Hot Spot steps over and lays a hand on my shoulder. "I'll see him as soon as I can tomorrow."

"And if we're busy all day on calls?"

"Then I'll see him the next day. I promise, Mari. I'll get to Ratchet as soon as I can after everyone's revived." I nod. "Now, you need to get back to Ratchet, I'll—" We both turn toward the front door as it opens.

"Hey, Spot!"

"Hot Spot, what's going on?"

"I was just talking with Mari about something." He turns to me. "I'll be out with the Aerials for two hours, then I'll be back, and we can do those revivals."

"We're going in with her again?"

Hot Spot nods from the front door. "Yeah. She passed out the last time, I've got to make sure she doesn't today."

"And she wants the rest of us there again?"

"I'd like to have you all, but you don't have to if you have something else to do…"

"Mari…"

"I know, you're here for me, and I'm not a pest. I just don't want to pull you guys from your duties…"

"You're not, Mari. We'll be there."

Groove lays a hand on my shoulder. "And I'll make sure we've got some energon for you, just in case you need it. Hopefully, if we have it on hand, you won't pass out again."

"Hopefully." I hug the two before stepping back. "I've got to get back to the med-bay before Ratch comes looking for me. Streets, if you can't handle helping Fixit today, let Groove. He's pretty sick today, and I don't want you getting sick because I can't take care of my minicon and revive at the same time."

"Our minicon, and I'll be fine, Mari." Streetwise hugs me. "But thanks for worrying about me."

"We've got this, Mari. Go on now."

"Thanks, Groove."


	25. Aid's Story

**I only own my OC's!**

* * *

 **Aid's Story**

 **8:00 AM**

I step into the med-bay, still in bot form. "What took you so long?"

"Hey, Ratch. Feeling better?"

"A bit…" He shakes his head and steps around Mirage's—AKA Dino's—frame with a huff. "I will feel a _lot_ better once I can walk around my med-bay without stumbling over someone's frame."

Aid shakes his head. "We need to add on, now that we've got three medics."

Ratchet nods. "That would be nice, especially since Aid's about to test out, but I do not think I want to work in a construction zone while I am sparked."

I shrug. "So we'll take down the wall as a last step." I turn to Aid in confusion. "Test out?"

"He thinks I'm trained enough to formally end my training, which means I'd get to handle patients without him watching—"

"If we were on Cybertron, he might have been sent to run his own hospital, especially since he was CMO until you revived me." Ratchet shrugs. "I would like to be able to give him his own office space, but we have so little room…"

I smile. "Aid?"

"Yeah?"

"Once we've got everyone back, we've got to come up with a plan to extend the med-bay."

"And have to work around Ratchet while he's carrying? He'd hate that."

"Aid, we've got two sparklings on the way so far, and this lull in the war is only going to create _more_. I can only hope I don't spark up anyone today, just from reviving them. I don't know how _not_ to use it at full strength, so we may very well have some problems."

~ _If you get Wheeljack sparked up, he'll probably try to split it and make another new gestalt!_ ~

~ _I can only imagine…_ ~ I shake my head. ~ _Hopefully three will be enough for him…_ ~ I sigh softly through the bond. ~ _Guys, don't tell 'Jack I might be 'stalt until we've confirmed, and definitely make sure Flight knows that, okay?_ ~

~ _I will._ ~ Aid sighs. ~ _You know, all five of us are Carrier mechs, right? I mean, not all of us have carried before, but we_ are _all able to carry._ ~

~ _I suspected that, after you started to explain carrying in gestalts…_ ~

~ _Mari…I've been through all that first-hand._ ~

~ _Really? Was it Spot, or…_ ~

~I'm _the one who carried before—I was having twins—but we'd had to…_ OH _…_ ~

~ _Aid? What… Aid!_ ~ I snap my fingers in Aid's face. "Ratchet!"

"What's wrong?"

I snap my fingers in Aid's face again. "I don't know. We were talking about carrying through the bond, and he just—" I snap again. "Froze up."

"Nothing in the bond?"

I shake my head. "I've got nothing, and I don't think they blocked me out, so…" I move to snap again.

Aid snatches my hand in the air. "I'm fine, Ratchet. I need to do an energon test on Mari, _now_."

" _Why_?"

"Please don't…"

"You're going to be a medic, Mari. You'll have to get used to needles." Ratchet steps over to me with the syringe. "Aid, why do you need me to do an energon test on Mari?"

"Remember when we'd learned I was carrying back on Cybertron?" Ratchet nods. "Well, do you remember what we'd been forced to do because of the war?" His eyes widen. " _That's_ why I want an energon test."

"Aid… I sincerely doubt that she's…even with what you've learned…"

"I have to know, Ratchet, and Mari won't start the revivals until Spot gets back with the Aerials, so…"

"She's got a _Praxian_ _frame_!"

Aid all but throws his hands in the air. " _And she looks just like me_!"

"If that ever meant anything, then Streetwise would be Prowl's son!"

"Well _he's not_! _But_ _she_ _might be_!"

I blink as my eyes flash back and forth between the sudden–and still continuing—argument. First Aid—pacifistic, sweet, quiet, gentle-sparked, compassionate _First Aid_ —is _arguing_ with Ratchet—and _he_ started it! ~ _Spot, I think we broke Aid!_ ~

* * *

 **Third POV**

Hot Spot, Silverbolt, Skydive, and Fireflight are walking along the Chicago river, when Spot stops suddenly. Silver stops before he reaches Spot, but the other two walked into each other's back—Dive into Silver, and Flight into Dive. "Spot, what just happened?"

"Mari thinks she and Ratch broke First Aid."

"What?"

Spot nods, laughing. "She literally just said that she thinks they broke Aid." Spot sighs softly and shakes his head. ~ _ **You think you**_ **what** _ **?**_ ~

~ _Aid just fraggin' blew his top at Ratchet! Seriously, he's in here yelling at Ratchet when I've never heard him speak louder than…well, than he usually does!_ ~

Spot stops laughing, worrying the Aerials. "What?"

Spot shakes his head. "Something's not right."

Fireflight turns to Spot with a worried look. "Spot?"

" _First Aid_ just…just _blew up_ at _Ratchet_ , Silver."

"He _what_!?"

"Hold on, I need to see what's going on."

* * *

 **Normal POV**

~ _ **First Aid, what's going on?**_ ~

~ _Ratchet's fighting me on doing an energon test._ ~

~ **Who** _ **needs an energon test, and**_ **why** _ **is it needed?**_ ~

~ _Mari, and so I can check her CNA against mine._ ~

~ _ **Aid…**_ ~

~ _I haven't stopped searching for her…for_ them _…since we transferred the sparks…_ ~

* * *

 **With Aerials, Third POV**

"He wants an energon test…on Mari…because of the twins we'd had to give up…around 25 earth-years ago…"

Fireflight turns to Spot with wide optics. "How old is Mari?"

"24…"

Fireflight's optics light up at the idea. "Spot, they _have_ to do the test…"

Silverbolt nods. "It would explain a lot of what we'd learned, Hot Spot."

~ _WHAT!? Whole story, now!_ ~

"You—hold on…" He sighs and shakes his head. " _Seriously_ …"

"What's wrong?"

Hot Spot huffs. "I used to think _none of this_ could happen with us…"

"Hot Spot…"

* * *

 **Normal POV**

~ _ **NO.**_ **Not. Yet** _ **. Tonight, after the two of you are off work. We don't need Aid losing it while he's trying to work.**_ ~

~ **It's understandably not an easy story for him to tell, Mari. Just…trust us on this one, okay?** ~

* * *

 **With Aerials, Third POV**

He sighs in relief. "Blades and Groove handled it." He turns back to Silverbolt. "Obviously we're still settling in with Mari… We've had a lot of this lately…" Silverbolt gives him a look. "Hey, it's not _her_ fault, we're just not completely used to her presence yet. We're still just getting used to each other, and obviously we've had a lot of stress lately…"

* * *

 **Normal POV**

~ _M'kay… But I really hate being in the dark like this…_ ~

~I know, Mari. We all do…but Aid'll tell you when he's able to. You just have to be patient.~

~ _ **And…do the energon test…for us?**_ ~

~ _M'kay…_ ~ I look up to Ratchet and hold my arm out. "Go ahead."

"What changed your mind?"

I glance down before sighing. "Brothers…"

"All right. It'll only take a minute, okay?" I nod, and wince as the needle goes into a line. It only takes a few seconds before he's pulling it out again, labeling it, and picking up another before sticking Aid with it. "All right, I've got to run these. I'll be back in an hour."

"Aid…" I sigh softly and lay a hand on his arm, sighing when I see the spark-broken look in his eyes. "Hey… It's okay…"

He shakes his head. "I don't know what I'll do if this comes back negative…"

"Aid…" I sigh softly and hug him closely. "It's all right… Even if I'm just the new addition, I'll still be right here… I won't leave you, okay?"

He nods and leans back. "Where's Spot?"

"Out with the Aerials. Blades is too."

"They're together?"

I shake my head. That was _way_ too vague. "No. Blades is on patrol with Raid and Slings, the other three Aerials are with Spot. Groove and Streets are inside with Fixit." I sigh and put an arm around Aid before leading him to the door. "Come on. Let's go stay with them. Ratch'll come get us when he's done."

* * *

 **inside**

"Mari? What's going on?"

"Aid's upset, so we're taking a break. There's nowhere to sit out there, and we're not reviving anyone until Spot and Blades get back, so…" I step back and let the two hug their younger brother.

"Aid?"

"Are you okay?"

Aid sits on the chair before leaning on his knees. "I will be…" He sighs heavily. "I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but… I want this to be it… I want her to be— _them_ to be—my sparklings… I don't want to search anymore…" He breaks then, and starts to cry, his face buried in his hands. "I want my babies…"

"Even if we were still on Cybertron, they wouldn't be babies anymore…"

"I know… But they'd still be sparklings by our standards…"

~ _ **Aid? You okay?**_ ~

~ _I'll be all right, Spot…_ ~

~ _ **Are you**_ **okay** _ **?**_ ~

I take one look at Aid—he's calmed down for now, but he's got unshed tears in his eyes, tear-streaks on his face, and he looks like he lost his best friend AND his dog died within minutes of each other. ~ _He's_ not _okay, Spot, but he's still alert._ ~

~ _ **Good. We're on our way back now, and Blades is almost done with patrol. Can you handle things until I get there?**_ ~

~ _I'll do my best._ ~ I turn to Aid with a soft sigh. "Anything I can get you?"

"I'll go warm up some energon for him."

"C-can I have some too?"

Streetwise smiles down at my minicon. "Of course."

"Thanks, Streets." I turn back to Aid before sitting beside him on the couch and putting an arm around him.

* * *

 **With Aerials, Third POV**

"I've asked Mari to handle things until I get home. I know she can do it."

Silverbolt nods. "All right, but we still need to hurry back. Aid needs you."

"I know…"

* * *

 **Normal POV**

" _Mari, how did this come up?_ "

I reach up to my comm in surprise. "Hey, Silver. Um… We were talking about the revivals we're doing in around an hour, maybe earlier, and laughing about the chance of Wheeljack trying to make another gestalt out of his if he sparks—by the way, we don't want him to know anything about Claire and I until we know for sure—then we went on to the fact that the five of them are carriers…"

" _Flight and I are too…_ "

"Cool. And he mentioned he'd carried before… Then he just… Froze up, and then he started arguing with Ratchet…"

" _I got it now. Thanks._ "

"Don't mention it…" I turn back to Aid, who is now holding a steaming cube of energon, and Streetwise is taking another, smaller cube to Fixit. "Want me to get Jaspie?"

Aid shakes his head and gestures with the cube. "Not until I finish this. She'd hurt herself on it if I got her now." He sighs softly. "Spot's back…"

I move over by Fixit so I won't get trampled when Hot Spot comes in. A moment later, Spot rushes inside, followed by the three Aerials, who approach at a normal pace. "Aid!" He sits on the coffee table in front of him before laying a hand on Aid's shoulder. "Hey. It's all right, Aid. I'm here now." He holds out his arms as if asking for a hug.

Aid hands off the steaming cube before falling into Spot's arms in tears. "I want them back, Spot… I just want them back…"

"I know, Aid…I know…"

I look down to find the minicon staring up at me. "What just happened?"

"Long story, and I only have the last…half hour of it, so…"

Blades steps in with the other two Aerials and sighs heavily. "She's got a right to know, after all this…" He turns to me. "Ratch have the results ready yet?"

I shake my head. "Still have half an hour before he's supposed to…"

Aid sighs. "That means I have the time to tell her what's going on."

"Aid…"

"No. I want to. She _deserves_ to know." Aid sighs before taking the re-offered cube of steaming energon. "We were all on the _Artemis_ —we'd had to leave the planet by that point—when I found out I was carrying twin sparks—right before they were supposed to transfer. I had literally _Earth_ _days_ to figure out what to do, because a ship was—is—no place to raise a sparkling, and I couldn't do anything after the transfer… Streetwise found this planet, and selected two human women to hide them in—like a closed adoption, just _before_ the baby's born, rather than after. The sparks would remain in stasis until the human it was planted in conceived a child of the proper gender, at which point the spark would become part of the infant from conception. We didn't know if the sparklets were split-spark or not, from how far into the gestation I already was, so we took the risk of separating them, just in case the Cons found one…so they wouldn't be able to find the other… Ratchet transferred them into containment fields…Spot and Blades took one to Indiana, and the other went to Texas with Groove and Streetwise… While Ratchet watched me for signs of complications…from the early but necessary separation—especially with my spark damage from when our bonds broke…"

My eyes widen in shock. "Guys… Claire's family lived in Texas around that time…"

"So…now do you see why I made Ratchet do the energon test earlier?" I nod. "One child went to Indiana…and one to Texas. We weren't able to watch them as we'd wanted to, so I was rightfully scared when the war came to this planet back in '07, and could only pray that the two were okay…"

"I was fourteen…and Claire was seven… We hadn't even met yet…but I'd seen her in a dream when I was seven, so…"

"Then Prime died in '09…"

"Sixteen and nine…still hadn't really met…"

Aid smiles slightly at my comment before sighing. "Then Chicago, in 2011…which you know about…"

I nod. "Eighteen and eleven… we were just months shy of that fight…"

"Then Ratchet died in 2014, and I _had_ to come down to take over his role…"

"Twenty-one and fourteen… our birthdays are both in April…"

"Then we met you…just two weeks ago…"

"Twenty-three…she's sixteen…"

"You become a Protectobot after I find that you've got a spark, and you're _human_. It's like you're the answer to my prayers, but I need the proof to be certain, and…and then we learned about your friend…and the gestalt-connection the two of you have…" Aid gives me a watery smile. "And I'm almost positive you're my sparkling, but we need the proof to be certain, and…"

"Ratch seems to be taking his sweet time with that proof…"

Hot Spot crosses his arms. " _Blades_ …"

" _Spot_ …" Blades crosses his arms. "I'm just worried about Aid."

I speak up before Spot has the chance to. "I know, but that's no reason to be rude. It hasn't even been an hour yet."

"And knowing what you went through, and how you came to us… It hurts, Mari… I never wanted my little ones to know suffering… That's why I sent them away to begin with…"

" _First Aid…_ "

"Ratchet!" Aid jolts off the couch at a speed that impresses Hot Spot, who has to dive back to avoid colliding with him, and taps his comm link. "I'm here, Ratchet. What is it?"

" _Aid… We have a_ double _confirmation._ "


	26. More Revivals

**I only own my OC's!**

* * *

 **More Revivals**

"…Double?"

"Aid?"

"What—"

Aid holds up a finger, temporarily silencing the group of eleven—the Aerials, his brothers, myself, and Fixit. "Ratchet… What do you mean _double_?"

" _Silverbolt is right about the two as well._ "

Aid's finger slips off his comm link, and he sinks back to the couch, tears in his eyes. All four remaining original Protectobots move to him as quickly as they can, hoping to comfort him. Spot's the only one able to find his voice at the time. " _Aid_ …" Aid shakes his head and smiles as a tear rolls down his cheek. Within moments, he's back up and clinging to me tightly. "Aid?"

"What happened, Aid?"

Aid sits back down on the couch, this time with me beside him. "Double confirmation…"

"Double? Aid…"

" _Double_ confirmation, Spot." He grins. "We found them!"  
"So…that means…"

Aid nods. "She's _our sister_ , but she's also _my_ _daughter_."

Streetwise's optics widen in surprise. "And _half_ of a set of _combiner twins_."

"Would that explain why I've noticed my Cybertronian side growing lately?"

"Yep."

Streetwise slumps onto the couch beside Aid. "We separated a combiner…after everything we've gone through…then we did it to our own family…without even knowing…"

"Streets…" I sigh and move to where I'm sitting between him and Aid, and takes Street's hand in both of mine. "I'm a survivor, Streets, and so is Claire…just like…well, my _Carrier_ , I guess… When things got bad, I kept going for others, even when I wanted it to end… When I lost Mam… When my adopted mom was dying… When I got fired from EMS… When I'd get abused…or neglected… When no one understood me… And _especially_ during that fight with Claire… When I was ready to just give up…I _had_ to keep going…for them…because _they needed me_ …"

"That's what I did for Ratchet…Wheeljack…and the Aerials… When I thought I'd lost my brothers…I hung on for them…because they weren't ready to let me go…" He drains the rest of the energon and stands with a sigh. "Speaking of, we've got work to do, Mari."

"Right! The revivals!"

"I can't wait to tell Wheeljack we found your kids!"

"Flight…" Silverbolt shakes his head. "I know you're excited, but let Mari and Aid do that, okay? It's their news."

"Oh…"

I glance down to Fixit. "Groove, could you go grab Fixit's coat?"

"Sure…"

Groove quickly returns, and I get the minicon bundled into it before the seven of us start out to the med-bay.

* * *

"First Aid… I thought—"

I shrug. "We still have to finish the revivals, Ratch."

"He really wants to tell Wheeljack, too…"

"We all do…"

"Which is why he's last."

" _What_?"

I cross my arms at the group. "We'll have more time to talk with him after everything's done, and this way I'll be able to be a part of the conversation too."

"Good point."

"Thanks, Blades." I start with the twins—Sideswipe and Sunstreaker—then move on to Ironhide, followed by Mirage, Jazz, and finally Wheeljack. As I go, Ratchet runs basic medical scans on them, while Groove follows me with an energon cube. "All right. Wheeljack, you stay. Everyone else, shoo."

"What?"

"Shoo." I pause to think. "Protectobots notwithstanding."

"That's better."

"HEY!"

"You can talk with Aid later, Sideswipe. Mari's got things to do."

" _Mari_?"

I hold out a hand. "Mariposa Prime at your service, Sunstreaker." He shakes it before Ratchet chases him out. "Thank you, Ratch." I sigh softly. "Now then…Wheeljack…"

"You're a new-build, aren't you? Earth metal? Is that why your wrist is bandaged?"

I shift down to human form before leaning on Aid's foot. "Not exactly…the wrist is a nerve disorder caused by an old injury…back when I was fourteen…though it started in my foot." I nuzzle into Aid's foot.

"Wheeljack…" Aid sighs. "Remember when I had to send my sparklets off-ship before they transferred?"

"Yeah…" Aid nods down to me. "Oh, Primus! Mari's… _wow_ …" He crouches down to me. "I guess I'm your grand-creator, then…" He looks up to Aid. "Where's her twin?"

I look down. "Still too young to leave her family…"

"The second didn't get a human body until Mari's was seven… She's sixteen at this moment, and still in Indiana."

"So this was the Texas spark, or…"

Aid shakes his head. "Both went into military families. The younger girl is the Texas spark, but the male parent was _active_ military at the time, and they traveled a lot." Aid sighs. "She's the Star Healer."

"I'd assumed, after she said she was a Prime." He turns to me. "So where are we, right now?"

"Just outside Chicago." I smile slightly as tears fill my eyes. "I-I watched you die…"

"Mari…"

"It was in a movie, Wheeljack, but it hurts her…"

"Hot Spot… How would you know that? Unless she told you, but she seems a lot like her Carrier…"

"We…added her to our sibling bond…before we knew who she was…" Hot Spot nods down to Fixit. "She's got a minicon, too, and he's already got a strong symbiote bond. He's only been here since the 16th, and Aid suspects that he'll find his way into the gestalt bond before too much longer."

"He needs the connection, Wheeljack. He's sparked…"

Fixit nods. "Four miscarriages…"

"Oh, Little One…" Wheeljack sighs. "I hope this one works out…"

"It should…with Mari and her brothers…or should I call them uncles?"

"Brothers works fine, Bitty." I run a hand over his head. "How you feeling?"

"Tired…and my tanks are starting to…" He pauses for a moment, and I turn to him worriedly when I hear a gag, and a hard gulp. "…Act up again…" He suddenly claps a hand over his mouth.

"I got 'im." Groove rushes past me and scoops him up on the way toward the med-bay bathroom.

"Thanks, Groove." I wince at the sound of purging from the back room before turning back to Wheeljack, looking slightly wobbly, but strong enough to fight it off. "Morning sickness."

"Are you okay? You look—"

"It's a stress reaction, Wheeljack. She's going through a lot, and she gets nauseous—" I glare up at Spot at the mistake. "Er, nauseated—when she's really stressed out, but she's also squeamish, so she gets nauseated when others are sick, too… Sorry, Mari…"

"You'll catch on."

Blades points down at me. "Vocabulary Nazi…"

I shrug. "I'm strict when it comes to using the right word. Sometimes they get mad over it, but not often."

"And the sister…I assume it's a sister?"

Aid looks upset again. "Split-spark combiner twins, Wheeljack… If it weren't for them being transferred to Indiana, they never would have met…"

Groove sighs heavily. "Then there was the fight a year after…"

"Fight?"

I nod. "Verbal…and more of a fight _for_ than a fight _against_ …but it was still really hard on me…"

"What happened?"

Spot sighs. "A brat of a little girl tried to take her sister away…while Mari thought she could lose her because she was just a friend…and she did her best to keep the brat from taking her, only to lose her for a weekend…they were both nauseated from Mari's stress… Silver suspected she was gestalt from the moment he spoke with her, but that event just proved to him that she was."

Aid nods. "To the five of us too. We've known that for…four days now…just got official confirmation today."

Wheeljack gives me a worried look. "And…she hasn't even seen her sister since she got here?"

I nod. "Two weeks…but it was more than that because we only saw each other in church, and I couldn't go because of PTSD symptoms… Dizziness and headaches from anxiety…"

"Oh, Mari…" Wheeljack runs a finger over my head. "It's all right. We'll get her back for you as soon as we can…" He looks up to Aid with a soft sigh. "This can't be easy on you…"

"It's a lot better now that I have Mari… It was a lot worse before… Before we met her…"

"Aid…" Spot steps over and lays a hand on his back. "It's all right. We've got one back, and we know where the second is… We'll have them together before you know it…"

"I know, Spot…" He shakes his head. "It's kind of sad that they have to grow this fast, and they don't get to have a childhood, though…"

"I doubt they'd want to…being who they're born too. Mari seems to love her work in here…"

"Oh, she does… She almost started a fight with Ratchet when he told her she was too young to learn, and still argues over who teaches her… She wanted me to, after all…"

"What do you think the other femme will be like?"

Aid shrugs. "I'm hoping she won't be like Blades, but I'll be all right if she is."

I shake my head. "She's kind of… _verbally_ violent in her sleep—she talks in her sleep by the way—but she's never been physically so. If she ever got mad she'd punch the ground, rather than hurt anyone living…felt bad for the grass, though…" Aid laughs. "It's alive, Aid. Plants are alive, just like we are." I shrug. "Anyway, she doesn't want to fight either, but she said she would if we have to. We both hate the idea of it, though…"

"I can imagine. Groove hates it, too…and your Carrier, obviously…"

"She wants to train with us, once she's here…"

Aid looks down to me. "She wants to _what_?"

"She wants to train as a medic…"

"Oh…" Aid smiles. "That's great! I'll get to teach the two of you this summer…"

I smile as Groove steps over with Fixit in his arms. "He's still feeling pretty rotten, so I think we'll need to get him back inside…"

"Um…" We turn to find Bluestreak in the doorway. "I hate to interrupt, but Prowl said there's a car chase in progress…and dispatch called…they're asking for Defensor."

"We're on our way." Spot turns to Wheeljack. "Duty calls!"

"Can I tell the team?"

Spot grins. "YES!"

"Aid?"

Aid nods, already all but out the door. "Of course! Go ahead!"

"Ratch?" The medic turns to me. "Watch him for me? We've got a call, and—"

"I've got him. Go!"

* * *

I run inside and shift forms before grabbing my coat, then run back out back to find only Blades left. "Everyone else already took off. Spot's on the comms with dispatch right now."

"And I actually get to go?"

"Yep!" Blades huffs. "They're sending you with me because they want to keep me in the air. They know I wouldn't hurt you, so…"

"Blades…" I shake my head. "Even in Rescue Bots, you hate being air support, but that won't change. That's your _job_ on rescue calls…and you can either hate it, or love it, but you have to accept it either way."

"And if I don't want to?"

"You don't have a choice there, Blades…" I squeeze my eyes closed tightly as we lift off.

"We're off the ground now…"

"I know…just…let me know when we're at altitude…"

"Scared?"

"Of heights… Yes… and there's a window under the console…"

"You can look now."

I flutter my eyes open and look out the window. "We're not that high…"

"I stayed lower for you." He sighs. "But if we go into the city, then I'll have to go higher."

* * *

 **home**

As soon as we're off the call, I head into the med-bay. "How's Fixit?"

"He purged again, a few minutes after you left, but he has been recharging since then."

"Thanks, Ratch…sorry I had to leave him here…"

"Don't be. You had a call. I know emergencies happen, Mari. I _am_ a medic."

"Chief Medical Officer. Either way, thank you." I nod, and take Fixit as gently as I can. "Come on, let's get you inside, Bitty." I sigh heavily. "You look like you really need a nap, too." He nods. "All right, we'll get you tucked in as soon as we can, okay?" He nods again, and we start for the door. "All right, let's get you settled in…you need your rest more than anything…" I step through the door.

"So next time, you take her."

"What's going on in here?"

I step over to the living room, to find Spot around the corner with his arms crossed, while Aid and Blades talking about Primus only knows what. "Guys?"

"Mari, it's all right…"

"B-Blades?"

"I don't hate you, Mari…honest…"

Aid steps over and lays a hand on my shoulder. "Blades was telling me what happened on the call, and how scared you were… He said I'd have to take you next time so he doesn't scare you by accident…because of your fear of heights."

"Blades?"

"Really, Spot. You and Mari just came in at the wrong moment. I know I sounded rude, but…I'm just tired of rescue work right now. I—"

"You want a battle." He nods. "Well, I don't know when we'll have one, so…"

"I'm trying to calm down, but it isn't easy…" Blades steps over before hugging me. "I'm sorry if I upset you…"

"I know, and don't be. I've had my moments too… See if Sunstreaker wants to spar…or Slings…" I step past Spot and into to my office before tucking Fixit into his oak bed in the office and making sure he's comfortable. I check the can beside his bed to make sure it's empty before getting settled at my desk. It's only a moment before he drifts off, and I stand before searching for my brother and apparent uncle. "Spot?"

"What's wrong, Mari?"

"If I sent a list out with you, would you be able to pick some things up for me?"

"Of course…but why?"

"Fix is _really_ sick today, and I was thinking that we should have an extra bed out here for him, just in case he needs it…"

"That's a good idea. Get me the list, and I'll take Optimus with, and we'll get what you'll need."

"Thanks, Spot. Let me know when you get back. I'll be in the office with Fixit." I sigh and look around. "Where is everyone?"

"Aid's out at the med-bay with Ratchet, and the others went out to the rec room with Wheeljack and the new revivals. You can go out there if you want to. Flight's there…"

"I know…" I actually hadn't. "But I need to stay with Fixit right now, and he needs to get some rest."

"Okay… I'll take over for you when I get back, if you want me to…"

"We'll see, Spot…"

"All right." I step back into my office to write the list, adding a baby monitor just in case, then hand the list to Spot. Once he leaves, I peek back at Fixit before heading out to find my Carrier.


	27. Breakdown

**I only own my oc's!**

* * *

 **Breakdown**

 **med-bay**

"Aid?"

"Hey, Mari." He steps over. "What's wrong?"

"I was worried…after the Blades comment earlier…that you'd be mad that I'd had my moments…where I'd lose sight of myself and almost turn into him…"

"I'm not mad, Mari…I might get disappointed if—or _when_ —it happens, but I won't hate you, okay?"

"Okay…" I look at my feet. "Because sometimes…"

"I know. You already told me about Lockdown, Sweetspark. I know how you feel about him, and I won't get mad about fighting in self-defense…"

"But…even if I consider myself a pacifist…If my first reaction to evil is a longing for a weapon…"

"That's probably just a sign of what you dealt with growing up with the abusers, but I want you to come to me or Spot if you feel conflicted, okay? Blades won't give good advice in that area."

"I will…" I sigh softly. "I need to get back to Fixit. He's asleep for now, but I don't know when he'll wake up…"

"Go on. I'll be right here if you need me, okay?"

I nod. "Will I ever know what's right? I mean, going through all this, and…the chance that I might…have to lead…just like Spot…"

"Twins usually don't have a commander that I've seen, but I could be wrong. So far as I know, they work together on most things, but then, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker usually went their own ways in battle, and…"

"Mudflap and Skids were the same way, working together while going their own way…and they shared a vehicle mode…"

"I think your spark may have been first-out, so…if I did carry again…there's a chance, once they were older…"

I know where this thought is going, and I'm not sure I like it yet. "That I'd really be like Spot? Really be a commander?"

"Maybe. We might never know for sure, but if you do…I'd advise talking with him or Silver again. I'm not a commander, and I probably wouldn't give the best advice anyway, considering…"

"I'm already in a position of command, Aid…and I'm not sure I like it to begin with…but to be on level with Spot or Silver…how would I handle _that_!? I don't know what to do anymore! My life's gone so off-track lately, and I'm just… I'm lost, Mom!" I fall apart at that, and finally let myself break down, and start crying in front of Aid and Ratchet.

Aid simply sighs before pulling me close. "It's all right… I know you're scared, but it'll be all right. We'll get your sister back, and we'll all be together again. It's just going to take some time, all right?" I nod and wipe my eyes. "Feel better now?" I nod again. "Okay, then. You need to get inside before Fixit wakes up. I'll be right here."

"Aid?" Ratchet steps over and lays a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?" I pause at the door.  
Aid sighs. "I've got it under control, Ratchet, but thanks anyway…"

"That's not what I meant…" Ratchet sighs. "I wanted to make sure you're okay… Even when they're adult-sized— _especially_ when they're adult-sized—having to watch your sparklings deal with any kind of problem—especially if they're hurt, sick, or even traumatized… That's not easy on any creator."

"It's not the first time she's cried like that on me, Ratchet. She broke down over her past within a week of getting here. She blamed it on a meltdown, but I don't know—"

"It is her condition. If she said meltdown, it was a meltdown." Ratchet sighs. "That was different this time…and I would have to say Hot Spot or Silver may understand it better than I would."

Aid sighs, but nods. ~ _Hot Spot?_ ~

~ _ **Aid? What's wrong? You sound like you're about to cry.**_ ~

~ _I am._ ~ Aid laughs softly over the bond. ~ _But not over anything bad._ ~

~ _ **What happened?**_ ~

~ _She called me Mom…_ ~

~ _ **That's great Aid, but why would that make you want to cry? Sweet or not, you don't usually react like that…**_ ~

~ _Mari came to me over what happened between her and Blades earlier… She was scared I'd be mad at her because her first instinct is to fight, even though she hates it. Then she broke down…started crying over, as she put it, her life falling apart… But to me it seems like she's scared of command…she knows she's there already…but she's not sure she wants it…_ ~

~ _ **You're sure it's not just because she's away from her sister?**_ ~

~ _That's part of it at least…I can tell that much…_ ~

~ _ **But her biggest fear right now is of commanding?**_ ~

~ _Yeah… I think she's scared to lead someone…on your level…_ ~

~ _ **It's probably because of what she went through before. She's got a lot of trauma, Aid, and she just learned that she and her sister are going to have to deal with all that together, even if she wants to keep it to herself when they're together. She's got a good start since they talk about all this all the time, but she's got to figure out what's next, and she's so young…**_ ~

~ _We started out this young too, Spot._ ~

~ _ **It feels like we were older than they are…how old are their sparks now?**_ ~

~ _25 earth-years…that's about…six orns… Wow… I never wanted their first vorn to be spent on a battlefield…_ ~

~ _ **I'm sure Wheeljack didn't want ours to be either…but we were**_ **literally** _ **on the battlefield when we turned one.**_ ~ Hot Spot sighs over the bond. ~ _ **Mari? You okay?**_ ~

I start back into the house, and sit on my office couch in human form before glancing over to Fixit, who is thankfully still recharging. ~ _I'm all right… Scared, but I'll live…_ ~

~ _ **How's Fixit?**_ ~

~ _He's all right._ ~

~ _ **Aid said you'd gone out to see him…**_ ~

~ _Yeah…I heard…_ ~

~ _ **Mari, you're supposed to come to us—and I'm glad you went to Aid—but why didn't you tell me you were scared when we were talking earlier?**_ ~

~ _Because I'm supposed to be a commander…I mean, I'm a prime…but I don't…I don't know if I'm really…really ready for this yet… Claire's…she's like…like Mom, and…and it hurt enough when we had that fight, and I could tell she was going to cry one afternoon—and it was my fault, too—but she never gave me any sign… Her human mom said she was just like that, but…but it still hurt. That's when I started trying to hold my emotions back…because she was so… Inspiring… She seemed so strong, and I hate falling apart in front of people…_ ~

~ _ **Mari… First off, I know how you feel…about Claire holding back…and hiding how she feels…because I've been there with Aid… He didn't even let me know we had been accidentally hurting his hands…until we'd been combined for the disruptor cannon battle… Now, what happened that afternoon?**_ ~

~ _I was bitter…and angry…over the thing with Faith… I wrote her a hurt note, and… And when we were leaving after school… I'd raced to catch up to her—she'd gotten to leave earlier than I had—and…and she told me, in this…this heart-breaking tone…that "If you didn't mean it, why did you say it?", and…and it was all I could do to get home before I lost it myself. I still get upset when I remember those words… those, and the ones she wrote me earlier…_ ~

~ _ **What did she write you?**_ ~

~ _I-I'm n-not…_ ~ I take a shaky breath before starting over. ~ _I'm not leaving you…_ ~ I choke back a sob and reach for my fleece blanket—I'd left it in here earlier—before burying my face into it. ~ _And she never did… B-because… I l-left h-her! I-I left her, Spot! I-I promised I-I wouldn't, b-but I-I left her!_ ~

~ _ **Easy, Mari. It's okay… We're all right here…**_ ~ He sighs heavily. ~ _ **I'm only half-done with the list, but I can have one of the others come stay with you until I get back, if you want?**_ ~

~ _ **I can stay with her… Sling's getting on my nerves anyway.**_ ~

~ _ **It's up to Mari, Blades.**_ ~

~ _M-mama…_ ~

~ _She wants me, Blades._ ~ A soft sigh. ~ _Just hang on, Baby. I have to tell Ratchet where I'm going, all right?_ ~

~ _M'kay…_ ~

~ _ **Just try to calm her down, and don't worry about anything. I'll get home as quickly as I can, and we'll figure this out together, okay?**_ ~

~ _All right. Thanks, Spot._ ~ Aid steps into my office and reaches me in two steps. "Easy… It's okay now… I'm right here…"

"I miss her, Mama!"

"I know, Mari, I know…" I shift up to bot form and pick Fixit up—he's thankfully still recharging—and turn to get one of his blankets. Aid picks the red one up—we keep three in here because of how much time I spend working on my stories—and lays it over Fixit before putting an arm around me. "Come on."

"Where?"

"I'm taking you up to my room, okay?" I nod, and follow him up. Once we're settled on the edge of his obviously barely-used berth, with Fixit tucked in behind us, he turns to me. "Now… I need you to tell me what's wrong, okay?"

"I-I left her. I know, she's got a better family than I ever did, but…but I still just…abandoned her…"

"She'll be all right, and we're working on getting her out here, but it's going to be a little while yet…"

"I know… but I miss her… I hadn't realized how bad I'd miss her—even with the past we've had… And I know I had to get away… but that doesn't mean I should have left without even thinking like that… Primus, Aid! I all but forgot about her when I came out here, and…and I don't know what I was doing!" I turn to him with a heavy sigh. "My plan was to let a gang member _shoot me_ , Aid. I came here _to be murdered_. Finding you…it saved me, but… But now I realize that I wouldn't just have been ending my pain, but I would have caused someone else…to hurt even worse than I had been…and… How do I deal with that _guilt_ —I almost took my sister down with me, and… and I don't know what to think anymore…"

"Coming to us about it was the right thing, Mari. I still have trouble with that sometimes…as you've probably seen…" He sighs heavily. "But I don't know to help with that guilt… I know how it feels, to want to give up for one reason or another…and how, while I didn't, thanks to the Aerials, Ratchet, and Wheeljack, someone else would have gotten closer, or actually ended their life over it. Ratchet's even said he was scared that I would hurt myself after the bonds broke…but I didn't, and…I know not everyone has that strength, but I know that you have a lot of strength." Aid puts an arm around me. "After that, yes, our cases are similar. My brothers and I were separated, and you and your sister are separated, but while I couldn't even sense them until right before they got back, you should still be able to feel her…" I shake my head. "You can't?"

"I can't! I've _never_ been able to feel her!"

"Hear her voice?"

"Sometimes…"

"But not feel her…" I shake my head. "Okay, then. That explains why you didn't officially know the two of you were related."

"We suspected, during that fight, but we didn't know…"

"I know…" Aid sighs. "Now, I know you feel bad about it, but it happened in the past, and there's not really much I can do about that now…" I sigh heavily. "But I can tell you that it wouldn't have been your fault. If your family was grieving because you had been killed, it wouldn't have been your fault…even if you had come here for that…it would have been the fault of the man who actually shot you, and not yours for coming out here…"

"But then I wouldn't have met you guys…and learned who I really am…"

"True…" Aid sighs. "And I would never have found my daughters…but I can't blame you either way. You were hurting…and obviously you still _are_ , if this is any sign… But we're here for you, so you don't have to hurt alone, okay?" I nod. "All right. Spot's almost home, so it's time to head back down, but I'll be right here, okay?"

"Okay…"

I watch numbly as Aid picks Fixit back up, and spread his bed back up before following him downstairs right as Spot gets home. He quickly sets the bags, mattress, box spring, and the box holding the bed frame down before stepping over and pulling me in for a hug. "It's okay, Mari. We're here… Aid?"

"Guilt." Spot raises an eyebrow ridge. "She feels guilty for leaving her sister behind, when she came here…and guilty because her intent was to have the gangs kill her…and she's…she can't even feel her sister…I know how hard that can be for gestalts…"

Spot huffs. "I know how hard that can be on a gestalt _commander_ , Aid."

"Sorry…"

"Aid…" He sighs, and runs a hand over Aid's head. "I'm not mad, okay? I don't blame you for it, but I _do_ know what she's going through…"

"Do you really think she'd be a commander? I've only got the twins…"

"She could be, if her spark really was the first out… Especially if you were to carry again…" Spot looks down at me. "Mari, I know what it's like, to be so young, and to be placed into a leadership position, so if you need someone who understands… I do, and so does Silver. We've both cried over the stress alone before, and we both panic when they're hurt or missing… We _understand_ , okay?"

I nod as Spot leads me over to the couch. "Okay…"

"Now, the only twins you've met started out as split-spark, but they weren't initially combiners, were they?"

"Sideswipe and Sunstreaker aren't… And Flatline did it to Mudflap and Skids, so…"

"So they're used to sharing the burdens. Gestalts usually have a leader, even though it's not necessary in smaller groups—like with combiner twins—they still have one that gives the orders—or they'll make a decision together about whether or not they'll share the burden."

"Like the jet twins in Animated. They fought a lot, but they shared the leadership…"

"Right." Spot smiles. "Larger groups, like Superion or Defensor, or Devastator for sure, need a leader, and it's the one who forms the torso of their combined form, which means myself or Silver—but I think it would be the head with Devastator."

"It's Scrapper."

He tilts his head to the side. "How did you—"

"Research. Devastator's is Scrapper, Menasaur's is Motormaster—"

Aid tenses up on Spot's other side, but Spot simply squeezes his hand gently. "It's okay. He's not getting you again…"

"And Bruticus' is…Onslaught."

"I think you got them all." Spot smiles gently. "But I have to ask you not to mention Motormaster again, okay? Your Carrier had a very bad experience with him when we were two vorns."

I nod. "Sorry, Aid…"

"You're fine, Sweetspark. You didn't know." He sighs. "Go on, Spot."

"Anyway, so while you might not be thrown into a position of leadership in a set of combiner twins, you may still need to take charge from time to time—and I can help if you need it at any time, since I've been exactly where you are now myself—well, not _exactly_ , but we've both—and Silver too—been thrown into a role we were too young to understand at the time, but we've both come through it shockingly well for what it's worth." Spot stands. "Now, until your sister gets here, you won't have to worry about being in command."

"I know…"

"And I can handle command even though I've been nauseated lately, so I don't need help."

"Spot…"

"I know…"

"Aid, I'm fine. I just didn't want it getting to the rest of you." He shrugs. "And anyway, it could just be in reaction to Mari's, because she's stressed out right now, so don't worry about me, okay?"

"Okay." Aid hugs him. "And thanks for helping my daughter."

"Don't mention it, Aid. She's my niece, and my _sister_. I've got to help out." He nudges me lightly. "Because I love her."

"Love you too, Spot." I cuddle into his side for a moment. "I need to get that bed put together…"

"Do you need my help, or would I just be in the way?"

"I've got it, but thanks…"


	28. Bad Mornings

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Bad Mornings

 **Monday, 3:00 am**

The first thing I come aware of is the disturbing sound of someone purging. ' _Great…_ '

The next thing I come aware of is the presence of Fixit's spark in the pile, but the absence of Spot's spark. ' _Damnit…_ '

I inch out of the cuddle pile and step into the hall before stretching. ' _What time is it…_ ' I look up at a clock. ' _3:00 in the morning? DAMNIT!_ ' I sigh before starting for the other end of the hall.

I grab a wrag from the cabinet before peeking in the open door. Spot's kneeling in front of the toilet with his head against the wall. I knock on the door frame. "Spot? Can I come in?"

He nods before purging again.

Having to watch him like this hurts, but I'm not running—not anymore, and _definitely_ not like this. I wet the wrag quickly with cold water, and wring it out before stepping over to the mech as he leans back against the wall. "Easy. It's all right." I wipe his mouth off with the rag before folding it over and wiping off his forehead. "Why didn't you wake us up?"

He sighs. "I didn't want to make the rest of you sick…"

I nod. "That alone makes sense." I sigh. "Ready to get back to bed?" He gives me a look. "Your own bed."

He sighs heavily before nodding. ~ _ **I hate not being able to stay with the others, though…**_ ~

~ _I hate not having you there…_ ~ I shrug. ~ _Which is why_ I'm _gonna stay with_ you _._ ~

~ _ **You don't have to do that… I know you're as squeamish as Street… And Fix…**_ ~

~ _That's true, but my compassion can over-ride it for a few days at least._ ~ I smile. "I'm gonna run down to the med-bay and get a bin. I'll be right back. Don't move."

* * *

 **third pov**

Hot Spot stares after what is essentially his baby sister with a stunned expression. "Wow…"

* * *

 **med bay, normal pov**

I run inside and start raiding cabinets for a bin, before finding one in the furthest cabinet from the door. "Seriously, Aid?" I shrug. "Doesn't matter. I need to get back to Spot." I freeze for a second as I run back over what had happened, then glance at the clock above the door. "3:05… Wow. I must have hit him like a wrecking ball…" I shrug. "I can't help it if medicine gives me a rush." I blink. "Groove's an adrenaline junky too, but he likes the normal stuff. I get my thrills from rolling to the rescue." I glance down at the bin in my hand. "Speaking of rolling to the rescue… I need to get back to Spot before he thinks I forgot about him."

I run back inside, smacking my left doorwing on the door on my way in. ' _OW!_ ' I wince, but force the pained expression away. ' _I can't let on that I hurt myself. Spot will feel so bad about it if he finds out…_ ' I sigh heavily. ' _I'll just have Aid or Ratch take a look later._ '

* * *

 **bathroom**

I stop in the shared room to get the bundled and recharging Fixit—he'd been cold earlier, and so we'd let him bring one of his plush blankets to berth—and stop in Hot Spot's room to ditch the bin and the recharging minicon—in the berth and against the wall—before rushing to the bathroom. "Spot?" I kneel beside him, only to find him recharging again. "Hey, wake up, Big Guy. You can't be recharging on the floor. Aid'll have my head if I leave you here." I sigh softly as I look him over. He's taller than me, so this isn't gonna be easy. "I may have super strength, but I can't carry you. You're too big." I shake my head. "Spot…" I run a hand over his head, then sigh heavily. ~ _WAKE UP!_ ~

He stirs slightly, and a groggy voice comes over the bond. ~ _ **What?**_ ~

"Come on, let's get you to your berth." I crouch and help him up. "Slowly, now. I don't want you purging again." I put an arm around him for support before leading him to the berth room beside mine. I help him settle on the berth before pulling a warming blanket up on him, then pull Fixit across my lap to where he's between Spot and I, and settle beside Spot at the back, just in case he needs to purge again.

"You were serious."

"Right. I'm not abandoning you like this, Spot." I curl into his side, Fixit's head on my chest, before laying my head on Spot's chest. "You need me. I don't care what hanging around will do to me." I sigh softly. "Sorry, about the "wrecking ball" thing earlier. Medicine's where I get my thrills, which means I can't calm myself down even when it matters." I giggle softly. "I could give you a run for your money if it's _really_ an emergency." I sigh heavily. "Now, get some rest. I'll handle Aid and the others later." I watch him drift off before letting the façade down. He's going through too much to worry about my doorwing. "Ow…"

* * *

 **7:00 am**

I wake up at my internal alarm, knowing the others will be getting up soon too, and that I really need to get some energon. This is gonna be a hell of a day.

I step into the kitchen with Fixit in my arms, as is usual anymore, and smile at Aid as the others go about starting their day. "Morning, guys."

Aid nods. "Morning." He looks around. "Spot's already up?"

I turn from where I'm putting Fixit into his chair to shake my head. "I was up with him at three…" I rub the back of my neck before grabbing the barely-awake minicon a cube of low grade.

"Thanks…"

"Don't mention it, Bitty." I turn to Aid with a sigh. "What kind of energon would you recommend for someone who's been purging since three?"

"Mari…" He sighs. "Spot's sick, isn't he?"

"Right." I sigh heavily. "But he needs energon, and I'd really like to not have to start a drip."

"I'll get some medical grade for him."

"I'll get it." I point to his cube. "You finish that. Ratch needs our help."

Before I can make it to the door, however, Streetwise stops me by darting into the downstairs bathroom. "Damn. Spot must be up again…" I sigh heavily and shake my head before taking a deep breath to try and maintain control over my body. "I'll just…go get that medical grade now." I sigh. "After I get something to drink…" Blades runs over to the sink and purges. "Slag it!" I take a deep breath. "Groove, go get Silverbolt, Ratchet, and 'Jack before the rest of us lose it. Aid, get the medical grade, because I won't be going anywhere anytime soon."

"Mari?"

"I'm fine. Go. We need that medical grade." I look down, then sigh heavily before plopping onto the floor. If I'm gonna be so conflicted right now that I'm gonna shutdown, I can shut down just as easily sitting on the floor as I can standing up.

Wheeljack's the first one through the door. As the creator of the Protectobots, he's protective of me because of my status as the newest, and youngest, full-size member. "MARI!"

Ratchet runs in next. "What happened? Where did Aid go?"

Silverbolt slips in next. "What's wrong?"

Blades turns from the sink, not wanting to risk moving yet. "She's in shutdown. You're not helping."

"Why did she shut down?"

I hold up a hand. Blades' voice was enough to snap me out of it. "Spot, Street, and Blades are purging. Spot woke me up at three because of it. Where's Groove?"

Silverbolt sighs. "I left him with my gestalt. There's washracks nearby if he needs them."

I nod. "Good." I turn to Ratchet. "Aid's getting medical grade energon from the medbay for Spot. I know there's a bathroom out there too, just in case." I sigh. "Primus, that was overwhelming…"

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and look up to see Ratchet. "Are you okay?"

I nod. "Queasy, but I can handle it. I may be squeamish, but I've worked on holding my own through this for years—since I was thirteen. Closest I've come to that…" I point to where Blades is purging again. "Was two and a half, almost three years ago, and I still didn't actually purge." I shrug. "It's a test of my endurance, of course, but…I'll manage."

Que sighs. "I'll go see what I can do for Streetwise."

"How's Fixit?"

"I'm _right here_ , Ratchet."

"Tired and cranky, but hopefully not nauseated…"

Fixit nods. "Morning sickness isn't too bad today… And I'm not picking up too much feedback from the others, so…"

"Good." Ratchet pulls me after him. "We need to check on Hot Spot. I am not dragging Aid up here right now. He would start another purging cycle for everyone."

I make a face at that idea. "Don't remind me." I sigh softly when his condition pops into my mind. "How are _you_ feeling?"

He winces at the sound that originally woke me up. "Better than your brother is." We step inside, and I turn back to close the door. "Hot Spot?"

He turns to us with a sigh. "Mari… You didn't need to bother Ratchet."

I cross my arms. "I _do_ when Street and Blades start purging." I sigh, but smirk. " _Now_ you're nauseous."

"Right…" He sighs heavily. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be." I sit beside him. "Aid's in the medical bay getting something for me, and Groove's with the Aerialbots." I sigh softly. "Silver's downstairs with Blades, and 'Jack's with Street."

"You're okay?"

I nod. "As I told Ratch, I'm queasy, but I'll manage. You're more important."

"She did have a shutdown, though."

He sighs. "Mari…"

"I had three bots that needed me in the same way at the same time—no way to determine severity." I sigh before leaning against him as Ratchet starts scanning. "I just stood there… I couldn't figure out where to go…"

"You had enough clarity of thought to send Groove after Que and I, and you called on Silverbolt too." He sighs. "I need to talk with Hot Spot alone." Spot and I give him a look. Secrets don't last long in a gestalt. "I have my reasons. You need to get some energon before we have to open the medical bay." He sighs. "Aid will not be much help today, but you seem to be handling this well."

"I had time to prepare myself." I shrug. "Aid warned me before I ever became one of them. I'm fine."

"Good. Now go." He sighs. "And get the Medical grade from Aid. I want Hot Spot to recharge."

"Will do." I sigh. ~ _Guess we're gonna miss_ _Rescue Bots_ _today, Guys. Thank Primus for DVR._ ~ I set Fixit on the couch and head out to the med-bay.


	29. Problems

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

Problems…

 **9:05 Am**

I stick my head into the medical bay. "Aid?"

"Yeah?" He steps out of the back room, running an arm over his mouth. "Oh! Spot's energon. Sorry." He steps over and hands me a light pink cube. "Hurry back."

I nod. "What were you doing back there?" I sigh at the sheepish look. "You too?"

He nods. "Welcome to being part of a gestalt." He sighs. "Ratch still with him?"

"Yeah. He kicked me out, and everyone's still split up because of the purging…"

"It's not the first time we've all been split up like this, Mari." He sighs softly before hugging me. "But we do understand about you not wanting to be away from us."

"Aid, we're less than a mile from the fire station! I can handle that, because I can still sense you. Now…" I sigh and lean against the wall by the door. "Now, I can't be near you guys, and we're never apart here… I wanna be with Spot—he needs me—but Ratch won't let me."

"Well, Ratchet's the best at what he does. We'll be back to curling up with him before you know it." He steps over to me. "Now, get that energon to them before Ratchet gets mad." He sighs softly. "And I'm glad you're coping better than the rest of us."

* * *

 **inside**

I walk upstairs to find the door closed, so I knock on the door. "Ratchet?"

He sticks his head around the door. "What do you need, Mariposa?"

"I have the medical grade for Spot."

"All right, give it here." He sighs. "How was Aid?"

I sigh. "Still cheerful as ever, but…it got to him too. He was coming out of the back room as I went in."

Ratchet shakes his head. "Make sure he'll be all right, then go over your datapads, and _study_. You've got an EMS test tonight." He sighs. "Hopefully, for Aid's sake, Sideswipe won't do anything stupid today."

"Right. I remember, Ratch." I sigh. "For Aid's sake?"

"They saved his spark, eons ago." He sighs. "They are the bane of my existence, but they saved First Aid, so I know they have some good in them."

I nod. "Sides only wants to have fun, and Sunny won't hurt an innocent. They're harmless." I sigh at his glare. "I'll talk to them later today."

" _Study_."

"Got it, Ratch!" I rub the back of my neck. "Training off?"

"Postponed, at the moment. I need to stay with Hot Spot. Aid should be able to handle anyone who comes in, but comm me if it is anything serious."

"Will do." I sigh heavily. "Let me know, how he's doing?"

"I will." He sighs. "This isn't easy for you, is it?"

I sigh and shake my head. "But, Aid understands."

"Any gestalt would." He sighs. "You get downstairs and study. I will try to join you, but I am not sure when I will be able to."

"Yes, Sir."

* * *

 **11:00 am**

"Mari?"

I look up from my EMS book before looking back down. I'm in bot form, lying on my stomach, laying on one of the berths with the book in front of me. it's tiny compared to my new size, but I'm more comfortable studying like this. "What's wrong, Aid?"

He sighs. "I'm fine. Have you heard anything from the others?"

I shake my head. "Nada." I sigh. "But I haven't tried contacting anyone, just in case Spot's 'chargin'."

"You couldn't wake him up for anything."

I sigh heavily. "Had to use the bond to earlier this morning."

"What?"

I rub the back of my neck. "He drifted off on the bathroom floor, and I had to wake him up, but we didn't want the rest of you starting to purge too, so…"

"At least you didn't leave him in there."

I shake my head. "But I did…kinda…" I rub the back of my neck.

He steps over and sits beside me. "What did you do?"

"I went through all the medical questions, and comforting him, in less than five minutes." I sigh heavily. "I can be a wrecking ball when I get worried, but that's no excuse to go crazy on a sick mech." I sigh heavily. "I get my thrills from helping people, but that doesn't mean I should be worse than Blurr when it comes to helping them."

"Spot would have said something if you did anything wrong."

"I know." I sigh heavily. "But still… I slammed into a sick patient—my own brother—like a wrecking ball."

Aid laughs. "He slams into us the same way, so don't feel bad about it. We love the energy the two of you have. Sometimes, I wish _I_ had it too." He sighs. "But, I don't think we'd be able to handle having three mechs with his kind of energy."

I shake my head. " _Two_ mechs, and a _femme_ , and…" I sigh. "Me neither. Sometimes _I_ can't even keep up with Spot." I smile. "Though I do sleep better, now that I'm with you guys."

"You're starting to recover."

I sigh softly, then glance out the window at the snow. For once, I don't have a flashback. "I think so… Trauma's not easy to recover from, though."

"You're doing good, though. We believe in you."

"Thanks, Aid." I turn back to my book. "Ratch'll have my head if I don't get back to studying."

"He really threatened you?"

I shake my head. "Nah, but he repeated himself often enough. I figure I'd better do it before he threw a wrench at me." I sigh heavily. "I know better than to upset a carrying mech by now." I look up to Aid so fast it throws off my equilibrium for a moment. "Oh!" I groan and lay my head back on my book. "Damnit."

"Mari?"

"I'm fine. Dizzy spell." I sigh before sitting up, then turn to him. "What if that's what's wrong with Spot!?"

"What?"

I shake my head. "It's nothing…" I sigh heavily. "I was just wondering if Spot may be carrying, but I know very little about him—I don't even know if he was with someone…"

"You did say you have a sixth sense…"

I shrug. "Either way, we won't know for a while, so we might as well stop worrying about it." I sigh heavily. "Though… What would happen if he were?" I rub the back of my neck. "I did cut you off, after all…"

"Symptoms affect everyone, just like anything else, and we wouldn't be able to combine without transferring the newspark."

I sigh, letting that sink in. "That doesn't just go for—"

"The medically based symptoms, _and_ the emotionally based."

I sigh heavily. " _Joy_." He gives me a look. "I'm emotional on a good day, and sensitive to boot. I cry at commercials, and that's…" I motion to me. "When I'm normal."

"Mariposa, why are you not studying?"

The two of us look up to Ratchet, startled, and find a bundled Fixit in his arms. Aid sighs. "It's my fault. I interrupted her."

"Mariposa?"

I nod, then sigh as I take the minicon and help him out of the coat Groove had bought. He'd stayed with Blades while I was helping Ratchet, and I'd left him there. "We're all worried about Spot right now, Ratch."

He nods. "Hot Spot is recharging now, so stop worrying."

"And the others?"

He sighs. "Blades is watching some rescue show—"

I jump to my feet, ready to run inside. "Better not be my _Rescue Bots_!"

He shakes his head. "Calm down, he's watching _Nightwatch_. Your shows are safe." He sighs as I sit back beside Aid. "Streetwise and Groove are still with the Aerialbots, and Silverbolt is still inside with Hot Spot."

I nod. That's comforting, at least. "Good." I wince suddenly at a sharp pain in my doorwing.

"Mari?" Aid lays a hand on my arm. "What's wrong?"

I sigh. "My doorwing decided to remind me that I ran it into a door in my panic earlier."

"Which one?"

"Left." I sigh heavily. "Careful. I'm sensitive to pain."

Ratchet glances over to us. "What?"

"Pain, especially sharp pain… I come close to passing out then. I don't think we need that, with everything that's going on with the rest of us."

"I'll be gentle. Just hold still…" He sighs softly. "There's a little dent, but it won't be hard to fix." He sighs and points to something I can't see. "Ratchet, would you hand me that?"

"Remember to check the sensors." He steps over beside us. "She may not have damaged them this time, but I do not want to take chances."

~ _Foot and hands, Aid._ ~

~ _I know._ ~ He sighs heavily. "She already has nerve damage, Ratchet."

"I know. We need to make sure it does not spread to her back and doorwings." Ratchet rests a hand on my shoulder. "I had to watch Aid suffer when we believed he had lost his brothers. While it would not be along the same line, I do not wish to see you suffer over something we could have prevented, any more than I want to see another mech out-live his gestalt."

Aid wraps a protective arm around me. We're waiting to tell Ratchet about the confirmation until we're actually able to prove it in front of him, so we can't actually tell him that there's someone here without her other half. "Or lose one of the twins. I remember how you reacted that day."

"I…" Ratchet sighs. "I almost lost you, then Sideswipe almost died…"

I sigh heavily. "You both realize everyone's alive now, right?" I shake my head. "I'm traumatized over Ratchet, as well as my Birthdad, but we're all _here_. We're _alive_." I wait for Aid to release me before turning and hugging the neon medic. "We'll get through this together."

"Thank you."

I shrug. "Don't mention it." I pat his arm. "You looked like you needed a hug."

Ratchet shakes his head. "Gestalts…"

Aid shakes his head. "She's not that way because of us, Ratchet. She's just naturally a cuddler." He shrugs. "If we hadn't taken her in, I was going to recommend you or Optimus take her in."

"I know, Aid. You've already told us your suspicions…"

I shrug. "I wanted to know what it was like…"

"Well, now you do…" He sighs. "It's been two weeks. What do you think?"

I smile. "It's great." I rub the back of my neck. "Some things, I could do without—the purging fiasco this morning, for example—but most of its great."

Aid sighs. "What about the Cemetery Wind attack last Thursday?"

"Now that, I'd like to _forget_." I sigh heavily. "The whole nightmare—and the real nightmare after the fact too."

"Cemetery Wind came here?"

I look up to see Ratchet looking nervous. "Ummm…"

Aid sighs. "She shot their leader in the arm trying to defend us, then ran off. I found her crying under our berth after it was over." He smiles. "But she did help us with the repairs after, and we kept them from getting into the main base."

"She shot someone?"

I look at the ground as my doorwings fall. "Uh-huh…"

Ratchet leans over to look in my optics. "Mariposa…" He sighs before giving me a gentle hug. "It's all right." He looks over at Aid. "Did she shut down then too?"

Aid shakes his head. "She didn't _shutdown_ , but she did have a _meltdown_. Spot calmed her down." He smiles. "And she managed to pull herself together well enough to help me in repairs."

"Aid…"

"She chose to do it." He sighs. " _After_ falling apart on Spot."

I cross my arms. "I was scared, Aid! The Rescue Bots sacrificed themselves, and…" I sigh heavily. "I cried over the episode, and it all came back—that, and AOE, because of their attack on us…on my family."

"A.O.E.?"

"Age Of Extinction…" I look at my feet as my doorwings fall again, prompting the neon medic to put an arm around me. "The Lockdown scene in particular…" I sigh and turn to where I'm nuzzled into his shoulder. "It was just too close, Ratch… Too close… I already lost you… I couldn't lose them too…"

"Have you checked her spark for damage?"

Aid gives him a look. "Wouldn't we have repaired it?"

Ratchet sighs. "Before you merged with her, did you check her spark?"

Aid sighs before shaking his head. "We were more focused on making sure she knew what she was getting into… I'm sorry… It was a rookie mistake…"

"Aid…" Ratchet sighs. "I would have made the same mistake. You could not have known how she looked at me at the time, or how she does now."

Aid sighs heavily. "I did, Ratchet. She told me." He sighs heavily. "She told Drift, a week after she showed up in Chicago—hours before we decided to add her to our gestalt bond—that Lockdown killed someone she looked at as family." He sighs. "Then right after we formed it with her, and she went into the first shutdown around us because of a memory, she said she'd wanted to kill him—my peaceful, caring sister—my _daughter_ , wanted to kill him for what he'd done…" He sighs. Even I can tell he's getting himself worked up, and I'm the one who usually does that. "She regretted not being there, to save you."

Ratchet looks down at me. "Mariposa?"

I look up at him with a soft sob at the memory. "I was only a few hours away from where you were killed, Ratch. I might have been able to save you, if I'd known you were there."

"Tell him what you told me through the bond."

I lock eyes with Aid before sighing. "I told them "I have to fight, if for nothing else, then for Ratchet's legacy—for Ratchet. He was a combat medic—something I've wanted for the last two years—something he inspired me to do"." Ratchet gives me a surprised look. "Then, I told him later…" I look down. "You didn't know I hid in the shadows beside the movie theater and cried for the first time after losing my mother because they killed him off. You didn't know I've spent the last two years in anguish if anyone mentions Lockdown. You didn't know that, every time I thought of the mech, I wanted to end him, even though he was already gone. You didn't know I only started liking neon green because of his memory—it's one of my favorite shirts now. You didn't know, that I can't listen to Linkin Park's Final Masquerade without seeing the movie in my mind and hearing Lockdown's voice…" I sigh heavily. "I know this isn't the time, or place, but… I loved you before we met, and I still do. At the time, only a family-love—you know, for a parent—was acceptable, because my family frowned on anything else, but when I got here…" I sigh softly. "I started to realize that it wasn't that way. That, while I'm eons younger, it doesn't matter anymore, how old someone is, for you to love them." I sigh softly. "I cried/never gonna hold the hand of another guy/too young, for him they told her/waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier…"

The neon medic looks down at me, surprise in his optics. "You…" He sighs before sitting on the berth I had been studying on. "Mari… Primus…" He shakes his head. "I am not all you imagine, Youngling. I can be—"

"Dr. Jerk, I _know_." I shrug. " _So what_? It never bothered me." I smile. "Besides, I've done the same thing you do with a rubber Radius in Anatomy class…"

"You threw an arm bone at someone?"

"I said rubber, meaning fake, and I never actually threw the thing, but I sure threatened to. Class study games are not meant for competition. They're for learning and review. You want to compete, you go into sports. Get too into competition, and I'm gonna smack you with something."

"She did it to Blades last week, too."

"She threatened Blades with a rubber bone?"

Aid shakes his head. "One of my wrenches."

"Well…" He smiles. "Good."

I sigh. "I've got a temper too. I inherited it from my biological father. I understand why you do what you do, and I'm not bothered by it." I tap my chin. "How did I word that… Oh, right!" I smile at him. "Be nice to me, and I'm a great friend. Cut me down, and I'll turn into a nervous wreck. Get on my bad side, and I'll throw anything from my phone, to a _shoe_ , or worse, at _you_."

Aid looks surprised at how Ratchet and I are acting—particularly me, even though he knew of my Ratchet-like volatile temper. Ratchet simply grins. "Primus, Femme. You could be the closest thing humankind has to me!"

I turn to him with an eyebrow raised. "Meaning?"

"You already know of my volatile temper, _and_ my bedside manner. You are acting the same way."

I shrug. "I'm better at showing compassion, though…"

"You are newer than I am, and it is a defense mechanism."

I blink up at him as that sinks in. "You must care more than Aid!"

He shakes his head. "Nope. I do not think anyone could care more than Aid does, but you are a close second." He sighs. "However, I do care a lot more than I let on." He stands before motioning for me to sit on the berth. Once I'm settled, he taps on my chest plates. "Now, open up." He glances toward Aid, who's sitting on the other side of the room. "Why don't you go check on your brothers?"

"He's fine, Ratch. He's seen my spark before." I shrug. "I'm not an original, after all. They all did."

"Fine." He sighs heavily before examining it, then turns to get something, only to find Aid holding it out. "Thank you." He runs the scanner over it. He sighs heavily as he leans back. "Well…"

"Ratchet?"

"There is minor damage deep down, but it is healing well." He turns to Aid. "You are all doing quite well in helping her recover."

Aid sighs. "Bringing you back did a lot too, though. She gets so excited about what each day could bring." He glances at me as I close my plating. "Of course, we're still just getting used to each other, but… It's like she's always been one of us." He smiles. "It's like there was a piece missing, that we didn't realize wasn't there, until we met her. Two weeks ago, she was ready to give up, and she's still here because of us."

"Because of you." Ratchet gives me a look. "He and Groove were on board that night, and Street wanted me off the streets before I froze or got shot, but Spot and Blades weren't really on-board."

"They warmed up to her. Blades and Street didn't want her as part of us at first, either, but we worked it out pretty quickly."

"I was still scared you'd all decided to kick me out…"

"Oh, Mari…" He hugs me. "We'd never send you away. Why would you even think that?"

I sigh softly. "No one ever cared that much for me before…"

"Don't tell Spot yet. He doesn't need to worry about your spark issues right now."

I nod. "He needs to recover, then we can worry about the damage, if it's still there."

Ratchet glares at us, causing us to shrug. "We don't want him worrying about us when he doesn't need to."

Ratchet sighs before pointing to me. "You are new to their team, and you have damage to your spark from a life of abuse and neglect."

"Losing you didn't help, either."

"And I am sorry about that." He points to Aid. "You still have damage from the disruptor cannon, not to mention your decrystalizer canon causes short-outs."

Aid puts an arm around me. "I can take care of Mari, and I haven't used it since I was less than a vorn."

Ratchet sighs. "I am not doubting your abilities, Aid, but I doubt keeping things from Hot Spot will help matters."

I sigh heavily. "He's right, Aid. Spot doesn't like being blocked out like that."

"I know, but sometimes it's better." I glance at the time and sigh. "I've got to meet Hide at 4 for my training…"

"I'll stay with Fixit."

"I _don't_ _need_ a _spark-sitter_ , Mari. _I'm not a sparkling_."

I shake my head and crouch to him. "I know you don't need a spark-sitter, Fixit, but right now, we still need to keep someone with you _because_ of your spark, okay?" He nods, sighing heavily. "I know you're tired of not having any time alone, but you're getting stronger every day, so you should be able to go around on your own soon."

"Wish I could right now…"

"I know." I run a hand over his head. "But it'll be soon, okay?"

"Okay…"


	30. (Truth is) Stranger than Fiction

I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

~ _ **Bonds, Hot Spot**_ ~

~ _ **Bonds, Blades**_ ~

~ _Bonds, First Aid_ ~

~ **Bonds, Groove** ~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~ _Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa_ ~

"Normal"

' _Thoughts_ '

" _Comms or phone, other side_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Tones**_ "

" _ **Bumblebee, Comms**_ "

" **Bumblebee, Radio** "

* * *

(Truth is) Stranger than Fiction

 **4:00 pm**

I glance at the gun in Ironhide's hands before looking up to the mech himself. "Hey."

"Hot Spot told me about you not wanting to fight." He sighs before setting the gun down, then lays a hand on my shoulder. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I nod. "You're not going to get upset?"

"Hide…" I sigh heavily. "I have to learn. I promised Ratchet."

"He didn't say anything."

I shrug. "We hadn't revived him yet." I sigh. "I-I had to watch Lockdown end him in the movie, and ever since…" I look down. "Cemetery Wind showed up here, last Wednesday, and I had to shoot the guy to save my brothers. I've been through a lot since I came here, but I'll be okay. I love weapons, I just don't like the idea of using them to kill. I'll use them to stop someone, if I have no other option, but I'll use non-lethal shots." I sigh heavily.

"Bumblebee told me about that."

"Yeah?" I sigh heavily. "Hardest thing I've ever had to do, but at least my brothers didn't meet the same fate as Ratchet did." I smile slightly. "You don't think about right/you don't think about wrong/you just do what you gotta do/to defend your own/and I'd do the same/for you…"

He looks down at me. "What?"

I shrug. "Sentinel hurt someone I cared about too. It isn't just Lockdown, even though I reacted worse with Ratch. It's Cade and Sounders for Que, it's Sentinel Prime with you, it's Lockdown with Ratchet, it's Megatron with Optimus and Jazz…" I sigh. "You're all the only true family I've had in a long time, and I'm not letting anyone hurt you. If that means I have to fight, then so be it. I'm a prime, Hide. I don't have a choice."

He nods, then turns to grab the gun. "Then we'll start with this, until I can get a weapon designed for you."

I take it, and look it over. "What is it?"

"Pulse rifle." He sighs. "I know you're more used to human weapons, but it's the closest thing I have."

I nod. "My brothers already told me the stories."

* * *

 **5:00 pm**

I walk in the back door and take a cube from someone without paying much attention. I'm thinking about what Ratchet told me, and my first training session with Ironhide.

"How was weapons training?"

I look up at the voice. "Spot!?" I fumble the cube for a moment before setting it on the counter so I can hug him. "Oh, God! How long have you been up? How are you feeling? What did Ratchet say?"

"Mari…"

I step back and glance to Aid before blushing. "Oops… Guess I did it again…"

"I don't mind." He sighs. "I've been up since noon, and I'll be fine, Mari. As for what Ratchet said, that can wait until after you get back from class."

"But…"

"If I tell you now, you won't pay any attention in your class."

"And if I don't pay attention, I won't pass the test. If I don't pass the test, I'll never be an EMT. If I don't become an EMT, I can't go out with you guys when you get a call."

"Right."

~ _I'm worried though, Spot…_ ~

~ _ **Don't be. I'm fine.**_ ~

"I…" I sigh heavily. ~ _I don't wanna find you in the bathroom like that again, Spot. I-I can't see you sick like that again._ ~

He sighs before hugging me. ~ _ **Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Now finish your energon.**_ ~

~ _Who's taking me to class?_ ~

~I am. Aid's got something to do with Ratchet, and the others are spending the evening with Superion.~

"I need to get changed first, though." I sigh heavily. ~ _So, everyone's feeling okay now?_ ~

~ _ **Yep.**_ ~

~I'm good.~

~ **I've been fine.** ~

~ _Great._ ~

~ _ **Better.**_ ~

"Fixit? How are you feeling?"

"I'm all right…just tired…"

I look up to Spot before taking a drink from my cube. ~ _You're sure?_ ~ I sigh heavily at the look he gives me. ~ _I worry. You know that._ ~

~ _ **I know. I'm not mad. I'm just tired of being asked.**_ ~

~ _Sorry…_ ~

~ _ **Don't be. I'll explain things after your class.**_ ~

~ _Why don't you explain things now?_ ~

He sighs. ~ _ **I don't want to distract you.**_ ~

~ _ **You're already flightier than Fireflight.**_ ~

I roll my eyes. ~ _Blades, you're lucky I'm not easily upset by being called flighty, or I'd smack you._ ~ I sigh through the bond. ~ _Yes, I'm flighty, and more so because I'm worried about Spot, but that doesn't mean I'll flunk._ ~ I shrug. "I was distracted through my entire EMS class back in Indiana, and I never scored lower than an eighty. This is old training, guys. I'll do fine. You're all worried about nothing."

"So are you…"

"Spot…" I sigh and drain the cube before starting for the stairs. "Until I know what's wrong, I'm gonna worry, and if it's necessary, I'll _keep_ worrying."

"I'll stay with Fixit, so you won't have to worry about him."

"Thanks, Spot…"

* * *

I shift into human form and change, then run back down the stairs again, a pink plaid messenger bag over my shoulder. "'M ready, Street! Let's roll!" I look around to see more than one mech with an eyebrow ridge raised. "What?"

"We've never seen you so excited to take a test."

"I love EMS." I shrug. "I love rolling to the rescue. I can't if I can't be out there with you, so I'm eager to get certified." I grin. "Besides… I was this excited the last time, too—except it was tempered by nerves because I wasn't sure I could do it. Now, I know I can, so I can't wait to get out there."

"We'll be glad to have you."

"Thanks." I check the time on my phone. "We have to go, Street. I can't be late."

He sighs. "I'm coming."

"Aid?"

"Yeah?"

"If Spot starts purging again, don't try to handle it on your own. Get Ratchet, and send everyone out to the Aerialbots. You go too. Street and I will be able to pick up the emotions, so I need you to try to keep things together here."

"You're sure you can do this?"

"I'm fine, Aid. I'm just worried about Spot. I need to know you can handle it if he gets sick again."

"I'll be fine, Mari. I used to practice on my brothers. Get moving before you're late."

"I'm goin', I'm goin'."

* * *

 **third pov**

"She took charge again, didn't she?" Aid nods. "She's got to be a commander…she just naturally falls into the leadership position if I can't. She's got all the signs of being a gestalt commander…"

"I know… Silverbolt's going to have a field day with that one, though…"

"Because she acted like a worried parent? She's _always_ done that!"

* * *

 **10:00 pm**

I sigh as I step into the house. Street had run in right after we got here, but I wanted to look out over the city. It's beautiful, even if it's dangerous. "Tired?"

I look up to Aid. He's got Fixit, wrapped in a blanket of course, curled in his arms with his head on Aid's shoulder. I get the feeling he'd wanted to wait up for me, but he hadn't made it. "Exhausted… Don't know why, though." I shrug. "Probably just those slaggin' dizzy spells rearing their ugly head again." I sigh when Aid gives me a look. "It's caused by my anxiety, and goes along with my PTSD. I can handle it, and I'm doing my best to keep it out of the bond."

"Don't. We can handle it."

I shrug. "Okay." I sigh as I look around. "Where is everyone?"

"Upstairs. I was waiting for you, so you wouldn't think we'd abandoned you or anything."

I follow Aid up the stairs. "You didn't have to do that, Aid."

"I wanted to."

I duck into my room and give my cats a little attention before changing into my pajamas—God, I love not having to get dressed until class—then shift back into my Cybertronian form and slip into our shared berth room.

I take the minicon from Aid and crawl into the cuddle pile carefully with Fixit in my arms, being too anxious about hurting Spot or making him sick again to move any faster.

~ _ **Mari? What are you doing? I'm not made of glass.**_ ~

~ _I didn't want to hurt you…_ ~

~ _ **I'm fine. You're not heavy enough to. I was built sturdy enough to support four other frames.**_ ~

~ _Right. Doesn't help._ ~ I sigh heavily. ~ _So, what were you going to tell me?_ ~

He sighs. ~ _ **Technically, I was going to tell everyone…**_ ~

~ _Well?_ ~

~ **What is it, Spot?** ~

~You don't usually leave us out of the loop.~

~ _ **That's usually Aid.**_ ~

~ _GUYS!_ ~ I huff. ~ _Give the mech a chance to talk!_ ~ I pause. ~ _Figuratively speaking…_ ~

~ _ **I'm carrying.**_ ~ I freeze for a moment before trying to shift off him. ~ _ **Mari, stop. You're fine.**_ ~

~ _But I'm heavier than anyone but Aid!_ ~

~ _ **And I'd be fine if he were in your place.**_ ~ He sighs. ~ _ **You can't hurt anything. Trust me, my frame's strong enough to support everyone.**_ ~

~ _Right… Sorry…_ ~ I sigh heavily. ~ _Do you know how far along?_ ~

~ _ **Ratchet said about a week…**_ ~

~ _I'm surprised it didn't transfer when we helped with Fixit…_ ~

~ _Aid?_ ~

~ _Sparklings carried by a gestalt member will usually be spread around during the first stage, and it causes nausea for the entire being when they merge._ ~

~ _ **I think I was a bit too early in the carriage for that to happen, Aid, and…**_ ~

~And?~

~ _ **They split, while Ratchet was scanning…**_ ~

~ _Twins?_ ~

~ _ **Twins.**_ ~

~ _Spot…_ ~ I can't stop the smirk from forming. ~ _Ya went a little overboard when the Aerialbots got here, didn't you?_ ~

~ _ **…We hadn't seen them in eons…**_ ~

I smile. ~ _Doesn't bother me._ ~ I smirk when I remember something. ~ _I have no problem with relationships between the two of you, but don't interface as Defensor._ ~

~ _ **Why would we?**_ ~

~ _Story I read, a few years ago. I just…don't want to see the results of that—not to mention,_ I'm _a part of Defensor, and_ I _don't feel that way about Superion._ ~

~ _Mostly, it's just Spot and Silver._ ~

~Though Aid and Flight had a fling a few years ago…~

~ _Streetwise! Don't corrupt her!_ ~

~ _Good to know._ ~ I shrug. ~ _Besides, I told Ratchet how I feel today…_ ~

~ _ **You did?**_ ~

~ **How'd it go?** ~

I shrug. ~ _I'm not sure. I'm gonna give it a few days, and see what happens._ ~

~ **He didn't tell you?** ~

~ _She caught him by surprise, Groove._ ~

~ _ **If she doesn't get an answer…**_ ~

~Blades _… You're not fighting with Ratchet._ ~

~ _ **I was only going to talk with him.**_ ~ He lays a hand on my doorwing, since they're facing him right now. ~ _ **I'm not letting him hurt you, Mari.**_ ~

Aid sighs. ~ _Mari…_ ~

I smile gently. ~ _I know, Aid. I was about to tell him._ ~

~ _ **Tell me what?**_ ~

~ _Ratchet ran a spark scan, this afternoon…_ ~

~ _ **What's wrong, Mari?**_ ~

~ _ **Don't tell me you're carrying too!**_ ~

~ _NO._ ~ I scoff. ~ _I'm not that kind of girl, Blades._ ~ I sigh softly. ~ _No… He—he picked up some minor damage, deep down. He thinks it's from the abuse and neglect, but part of it could have been from loving him, and realizing it when it was just…too late…_ ~

~ _ **Part of that could be because you and Claire are separated too…**_ ~

~ _He said we've done good so far, though. It would have been far worse if I had caught it before we merged with her._ ~

~I thought something seemed off!~

~ _Street? What do you mean?_ ~

~I saw a crack…when we first merged… It took up half her spark!~

~ _Why didn't you tell me?_ ~

~ _ **That's kind of important, Street… Silver and I needed to know that when we were asking Mari about being gestalt herself last week. He wouldn't have had to grill her then.**_ ~

~Sorry, Spot… I wanted to tell Mari what I found first, but we never had the chance to talk. She was always with Aid and Ratchet, or you, or Blades that one time…~

~ _ **You guys are saying he**_ **already** _ **hurt her?**_ ~

I reach around and squeeze Blades' hand. ~ _He hurt me only by being killed, Blades. Lockdown hurt me. Cemetery Wind hurt me._ ~ I sigh softly. ~ _Being so spacy that I didn't realize I was in love before it was too late hurt me… Ratchet didn't hurt me on purpose._ ~ I sigh. ~ _Or maybe he did, because he gave up on fighting when he saw Lockdown, but he didn't know I was out there, or that I felt that way about him…_ ~ I sigh heavily. ~ _Guys… We need to get to recharge. Spot needs the rest, and we're keeping him up. Not to mention that Fixit's asleep, and he's part of our gestalt now, so we're going to wake him up if we don't quiet down._ ~

~ _ **He hasn't reached the bond yet, though…**_ ~

~ _I know he hears us, he just hasn't been able to communicate through it yet._ ~

~ _ **Blades, don't terrorize Mari. Mari, you're fine.**_ ~

~ _No. I've done research on carrying, and, while I don't have all the information, I know it won't be easy, and you need your rest._ ~

~ _Mari's right, Spot._ ~ Aid sighs. ~ _And Mari and I need to help Ratchet tomorrow, too._ ~

~ _See? We all need to get some rest._ ~ I shrug. ~ _Least I know why I'm so tired again. Thought those dizzy spells were coming back._ ~ I nuzzle under Spot's chin. ~ _Night, Guys._ ~

~ _ **Dizzy spells?**_ ~

~ _Anxiety from my PTSD was causing me to get really dizzy, and pretending I was fine was exhausting. I haven't been this tired since we_ met _. From what Aid said earlier, I can easily assume I was getting your fatigue through the bond._ ~ I shrug when Streetwise pops up to give me a confused look. ~ _I know the symptoms of carrying, Street. He'll be tired for a while—even with his seemingly endless energy._ ~

~Thanks…~

~ _This finding out of your league?_ ~

~Extremely. I'm an enforcer, not a medic like you and Aid.~

~ _And Claire in the future._ ~ I pause to think back. ~ _Brightstar…_ ~

~ _Mari, they're supposed to—_ ~

~ _ **Not if they're carried, Aid…**_ ~

~ _Mari and Star are in adult frames, just like we were when we on-lined._ ~

~ _That was a name she chose right before the fight—a Native American thing we were doing while playing four square with the future bitch and her sweet, loving little sister. Mine was Shining Star, but I like Mariposa better._ ~

~ _ **What about your combined form?**_ ~

~ _I don't know yet…I'd have to wait until I talk with Claire again…but I like Starlight._ ~

~ _Starlight… I like it._ ~

~ _ **Sounds like you…and how you've described Claire…**_ ~

I smile at the thought before going back to the subject at hand. ~ _I'll keep ya up to date, Street. Don't worry._ ~ I shrug. ~ _Maybe I'll pull out that laptop you guys rebuilt for me, and show you what I have on humans. Maybe that, plus what Aid can get you, will help._ ~ I yawn, then sigh heavily. ~ _I'm exhausted, so I know Spot is._ Goodnight _._ ~


	31. Bad News

I have a poll on my profile page asking a question I really want to have answered. I'm trying to get as many answers as I can, and very few people visit my profile. I've gotten literally one answer in a week, and that's sad. Please answer, and be honest about it.

* * *

 **I only own my OC's!**

* * *

 **Bad News**

 **the next morning, early (7:00 AM)**

"Mari…wake up, Sweetspark."

"Aid?"

"Yes."

"What's wrong? Is Spot sick again?"

"No."

"Fixit?"

"Nope. _Ironhide_."

I sit up carefully, since I'm still on top of Spot. "Well _he_ wasn't on my list…"

"Mine either. I thought _Ratchet_ was sick." Aid sighs heavily before leading me down the stairs. "Ratchet needs us in the med-bay, A-S-A-P. He told me to make sure we were both fueled first, because he's not sure when we'll be able to come back in."

"All right." I get myself a cube before turning to Aid—who has his own—one that's already down to ¾ full—with a sigh. "Do we know what's wrong with 'Hide, or is that still up in the air?"

"I've got an idea, after what happened with Ratchet, but I'm not sure, so we'll see."

"I used the same strength on everyone, Aid…"

"I'm aware of that, Mari. I was watching you the whole time."

"Then how would I have managed to spark someone else up?" I shake my head before draining the rest of my cube.

"I don't know." He sets his now-empty cube in the sink, then takes mine. "Let's go. Ratchet's waiting."

"I'm right behind you."

* * *

Aid and I step into the med-bay to find a harried-and-tired-looking Ratchet and a purging Ironhide. "Ratchet?"

He glares up at me. "I swear, if you went overboard again…"

"If I did, I didn't mean to." I step over to the two, noticing rather quickly that Ratchet is looking paler by the second. "Aid, get Ratchet a bin, and get him settled on the other berth please?"

"Taking charge in _my_ med-bay now?"

I cross my arms and glare at him. "Ratchet, you look like you're about to either join 'Hide, or pass out, neither of which you need right now. Get to a berth before you do, because Aid and I neither one are strong enough to pick you up if you go down, and if _you_ purge, _I'll_ purge too."

He gives me a concerned look. "Is the feedback that bad today?"

I shake my head and huff. "No. _My_ _stress level_ is that bad right now, and you're not helping matters. Aid? Please?"

"Come on, Ratchet. It's for your own good…"

Ratchet sighs before shaking his head, and moves the hand that had been resting on Ironhide's arm. I notice immediately that he's shaking. "Ratch…" I step over and take the trembling hand in my own. "This isn't normal…you don't usually shake like this…"

"I'll be fine, Mari." He turns to Aid. "If you could help me to my office? I _am_ a bit off-balance this morning."

"Of course."

I watch for Aid to come back, all the while running through re-checking the vitals Ratchet had taken before we got out here. "Is he okay?"

Aid nods. "He'll be fine, Mari. Trust me."

"But…"

"He's okay." Aid picks up a scanner—the one he'd used on Ratchet and Fixit last week—and starts a spark scan on Ironhide.

"Mom." I cross my arms when he turns to me. "Just…promise me he's not going to die again?" Aid closes his eyes, and looks away. "Mom? He's not dying, _right_? I…I didn't _save_ _him_ for _nothing_?"

Aid sighs heavily. "I need to run to KSI for something. Can you handle this?"

"KSI… F***…" Aid turns to me in shock over my language, only to see the tears in my eyes. I shake my head and start for the door. I will _not_ break down in front of Ironhide. I swallow the forming lump in my throat before nodding to Ironhide. "Excuse me a moment."

* * *

 **Third POV**

First Aid stares after his sister—and _daughter_ —for a moment before turning to Ironhide with a heavy sigh. "Would you be okay on your own for a minute? I think she's taking this hard…"

"You weren't even able to tell her…"

"I think she's already figured it out…after I mentioned KSI… She's as hyper-aware as Street some days…"

"I know that… What…what is KSI?"

"Joshua Joyce learned how to refine and use Cybertronium a couple years ago—he used it in an egocentric fashion until he officially got to know us, but now he uses it sparingly, and sends most of it to us for use in repairs…and I showed him how to refine it properly—he's our main supplier of medical-grade Cybertronium. He's the CEO of Kinetic Solutions International, a robotics company— _that_ is KSI."

Ironhide looks up to First Aid sadly. "Ratch relapsed?"

"I think so…I'd have to run a test to be sure, but I'm sure he's already doing that…" He sighs. "'Hide…there's _very_ _little_ Cybertronium left on this planet…and _Mari knows that_."

* * *

 **Normal POV**

I run over to the Maple behind the med-bay and sit on the snow behind the wide trunk before wrapping my arms around my knees. I bury my face into them and start to cry.

"Mari?" Aid crouches to me and lays a hand on my shoulder. "Mari, Sweetspark…"

"I-I c-can't… I can't lose him again, Mom! I can't!"

Aid closes his eyes sadly. "You knew…"

I nod. "I-I read about it…a few months ago…before I came here… It's still too fresh…and I can't…I can't watch him _die_ , Mom… It was hard enough in the movie…at Lockdown's hand… I just watched my human mom die a couple years ago… I can't do it again…"

"It'll be okay, Mari. We can get through this. I already have once, and if you're anything like me, you can too." He sighs softly. "And I'm sure Ratchet would feel very, very bad if he knew you were out here in the snow, crying your spark out over him."

"I-I didn't want to be…but I couldn't break down in front of Hide…"

"He'd understand, Mari. He helped Wheeljack and Ratchet raise all ten of us, after all. He's seen it all."

"O-okay…" I let Aid pull me back to my feet.

"Now… I need to get to KSI, okay?" I nod. "And you need to stay with 'Hide." I nod again. "I need you to try not to let on that you know about this, for me, okay?"

"B-but…"

"Ratchet doesn't want anyone to know. Only Optimus and the ones who helped Wheeljack with us and the Aerials' know—and me, and now you too. Defensor is aware of it as well, but, while it may become necessary, we don't want the others to know just yet. Leave telling the team to Ratchet."

"Okay…"

Aid hugs me close for a moment. "It'll be okay. We'll get through this. It might just be because he sparked, in which case, he could go back into remission after the sparkling comes."

"I-if n-not?"

"Then we'll handle it. We've got this, Mari."

I watch Aid pull out before turning and heading back into the med-bay. Ironhide looks better now—thank Primus—and the bin is sitting off to the side. "Sorry about that…"

"You're fine, Mari." He sighs softly. "Are you okay?"

I nod weakly, not trusting my voice on the matter. I step over and check the scanner. "Are you feeling any better?"

Ironhide nods. "I'm still feeling sick, but I don't think I'm gonna purge again."

"That's good…"

"I still expect to see you at four."

"I've got class at six, and I need at least 45 minutes to get ready."

"Then I won't keep you past five, all right?"

"That'll work." I glance back over the read-out. "But I think you'll need to be re-cleared first."

"Mari?"

I shake my head. "Ratch won't be happy…"

"What's wrong?"

I sigh heavily. "I did it again." I shake my head at his confused look. "I haven't quite learned how to control my fire yet, and we learned with Ratch that I can, through the inferno, create a second spark during a revival…well…it happened again, and you're carrying. Just cut back to low-grade for a while, and it should help with the nausea, but you'll have to be re-checked by Aid or Ratch before we can start my weapons training."

"It happened again?"

I glance over my shoulder at the voice, smiling at the same time as I fight to hold back tears. "Yeah… It happened again." I sigh softly. ~ _Ratch's up, Aid._ ~

~ _I'm almost back. How's Hide?_ ~

~ _I did it again…but he's starting to feel a little better, and I recommended low grade, so… But he needs to be cleared for my weapons training._ ~

~ _You did everything right, Mari. Have Ratchet clear and release him. I'm turning on our road now._ ~

"Ratch?" The yellow medic steps over. "He needs to be cleared for my weapons training, and released." I lay a hand on his arm lightly before stepping away.

He quickly clears Ironhide for "teaching _only_ " and sends him on his way, then hands me a cleaning cloth soaked in chemicals before moving to grab the bin 'Hide had been using. I start wiping down the berth quickly, glad to have something to take my mind off the moment. "Mariposa?" I turn to him, barely trusting my eyes not to give away that I _know_. "I will be all right." I close my eyes and turn away, only to have him lay a hand on my shoulder. "Calm down. It's okay." I look up at him. "I figured Aid had explained things to you." I nod, and give him a weak, watery smile. "There we go. That's what I wanted to see. Now, I need to see you and Aid in my office after we are done here." He looks around. "Where _is_ Aid?"

I can't keep the whimper out of my voice. "H-he went to K-KSI. H-he's almost h-home…"

"Mariposa…"

I finally give up, and wrap my arms around him as a tear rolls down my cheek. "I just lost my human mom a couple years ago… And… I-I can't watch you fade like that!"

"Easy… I still have a few years in me yet…"

Aid steps in with what looks like a paper bag in one hand—the kind pharmacies use for large orders. "Mari—" He smiles up at Ratchet. "How are you feeling?"

Ratchet sighs. "I think we need to go into my office for this… Aid?" He hands him the bin. "Dispose of this for me?" Aid nods. "Mariposa?" He waves for me to follow him, then turns to Aid. "Join us when you are finished."

"Yes, Sir."

* * *

Rather than sit on the other side of the desk, he takes the chair beside me, and takes my hands in his. "Mariposa… I assume First Aid told you about my condition?"

I nod weakly. "Wh-why didn't you tell me before?"

He sighs. "I believed there was no reason to…I had been in remission for so long…" He sighs heavily. "I have a deficiency, Mariposa, and it seems to have returned with a vengeance since I sparked."

"Cybertronium…" I'm barely keeping myself in check—and it's not even a meltdown this time!

"Yes." He sighs heavily. "Since we are living so closely at the moment, I will have to tell the team soon, but I would appreciate being allowed to tell them myself."

"A-Aid said th-that…" I blink, and a couple tears roll down my cheeks.

Ratchet reaches over and wipes them away with a thumb. "Mariposa, I am not dying _yet_. There will be a time for tears later on." He sighs. "There _must_ be a better time for this…but with everything that has happened _just_ this morning…I feel we must get this covered before things get worse."

"R-Ratch?"

"Hear me out, youngling." He sighs heavily. "I know you are young for our kind, but you are an adult by the standards set by those who raised you…" He squeezes my hands gently. "And if you wish to try having a relationship with me, even with what has happened… I am willing to try." I can barely nod. He squeezes my hands one more time before moving to the chair behind his desk and turning to the door at a soft knock. "Come in."

"Ratchet? Was there something you needed?" He holds out the bag. "Besides your meds, that is? You left them on the counter." I watch as he takes the bag and sets it on the desk before sliding a datapad across the desk to Aid. "Oh… Ratchet…" Aid sighs heavily. "Primus…" He moves to slide it back across the desk, only for Ratchet to push it toward me.

I pick it up with a sigh—it's his medical file. I skim over it, not wanting to pay too close attention to his private files, but take note of the section on his deficiency—his current levels are so low they're almost non-existent. "C-could that have been from KSI too, though? I mean, they were melting Autobot frames for a while there, and…he may have taken some from you before… They _were_ melting you in the movie…"

"That wouldn't affect the levels in his _energon_ , Mari…"

I all but wilt in the chair. "Ratch…"

"My levels were worse than that the last time I went into remission, Mari. I will get through this." He smiles. "I have something to fight for this time."

I blush—something Aid catches quickly—almost like he's channeling Streetwise. "Mari?"

I smile over at him. "I got my answer…"

"Oh?" He glances between Ratchet and I for a moment. "I assume it was a 'yes'?" I nod. "That's great, Mari!" He sighs heavily. "We need to get up to the house. You have some news for the others, I need to get some med-grade to Spot, and someone needs to be there for Fixit." He turns to Ratchet with a stern look. "And you'd _better not_ skip this time. I don't want to see my little girl hurt because you won't take care of yourself."

Ratchet chuckles. "I will, Aid. Now go on. We have to open the med bay in a couple hours, and Mari needs to calm down before then."

"Yes, Sir."

I nod, and hold up my hand in the "I love you" sign in American Sign Language as we leave the office.

* * *

 **8:00 AM**

"Mari? You okay?" I nod, but move closer to Spot before clinging to him. "What's wrong?" I finally let myself cry into the fire-bot's chest. "Hey… _Hey_ … It's okay…" He looks over to Aid curiously. "What happened out there?"

Aid sighs, his professional façade quickly falling away as tears come to his eyes. Spot pulls him closer, moving me over some so he has room to hold both of us. "It's back…"

Spot leans Aid back slightly. "Ratchet?" Aid nods. "Oh, Aid…"

"What's back?" Fixit's eyes widen when he catches on. "Who's sick?"

Streetwise sighs heavily before moving over to the three of us. "Ratchet…"

Groove sighs sadly. "It's not our place to tell, Fixit… You'll find out soon enough…"

Blades shakes his head. "And right after Mari told him how she felt…" He sighs before pulling me away from Spot, and holds me close for a moment. "I'm sorry about this, Mari… No one should have to go through this…"

"Blades…" I blink before looking up to him with a watery smile. "He's in… We're going to at least try…"

Blades sighs. "That's going to be even harder, Mari…"

"I know…" I straighten up and stand to my full height.

Life's not the breaths you take  
The breathing in and out  
That gets you through the day  
Ain't what it's all about  
You just might miss the point  
Trying to win the race  
Life's not the breaths you take  
But the moments that take  
Your breath away…

"Mari…"

I sigh softly. "I know, that this won't be easy, but I'll never turn my back on him…" I glance back toward the door. "On anyone who needs me… Because that's what love does—it stays…" I lay a hand over my chest. "Love doesn't run when things get hard, and I won't leave him." I start for the stairs. "We've got two hours until we have to open the med-bay. I'll be in my room if anyone needs me."

Spot sighs, and rests a hand on my shoulder. "All right. We'll be right here when you need us."

"Thank you…" I slip away from the group, and force myself to walk up the stairs and into the room I'd share with Fixit if I wasn't part of Defensor. I close the door as normally as I can, shift down to human form, and walk over to the bed. I grab my stuffed dog—it was a gift from Mam when I was nine—and my fleece blanket—Mom bought the kit for me a year before she'd died from kidney failure—and slip into the closet before crawling under an old card table—I'd stapled old fleece blankets to it, and made myself a "hidey-hole" for when I couldn't handle something anymore, because I don't want to bother the others all the time, but this is the first time I've really _needed_ it. I settle in with my phone, and open a picture of Ratchet before starting to cry—just seeing him hurts…

* * *

 **Main Base, Optimus' office, third POV**

Optimus looks up at a knock on the door. " _Optimus?_ "

"Ratchet? Come in."

The medic steps inside and sighs as he settles into the chair opposite the Prime. "I…" He shifts, and fidgets with a few scattered paper clips. "I relapsed…it… It could be because I am carrying, but I…I cannot be certain…"

"Should I… Do you want me to tell the others?"

Ratchet sighs before nodding. "Please? I am not sure I have the strength…"

Optimus nods. "Try to rest. I will have First Aid open the medical bay."

"Thank you…"

Optimus watches Ratchet leave, then reaches up to his comm. "Prowl?"

" _Sir?_ "

"It's time…for that announcement…"

" _The one about…Ratchet?_ "

"Yes…"

" _Mariposa did not cure him?_ "

"Apparently not…"

" _Could she?_ "

"We don't know… Ratchet didn't seem hopeful…"

" _Did he not mention it to her? She could be his only hope…_ "

"Prowl, she is special needs—"

" _I am aware of that._ "

"Almost _exactly_ like your logic glitch. I doubt Ratchet would have piled that much on her… He'd never want to risk a crash…"

" _I will send out the announcement…over comms, I assume?_ "

"In person would be better…but I assume you are as pained as I am over this…"

* * *

 **Prowl's Office, Third POV**

"Yes, Sir…" Prowl sighs before resting a hand on his forehead. This isn't going to be easy… "Attention, Autobot crew. It has been brought to our attention that one of our own…our CMO…has a possibly terminal ailment… We request that visits to the med-bay be strictly for emergent cases until further notice. There will be a medic available at the Protectobots' base in case of minor damage."

hhh

 **House, third PoV**

"She's not okay, Spot."

Hot Spot sighs. "I know, Street, but we have to let her work through this herself."

Groove sighs heavily. "You're sure? She did come here to get killed…"

Spot sighs. "She'll be okay, Groove. She's still in the bond, she's just— _Ugh_ , hold on." He reaches up to his comm. "Yeah?"

" _Did you get the announcement from Prowl?_ "

"I got it from Aid…this morning…"

" _Flight's a mess…how are Aid and Mari?_ "

"Aid's…okay, we've been through this before… But Mari's taking it hard…"

" _I'm here if you need to talk…_ "

"Thanks…" Spot sighs heavily before turning back to the others. "Leave her alone for now, and don't crowd her. If you think you need to check on her, keep it quiet. Remember what happened when Aid was overloaded." They nod. "I'm going to see Silver. Let me know when she comes out. Aid, I know you'll need to help Ratchet—"

"I'm running med-bay today, actually. Ratch is taking the day off…" Spot raises an eyebrow ridge. "Optimus commed me."

"All right then. Call Mari off for the morning. If… _when_ …she comes out, she can decide if she's able to work the rest of the day. And don't…don't hover over her, all right? Street, Groove, you're late for City patrol. Let dispatch know we've got a family emergency, and that we will be unavailable for _anything_ _but_ a Mass Cass. First Aid, keep an optic on Ratchet. Blades, you've got Fixit and Jasper—and make sure Miko doesn't hurt Jasper. She's just a baby."

"I've got it, Spot. I can take care of a kitten, and Fixit's great with the cats."

"And _let Mari be_ , Blades. I know the two of you are close, but she just needs some time to process everything."

"I know…"

* * *

 **Main base, third POV**

Hot Spot sighs as he knocks on the door. "Silver?"

Air Raid pulls the door open with a sigh. "Hey. He's busy with Flight right now…"

"I know… How are you taking this?"

Raid shakes his head. "I don't know what to think… Didn't Mari just revive him? It should have…"

Spot sighs heavily. "We don't even know if that would work, Raid, and she's never healed anything more than battle damage before…"

"Hot Spot?" Silverbolt steps over quickly before pulling the fire-bot in for a hug. "Are you okay?" Spot shakes his head. "Raid, take the others down to the rec-room, and for Primus' sake, _don't_ _fight_ with Flight, and _don't_ let Slings pick a fight with him _either_." He turns back once they're gone to find Hot Spot in tears, and sighs before pulling him closer. "Hey…it'll be okay. I'm right here. We can get through this…"


	32. Searching for a Cure

**I only own my OC's!**

* * *

 **Searching for a Cure**

 **my room, normal POv, 8:30 AM**

I sigh and shake my head before slipping out of the little "tent". Now that I've calmed down—for now, because accepting this is going to take quite a bit longer than accepting Mom's disease did—I can try to find a solution. The problem is, all my office stuff is downstairs, and I don't want to face the others yet.

I gasp, and lay my hand over my chest at what feels like a wave of sadness. "Spot… They need me…" I sigh softly, but rather than reach out to the spark-broken commander, or even one of the others, I reach through the symbiote bond to Fixit. ~ _Fixie? You okay, Little One?_ ~

~ **Y-yeah… Are you?** ~

~ _I am now, but Spot's breaking down… And I'd like to speak with Ratchet, but I don't want to cry in front of him…_ ~

~ _ **First off, don't worry about that.**_ ~

~Spot's already doing that with us. Ratchet won't get mad because you're hurting.~

~ **Wait…** ~

~ _Hey! You made it, Fix!_ ~

~ **I did!** ~

~ _Anyway… Streets…you were saying?_ ~

~Don't worry about crying in front of anyone, Mari. We're all here for you, and I promise you, Ratchet won't get mad.~

~ **I think he's just as upset and scared as the rest of us…** ~

~ _Aid… Do you know what the Inferno is capable of?_ ~

~ _Sorry, Sweetspark… I think that would be a question for Optimus…_ ~

~ _Then I'm going over there…keep an eye on Fix for me?_ ~

~ **I don't need—** ~ Fixit huffs. ~ **I'm just carrying, Mari. I don't need someone to keep an optic on me all the time…** ~ He sighs. ~ **I know you're worried, and I'm sure part of it is because you can't really hover over Ratchet right now, but I'm getting stronger now, and I'm fine.** ~

~ _You're not feeling sick right now?_ ~

~ **Actually… It's worse in the evenings, so not really…** ~

~ _All right, I'll back off…but you're still too small to reach the energon dispenser, so we'll still have to help you._ ~

~ **I know…** ~ He sighs. ~ **I wanna come too.** ~

I smile. ~ _Okay then…get your coat. It's cold out._ ~

* * *

 **Main Base, Third POV**

Hot Spot sighs heavily as he wipes the tears off his face. "Sorry about that…"

"Don't be… You know I've done that before myself, and you're carrying, so you have an excuse."

"He wasn't even around us as much before Aid…" He wipes another tear away, but this time just laughs at himself. "I don't know why it's getting to me…Aid and Mari are hurting more than the rest of us combined, so…"

"Mood swings and the gestalt bond." Spot gives him a confused look. "Wheeljack had more time to explain carrying to Flight and I."

"Aid didn't struggle like this…"

"But Ratchet had just gone into remission then… He didn't really have a reason to…" He sighs, and lays a hand on his knee. "How are _you_ handling this? I know Mari and Aid are struggling with it, but what about _you_?"

Spot sighs. "It still feels…unreal… He's always been there, and now…"

"He's still here, Spot…"

"I know…" He smiles slightly. "Mari's rallied…"

"What?"

Spot sighs. "Mari took off and hid a few minutes before you commed. She only does that when she's really upset—we've been assuming it's part of her disability, so we're trying to give her some space to calm down before crowding her—because of what happened with Aid the first time we talked…"

"I remember…"

Spot smiles—for real this time. "Well, she's back in the bond now, and Fixit's with her!"

"With her? Like, in the same room, or…"

" _In the bond_!"

"Oh! That's…were you hoping he'd get there, or—"

"We'd been encouraging him to find it since Mari started forming the bond with him, and he found it!"

"That's great!"

"They're heading this way now…"

"To us, or…"

~ _ **Where's Mari going?**_ ~

~To talk with Optimus…about something with her Inferno…~

~ _ **I'd better be ready for her…just in case she doesn't get good news…**_ ~

~ _Spot?_ ~

~ _ **I'm all right, Aid. It just…hit me…that he might not make it through this…**_ ~

~ _We'll be all right—all of us… Don't worry about Mari. We'll have her…_ ~

"Is everything okay?"

"Mari's coming to talk with Optimus…about her Inferno…"

" _Oh_ … Is she hoping for a cure?"

"More than likely…"

"Ratch may not want that…"

"I know…"

* * *

 **Main Base, Normal POV**

Fixit and I step into the main base, both in bot form. "All right, Fixit. I'll need to walk this road alone…"

"I know. I'll be in the rec-room…"

I nod. "See if you can find Brains. He's a former-con, but he's a pretty nice mech…"

"Minicon?"

"Yep. Usually rooms with Bee…lost a friend back in the Chicago war…we think…"

"I'll try to find him…"

I nod, and turn before knocking on the door in front of me. "Sir?"

" _Come in._ "

I push the heavy metal door open before stepping into the office. "Hey…" He motions to a chair, and I sit. "Has Ratch…"

Optimus nods. "He asked us to announce it…" He sighs, his eyes turned down toward the desk and half-closed. "He's in his berth room, if you were looking for him…"

I shake my head. "I wanted to talk with you about the Blue Inferno…"

"Oh?"

I nod. "I learned the hard way that it can create a second spark when used in reviving…and I know that it can really hurt evil people…but…I don't know how much I can heal…"

Optimus smiles. "Then you are in the right place." He sets the Matrix on the table between us. "Do you know what this is?"

I nod. "It's the Matrix of Leadership. I saw in in the movies…"

Even though I know better, my hand inches over to touch it, and the Prime never flinches—at least, not until I catch myself and jerk my hand back. "Go ahead."

"B-but—"

"It has the Blue Inferno as well."

"Oh…" I run a finger over it gently, and smile at the blue glow in the center—it's the same color as my fire. "Wow…I never thought I'd get to see it…let alone…touch it…" I move my hand back. "Sir…"

" _Optimus_ , please. We're the same rank."

I nod. "Optimus… If I can cure death…" I sigh softly. "How much _can_ I heal? Would Ratch…" I take in a shaky breath. "Would it be too much…too hard…to try to heal Ratch with it?"

"Have you brought this up to Ratchet yet?"

I shake my head. "I didn't want to give him a false hope… I'm trying not to give _me_ a false hope…" I sigh heavily. "But I have to know, even if it's not what I want to hear…"

Optimus sighs heavily. "I am still not sure how much we can heal…and since mine is in the Matrix, I would not wish to risk harming the one I wanted to help…"

"I understand…" I rub my arm nervously before laying a hand on the Matrix—curved with it, but flat against the smooth metal. I've been studying on the original Primes, and I know a part of one could communicate with machines—alive or not—and I have to try it for myself—since I've done that with cars and whatnot before…

' _H-hey. I'm…I'm Mari…Mari Prime…_ '

' _ **Mari…**_ ' My eyes light up. It's working! ' _ **I am Primus. I have been watching you, youngling. What did you need?**_ '

' _I…I wanted to know…how much I can heal…with the Blue Inferno…_ '

' _ **Oh, youngling…**_ ' He seems to chuckle. ' _ **You need only to believe in yourself.**_ '

' _Cybertronium deficiency?_ '

' _ **Yes. But I would advise checking with the mech in question before trying anything. He may not appreciate someone wanting to "fix" him…**_ '

' _I know, Sir. I just wanted to know if it was possible before I gave him a false hope…_ ' I pause. ' _Um…I need to go…my minicon needs me, and…and I need to talk with Ratch…_ '

' _ **I will be here when you need my help again, youngling.**_ '

' _Thank you…_ '

"Did you get what you needed?"

I nod. "Thank you, Optimus. I needed that…" I sigh softly as he puts the Matrix away. "I need to speak with Ratchet. Do you know if he's awake?"

"I am afraid not, but you can check."

* * *

 **9:00 AM**

I tap on Ratchet's door lightly. " _What?_ "

"It's Mari…can I come in?"

" _Come on…_ "

I push the door open before stepping inside, and walk over to join him, sitting on his berth. "Hey… How you feeling?"

He groans. "Like slag, but that is morning sickness."

"Other than that?"

"I am all right…"

"Were you able to keep your meds down?" He shakes his head. "Do we have any injections?"

He gives me a surprised look—more than likely because I know about the injections—then sighs. "I asked Aid to get some…but he is dealing with something…"

I sigh heavily. "Spot had an emotional breakdown a few minutes ago…" I huff. "I've got a good standing with Joyce, but I don't know if he'd pass it off to me…"

"I _need_ it, Mari…"

"Then I'll go." I lay a hand on his. With him this sick, I don't even want to ask him about if he wants to find a cure—because even if he's _not_ too sick to try, I _might_ hurt the newspark in the process. "Do you have an extra berth?"

"What?"

I sigh softly. "We need to bring you into the house for a while, okay?"

"No…I-I don't…"

"Ratch…please? For me?"

He sighs. "All right." He shakes his head. "But… I do not need to be nursed _yet_ …"

"I know…" I hug him gently. "But you need someone to help you…just for a few months… I can help you if you move over there… Otherwise I'd have to move in with you, and…my brothers…"

"Mari… I need my Cybertronium…if not…to be with you…then for my sparkling…"

"I'm going, all right? I'll be right back." I run out the door and transform—for the first time—into an ambulance like Aid. I hit the sirens before tearing through the town to KSI.

* * *

 **KSI**

I transform and run into the back entrance. "Joshua!"

"Who are you?"

"Marianne! I need—"

" _You're_ Marianne?"

I nod, and shift down to human form. "I need Cybertronium… _the injections_."

"I got it!" He leaves for a moment before running back, dragging a large brown bag. "Is this all you need?"

I nod and reach for the bag. "Ratchet can't keep the pills down, and…I can't lose him again!"

He smiles gently. "You love him, don't you?"

"Y-yeah…"

"I wish you both the best…" He watches me transform before holding out the bag. "Take this, and go. He needs you."

"Thank you…"

"You're welcome, now _go_!"

I nod, and run out the door, transform, switch on the sirens, and race home.

* * *

 **Autobot Compound, main base, 10:00 AM**

I transform and step into the base, doing my best to not run back to Ratchet. "Hey, Mari. Where'd you go?"

"Hey, Fix. I had to get some meds for Ratchet."

"Oh…" He looks down, causing me to crouch to him.

"You know now…"

"Yeah…" He sighs. "Are you okay?"

I shrug. "Good as I can be, but I need to get back to him. Can you go tell Aid we need that last berth room upstairs cleared out? Ratch is going to stay with us for a little while."

"Sure…" He turns for the door before glancing back. "I'm here…if you need to talk…"

"Thanks, Little One." I straighten up and watch him leave before turning back toward the berth rooms. ~ _Groove, Streets… Blades…I need some help…_ ~

~ **What's wrong, Mari?** ~

~ _ **We heard you leave earlier…sounded like Aid racing to a bad call…**_ ~

~ _Ratch wasn't able to keep the pills down, and his levels are way too low right now, so…_ ~

~ _You went after the injections._ ~

~ _Right. He sent me, so…_ ~

~ _ **You okay?**_ ~

~ _Yeah… We're moving him into the house—we'll leave his room out here, but we're setting one up for him in that empty room next door to Aid._ ~

~ _That explains what Fixit just said to me…_ ~

I reach up and knock on Ratchet's door, my mind still with my brothers. ~ _Yeah. I sent him to tell you… Spot, you're not doing ANY heavy lifting while you're carrying, so I need those NOT cleaning out the room to help me with Ratchet's things._ ~

~ _ **Because he**_ **definitely** _ **doesn't need to be lifting stuff when you won't even let Spot…**_ ~

~ _Right._ ~

~We're on our way, Mari.~

I nod and turn to Ratchet, who had just opened the door. "I'm back… How are you feeling?"

"Like I am going to get really tired of that question before this _day_ ends…"

"Sorry…" I sigh softly and hold up the bag. "I got the injections…"

"Thank you." He lets me in, and sighs as he settles on his berth. "When are you moving me over to the house?"

I sigh heavily. "Groove, Streets, and Blades are going to be over in a minute to help, and Aid's working on the room right now—not that it was dirty or anything, but it still needed cleaned before you come over."

"I hope you told Hot Spot that he is not allowed to help."

"Yep. No heavy lifting for the carriers—and that includes _you_." I sigh before laying a hand on his. "But I'll do my best not to help you too much. I just went through having to take care of my mother, so I may be a little too…used to helping… But please don't hit me…"

"I would not hit you for trying to help."

"Yeah. You'd just yell…"

"Mari…" He sighs heavily. "I know I have a temper, and I am certain I will not make a good patient—I never _did_ —but I would never hit a newspark for trying to help. The Aerialbots got hit only because they were idiots."

I laugh. "Okay, _now_ you sound like House…"

" _Who_?"

I shake my head. I can't believe no one told this medic about House MD. "I'll see if I can't find some reruns on the DVR while you're getting settled in…"

"So it's a TV show…"

I nod. "An old one Aid, Streets, and I watch. Sometimes Spot, Groove, and Blades will join us, but it's usually just the three of us. It's about diagnostics and a hyper-aware, cynical doc… You're not cynical…well…ya kinda are, but not as bad as he is…by a long shot…"

He sighs heavily. "War is hell, Mari. If you knew half of what I have seen…"

"I know." I lay my hand on his knee. "I know. Just some of the stories from Spot…proved that to me…and the movies—and that was just on Earth…I'm sure Cybertron was much worse…"

"It _was_." Groove lays a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?"

Ratchet scowls, causing me to squeeze his hand gently. "He's talking to me, Ratch…" I nod weakly. "I'll be fine, Groove, all right? Just…just let me work through this myself. I've done this before, and I didn't really even have Claire then…" I sigh. "Well, I did, but we weren't able to see each other as often as I'd liked… I was a fired EMT at that point…and she was still in school…"

Groove nods. "So…are we ready to move?"

I nod, and Ratchet and I stand. I direct the three to what needs to go, and Ratchet directs them to what he wants over there.


	33. My New Normal

I have a poll on my profile page asking a question I really want to have answered. I'm trying to get as many answers as I can, and very few people visit my profile. I've gotten literally one answer in a week, and that's sad. Please answer, and be honest about it.

* * *

 **I only own my OC's!**

* * *

 **My New Normal**

 **10:30 AM**

It only takes half an hour to have his stuff set up in the new room, and I hang back to help Ratchet put a few things away. "You do not need to do this, Mari. I have it under control."

"I'm sure you do." I set a metal box on the bed. "But I want to help you."

He sighs, and nudges me aside before moving what looks like medications into the drawer of a metal nightstand Aid had found, not giving me the chance to read the labels. "Do you know where that chair came from?"

"I think _Aid_ , but I have _no idea_ where he found it."

"I will ask him." He sighs, and turns to leave. "Do not go through my medications. You are too young—"

I shake my head. "I _know_ …how bad this can get, Ratch…I'm not scared…" I sigh. "Okay, _that's_ a lie. I'm terrified, but…" I lay my hand on his arm. "But I can take it, so…so don't shut me out, okay?"

He sighs and nods before sitting on his berth. "Okay."

"Now… You still need to take your meds and get some rest, and I'll do my best to make sure the others—and the cats—don't bother you."

He looks up at me, surprised. "You really _do_ know…"

I nod. "Now, lay down." I watch as he does, then turn to undo the bag from Joyce and pull out a pre-measured dose of the medication. "I'll get this for today, but I'm sure you'd prefer to handle it on your own."

He nods, and watches me inject it before sighing. "You're a natural…"

I shrug. "I used to help Mom with her insulin…near the end… Got a lot of hands-on training before I ever met my brothers…"

"What…" He looks up at me. "What did she die of?"

I smile sadly. "End-stage kidney disease, liver failure, and a non-compliant diabetic…" I shrug, hiding the low-level emotional pain with a smile. "It's been almost two years now…and I had accepted it before she died, so…" I shrug. "I'd lost her emotionally months before that, anyway…"

"…How?"

I can tell he's barely staying awake now. "My biological human father threatened to drown me in a bucket of water, I ran. She made me go back home, my friend told me to call the cops if it happened again. _It_ did, _I_ did, they sent me back to my friend. Mom chose _him_ over me, even though _I_ was taking care of her…" I sigh, and sink into the yellow chair Aid put in his room. "I _did my best_ , it _wasn't much_. I _couldn't feel_ , so I _tried_ to _touch_. I _told the truth_ , I _didn't come_ to fool you. And even though _it all went wrong_ , I'll _stand_ before the _Lord of Song_ , with _nothing_ on my tongue but _hallelujah_ …" He sighs softly, but I can tell he's not completely out yet.

I've heard there was a secret chord  
That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
It goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall, the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you  
She tied you to a kitchen chair  
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before  
I know this room, I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you.  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
Love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

And maybe there's a God above  
But all I've ever learned from love  
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you  
And…it's not a cry you can hear at night  
It's not somebody who has seen the light  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much  
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch  
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you  
And even though it all went wrong  
I'll stand before the Lord of Song  
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

I glance over the now-recharging medic before pulling a pale yellow blanket up over him. "Sleep well, Ratch…" I turn at a soft knock, and smile when I see Aid. "Hey." I hold a finger to my lips. "Shhh… Don't wake him…"

"I won't." He steps over to me and lays a hand on my shoulder. "How are you handling this?"

"I'm okay, Aid…"

"But…your mom…"

I huff and drag Aid out of the room, by his arm, as quietly as I can. "My mother chose my abuser before she died, Aid. As much as I miss her, I apparently—according to Aaron—have no right to claim her as my mother, so that's all there is to it. I _have_ no human mother, because the one you put me in gave me up, and the one who chose me died." I sigh heavily. "But I have _you_ now, and…and that's all I need."

"All right." He sighs. "Spot wants you in your office. I'll stay with him, if you're that worried…"

I shake my head. "He's fine for now." I start for the stairs. "And Aid?" I glance back to him. "Thank you…for supporting this. I may be young, but I'm strong. I can do this…"

"We're here, if you need us…" He sighs. "Groove told us what you told him earlier. Just…don't forget that we're here for you."

"I won't, Mom."

* * *

I sigh as I push my office door open. "Hot Spot?"

"Over here." He sighs. "I know we said we wouldn't come in without permission, but…"

"You're fine, Spot. What did you need?"

He sighs, and pulls me closer. "How are you handling this?"

"I'll be all right." I smile up at him gently, knowing he's struggling with this too. "It'll be all right, Spot. We're still all together."

"What did you find out in your talk with Optimus?"

"This is because of Prime?"

He shakes his head. "This is because you _disappeared_ in the bond, and it scared us."

"OH!" I sigh softly, trying not to giggle. "Spot…I was in the _Matrix_! I was talking with _Primus_ himself!"

"About…Ratchet?" I nod. "What did he say?"

I smile. "I-I have the cure, Spot…" A tear rolls down my cheek. "I have the cure… We can save him…"

"Oh, Mari…" He sighs softly. "But if he doesn't want it…"

"Then I'll let him go…" I sigh softly and look up to him. "Not in the way that I'm going to _dump him_ , but…I'll…I'll let him…" I whimper, and cling to Spot.

"I get it, Mari. I get it. Okay?" He runs a hand over my doorwings lightly. "I know it'll be hard, if it comes to that, but we'll be here for you."

"Thank you…" I sigh softly. "Fixit's out in the living room if you want to spend some time with him, or…"

"Where's Mom?"

"Aid's got to be in the med-bay, Mari…"  
"Then we'll be out there." I step out the door. "Fixit, time to go out to the med-bay."

"All right!" He slides out of his chair and heads to the door.

"Coat."

"Oops." He heads back to the chair and pulls it on before heading back to me. "You okay, Mari?"

I sigh heavily. "Yep."

"How's Ratchet?"

"Recharging. We'll be helping Aid."

"Okay!" He rushes after me. "What's wrong?"

"I found a cure."

"That's not wrong…When are you going to tell him?"

"I…I don't know, Bitty…" I sigh again, heavier this time. "I don't know what he'll think, Fixit…and I don't want him to think _I think_ he needs fixed…because he's fine the way he is, but…if he wants to live…"

"Didn't he say he was glad you brought him back?"

"Well…yeah…"

"Then just tell him you have one, and see what he does. He can't do any worse than say "no", and at least you would have _tried_ …"

"I'd have to wait until he wakes up, Fixie…"

"Just don't forget."

"I won't." I step into the med-bay, and hang Fixit's coat up before stepping over to Aid. "Need any help?"

"Mari…you're off for the morning, Sweetspark…"

"And if I stay in that house, I'll go NUTS. I can't even focus on my writing…now that I know…" I grab his hand as gently as I can. "Mom… _I have the cure_."

"And you're freaking out because of that?! That's _great news_ , Mari! Are you sure it'll work?"

"Optimus had me check in the Matrix, Aid! Of course I'm sure!"

"And if Ratchet doesn't want it?"

"Then I won't use it."

He sighs softly. "Why haven't you told Ratchet yet?"

"Because…I don't want to upset him, and…and it might not be safe while he's sparked…"

"Not until the newspark transfers at the very least, but I'd advise waiting until it's born."

"Oh…" I look down.

Aid sighs and lifts my chin. "Hey. It'll be all right. We're all here for you—especially Spot and I, and, as soon as we can get her here, you'll have 'Star too."

"Thanks, Mom…" I hug him before turning to look around the empty room. "Prowl ordered them to give us peace, _didn't he_?"

"He assumed Ratchet would be reporting to duty, so yes." He reaches up to his comm. "Attention Autobots: This is First Aid. I will take over the med-bay when Ratchet can't, so you are allowed access to the med-bay."

" _First Aid…_ "

"Prowl, I need something to do, and I refuse to sit around the house waiting for an EMS call and thinking about my missing daughter and Ratchet's condition. Mari and I _need_ to work."

" _The message I gave this morning was barely changed from the last time he relapsed, First Aid. I know you are under a lot of stress at the moment, Hot Spot is carrying, and you_ do _still have the damage from when you were a sparkling. I had assumed you would appreciate a break, and that Mari would be at the house and able to repair minor injuries…but I see now that I was wrong._ "

"Mari has nerve damage too, Prowl, and she's still right here with me. We're on full open status."

" _Thank you, First Aid._ "

"There. Now we'll actually get some work."

"Actually…" I sigh softly. "We'll probably be over-run, if I know Sideswipe, so…" I sigh softly. "I'll go get us an early lunch, and make sure Spot and Streets get theirs, then I'll be back."

"Thank you, Mari." He sighs before handing me a pinkish cube. "Take this up and set it on that table by Ratchet's bed, but don't wake him up."

"Spot…"

"Will be able to have low-grade, so long as he's not nauseated by it. If he needs it, he'll have to let us know, because—"

"Hey, Aid!"

"Of that." Aid sighs heavily, and starts over to the silver corvette, who looks like he just had a run-in with Ravage and lost. "Sides, what happened?"

He shrugs. "Sparring with Sunny…then I made him mad."

I shake my head. "That was a _very bad idea_."

"You're telling me." He sighs. "Prowl said it wasn't bad enough to bother you guys, but then Aid sent out the comm, so… Here I am!"

"Take that in, and come back." He checks the time. "And bring another cube for Sides while you're at it."

"M'kay! Fix, stay here with Aid!"

"I need low grade!"

"I know, Bitty!" And with that, I'm out the door.

* * *

 **third POV**

Sideswipe rolls his eyes. "You're _sure_ she's _Flight's_ sparkling?"

"Yep."

"She's so much like Hot Spot."

"All of us, actually. She cares as much as I do, Sides…and she holds everything back… She's known around here for putting herself through a lot of stress…even though she doesn't fight…and she's really emotional… She's as hyper-aware as Street… and has a nomadic spirit—meaning she likes the open road like Groove does." He sighs. "She is _very_ flighty, though, Sides… _very flighty_." He chuckles gently. "Trust me, she's a mess some days…just a few weeks ago, she walked into a _door_ , and yesterday, she smacked her doorwing on _another_ door."

"A _door_?"

"Yes. A door. Had all five of us laughing our helms off… She was too though… So… She had a red mark on her head for an hour from how hard she hit it, too."

"Ouch."

* * *

 **normal POV**

"You tellin' him stories, Mom?"

"Mom? Oh, yeah…right…" Sideswipe nods. "Said you walked into a door."

I pretend to think for a moment before nodding. "That sounds about right… I also tripped up a step while I was hyper and spacy at the same time—broke my foot."

"Broke your foot?"

"Yep." I wave it in front of me and almost fall, realizing quickly that I'm still holding the four cubes. "Oops!" I set them down before I drop them, and wave it again. "This one."

" _Now_ I see it."

"See what?" I tilt my head to the side. "Did I get energon on myself?"

"No, Sweetspark." Aid sighs heavily. "Your sire."

"My sire?"

"Yes."

' _Aid and Flight had a fling a few years ago…_ ' I turn to them. "It's Flight, right?"

Sideswipe blinks. "Did _you_ tell her? Cause…I know _I_ didn't…"

"Streetwise told her we had a fling, but…I think she figured the rest out herself." I nod. "Anyway…" Sideswipe looks up to us from the berth. "Sides, we have to finish up here. Mari doesn't usually do medicine after lunch, and even though we're planning to be in here all day, she'll be allowed to get her computer after 1:30, and I need to change the battery in it this afternoon as well."

"So…"

"So she has to get in as much training as she can before then. After that, she has her weapons training with Ironhide, then her EMS class."

"Where's her…sister?"

Aid sighs. "She's still in Indiana—still underage. Mari's really been missing her…"

"I'm sure she has… I missed Sunny before he made it to Earth…"

I nod, then step over to join them, causing Aid to smile. "All right…get your welder, and we'll get started…"

* * *

 **That Night**

Aid steps over to where Spot is getting our cubes together. "Spot, I'll be eating with the Aerials tonight, so…"

Spot tilts his head to the side. "Spending the night with 'them'?"

Aid shrugs. "I don't know yet."

"Mari, could you open the microwave for me?" I tilt my head to the side. "For Fixit's energon. He's been cold all day, so I'm going to warm his up."

"Ah. Yes." I sigh softly as I help him carry the other cubes to the table. "Why are you worried about Aid?"

Spot chuckles. "I'm not worried, Mari… I'm just…nervous. The last time he did something like this…"

I smirk. "He wound up with me and Star, right?"

"Right. I'm already sparked, and so is Fixit. I don't know how we'd handle three bots in the bond with morning sickness…" Spot shakes his head. "But at the same time, I can't blame him for any of this…he's upset, and he wants that…connection, he had with him before…"

"It's just dinner, Spot…"

"It was "just dinner", then it was "just talking", then…"

"Then he was sparked." I shake my head.

"Yeah, so somewhere in there, they had to have 'faced."

I sigh softly. "Spot, he is an adult, we've had a crappy day, and he probably wants to forget it without having to turn to high-grade. In every medical drama I've watched, they had a hell of a day, they either found a _bottle_ , or they found the first _empty bed_ , and 'faced the slag out of someone…"

"Aid's not like that, Mari…"

I huff and cross my arms. "Then is he trying to give me more siblings to _lead_ or something?"

"Mari…" Spot sighs, and leans against the counter. "We all had a really hard time watching Ratchet the last time he relapsed… I can't even _describe_ how hard it was sometimes…but we made it through. Now…now we're going through that again, and I…I don't know _how_ we're going to get through this…but…"

I sigh heavily, and hug him tightly. "We'll get through this, Spot…"

"Even if Aid sparks?"

"Spot…" I shake my head. Someone seems to need a _slap to the face_ —you know, to make them see the _big picture_ —but I'm not that kind of person…so…

Sounds like life to me  
This ain't no fantasy…  
Just a common case of  
Everyday reality…  
And I know it's tough…  
But you gotta suck it up…  
To hear you talk,  
You're caught up in some tragedy…  
But…it sounds like life to me…

Spot sighs. "What?"

I shake my head. "It's a song—Country—about how one man is going through a lot of crap, and went down to a bar—he fell off the proverbial wagon because of it. So his wife asks his friend to find him, and when he does, the first man is telling him all his problems, and the friend tells him to suck it up, that it'll get better if he's patient…and when he tells the friend that his wife's menstrual cycle is late…"

"Oh, dear Primus…"

"The friend tells the bartender to give them a round to _celebrate_." I smile. "So… Ya gotta suck it up, Spot. It might not be easy, but we _will_ get through this." I smirk. "Even if Mom sparks too."

"We wouldn't have Defensor for a month…"

"Then we fall back on _Superion_ for a month! We _do_ have more than one combiner, after all!" I sigh heavily. "Sorry, Spot."

"You're fine…and right, if that even matters…" He sighs. "They're _bonded_ , but I haven't let on that I know for obvious reasons—Aid doesn't want anyone to know yet, after all…"

"And let me guess: you only learned of it by being combined."

Spot nods, smiling brightly. " _As usual_. At least I got you and Star out of it…"

* * *

 **Third POV**

Fireflight runs over from their table—just his and Aid's—in the rec-room, a smile on his face. "Hey, Aid! I already got our cubes!"

"Hey, Flight." He hugs him before sighing as he joins him at the table. "How are you handling the news?"

"About Ratchet?" Aid nods. "I-I can't believe it… I-I thought he'd be…okay…this time…"

"I know, but we can get through this." He smiles. "Mari figured it out…"

"Figured out…" His eyes light up. "That I'm their sire?"

"Yep!" Aid shakes his head. "She reminds me of you some days…"

"Like when she ran into that door?"

"Right…she'd forgotten it wasn't open… Then yesterday she smacked her doorwing on another one… and she almost dropped our lunch bringing it out to us because Sides asked about her foot…"

"And…what happened to her foot?"

"Tripped up a step…because she was goofing off…and wasn't focused… She broke it…nine years ago, and it still bothers her…"

"Primus…sounds like she really hurt herself, Aid… At least my injuries are usually easily repaired…"

"Her doorwing was, but…her foot has nerve damage…"

"And…her sister?"

"I only know what you guys know, Flight. No one's told me anything new, and I haven't gotten to meet her yet…"

"Has Spot found out…about _us_ yet?"

"Not that I know of…" He sighs. "But if we don't want Spot to know we're… _actually_ bonded…"

" _No secrets_ in a gestalt…and I _still_ don't understand how you could keep this secret… My brothers know, but I made sure they wouldn't tell anyone until we're ready…"

"He probably knows, but he hasn't talked with me about it yet, so…"

"How's Mari doing? I heard she was struggling earlier…"

"She found a _cure_ , Flight…"

He shakes his head slightly. "You Protectobots and your constant overachieving…" He laughs softly. "She'll fit right in with you guys…" He sighs and collects their empty cubes. "So…are you planning to stay over here, or…"

"It's up to you."

"Can you? You can stay with us…after…"

"Sure."

* * *

 **Normal POV**

Spot sighs, and clears away the cubes. "Guess Aid's staying out with Flight…"

"Aid is out with Fireflight?" I nod, and hand him a pill bottle. Thank you, Mari."

"You're welcome." I stand and boost Fixit down before sighing softly. "I'll be in my office…"

"All right. We'll let you know when we head up to bed."

Ratchet stands with a heavy sigh. "I think I will head up to my berth room with a book. Hot Spot?"

"Yeah?"

"I have some medications for morning sickness in my room. If you need any, just ask me first."

"All right…


	34. Aid's Sick

I have a poll on my profile page asking a question I really want to have answered. I'm trying to get as many answers as I can, and very few people visit my profile. I've gotten literally one answer in a week, and that's sad. Please answer, and be honest about it.

* * *

 **I only own my OC's!**

* * *

Aid's Sick

 **The next morning, 7:00 AM**

"Mari?"

I sigh heavily, and turn toward the voice. "Aid?"

"Hey, Sweetspark."

"Morning, Mom. How was your night with Dad?" I sit up from where I had been cuddled into Spot's chest—as usual. "Mom?"

"One, how did you know I wasn't with all of them, and two, how did you know I spent the night with him?"

"Spot and I do talk, Aid, and…" I smirk. "You just proved the last part."

"Oh…" He sighs and sinks to the berth.

"Mom?"

"I'm fine. I just…need to sit down."

" _Aid…_ "

"Yeah Ratch?"

" _'Jack's in med-bay… He's purging, and I don't know if I can handle it right now…_ "

"Mari and I can handle it…just…give us a moment to get breakfast…"

" _You don't sound like you're feeling good, Aid…_ "

"It's…probably just the feedback…from Spot and Fixit…I'm fine…" He sighs before standing, only to lay a hand on my shoulder.

"Mom, stay in here. I can handle Wheeljack…"

He shakes his head. "You're too untrained. We're both going."

I follow him downstairs, and get two cubes of low grade while he takes his seat. I huff softly before setting one in front of him, then setting mine down and sitting beside him. "This isn't feedback, or I would be sick too… What are your symptoms?"

He sighs, and lays his head on his arms, which are resting on the table. "I feel sick to my tanks, Mari…"

"I _figured_ _that_ when you blamed this on feedback." I slide his cube a little closer to him. "It's low grade, okay? If you think you'll purge _this_ , I can go get some med-grade."

"This is fine…thank you, Mari." He props his head up on a hand and slides the cube closer while mumbling. "Primus, I hope…"

"You hope what?"

He huffs. "It's not important right now, Mari…but…" He sighs heavily. "I spent the night with your sire, as you found out earlier, so…I'll leave you to figure out what "I hope"." He sips from the cube before sighing again. "I don't have the time to carry again right now…not with Ratchet sick…"

"Mom…you have me…" I lay a hand on his head. "And I don't think this is because you might be sparked… _again_ …" I shake my head. "Aid, _you're_ _burning up_ …"

He sighs. "I don't have the _time_ to…" He trails off and groans. " _Get_ _sick_ either…"

"Aid?"

He shoves the cube back and runs back to the bathroom before shutting the door. "Shit…" I sigh heavily and knock on the door. "I'm going to check on 'Jack, then I'll be back in, okay?"

" _Yeah…_ "

"Want me to get Ratchet?"

" _No…_ " I cringe when I hear the sound of purging through the door. " _Just get me some med-grade, a nausea tablet, and a fever reducer. I can't miss work. I'm the only trained medic right now…_ "

"Easy, Mom… Do you want me to get anything else?"

He sighs heavily. " _Just in case…get me one of the carrier tests. I showed you where they were…_ " I sigh at the sound of another retch on the other side. I'm starting to get worried now. " _Last week._ "

"Do you want Spot?"

" _Yes… But I don't want him getting sick…_ "

"He probably wouldn't mind it, Aid… I sure don't…"

" _Get Spot first…please?_ "

"Of course." I run up the stairs to find the others just starting to get up. "Spot!"

"Mari, what's…" He sighs. "Where's Aid? Med-bay, or—"

"Downstairs bathroom. He's sick, Spot—like, running a fever and everything!"

"Calm down, Mari. I've got this."

"I need to get what he asked for from the med-bay, and then I need to check on Wheeljack…"

Spot sighs heavily. "I'm not fully trained, but I've learned enough from watching Aid…that if you need any help, call me. Where's Ratchet?"

"Not feeling good…I think he's still in bed…"

"Okay, then. We'll be alone in this, and—" I watch as he swallows hard before rushing out the door, toward the upstairs bathroom, with me in pursuit. "I think we'll need Silver. Get _him_ , then get what Aid needs, and…get Flight to stay with Aid."

"Yes, Sir." I run out of the upstairs bathroom, out the back door, and into the base before rushing back to the Aerials' door. "Silver!"

"Mari? What's wrong?"

"Aid's _sick_ , Spot's _purging_ , and we need help!"

Silver lays a hand on my shoulder. "Calm down, we're on our way. Flight, let's go! Spot and Aid need us!"

"Coming!"

* * *

I dart into the med-bay and start rummaging through the drawers. I find the medications quickly, but it takes me a moment to find the test—the exam room itself was out, so I had to find them in the store-room. Once I do, I quickly grab a cube of med-grade, then run as quickly as I can back to the door. "Mari? What's wrong?"

I sigh heavily, and duck back into the store-room after another carrier test. "Take this, and bring it up to the house when you're done. Aid's sick, Spot's purging, Ratchet's not feeling good, I don't know about the others, Silver and Flight are on their way, and I'm losing my mind."

"Oh, crap." He hops off the table with his own bin. "I'll be over in a minute, Mari!"

"Thanks!"

* * *

I run into the house to see Spot sitting on the coffee table across from the couch, Aid laying on the couch, and the others—including Silver and Flight—standing around Aid. "I'm back…"

"Did you get the meds?"

I nod, and pass them over with the med-grade, keeping the test concealed for the moment. "Aid?" He sits up a bit and takes the pills before turning to me. I point to the bathroom, causing him to sigh and stand. "I'm coming, Sweetspark…"

"Mari…"

~ _Carrier test…just in case… I spent last night with Flight…_ ~

Spot's eyes widen. " _Oh_ …so…" He nods, and lays a hand on his shoulder. ~ _ **Let us know, all right?**_ ~

~ _I will…_ ~ He sighs, and follows me into the bathroom, where I hand him the test.

~ _ **Wheeljack's here.**_ ~

~ _Let him in, Spot…_ ~ Aid sighs and sets the test on the counter. ~ _I'm on my way out…_ ~

~ _ **The test?**_ ~

~ **Test?** ~

~ _Carrier test, Fixit…_ ~

~ **What?** ~

~ _Yep…_ ~ We step out, and Wheeljack slips me his own before stepping over to check on Aid and Spot. Meanwhile, I look down at the one in my hand. ~ _Whelp…we'll be swimming in sparklings…_ ~

~ _ **What?**_ ~

~ _Yours, Fixit's,_ Wheeljack's _, Ironhide's, Ratchet's… And_ Aid _might be carrying…_ ~ I sigh and turn to Wheeljack with a nod, causing him to grin.

"It's just a virus, Wheeljack. I'll be fine…"

"What is going on in here?"

"Morning, Ratchet…"

He sighs, and shakes his head. "I do not feel good, and I have a helm-ache, so if you could _try_ to keep it down, I would be very grateful."

"Okay…" I sigh softly. "Aid's sick. He's got a fever and nausea. Spot started purging again, but I think it's just feedback from First Aid. Also, we just learned that Wheeljack is sparked, and we're waiting on another test…"

"For _Wheeljack_?"

Aid, who has been hovering around the door to the bathroom, ducks back inside so quick I'm scared it's because of his nausea. A moment later, he steps out, reading his. "For me… Flight…" The Aerialbot's head pops up suddenly. "I'm…I'm sparked again…"

Ratchet stares at him for a moment before swiping the test from the younger medic. "Primus…" He sighs, and rests the back of his hand on Aid's forehead. "Berth, _now_."

"But…the med-bay…"

"I know. I can handle it for a few hours, and Mari's a good assist. You need to _rest_ before you get _worse_. I'd bring you out to the med-bay so I could observe you, but you would only try to work if I did, so _get to berth_."

"All right…" He sighs heavily. "I'm going… Spot…"

"I'm coming up with you, okay? I'll help you get settled."

"I will send Mari in with some more fever medicine, but if he gets any worse, send him out."

"All right. Thank you, Ratchet."

* * *

"Mari?"

"Yeah, Ratch?"

He hands me the pill bottle. "Take this in to your Carrier, then come back. I'm going to be setting up appointments for the carriers' exams next week, and I'll need a little time to myself."

"Yes, Sir."

"You'll be alone in the main med-bay until I'm done. If it gets too hard for you to handle, come get me."

"Yes, Sir." I watch him leave, then huff as I look around the room. There's _nothing to do_. ~ _Tell him, Mari_ ~

~ _Rest, Mom._ ~ I huff over the bond. ~ _I'll do it, all right? But you need to rest for me. I need you._ ~

~ _All right, I'll try to recharge. Let me know if you need me…_ ~

~ _Yes, Sir. I'll be in with the meds from Ratch when I'm done._ ~

~ _Thank you, Sweetspark._ ~

I sigh before starting for the office door. "Ratchet?"

" _I thought I said I needed time to myself._ "

"Ratch…" I sigh softly. "I need to talk with you…as a medic…not as a student…"

" _Come in._ " I push the door open before stepping inside. "What is it?"

I sigh heavily and settle into the chair across from him. This isn't easy—I'm terrified of his reaction—but I have to say this without showing that fear. "Sir… Optimus and I… We found a cure."

His eyes widen. "A cure?"

"Yes, Sir. I went into the Matrix to make sure of it. I've got a cure."

He gives me a confused look. "For my deficiency?" I nod. "Primus…" He leans back in his chair with a heavy sigh.

"Sir?"

He gives me a watery smile. "They said there was no way to cure it… A-are you sure?"

I nod. "Aid said I needed to wait until your sparklets transfer at the earliest, but I do have a cure."

His eyes widen in surprise. "Your fire. It's the inferno."

"Yep."

He sighs heavily. "I guess I can wait that long. I'll be more than ready by that point."

"And Ratch?" He looks up to me. "Thanks…for giving me a chance…"

"You are quite welcome." He sighs. "Did you take that medication to your Carrier yet?"

I shake my head. "He wanted me to talk with you about that first."

"Okay." He nods. "Take the medication to him, then get back out here. I will need your help until we are able to use the cure."

"And even then, you'll need help because you're carrying."

"Right."

"All right. I'm taking the meds into Mom now. I'll be back in five, then I'll handle whoever comes in."

"Thank you, Mari."

* * *

I leave his office and head inside to give Spot the meds before returning to the med-bay with Ratchet. He's starting to sort things on the counter and restock the supplies now. "Ratch?"

"Hey, Mari."

"Anything I can do?"

"Mari…"

"I'm serious." I huff when he glares at me. "Ratch, I can't just stand around and watch you restock. Now tell me something to do so I'm not just standing here looking frazzled."

"Looking frazzled?" He turns to me. "You look like the picture of calm." He smiles. "Not to mention a very pretty femme."

I sigh heavily. "Okay, _feeling_ frazzled, and _thank you_."

"Why are you feeling frazzled?"

I huff. "Why _aren't_ I feeling frazzled…" I sigh heavily. "Ratch, Mom's sick _and_ sparked, Spot's sparked, Fixit's sparked, _you're_ sparked, Hide and Jack are both sparked, and I'm only one person. While you and Mom may be able to help, you'll be full term, and so will Mom…not to mention you're at risk for complications because of your deficiency. Fixit's high risk… My sister is still in Indiana, and I can barely hear her, let alone feel her… I'm a fragged Prime and I don't know if I can fill Prime's shoes if the need arises…not to mention that I don't want to be a commander in the _first place_!" I groan. "And I really shouldn't be burdening you with all this, but Mom's sick and the others are busy with him, and even if he is my Dad, I can't go to Flight because haven't really _talked_ this stuff over with the Aerials before."

"You are panicking."

" _No shit Sherlock._ " I huff, and stare at the cabinets behind his head. "Besides… _I love you_ , and I could _lose_ you…and I'm not ready for that, Doc. I'm not ready to lose you…not after I just saved you…and I'm still…I just…" I turn away moments before a sob breaks out. I really don't want to cry around him—especially not when it's over him.

I turn back to him when I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Hey. I _will_ get through this, Mari. I may be sick, but I am still reasonably healthy, and I will survive this. People with a worse version of this have carried safely before. I would know, because I oversaw the cases personally before the war."

"Ratch…"

"I know… It is… _different_ …when it is someone you love."

"Ratch?"

"Mari…this… It is genetic."

"Oh… P-parent, or…" ' _Or kid?_ '

"I never even got to meet her…"

I know what that means—he'd lost a carriage, just like Fixit had. "Oh, _Ratch_ …"

"Don't… Mari, _please_ …"

"How far?"

He sighs, and glances away. "Half-way. Made it past transfer, only to fade out within a month…"

I sigh, and step over before hugging him gently. "It'll be all right, Ratch. You can get through it this time—and you won't be alone no matter what happens with this one." I smile up at him and rest a hand on his shoulder before taking his hand in my free one. "I won't let you go."

It hurts my heart  
To see you cry  
I know it's dark  
This part of life  
Oh, it finds us all  
And we're too small  
To stop the rain  
Oh, but when it rains

I will stand by you  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
And you can't cope  
I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight  
And I won't let go

"Mari?" I look up to find Blades and Hot Spot in the doorway. "Is everything okay out here? Aid was worried you were getting upset again…"

Ratchet and I share a look. "We'll be all right."

Blades steps over and lays a hand on my shoulder. "Mari…"

"We're both getting upset out here, actually, but we'll be all right Spot."

"Both?"

"I'm frazzled and freaking out, and he's… _scared_ …but we'll get through this, Blades. We're strong, and I'm not turning my back on him no matter what."

"Good." Spot sighs. "You both need someone like that."

I smirk. "Like you and Silver?"

Spot nods, laughing. "Or Aid and Flight…Optimus and Elita… Hide and Chromia…Jazz and Prowl…"

"I think she gets it, Spot." Blades sighs and pulls him back toward the door. "We need to get back to Aid, and I think we interrupted a moment."

"Sorry…"

"You're fine, Spot…" Ratchet and I turn to each other and laugh softly once they're gone. " _Siblings_ …"

" _Gestalts_ …"

We start laughing again, for we'd said that at the same time. Once I finally calm down, I turn back to Ratchet with a smile. "Better get used to it, Ratch. You're dating part of one."

"And I don't think I'd go back…for anything…"


	35. The Bond Comes Active

I have a poll on my profile page asking a question I really want to have answered. I'm trying to get as many answers as I can, and very few people visit my profile. I've gotten literally one answer in a week, and that's sad. Please answer, and be honest about it.

* * *

 **I only own my OC's!**

* * *

The Bond Comes Active

I gasp at a sudden feeling in my chest that's not unlike the feeling I get docking Fixit, causing Ratchet to turn to me worriedly. He finds me with my hand over my chest. "Mariposa?"

I shake my head slightly. ~ _St-Star?_ ~

~Shey? What the heck? And why did you call me Star?~

I giggle through the bond as a hand lands on my shoulder lightly. I ignore the hand for now. ~ _That's your designation, remember, Brightstar? From Four-Square during the thing with Faith?_ ~

~Oh… Yeah…~ A heavy sigh over the bond. ~Anyway, what the heck just happened?~

"Mariposa?"

~ _Oh, my God. I've got so much to tell you!_ ~ I sigh, not even noticing the tears rolling down my face. ~ _Star… Our Carrier is First Aid, our Sire is Fireflight, Spot's playing double-duty as brother and uncle, and so are the others. Ratchet's sick, but we're dating anyway—_ ~

~Back up. What?~

"Mariposa!"

~ _We're fully Cybertronian. We were placed into human mothers and separated to keep us from the 'Cons. Our real Mom is First Aid. Our real Dad is Fireflight from the Aerialbots. Hot Spot is doing double-duty by acting as a big brother for the two of us, and he's also our uncle—all eight of them are._ ~

~Eight?~

~ _Fireflight and Aid are our parents, and each one has four siblings because they're both gestalt._ ~

~Okay. Got it. Now… Ratchet?~

~ _Ratchet's got a Cybertronium deficiency, but he's getting through it all right for now. We're dating, because even though we're only like 6 orns, our sparks are 25 Earth-years, so it's technically allowed. Star…we're going to be big sisters. We just found out this morning._ ~

~I've never been a big sister before…~

~ _Welcome to the club, then. Sometimes, it sucks, but other times, it's amazing._ ~

~I…I just hope we don't fight anymore…~

" _Mariposa_!" I hear a door open, but ignore it for now. "Hot Spot, thank Primus, I don't—"

"Mariposa?"

~ _My sentiments exactly._ ~

Hot Spot lifts my chin to where I'm looking into his eyes.

~ _I've gotta go. Spot's worried._ ~ I send her a wave of love. ~ _But remember, I'll always be right here for you. …They say have courage…And I'm trying to…I'm right out here for you…just let me in…We only have each other…It's just you and me…What are we gonna do…_ ~

~Wait!~

~ _What is it? He's worried, Star…and I think Ratchet's scared…_ ~

~Mom said I can come for Spring Break! I'll be there on the 14th!"

~ _Yes! I'll see you then!_ ~

"Mari, what's wrong?"

"Huh?" I reach up and feel my face. "Oh!" I laugh at myself for crying over Claire _again_. "Bond came active…"

"Bond came— _Oh, Primus!_ Mari, we've got to let Aid know!" He turns to Ratchet. "Can you manage without her for a few minutes?"

Ratchet looks at my unfocused look. "She'll be out of it for the rest of the day after that anyway. I've got this. I'll call her out if I need help."

"All right." He puts an arm around me. "Come on, Little Sis."

* * *

 **Inside**

We step into Aid's room—it's between Ratchet's and Blades'—as quietly as we can. "Aid? You awake?"

"Mmm?" He shifts before rolling to face the room. "Spot? Ratch need me?"

"M-Mom?"

He sits up and turns to me before giving me a weak smile. "Mari? What's wrong, Sweetspark?" He pats the side of the bed. "Come here."

I step over and sit beside him as he turns to Spot. "What happened? I thought she was working with Ratchet today?"

"That's up to her to tell you." Spot winks at me. "But Ratchet gave her the day off because she couldn't focus anymore."

"Mari?"

"Please stay, Spots…" He nods, and sits beside me on the berth, where I'm now sitting between him and Aid.

"What's wrong, Sweetspark?" I shake my head. "Mari…"

"Nothing's wrong, Aid."

"She's been crying, Spot."

"I'm aware of that, but nothing's _wrong_."

"The bond came active…and I couldn't keep it in…"

Aid smiles at me gently. "Oh, Mari…" He pulls me in for a hug before letting me go. "You need to tell the others, and Silver _definitely_ needs to know. You've got Spot for advice of course, but…"

"Silver may be able to help where I can't."

Aid nods. "Not to mention her Sire will want to know. Any idea when she'll be coming?"

I smile over at Aid. "March 14th."

"They're letting her come?"

"They're letting her come." I stand. "Let's go see Silver so Mom can rest."

* * *

 **Main Base**

I watch as Hot Spot reaches up to knock on the door with his free hand, his other arm around my shoulders. "Silver?" The door opens to reveal a harried-looking Silverbolt with a hurt-looking Skydive behind him and a glaring Air Raid staring off past where we can see. "Bad time?"

He sighs before glancing over his shoulder. "Hold on a moment." He ducks back inside and closes the door. " _Air Raid, apologize to Fireflight. He's not that bad. Sling… You shouldn't have thrown the datapad at Air Raid, especially since Skydive was reading it. You hit Flight in the head._ " The door opens again a moment later. "All right. Mariposa, Hot Spot, come in."

"What happened?"

He sighs. "Fireflight wasn't paying attention and fell on Air Raid, who started yelling at him. Slingshot got annoyed at the yelling and threw Skydive's datapad at the two. It's broken, so Dive's upset, and Flight got hit on the head…"

I shake my head. "In other words, a mess."

"Yep." He shakes his head. "So, what happened?"

"Mari?" Spot looks down to where I'm staring at my Sire dazedly. I can all _but_ see a dent on the back of his head from the datapad.

I shake my head before looking up to him. "Huh?" He chuckles slightly as I give him an apologetic smile. "Sorry…"

"Don't be, Mari. Ratch did say you were zoned…"

"Spot? Mari? What happened?"

I turn to them and blink back fresh, but still happy, tears as I smile. "The bond came active…"

"Bond?"

Slingshot slaps Fireflight across the back of the head—right on the dent I'd noticed—getting a glare from Silverbolt. "Her bond with her sister, you dumbaft!"

I glare at the rude jet. "Be nice, Slings! I told you before you're not getting any more brothers, so need to be nice to the ones you've got!"

Fireflight grins at me. "You will, though!"

"I know…" I smile to prove I'm not upset—actually, I'm really excited about seeing them and being a big sister again.

"Aren't you excited?"

I nod. "Of course I am, Dad! I'm just…" I huff softly. "Scared…"

Fireflight steps over to me. "Scared? Why?"

I motion to the five of them. "I lived in this kind of life—worse than that, actually… Flight, I was abused and neglected with my human family. They hated me, and I could never figure out why—it's why I found Defensor in the first place. I'm a pacifist, but…but I can be seriously passive aggressive sometimes… And I still wonder… Can I actually do this, without being a bad commander like 'Master was… After all… I almost lost Star trying to protect her before… Just because I got hurt and angry and I got defensive and…" I glance over at Slingshot. "I guess it's in my genes… But still… It's not the right thing…to hurt my sister…" I turn and cling to Spot. "I'm scared…that I'll hurt them like I did Star… I don't know how to be a _good_ big sister!"

Fireflight steps over and lays a hand on my doorwing, just like Aid usually does. "You'll figure it out, Sweetspark."

Silverbolt steps over to me and lays a hand on my shoulder. "I did, after all, and so did Hot Spot."

"I know, Dad… It's just… Stressful… And I don't handle stress well…" I lean over to look at Sire's head so I can check the damage. "All right, I'm new to this, but that needs fixed, so we need to get you to Ratchet so he can do it."

"Mari?"

"She gets nauseated when she's stressed—especially after she eats, we've noticed—and…"

"It goes through the bond, which means her sister's struggled with it too."

"Yep." Spot sighs. "We'll take Flight over to the med-bay and see if Ratchet will either repair this, or teach our rather out-of-it femmeling to."

"I'm still confused about that." We turn to Skydive. "How is she out-of-it? Her bond came active, yes, but how does that make her space out?"

Hot Spot sighs. "Mari hasn't even spoken to her since the 16th, and you know how deep and strong the bonds are, especially when they've been inactive for a while."

"Actually, you guys would know that more."

Hot Spot sighs. "Yes. We do. I…I don't need to be reminded of that…"

I sigh, and put an arm around Hot Spot. "I'm spacy on a good day—it's been worse since I met Star, actually—but since she's been just as out-of-it as I am when we're together…" I shrug. "She just compensates better than I can. She hides things from me, though…like Mom does with Spot…and it hurt…even when I didn't know…she was my sister…"

"Mari…" I turn to Skydive with a questioning look. "How did you hurt her?"

I look down. "I was trying to fight against a controlling bully of a girl we were in school with, to protect her, because she didn't know her like I did." I sigh heavily. "Well, the day came when I couldn't take it anymore—I had several days like that before and after this, but the times before I'd turned to my journal." I shake my head. "This time, I wrote her a note, but in it, I put all the pain and bitterness I was feeling from her running off with the controlling bitch."

The four Aerials look stunned, while Silverbolt nods. "Wow…" He'd heard this before, if not from me, then from Spot.

"At a later date, I threw a bracelet she'd given me at her and told her to "give this to your new best friend" before running away in tears. They…they followed me…and I didn't like that she had to see me cry… I was hiding beside a file cabinet, though…and she found me." I glance down at my wrist—I never take either of them off now that I live in bot form, and somehow, they managed to grow with my wrist without snapping, though I don't know how—and finger the one with the centerpiece of a floral-print cube. "I got it back a few months later, but it…it just manages to remind me of what I'd done…and how bad that letter I wrote hurt her…"

Silverbolt sighs. "Were there any other moments…like that?"

"…She told me I wasn't her friend anymore a year later, and I…hid under a bus so she wouldn't see my cry. It was a Wednesday night service, and we had my cousins with us, so Briar had to take care of them. I couldn't stay in the same room as her after that…"

"While you were an EMT?"

"After I flunked the first test because I was so nervous I'd forgotten everything I'd learned. Before I passed the second test that actually made me an EMT. That was a tense time for sure."

"And you hid under a _bus_?"

"Yes. I hid under a bus. There was literally _nowhere else_ I could hide where she wouldn't find me."

"She'll learn that you need that time to yourself after a while, Mar. We did."

I smile, and hug Slingshot. "Thanks…" I turn to Fireflight. "We need to get you to the medbay." I glance over my shoulder before leading him out the door. "Dad, I'm a space case too, okay? You can't let it get to you…when they call you that."

"Hold up, Mari! I'm still talking!"

"Then talk with Silver. I'm getting Dad to Ratch." I stop and start laughing. "Now I'm channeling Spot…again…"

"Again?"

I nod. "I'm hyper and spacy at the same time. It's not a good combination, Dad—trust me on that one."

He nods. "I heard about your foot from your Carrier."

"Yep. I fell up the step." I giggle as I push the medbay door open. "Anyone can fall down the stairs, but it takes a sufficiently talented klutz to fall _up_ the stairs." I huff. "Sadly, I am one _sufficiently talented klutz_."

"And more than likely a menace on the roads."

"Oh, ha ha, Ratchet." I laugh to let him know I'm not mad. "Actually, yes. Just a couple years I ran into a guardrail because my phone went off and I was barely compensating for my dizziness at the time, so…" I shrug. "Good thing there wasn't anyone around me!" I pause to think. "Or with me!" I turn to Dad. "I have Tink here, and I can show you the dent!" I glance at his head. "But I think we should get yours fixed first. Ratch?"

"Wow, you're a chatterbox today. Feels like Bluestreak's in here with me." He smiles at me. "All right, what happened?"

"Slingshot threw a datapad at me."

"Then he slapped him there." He gives me a look. "Spot and I went to tell them about the bond coming active."

"Ah." He sighs. "All right, up on the berth. Mari, I need the scanner and one of the magnets in the third drawer."

"Got 'em!" I run over to get them before handing them to the medic with a smile.

"Where's Hot Spot?"

"Still with Silverbolt."

"Then I want you to stay with Fireflight, Sweetspark. You're still…"

"In la-la land."

"Yeah. I know it's your baseline, but I don't want you getting hurt, and you are at the same point you must have been at when you hurt your foot."

"Okay." I watch him fix the dent before checking for deeper damage, then smile when he nods to me. "Now, both of you, take it easy. I don't want another accidental injury in here, and you're both…"

"Flighty." I shrug at Fireflight as we leave. "Well, it IS part of your name."

"Better than being called a space case again…" He sighs. "Why do you make fun of yourself all the time? That doesn't seem very healthy to me…"

"Flight…Dad…" I shake my head. "It's better than getting upset when others do it. If I do it to myself, no one can get to me when they do it."

"Oh… Good point. Maybe I should try that."

* * *

 **that night**

I sigh from where I'm curled up on Hot Spot's chest, Aid with us even while still sick, because he didn't want to be alone. "I've been meaning to ask you guys something."

"What is it?"

"You know how you told me Aid was an actual carrier?"

"Yes?"

"Would that be the reason I feel Bee too?" The five of them go silent—not even fans going. "Um…guys? Did I crash you all?"

"We're fine, Mari." Aid sighs. "He was my first-born—a complete surprise to all of us. He was sparked on the middle of a mountain, in the middle of the winter, in the middle of a fragged ice storm, and I was trying to repair Sunstreaker at the same time."

"So… You had my brother at the same time as you were fixing Sunstreaker." I smile. "I don't think any human could have done something like that before. You're amazing, but…you had to be scared to death."

"I _was_." He sighs heavily. "I had left without thinking in the middle of what was probably one of the worst ice storms we'd seen to date, and I was in the beginning stages of labor without even knowing I was carrying, let alone in labor. We had barely reached adulthood, Mari."

"He was a wreck for weeks after that day, Mari. When he learned about the two of you…the war had started up again with a vengeance, and he knew we couldn't keep the two of you safe and look out for Bee…"

"I don't blame him for sending us here, Spot. He did what he had to do. I blame _them_."

"Mari…"

"They abused and neglected me, Mom. They had no right to treat me like shit because I was what they'd ended up with. I never should have had to run away to feel safe. You know—I came here to _die_. No one should have that as their story."

* * *

 **Four Days Later, morning**

I slide out of the cuddle pile and start downstairs, planning to get a cube with Fireflight so we can have some father-daughter time before my sister gets here on the 14th. I know Brightstar is a serious Daddy's girl, so even though I am too, I'm scared of heights, and she wants to fly, so I plan to let her hang with Sire more—that is, if she wants to. I smile when I notice Aid and Ratchet are sitting at the table with their morning energon. "Morning, Guys!"

"Good morning, Mari."

"How did you sleep, Sweetspark? Any nightmares?"

"Aid?"

"She's had one or two since she got here, Ratch. She's got PTSD from the abuse she went through."

"No nightmares." I shrug. "Had a weird dream about Star though."

"Weird dream?"

"She was sick, and we had been riding on a moving couch with some fat guy. It was getting to me, but I held my own and managed to take care of her before running to hide. She found me, as usual…"

"Mari… Why were you hiding?"

"I don't know! I wasn't upset in the dream, so I can only assume it was to avoid the feedback…"

"You can't hide from feedback, Mari." Aid huffs as I start for the door. "Where are you going?"

"Energon with Dad before shift."

"All right. We'll see you in Medbay at 9."


End file.
